Not In A Million Years
by Shinsun
Summary: Vegeta is unnerved by the notion that he might be falling for Goku, and that's just the beginning... Consequences, relationships put to the test and some rather unnatural circumstances may force the two Saiyans together, whether they want to be or not.
1. Chapter 1

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 1

He was breathing in my ear. Low, ragged pants to match the rhythm in which I thrust into him. His sweat heated my skin; his fingernails dug into my spine.

"Vegeta," he whispered, his lips an inch from my neck, his breath hot on my already sweltering face. I moaned softly and tangled my fingers in his black spikes.

"Don't stop, Vegeta," he panted, his warm, wet tongue flicking across my jugular.

I felt my breath catch in my throat and hammered into him, almost frantic as I attacked his gorgeous lips with bruising intensity. _Kakarot…._

"Vegeta, stop!"

I broke away, looking into wide, blue eyes below me. The woman Bulma looked right back. Her delicate lips were swollen from the intensity of my own and her arms were marred with rings of bruises shaped like the grip of my fingers. Shit. I'd done it again. I'd gotten lost in one of the haunting fantasies that had been dogging me for weeks. The worst part was that they had their roots – however distant – in reality.

I apologized to the woman – with my eyes, not my voice – and pulled out of her gently, rolling over and looking at the wall. Twice now. Twice I'd pictured Kakarot beneath me instead of her. Twice I'd heard his breath, his voice; whispering to me. And twice I'd hurt her, believing her to be someone else, someone who could take the intensity and respond in kind.

My worst, nagging fear was that I'd give myself away. That I'd call her by Kakarot's name on accident or say or do something to blow my cover. Why did Kakarot bother me so? It had only been one time, and I barely remembered it anyway.

I'd been angry, humiliated, frustrated. I wanted to take it out on someone, and Kakarot had been…. _conveniently_ available. I should have been surprised that he didn't refuse, I should have been angry that he ended up on top; but at the time I could barely think clearly enough to spit out my demands and accept whatever repercussion the other Saiyan had to offer.

And afterwards, nearly every night for the past two weeks, he was there in my head; and I'm somewhat ashamed to say that – fantasies or not – I enjoyed his presence thoroughly; in a lip-biting-to-keep-from-shouting-aloud, sheet-washing-to-erase-evidence, twisted kind of way.

The woman laid a hand on my bare shoulder and I flinched slightly.

"Vegeta, what's wrong?" she asked honestly, I turned to look at her; at a loss for words.

"You've been acting strange for days," she went on, "Talk to me."

I sighed and leaned back against the pillows.

"Nothing, woman; I just can't seem to get my head on straight." True enough. At least I was only _half_-lying.

"Does it have something to do with me? With us?" she pried, attempting to meet my eyes and failing.

_Yes, a little bit,_ my thoughts taunted me.

"No." I said shortly, in the tone I knew allowed no argument.

"Okay, well…." She hesitated, "If you ever want to tell me about it, I'm always right here."

"There's nothing to tell," I lied, yanking the sheets over myself and looking away again pointedly.

I lay still until she fell asleep, trying to force the erotic image of Kakarot below me – even if it had never really happened – from my mind.

X

"Is that all you've got, Kakarot?" I taunted, dodging his punch aimed at my head and darting in to jab at his ribs. He grinned savagely and delivered a devastating kick to the back of my neck, using the reverse physics reaction to ram his knee into my stomach. I staggered backwards in midair and wiped the blood from my lip with a sneer. When fighting, I was at the top of my game; invincible, I could put my conflicted mind to rest and just retaliate and block without having to think. And I had to admit – if only in the sanctity of my own mind – that Kakarot was magnificent in the heat of battle. Despite the fact that his actions were violent and in no way sexual, I got something out of the contact of his skin, the scent of his sweat and blood and the closeness of our bodies. It made my mind shut up for once. For once, I was content just to be where I was.

I fired a ki blast at the taller Saiyan and he took it head-on. The bolt of energy hit him square in the chest and burned away a portion of his gi shirt. I had always wondered why he wore clothing that shredded and burned so easily; it didn't seem practical. I glanced at my opponent again and my jaw very nearly hit the floor.

The sparks from his smoldering gi lit up Kakarot's fiery teal eyes, the sheen of sweat glistening on his perfectly chiseled muscles was exposed by the huge tear down the middle of his shirt; a steadily widening tear as the orange and blue cloth burned away. There was something about his careless smirk and wind-tousled blonde hair that made my heart skip and I literally had to wrench my gaze away from him to keep from staring openly.

"Something wrong, Vegeta?" he asked coolly.

_Damn him and his stupid, godsdamned_perfect_ body, _I snarled mentally.

I attacked again, determined not to show weakness to the man most likely to exploit it. I came up from behind and grabbed his wrists, pinning them behind his back; forcing myself not to think of how good he smelled, how close he was to me and how….

"Vegeta," Kakarot intoned; I blinked. I hadn't budged from where I was; with his arms locked behind him in my grasp, his back an inch from my chest. I swallowed hard, struggling to control my breathing and my poise.

"Vegeta, let go," the tall Saiyan commanded, slipping his wrists out of my grip and turning around. His aqua eyes flitted to mine, then down, where they lingered for a moment before travelling back up to my face. I subconsciously drifted an inch closer to him, attempting to read his expression.

He tensed and shoved me none-too-gently away from him.

"No, Vegeta." He crossed his arms over his semi-bare chest and stared me down.

Throwing pride and caution to the wind, I pressed on.

"Kakarot," I prompted.

"No." the other Saiyan didn't give an inch.

"But… that time –" I protested, ignoring the little voice in my head that demanded I regain my princely stature.

"We both swore not to speak of it again," Kakarot growled, "It was a one-time thing. Just forget about it."

I wrestled down my shattered pride and averted my gaze. _Was I not good enough?_ Some part of me wondered, _That must be it, why else would he -?_

"Just go, Vegeta. I can't do this right now," Kakarot said stiffly.

Sanity dawned, and I wondered why I even desired the other Saiyan in the first place. _Why do you haunt me like this, Kakarot?_ Forcing myself to look away, to turn around and leave; I succumbed to my nattering thoughts; knowing I should deny feeling anything for the younger Saiyan, but still unable to get his face to leave me alone.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 2

Kakarot's scent invaded my dream that night. Nothing else; just his scent. The dark, smoky, _Saiyan_ scent that titillated my nostrils and sent chills skittering down my spine. My eyes snapped open as someone shook my shoulder to wake me.

The woman stared down at me, a curl of blue hair tumbling down over her face. Sometimes I wondered if she's been born with blue hair or if she'd dyed it. Maybe she'd been in some kind of radioactive accident that…. Wait, was she talking to me?  
"…said he was concerned," she finished. I wished I'd caught the beginning of her statement, not wanting to make a fool of myself.

"Vegeta, hello? Earth to Vegeta," the woman waved a hand in front of my face and I sat up, scowling.

"I'm sorry, woman; I didn't hear," I muttered. Bulma stared.

"Are you feeling okay? You just apologized and admitted to making a mistake in one sentence."

"I'm fine," I gritted out, "What were you saying?"

"Just that Goku was worried he'd hurt your feelings or something when he sent you away yesterday,"

I perked with interest despite myself, _Kakarot was worried…. About me?_ I shoved the thought away, refusing to give in to whatever was possessing me to think such things. Since when did I care?

"I don't think I have any 'feelings' to hurt," I sneered breezily, standing up and pulling on my boots and gloves.

The woman started to say something else, but I suddenly didn't want to talk to her anymore and left without a backward glance.

X

I had hoped I would be able to train in the gravity room until I could think straight again; blasting the robot drones that hovered around me effortlessly as I ran over the same string of thoughts in my head over and over. I felt like I was stuck in a rut, unable to think about anything else, and I wore those same thoughts down to nothing like water eroding stone. What exactly did I feel for Kakarot? Why? When did this happen? Why didn't _he_ seem to feel the same way? Wait… what way did I feel? How could he not feel the same as me if I didn't even know what I was feeling myself?

As you, reader, are probably guessing; the more I thought about such things, the more frustrated I got.

While I was distracted with my nattering questions, one of the drones actually managed to singe my shoulder, and with a snarl of irritation I disintegrated the lot of them. And glancing at the piles of ash that were all that remained of my so-called opponents; I absently wished I could quiet my mind as easily as I could the robots.

Still scowling, I wiped the sweat from my brow and exited the gravity chamber, annoyed that the training session had done nothing to settle my thoughts and doubts. I was halfway across the lawn of Capsule Corp, distantly wondering what it would take to get this mudball of a planet's populous to kneel before me as I well deserved and fuming with the injustice that I, the Prince of All Saiyans, had to get stuck with so many petty worries that other people should be taking care of – I had more important things to do than wrestle with feelings that I shouldn't even have – when, to add to my streak of bad luck, I stumbled – _stumbled!_ – and, attempting to catch my balance and cursing at the same time, I found myself crashing right into the object of my fretting. Kakarot. Where the _hell _had he come from? I hadn't even sensed his energy….

"What are you doing?" he asked flatly as I scrambled for my tact and my balance, probably looking for all the world like a startled, flailing child. Oh, the humiliation. I'd never admit it out loud, but I felt heat crawling up my face as I disentangled myself from Kakarot and backed away shakily.

"…Tripping?" I said blankly, honestly having no reply. He chuckled at this, and the heat flooding my cheeks intensified.

An extremely awkward silence fell and we both stood there; me trying to look _anywhere_ but his eyes, him seeming to do everything in his power to force me to meet his gaze.

Kakarot cleared his throat obstinately; but I still looked away.

My tongue felt like it was made of sand. Also, I couldn't seem to get my heart to stop making this annoying _fluttering_ motion. _Stupid human influence, this must be some asinine physical response of theirs…._

…Response to what? I still had no idea what I was feeling, even faced with the person that I had been grinding my teeth over for almost two weeks.

Finally I unchained my traitorous tongue and managed to spit out a sentence, "Why are you here? What do you want, Kaka… K….?"

I tried to force his name to leave my lips but very suddenly, without warning, my throat closed up, eliminating my powers of speech. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

"I came to see Bulma, she wanted to talk to me," Kakarot said, then his eyebrows furrowed a little in a concerned expression that was simply adorable.

"Vegeta? What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost,"

I realized that I'd been staring into space, trying to get control over myself, and all the color from before felt like it had drained from my face.

I made the mistake of looking at him, as it only worsened my inability to speak. I had no idea why I was suddenly this off guard around the third-class Saiyan that I'd fought countless battles beside; maybe my relentless contemplation of my _feelings_ in addition to the dreams that so haunted me had had some kind of effect on my mind.

Something clicked and I realized quite suddenly what was wrong with me.

"I-I'm fine, Kakarot." I stammered quickly, evasively, "The door is unlocked; go on inside and see the woman."

Kakarot's gaze remained on me a moment longer, as if he wasn't quite satisfied with my explanation; then he walked away with a shrug and a parting glance over his shoulder.

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding in a rush, and my godsdamned heart did that stupid little _fluttering_ thing again as I watched the younger Saiyan leave.

I'd seen enough of human behavior to say I understood them pretty well. And I almost refused to admit to myself that what I was feeling was real; because it was demeaning and damn near impossible for a prince to confess, even silently. The symptoms that had been plaguing me were reminiscent of something that was common in young – usually _teenage -_ human _females_, if that gives any indication to my predicament.

But I'll say it, for time and convenience sake; judge me not:

Unless I was quite mistaken, I, Prince Vegeta, had a _crush_ on Kakarot.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 3

I managed to make it to the Capsule Corp bedroom – I still couldn't think of it as _mine;_ besides, I shared it with the woman - without making any more of a fool of myself, passing Kakarot and the woman talking in the kitchen without so much as acknowledging them. Once I got up the stairs and walked into the room, I let the door close behind me and stood stock still for a good three seconds. Then I whirled around and punched the wall as hard as I could with a frustrated snarl, feeling the plaster, insulation and scaffolding give way and crumble around my fist before I sank to my knees, and – I loath to admit it – broke into tears.

How could I have fallen for _Kakarot_ of all people? What was it about him that affected me so? He obviously didn't feel the same, so where did that leave me? I'll tell you where. It left me in his shadow _yet again_, and this time there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. The man was married; he belonged to someone else. In addition to that, he was a _man,_ and if he followed this planet's ridiculous customs, even the suggestion of him being with me was wrong, wrong, wrong. And we were rivals too. It was hopeless.

I stayed there, on my knees with my fingers clenched in the carpet, for a long time; thinking about how unfair my life was, until the door swung open and the woman walked in.

"I heard a bang up here, what happened?" she asked, then her eyes found the hole – it was more like a gaping cavern than anything else – that I'd punched in the wall. She raised an eyebrow.

"Vegeta…." she began warningly.

"Go away, woman," I said between gritted teeth, not moving from where I was.

She let out her breath in a huff.

"Don't take that tone with me," I swear, she sounded like a housewife. I reminded myself she kind of _was,_ except she wasn't really my wife.

"I'll take whatever tone I want, I am a _prince_!" I snapped, getting to my feet angrily.

"Of _one_ person," the woman scoffed, "Get off your high horse, your _title _doesn't scare me."

I almost choked on my rage, at the woman, at Kakarot, at the universe, and… at myself.

"What do you want?" I growled, crossing my arms and tapping my fingers against my bicep impatiently.

"Well it sounded like there was a cannon going off up here, naturally I would have been worried," she muttered.

I snorted, "For your house, or for me?"

"Both," she said honestly.

I turned my back on her, "I don't need your pity, woman."

"And you're not about to get it," she paused, "Goku just left. He said you've been acting weird for days, I told him that that's what _I_ said."

I didn't give her the satisfaction of a reply, but my fingers tightened their grip on my crossed arms.

"Something's wrong in your twisted up little world, isn't it?" she asked after a solid minute of silence.

"No, everything's just _fucking_ peachy!" I snarled sarcastically, whipping around to face her, "Nothing's wrong in the slightest, whatever gave you that idea?" I don't know why I was venting my anger on her; I just needed to lash out at someone.

"You know you could _talk_ to me about these things!" she shouted back, "Instead of just crawling behind your little barrier and feeling sorry for yourself!"

"I don't -!" I began heatedly, but she cut me off.

"You know, Vegeta? For you it's nothing but '_me, me, me'_; you don't care what happens to _anybody _else, as long as you get _your_ way," she wasn't shouting anymore, but her tone was biting.

"That's not true," I growled.

"Oh, isn't it? Who are you kidding? You're just a spoiled prince that wants the whole universe given to him on a silver platter."

"You don't understand," I said almost too quietly for her to hear, "None of you will ever understand."

"What don't I understand?" Bulma snapped, "I've known you for _years_, Vegeta. I've been through Frieza, and Cell, and Buu; just like you. I've gotten closer to you than _anyone_ else is likely to get_, ever_. _What_ don't I understand?"

I opened my mouth for a stinging retort, but then her words sunk in. _'…closer to you than anyone else is likely to get, ever.'_ I hung my head. She was right. I had zero chance of Kakarot ever getting that close. Zero chance of him getting anywhere _near_ that close to me. He probably thought I still hated him.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" the woman demanded abruptly, "You've been like this for _days_! If you don't _tell_ someone how you feel, they'll never know, Vegeta! Talk to me!"

I blinked.

"You're right," and without an explanation or anything I walked right past her and left.

X

"Kakarot!" I shouted, landing in front of the Saiyan in question's house, "Kakarot, I need to talk to you!"

Under normal circumstances, I would have died before saying those words with anything but grudging malice, but circumstances were far from normal right now.

The door swung open and Kakarot stepped outside, looking confused and slightly irritated.

"What?" he asked bluntly, hands on his hips, "Do you _ever_ show up to anyone's house when you're actually invited?"

I was about to say something, but then I realized that whatever I'd come here to say had very suddenly flown south for the winter, along with my confidence. Was this what human teenagers had to go through every day? When faced with the object of their…. _affections_ – gods, that word was hard for me to even _think_! – did their knees suddenly turn liquid and their tact turn to gibberish? Suddenly I had a newfound empathy and pity for teenagers. How strange.

"I just… I… well…." _Very smooth,_ I thought mutinously.

"Spit it out, I haven't got all day," Kakarot snapped. I flinched, I'd never heard him use that slicing tone except in the heat of battle; something had really gotten under his skin. Maybe this was a bad time to try to confess my feelings. I sighed. Maybe _anytime_ was a bad time.

"N-nothing, forget it," I took to the sky without another word, swallowing my disappointment and frustration painfully. Before I blasted away, I heard Kakarot mutter, 'huge waste of my time'.

X

My week went downhill from there. If it was possible to go any further downhill than I already was. I returned to the woman's demands of 'where the hell were you?' and 'why did you leave right in the middle of a conversation?' I just tuned her out, walking past her without a glance.

Several days passed uneventfully. I slept badly, and my waking hours were a nightmare of the woman's yapping and my own sinking feeling of what I can only call 'sorrow'. I didn't train, I didn't want to; and I ate with less enthusiasm than befitted a Saiyan. I tried to get through each day with as little effort as I could put up. That was all I was willing to do.

I woke up on – what day was it? – and my stomach was churning horribly. I ignored the woman's questions and dashed to the bathroom to vomit. It was rather strange; I didn't remember eating something unusual or anything like that. I wondered absently if it was possible to be sick with longing.

As I mentioned, the week was miserable. But when it finally ended, things got a little better. Trunks came back from his grandparents' house – they no longer lived at Capsule Corp; don't ask _me_ why – and pestered me with about a million questions in the usual way about how my week was and whether anything exciting, interesting, or gross had happened in his absence.

"Trunks," I said bluntly, "It was very boring."

"That's probably because _I _wasn't here," he said importantly, I swear, he gets that arrogance _straight_ from me. At least I could admit it now.

He went on to babble about his _fascinating_ week at his grandparents' place, and I found my thoughts drifting as he chattered about childish things that I had no interest whatsoever in. At first it was just the usual distraction I got when people talked about things I didn't care about: noticing something like a crack in the table I hadn't noticed before, thinking about how highly unlikely the possibility of ruling the universe was now, dwelling on some half-forgotten memory; the usual.

But then my thoughts fell on Kakarot of their own volition. And I was startled by the _vividness _of the image that sprang into my mind. Kakarot, sprawled completely nude on a bed, with an entirely too unrealistically carnal smirk on his face. His wrists were shackled and were fastened above his head to a metal loop on the ceiling and his legs were spread invitingly.

Gods, I just…. I just couldn't comprehend it. I think my mingled attraction and horror were written all over my face because Trunks stopped in the middle of his detailed explanation of how _exactly_ he'd learned to milk a cow to look at me strangely.

"Dad, what's wrong?" he asked carefully, knowing my tendency to lash out at him at random.

"N-n-nothing," I stammered shakily, forcing the… the _fantasy_ from my mind, "Nothing at all."

I took a moment to appreciate that I'd lied to just about everyone that had talked to me all week.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 4

_((Yes, now you get to see the real reason why I wrote this story. This is all for you, Lily, you know who you are and what I promised.))_

_X_

"I'm telling you, woman, there's nothing wrong with me!" I snapped as Bulma gave me that _look_ for the third time in two days, "Keep your wandering eyeballs to yourself!"

She sat back at the dinner table with what looked suspiciously like a pout.

"Vegeta, you've been acting weird, just admit it, why can't you tell me what's wrong?"

I was about to flash back a stinging retort, but a sweeping sense of nausea stopped me and I just grit my teeth and looked away.

"See that's exactly what I'm talking about," Bulma said bluntly, "Usually you would have snarled at me for what I said, but you just turned a rather nasty shade of green and averted your gaze, why?"

I mumbled something that sounded like "not feeling too well".

"I can see that," Bulma rolled her eyes, "But _why_?"

"I have no idea!" I shouted, infuriated. When did my business suddenly become everyone else's business?

"Well, why don't you let me give you an examination then? It could be serious and we don't want the _Prince of All Saiyans_ out of commission because we didn't know what was –"

"Fine," I interrupted rudely, "If it'll shut you up for two seconds, go ahead."

I wasn't sure if I liked the look of scientific glee that crossed the woman's face; like she wanted to start poking me with needles or something. Not while I was still able to blast her head off her shoulders, thank you.

Next thing I knew I was sitting on one of those stainless white medical tables and said woman was bustling around, muttering under her breath. I thought she was putting up _way_ too much of a fuss over what was probably just a stomach bug. Honestly, she acted like I would drop dead at any moment.

I tried to retain my princely poise and my careless scowl; but it's not easy to sit straight _and_ bend over so the woman could listen to my lungs, or scowl _and_ open my mouth so she could look down my throat. Which, by the way, was not only humiliating, it was downright violating. I hated every minute of it, but if it made her stop pestering me; I supposed I could grin and bear it. Minus the grinning. I could bear it anyway.

Finally the woman stopped her ridiculous procedures and pacing and just looked at me with a puzzled expression, one hand on one hip, her tongue in the side of her cheek thoughtfully.

"Well?" I growled impatiently, "Will I live?"

Bulma blinked twice rapidly, "Of course, everything seems normal…. except…."

"Except what?" I tried to sound disinterested, but my heart was in my throat.

"I… I can't explain it…. It's just…." she shook her head quickly, "It's just impossible."

"What's impossible?" Again, my indifferent façade didn't seem to make it past my words.

"It's… nothing," she said evasively, the lie was simply screaming in her eyes, "Forget it."

I remembered saying the exact same thing to Kakarot the other day. It had been a lie then, too.

My patience had run out and I leapt to my feet, pinning the woman to the wall with my fingers gripping her throat.

"Woman, if you don't tell me _exactly_ what you've found out, I swear…." I snarled.

"Y…. you won't like it, Vegeta…." she gasped painfully.

I tightened my grip on her windpipe, "Tell me or I'll kill you!"

She swallowed once, twice, blinking fearful tears from her wide blue eyes, and shook her head in terror.

"Tell me now or-!" I began.

"Vegeta, you're pregnant!" she choked.

I wasn't conscious of my hand leaving her throat, but she slumped to the floor, panting for breath. I stood rigid for what felt like years, I didn't even blink, I just stared at nothing.

I tried denying it a thousand times in my head; but no matter how many times I tried to hide from it, the truth was still there.

"The readings…." The woman said quietly, pausing between her words to gulp air, "Said you had conceived. I said… it was impossible, I told you…. you wouldn't like it…. but… I checked it a dozen times, the data doesn't lie."

I didn't reply; I didn't even make any semblance of response. I just stood stock still like a statue, looking through her.

"M-maybe it's different for Saiyans;" Bulma went on shakily, "But for humans… uh….that is…. human men don't usually…."

I breathed three words; so quietly that I barely heard them myself.

"So that's why."

Bulma looked at me quizzically.

"What? What do you mean?" she got to her feet slowly, "You aren't surprised?"

Oh, I was surprised all right. The thing was, way back when there were records of Saiyan males that _could_ conceive and carry children; I just didn't believe them when I was young. Also, the woman's explanation, however shocking, did clarify a few things; the mood swings, the nausea, et cetra…. And, according to the lore of Saiyan mating, my feelings for Kakarot were instinctual; an inbred urge to keep the father close….

_The father….._

"Holy gods," I whispered, falling to my knees with the weight of the revelation.

If what the woman said was true; if I was…. _pregnant…._ That meant Kakarot – _Kakarot!_ – was the father… he _had_ to be.

And what did that make me?

"Vegeta?" the woman asked tentatively, taking a step towards me, "Are you okay?"

I almost didn't hear; and when I did, I shook my head no. There was no way in hell I was okay.

Bulma helped me to my feet and led me to a chair which I sank into numbly. Slowly, the concern and confusion faded from her eyes and was replaced by irritation.

"Looks like you have some explaining to do, _Your Highness_," she said coldly, obviously reaching the same conclusion I'd reached _way_ before her: if I was indeed pregnant, that meant I wasn't the father… not necessarily, if I was on the receiving end. I shuddered at how legit that was, remembering that one, seemingly meaningless time with Kakarot.

And the question written literally _all over_ the woman's face was '_if you're not the father,_ _who is?'_

I sighed dejectedly. She'd find out sooner or later anyway.

"Kakarot," I said monotonously, my lips barely moving.

That one word explained everything to her, obviously; she wasn't an idiot.

I didn't even see her hand withdraw, but I flinched as it struck me across the cheek. I glared at her murderously for daring to slap the Saiyan Prince.

"You dare -!" I began heatedly, but she cut me off, and I was startled to see that her blue eyes were blazing.

"Oh no, you are _not_ turning this one on me!" she shrieked, "The only person at fault here is _you,_ Vegeta! How long were you planning on keeping this from me?"

Honestly I'd hoped she'd never find out, but I'd probably get worse than a slap across the face if I said that out loud.

I held my breath, counting the seconds in my head; then I let it out in a rush.

"I knew I wouldn't be able to hide it from you," I said sincerely.

"Does Goku know? About…. _this_, I mean?"

I was about to ask how he could _possibly_ know if _I myself_ didn't until now, but then a thought occurred to me. Kakarot had been acting strange; withdrawn and tense, for a while now. Maybe…. maybe he _did_ know, maybe he knew from the beginning.

"I….I don't know," I answered honestly.

Bulma looked at me for a long moment, saying nothing; then took a seat across from me, looking spent.

She covered her eyes with a hand, taking slow breaths. I felt inclined to join her in that, but I couldn't make myself move. It was as if now that my body realized what was going on inside it, it refused to give me control over it.

Finally I couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Say something, woman." I snapped brashly.

Bulma jumped and fixed me with unreadable eyes.

"T-there's not much I can say. I…. I'm just having a hard time believing any of this."

"Me too," I agreed quietly, fixing my gaze on the tile floor.

"Are you going to tell Goku?" she asked eventually, then her hand leapt to her mouth, "What if he…? Wait… Vegeta, are you even going to keep the baby?"

I bit my lip. I literally _never_ thought I'd have to even consider this decision in my life.

_It's been what, three weeks since….? What happens if I choose…? But what about…?_

Somehow I was having a hard time finishing my thoughts. Big surprise.

"I…." I began; I swallowed hard and pushed on, "I think I should…. I think…."

Then all the distraught confusion, the indecision, even the _hurt_ and _sorrow_ of the situation surfaced without warning, and I felt tears jump to my eyes suddenly.

"I d-don't know!" I sobbed, attempting to hide my tears behind my hand, none-too-successfully.

I wasn't sure when Bulma came over to me, but the next thing I knew, she was whispering soothing things and stroking a hand up and down my back gently.

Some part of me wished it were Kakarot comforting me; that was how it was _supposed_ to be. But the rest of me just wanted that thought to shut up. Kakarot would hate me for this. And rightly so. If he didn't already.

"Shh, it's okay," Bulma murmured, "Let it out, Vegeta, it's alright."

"I-I don't know a-anything anymore," I said brokenly.

"It's okay," Bulma repeated, hugging me around my shoulders. Usually I'd scowl and slip away from the contact, but at that moment when my whole world was turned upside down, it felt kind of nice.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 5

Kakarot and I were sparring the next day. My suggestion. I needed to get him alone, to try and tell him.

Somehow he seemed to sense I was hiding something. He kept shooting me scrutinizing glances out of the corners of his turquoise eyes when he thought I wasn't looking; and he stayed on the offense more than defense, as though if he kept me on my toes I wouldn't have a chance to manipulate him, which he obviously thought was my intent. I didn't blame him; I'd been rather secretive lately.

As a matter of fact, I didn't blame Kakarot for _anything_ in this situation. The whole thing was my fault. I'd pressured him into having sex with me back then, even if it was only one time. I allowed him full control, and I ended up – despite the arrogant voice in my head that kept saying it was impossible – getting myself pregnant. My fault. All my fault.

It took me a while to notice I was sparring rather half-heartedly, I was more concerned with evading Kakarot's attacks than launching any of my own. I felt like I was made of glass, and if I stepped the wrong way, I'd shatter; most likely because of the instinctive need to protect the small life inside me, however preposterous the idea seemed right then.

Kakarot stopped attacking abruptly and just looked at me for a moment, crossing his arms in what looked like frustration.

I stopped as well and met his gaze questioningly.

"You're not fighting back," he said flatly, "Why? Are you still mad about before?" He didn't seem concerned or angry; he was just laying information out.

I swallowed hard. It was now or never.

"I-I'm not mad," I said slowly, ashamed that my voice shook a little, "It's just…. I…." I broke off, _how the hell am I supposed to tell him? Words won't do this justice at all! _

I wished I still had my tail; then I could convey emotions too complicated to voice, and Kakarot would understand better.

Kakarot blinked once and tilted his head to the side, waiting for me to continue with an emotionless face.

I took a deep breath and tried again, "It's not easy to…. to say this… but…." I glanced at Kakarot again and felt my tact crumble back to dust.

I thought about how Kakarot might react to what I had to say and shivered involuntarily. He was stronger than me. If he didn't like what he heard, there was no way I could stop him from beating me into the ground, or even killing me. He did have a tendency to be unpredictable; perhaps even more so than me.

Still Kakarot remained patient, stoic, waiting for me to spit out whatever I'd come to tell him. Some would call it uncharacteristic for him to be so expressionless and silent, but I think it reflected his nature perfectly. Give a little, take a lot. He could wait forever if he knew what he was here for was worth it.

I closed my eyes, praying for the will to try yet again.

"Take your time," Kakarot said.

I opened my mouth to start explaining again, to gloss over the awkwardness and slowly get to the point so as not to shock the other Saiyan into a rage. But the evasive, cunningly comforting words wouldn't come. I looked at Kakarot once again and a thought leapt into my head. _What would _you_ want to hear, if you were in his position?_

I'd want to hear the truth.

Swallowing my nerves, I tried to speak yet again.

"R-remember that time? When you and I… when we…." I cursed mentally; I was still just as unsure and stammering as I'd been before.

Kakarot nodded stiffly, "I remember." '_How could I forget?_' was written all over his face.

"Well… t-the thing is…." I faltered, "Every choice we make has a consequence, Kakarot…." I had to squeeze my eyes shut to grit out that last part, not wanting to see the dawning comprehension and horror in Kakarot's eyes that I knew would be there once he figured this out.

"Where are you… going with this?" Kakarot asked slowly, tactfully, betraying no emotion.

A sigh hissed past my lips. There was no other way I could say it, I kept my eyes closed as I forced myself to utter three words.

"Kakarot… I'm pregnant," I whispered, waiting for the world to stop on its axis, as it should have, given the circumstances.

Silence.

I couldn't take it anymore; I squinted one eye open and looked at him.

He was watching me with daggers in his eyes. I waited for him to shun me, to attack me, to say it was all my fault. What I didn't expect was for him to give a short, bark-like laugh with about as much humor in it as my face had color. None.

"You think this is some kind of joke?" he growled, "I didn't _want_ to do it with you that time, I didn't _want_ to cheat on ChiChi, and now you just _have_ to rub it in and make me look like an idiot! Again!"

I felt like the breath had been punched out of me. He thought I was lying, that I was fooling him.

"K-Kakarot, I'm _serious,_" I choked, "I wouldn't lie about this."

The taller Saiyan grabbed the front of my spandex shirt and leaned down until we were nose to nose, his aqua eyes sparking fire. I was conscious that I was shaking, my eyes wide, my heart beating rapidly; I'd never been so terrified in my life. _Especially_ not of Kakarot.

"Do you think I'm completely clueless?" he snarled between clenched teeth, "Do you think this is funny? That I'll fall for another one of your tricks? Not this time, Vegeta. I've gotten the worse end of your gimmicks one too many times."

I tried to pull free of his grip, every muscle screaming for escape, but I couldn't budge. I felt like prey beneath the gaze of a hunter, frozen against my will.

"You really are pathetic, Vegeta. I can't believe you'd stoop so low, I thought you were better than this." he released the front of my shirt and looked down on me, literally. My hand crept to my collarbone where his fingers had just left, my breath coming in sharp gasps.

"B-but I…" I began unsteadily, looking up at him pleadingly.

"No, Vegeta," he snapped, "You won't make a fool of me this time. I'm smarter now."

_No, you're not_; I thought; _you're like I used to be; hiding from the truth because it's too hard to look at._

"Don't follow me," he said bluntly, turning his back on me and blasting away without another word.

I stood there in midair for a few seconds, watching him go. Then my brain caught up with what had just happened and I shook my head quickly to clear it.

"Kakarot, wait!" I shouted, chasing after him. He whipped around, his golden hair swirling around his face, and glared at me with something between disgust and rage.

"I told you not to follow me," he growled menacingly.

I hesitated, startled by the hate in his eyes.

"I… I thought we were different now," I said quietly, "I thought we weren't rivals anymore…. I t-thought you were my friend."

His blonde eyebrows lowered a fraction of an inch.

"You thought wrong," he said coldly, "Friends don't lie to each other, Vegeta. Friends don't make fun of each other or manipulate each other. You don't know what friendship is, do you?"

"I…." I began desperately, "Kakarot, I swear to the gods, I'm telling the truth. I swear on my honor, on the pride of a Saiyan Prince!"

Kakarot shook his head slowly.

"It's amazing how far you'd go for your _fucking_ pride."

Whatever I'd been about to say in response caught in my throat.

"Please," I said beseechingly, feeling tears prick my eyes, "Please believe me. I'm preg-"

"Don't you dare," the younger Saiyan hissed, interrupting me with a slashing movement of his hand, "No more, Vegeta. No more lies."

"This isn't like you, Kakarot," I implored, "Please, listen to me –" I reached out to take hold of his shoulder and he whacked my hand away, looking at me as if I were something unpleasant on the bottom of his boot.

"Fuck off," he barked.

I stared. _What is wrong with you, Kakarot? I thought of all people _you'd_ believe me. I thought you'd help me get through this._

Maybe he was possessed, I thought. Maybe he…. it just didn't make sense. Why was Kakarot suddenly so bitter and cruel to me? Was he like this around everyone?

I started to plead with him again and he snarled and made as if to chase me away. I took the hint and fled. I'd had enough. Kakarot wasn't on my side. He wasn't on anyone's side. And I felt a wave of sorrow crash over me at the thought that the father wouldn't be there to see his child. I was on my own.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 6

Tears blurred my vision as I flew blindly for Capsule Corp. The sound of Kakarot's sneered words, the spite and loathing he had directed at me, still ringing in my ears. I felt leaden, heavy with anguish and regret. I wished Kakarot and I had never had anger sex, I wished Kakarot and I had never _met._ I wished I could force him to stay with me; but at the same time, I never wanted to see him again.

What had I done so wrong that I deserved such anger thrown at me? Was it payback for all the sins I'd committed in my youth? Why did Kakarot wait until now to direct such a disturbing amount of abhorrence at me? We'd gotten along pretty well in the near-century I'd known him. Why did he suddenly hate me so much?

I felt my ki dropping fast as I thought of such things and I nearly fell out of the sky under the weight of hurt and indecision I carried.

I landed unsteadily at the door of Capsule Corp and involuntarily put a hand to my temple to ease the sudden dizziness that washed over me.

I slid the door open and stepped inside, toeing off my boots and walking across the threshold to the living room. I halted as I heard someone talking; I leaned against the doorway, I listened hard. Usually I didn't eavesdrop, but there was something about the quiet urgency of the voice that unnerved me.

It was the woman Bulma, talking on the phone. With who, I didn't know, but she sounded anxious. It took me a moment to realize the conversation was about me.

"….strangest thing," the woman was saying, "I never would have guessed Vegeta was pregnant."

My breath hitched; whoever she was talking to knew of my condition. I felt self-conscious suddenly; something that was rare for me, who else knew? Who else had she told?

Bulma listened as the person on the phone talked, then responded to whatever had been asked.

"No, it's only been about three weeks," she listened again and shook her head against the receiver, "No, he's not showing yet…. In fact, looking at him I wouldn't have been able to tell."

She paused again. Then she sighed dejectedly.

"Yeah, it's pretty likely, given the data." She muttered. I held my breath, what was likely?

"…I'd give him less than a 50% chance of carrying to term," she went on, looking sad, "I know; I couldn't tell him. He was already so upset, I…. I couldn't shove that on him too."

I couldn't listen anymore. I sank to the floor against the wall and hung my head miserably. Fifty percent. There was_ less _than a fifty percent chance of my child surviving this; which meant there was a _more_ than fifty percent chance of it dying. Or maybe she meant _I _had a fifty percent chance of dying. Which was worse?

Was it even worth keeping the baby if it was so likely to be all for nothing?

For the first time, I felt a fierce surge of protectiveness towards the tiny spark of life growing in me. For the first time, I realized that I didn't want to lose it. I passed a hand over my abdomen tentatively, the sensation strange, but somehow comforting. Beneath my fingers, a small, almost unperceivable glow of ki not my own pulsed, and joy and sorrow so powerful that it hurt sliced through me. This tiny ki, the life it spoke of, belonged to me, and I realized I would do anything to protect it.

I sat that way for a long while, thinking about everything and nothing at once.

I heard the click of the phone being hung up and the sound of muted footsteps. The woman walked through the doorway, stopping with one foot slightly raised as she passed me.

"Vegeta? Were you… listening in?" she sounded slightly insulted, slightly worried.

I nodded numbly, not moving my hand from where it rested on my stomach. I didn't have the energy to lie to her.

Bulma hesitated, "I'm sorry," she said carefully, kneeling beside me and placing a hand on my shoulder.

I swallowed the words of distress and fear that rose in my throat.

"Kakarot yelled at me," I mumbled.

"He did?" Bulma said, "Was he upset about -?"

I shook my head, "He thought I was making it up," I sighed.

There was a moment of silence.

"Yamcha sends his concern," she went on.

_Oh, that's who she was talking to._

"Why does he care?" I growled, crossing my arms defensively over my waist.

"It's alright, Vegeta. He understands."

I snorted disbelievingly, that idiot didn't understand a thing.

Bulma looked reproachful, "If it were me, I'd be happy that anyone showed enough concern to try to understand what I was going through."

"But he doesn't understand," I muttered, "None of you understand."

"We're trying to," Bulma said gently, "But sometimes you have a hard time letting people in. I think it's a Saiyan thing, or maybe a prince thing, but you find people hard to trust."

I looked at her uncertainly; then I surprised myself by saying what I did next.

"I don't want to be alone,"

Bulma seemed a bit surprised too, and she looked into my eyes for a long moment before hugging me gently.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I asked uncomfortably.

"What?" she pulled away, tilting her head to the side.

"Why do you keep hugging me?"

She blinked, "Do you want me to stop?"

"No, no," I said quickly, startling myself again, _damn hormones,_ "Just, why?"

"I don't know; it just seems like the right thing to do. When I was pregnant with Trunks, people kept hugging me when I was unhappy. I think it's kind of like instinct."

I nodded distractedly; that made sense. Though humans were more creatures of tradition than instinct, unlike Saiyans, they still retained some of their simpler impulses. I wished I could say the same of Kakarot. Maybe if he were raised on Vegeta-sei he would have understood that I wasn't lying, he would have been able to sense what I did and understand body language. Or maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he'd still hate me.

"Vegeta," Bulma hesitated before continuing, "You didn't answer me before. Are you… going to keep the baby?"

I didn't miss a beat, "Yes," the fierceness of the decision made it into my voice, "I am."

Bulma's eyebrows furrowed a little.

"It's not going to be easy," she said carefully, "You'll have to be really strong to get through it."

I couldn't help myself, I smirked grimly.

"Did you forget to whom you were speaking?"

Bulma looked at me; then she laughed.

"Yeah, if anyone can handle this, you can."

I closed my eyes with a small sigh, "Not alone,"

Not for the first time that day, I wished Kakarot were here. That he understood. That he cared about me at all. I wished he'd been the one to hug me, to comfort me, to tell me I was strong enough to get through this.

Bulma was still watching me with a knowing look in her eyes.

"You're thinking about Goku, aren't you?"

I nodded absently.

"Would you….?" she paused and began again, "Would you rather be with him than with me?"

"It doesn't matter either way," I said hastily, "He hates me."

"He doesn't _hate_ you," Bulma admonished.

"Yes he does," I sighed, "But…. I don't know. It's just… it's how it's supposed to be, he's _supposed_ to be here."

I was going to add, _he's supposed to take care of me,_ but I didn't.

"Do you love him?" Bulma asked dully.

I blinked rapidly, where had _that_ come from?

"I… I …. What?" I stammered. _Love?_ _What does that have to do with -?_

Bulma didn't relent in her gaze fixed on me.

"It's not a hard question, Vegeta. Do. You. Love. Him?"

"N-no," I stuttered nervously, "I don't… don't know what love is."

"Don't you?" she snapped. Obviously that wasn't what she wanted to hear.

I looked at her warily, what _did_ she want to hear? What did I say wrong? I wanted to hit something. Since _when_ was this anyone's business?

Something clunked into place in my head.

_Oh. _I realized, _She wanted me to say I loved _her.

…_Do I?_ With all the scrambled hormones in my body and the jumble of thoughts in my head, it was hard to tell what I thought, or what I felt.

"Sorry, Bulma." I sighed, "I just… I don't know."

Bulma's eyes widened.

"I think it might just be a mood swing, but that may be the first time you've called me by my name. I wasn't even sure you knew what it was."

I started to say something, but then I realized she was right. Somewhere in the depths of my mind I fretted, _is this going to be a permanent thing?_

The anxiety must have shown in my eyes, because Bulma said soothingly,

"It's okay, it's just hormones. I was the same way when I got pregnant."

Despite myself, I felt a small rush of gratitude. At least _someone_ could relate.

_Maybe I don't need Kakarot,_ I thought, _maybe I'll be fine with just the woman._

But no matter how many times I thought it, I knew it was a lie.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 7

I had a strange dream that night. I dreamt I was walking on a wire, balanced a hundred or so feet above the ground, with barely any space to put one foot in front of the other; and somehow I knew I wouldn't be able to catch myself if I fell. I was carrying an egg on a spoon clenched between my teeth, and I was aware somewhere in the back of my head that I couldn't let it fall, that it was my duty to protect it. All around me were faceless people, trying to make me lose my balance or drop the egg, I couldn't yell at them to go away because then I'd let go of the spoon in my mouth, I couldn't blast them or fly away from them because I had no ki. I felt helpless, defenseless, and like something was missing… or someone.

I woke up groggily, and was surprised that I could recall the dream in vivid detail. _What does it mean?_ I snorted; it was just a dumb dream. But then why did it seem so important?

I sat up and rubbed my eyes tiredly, it was almost two a.m.; the woman was sleeping soundly next to me. Usually I would have looked at her and seen the human woman that took me into her home, the human woman that had borne and reared my son. Now, for some reason, I saw her in a different light. The only way I could define it was a _friend_; nothing more, and nothing less. She was a confidant, almost like a sister. It was a strange notion, but it remained in my head.

I lay back down and looked at the ceiling, contemplating the things that had been too complicated to think about before. So. I was pregnant. I was _really_ pregnant. How? I wasn't the expert in human or Saiyan anatomy, but as far as I knew, males did _not_ have the parts necessary to bear children. I'd heard about the Saiyan men that could conceive and get pregnant, but I couldn't remember if any of those old tales had happy endings. I'd heard they could _carry_ children, but… I bit my lip, if they _were_ able to carry to term, how exactly did they….?

Suddenly the decision to see this thing through seemed dangerous and even a little reckless. I didn't know anything about Saiyan pregnancy, and therefore neither did anyone else. How long did it take? What if something went wrong? For all I knew…. I shook off the 'what if's' and tried to think of something more pleasant. In response to my stressing, my ki had dropped again, so I lay still, trying to calm my mind and raise it again.

Almost immediately, the tiny ki I'd felt before surfaced and I smiled to myself, where no one else could see. I couldn't explain it, but I felt better just knowing that I wasn't alone, I'd never be alone. And with that thought, I drifted back to sleep.

X

I woke again in the morning – or at least when it was a decent hour of the morning – to the smell of cooking food. Bulma was still sleeping next to me, so her parents must have been here. I was tempted to just roll over and go back to sleep, but then I realized I was actually _hungry._ After a week of throwing up in the morning and feeling nauseous all the time, I actually wanted to eat something. Or a lot of things. And I mean a _lot._

I took a seat at the table and watched the woman's mother, Bunny Briefs; who drove me insane usually, I could really only stand her because she fed me, and – though it's a bit vain to admit – because she was constantly stroking my ego with an endless stream of compliments.

"Why, hello Vegeta, dear," she cooed upon passing me, "Long time no see, you're looking especially handsome today,"

See what I mean?

"Something's different though," she went on, beaming at me with her eyes still closed – how did she _see_ when she did that? – and stopping in her bustling to chat, "Did you do something with your hair?"

I shook my head quickly, "A Saiyan's hair never changes," I don't know why I was actually _talking_ to her, but I'd been surprising myself a lot lately.

"New clothes?" She prattled on, and suddenly I felt a little uneasy; could she tell I was pregnant just by looking? Could everyone?

She tilted her head a little then, her blonde curls bouncing with the movement, "See, now you look like you usually do, sweetie. Still handsome, of course, but –"

I relaxed a little, putting my mind to rest.

"I think I looked different because I was smiling, woman." I said slowly.

She put a hand up to her mouth with a little gasp that turned her pink lips into a perfect O, "You're _right!_" then she giggled, "Well, you should do it more often, honey, it really lights up your face."

I indulged her in a quick grin, "Maybe I will,"

The woman giggled again and patted me on the head – much to my annoyance, though I refused to show it while I was in a good mood, "Oh, you're just the cutest thing. Well, I've got to go flip the pancakes now, cutie, how many do you want?"

I leaned back in my chair, loosening my shoulders a little, "The usual, woman."

"Okey-dokie! A dozen pancakes coming right up!" Bunny chirped, bustling away.

I wondered absently why she was always so cheerful. Didn't she worry about _anything, ever?_ What was she like when she was mad, or sad, or guilty? Did she even _have_ any other emotions besides clueless happiness? I mused almost wistfully about what it would be like to live without a care; I wondered if I'd be able to stand it if I did. Probably not, I'd be too bored.

Bulma strode into the room, yawning, wearing slippers and tying the strings of her fuzzy pink robe around her waist. Her eyes fell on me and she blinked.

"You're up early."

I let a smirk flicker across my mouth, "I'm being catered to,"

She sat down in a chair, not quite next to me, but close enough to talk without raising her voice. I'd snapped at her one too many times for crowding my personal space, so I guess she knew and respected my boundaries by now.

The blonde woman walked – no, it was more like a shuffle – back over to me and laid a heaping plate of pancakes and sausage on the table. I raised an eyebrow at Bulma.

"I don't have to serve you like a slave, and you don't have to give me _that_ look when someone _does,_" the blue-haired woman grumbled.

"Why not?" I grinned, attacking the food and chewing with exaggerated gusto.

"Well, you're certainly in a good mood,"

"And why shouldn't I be?" I said between bites.

Bulma gave me a hard look for a moment; then broke into a smile.

"Never mind," She said evasively.

I stopped mid-chew and blinked at her, the smile sliding off my face when I realized what she was implying.

_Damn mood swings, can't I genuinely be happy without resorting to stupid hormones?_

Sighing, I continued eating with less enthusiasm.

Bulma's mother returned with a noticeably smaller plate of pancakes which she placed in front of her daughter.

"Eat up, sweetie. Most important meal of the day," she babbled.

Bulma nodded and started cutting one of her pancakes, still watching me closely.

"What?" I snapped.

She looked offended, "Just because you've got estrogen and testosterone mingling however awkwardly in your veins right now does _not_ mean you have to be a jerk."

I snorted, "I thought I was always a jerk,"

"No, a second ago you were actually being pleasant."

I bent my fork in half accidentally in my frustration.

"I c – I can't exactly help it!" I stammered angrily.

"Yes you can, I went through the _exact _same thing, remember?" Bulma shot back.

"Oh my," Bunny chirruped, "Why the argument, you two?"

"You are by _no means_ the boss of me, _woman,_" I snarled.

"Now you sound like a teenager!" Bulma shouted, "Even if you _are _a pregnant alien prince, it doesn't mean you _have_ to act like a freak!"

She let that hang in the air.

I looked at her, a snarl still grafted on my face when all I wanted to do right then was cry.

"Vegeta?" Bulma's mother asked, sounding concerned though in her usual, chirpy voice, "What's she talking about, sweetie?"

Bulma rolled her eyes dramatically and opened her mouth to speak. I tried to give her the hint to just shut up, but she pushed on heedlessly.

"Oh, Vegeta, you aren't going to be able to hide it forever! You should tell people now while they still have time to think about it!"

I looked from one woman to the other, seeing anger and puzzlement and feeling my own confusion rise with the tears forming in my eyes. _Stupid fucking tear ducts!_

I hid my face in my hands, unable to look at them. Why couldn't I just go back to three weeks ago, when my biggest fear was being outshone by Kakarot? Or even back to last week, when all I worried about was whether I would give away the fact that Kakarot and I had had sex one time?

I heard hurried footsteps and looked up to see Trunks coming down the stairs.

"I heard shouting," he said, "What happened?"

"N-nothing, Trunks," I said quickly, trying to wipe my wet eyes without being too obvious.

Bulma glared at me, "Coward, why not tell them both while you've got them in one place?"

I looked at her pleadingly, falling into a flashback of when Kakarot had yelled at me yesterday. _Don't you start hating me too!_

Bulma tilted her head, and I could read the message in her gaze. _I'm only doing this for your own good._

I blinked slowly to show I understood and looked at Bunny and Trunks…. my family, in blood and deed….. I decided to trust Bulma.

"I…. I'm pregnant," I said carefully. Somehow it got easier to say the more times I admitted it.

Trunks looked perplexed, "But… Dad… you're a guy."

"I know," I nodded, "I'm not sure how... I just…. I know it's true."

_Please, gods don't tell me he doesn't believe me either!_

The boy tipped his lavender-haired head to one side in confusion; then he walked up to me slowly and placed a hand on my abdomen. I flinched, but didn't reprimand him. He got a look of intense concentration on his face; then he looked up at me with wide, blue eyes.

"I can feel it," he said in wonder, "It's like a little energy dot,"

I furrowed my eyebrows; that was an interesting, yet _fitting_, way to put it.

Bunny broke into a smile without warning, "You mean I'm going to have another grandchild?"

I looked at her steadily, "Not yours by blood," I said slowly, "Kakarot is the father."

Trunks winced, "Is that why Goku was so angry when I saw him last?"

"When did you see him?" Bulma asked quickly.

"About a week ago, before I went to grandma and grandpa's house," the child replied without moving his hand from my waist. He seemed fascinated by the tiny spark of ki nestled there; at least he wasn't mad.

Bulma looked at me meaningfully, but I'd realized as well. What Trunks said meant Kakarot was already angry, before I tried to tell him of my condition. Why? Did it have anything to do with me at all? Or was he just… taking it out on me?

"Does this mean I'm going to have a baby brother?" Trunks asked me, smiling brightly.

"Half-brother," I corrected.

"Or sister," Bulma added.

"Oh, Vegeta, that's wonderful, honey!" Bunny said happily, without a care in the world.

I looked away; there was still a high chance that either the child or I wouldn't survive; Bulma had said so herself. I wasn't entirely sure in what way she had meant, but I was dead-scared of it.

X

If I thought the wire and egg dream was unnerving, I was completely unprepared for the dreams that I had over the following week.

They almost always involved small, fluffy baby animals; puppies, kittens, rabbits, and the like. I would be shown by a tall stranger with no face to a pen or room occupied by several of the baby animals, and I would be told to look after them and be sure no harm came to them. The stranger never gave instructions for their care or told me for how long, only that it was all _my _responsibility. So I would sit among the little defenseless critters and attempt to comfort them – for they almost always seemed scared of something; of _me –_ and try to take care of them, though having no idea how or why.

Then one of two things would happen, and I'm not sure which I thought was worse. Either the stranger would come back and take the animals away from me; handling them roughly and ignoring my protests and pleas…. Or I would be holding one of the infant creatures, feeding it from a bottle or just holding it to sooth it, when my strength would get the better of my and I'd accidentally hurt or kill it.

I have no idea why but the dreams disturbed me greatly. I would always wake up in a cold sweat with a shout on my lips, either to plead for the animals not to be taken away, or to apologize for not completing the task I was given.

At first I tried to figure out what they meant, but I was stumped. Why did I keep having dreams about fluffy kittens and puppies? It was just weird. Then, when I couldn't take it anymore, I told Bulma about the dreams; both the animal dreams and the egg dream from before.

She sat up in bed, looking at me for a long time.

"That's kind of normal," she surprised me by saying, "It's normal to have strange dreams when you're pregnant. And I think I can explain what they mean. The little animals and the egg represent the blastocyst –"

"The _what_?" I asked blankly. _Scientific gibberish, that's what._

She rolled her eyes, "You know, for a battle tactician you can be really slow sometimes."

I was about to scowl, but she explained.

"A blastocyst is like…. a cluster of cells. That's basically the form the baby is taking right now. It's not even this big yet," she held up two fingers less than half an inch apart.

My hand drifted to my abdomen on its own accord, _so small, so defenseless…._ I shook off the thought impatiently.

"The wire, the spoon, the animals' fear of you and the task of looking after them probably represent the difficulties you'll have to face to get through this." she went on, "The strange people, hurting and killing the animals, and the possibility of falling or dropping the egg represent what you're afraid will happen. I'm actually a little jealous," she added with a smirk.

"Why?" I snapped. What was there to be jealous about?

"Well, when I was pregnant I didn't get such deep, legit dreams,"

"What did you dream about?" I asked purely out of curiosity.

She hesitated; then she giggled, "Mostly about swimming in pools of ice cream or something."

I had to laugh at that.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 8

One thing that stood out to me in the passing month was the absence of Kakarot. I didn't see him _at all_ for weeks, I didn't hear from him, he was just…. gone.

I was taking a shower on a day that I remember particularly clearly, trying to wash away the stress and worry with the scalding water pounding on my back, when I noticed something. I was running soap-slicked hands down from my shoulders and chest, scrubbing my skin clean; and when I reached my midsection I faltered, my breath catching in my throat. The chiseled abdominal muscles seemed…_ softer,_ less defined, and the area of my belly was just slightly rounded. I probably wouldn't have noticed it by looking, but it just… _felt_ different.

I stood there for a long time, letting my eyes flutter closed as I explored the area, re-learning my own flesh, feeling the spark of ki inside me respond to my touch. I trembled as a powerful surge of pride swept over me.

"Oh, Kakarot," I moaned softly, "I wish you could see this, I wish you were _here._"

X

I lay in bed as night fell, caressing the gently curved surface of my abdomen absently and murmuring to the child within softly in Saiyan. I knew it was only a month old and obviously it couldn't hear me, but speaking to it calmed me somehow, and it sent a pleasant warmth tingling through my body.

The door opened quietly and I looked up; the woman leaned against the doorframe with a wistful smile.

"What are you doing?" she asked teasingly.

I blushed embarrassedly, pulling my shirt back down and lying back.

"….it's a Saiyan lullaby," I mumbled, "Father used to sing it to my brother and me."

She laughed lightly, and it took me a second to realize it wasn't directed _at_ me. I smiled as well.

She slid onto the bed next to me, and usually I would have rolled over and looked away, but I stayed where I was.

"It's just… it's a lot to take in," I sighed, "I almost can't wrap my head around it."

She seemed to understand what I meant because she nodded.

To my surprise, I felt tears in my eyes _again_. I decided to stop fighting it and just let them fall.

"Something happened today?" she guessed.

I nodded, my hand moving to my stomach again. Hers joined mine after a while, smoothing it over the area tentatively, as if I'd push it away.

She gasped shakily, "I can feel it now, just a little," she whispered, and I was startled to see sorrow in her eyes. It was as if she was hoping to have been wrong in her calculations and this just made it more real.

"I… woman, I-I'm sorry," I confessed, "I never meant for any of this to happen but… I…" I swallowed, "I don't regret it."

"I know," she said quietly, "It's alright. It… it was never real between us. You never really wanted me."

"T-that's not –" I began.

"Vegeta, it's okay. I understand, really." Her hand retreated slowly and she lay down. She was asleep before I could think of a reply, but I lay awake for a long time thinking anyway.

X

A few days later I found a secluded cliff to train, feeling like I needed to get out and _do_ something. The fresh air rejuvenated my lungs, and the exercise – though less rigorous than I usually would have done – stretched out my muscles and made me feel new and alive.

I was in midair, in the middle of a kata when my ki abandoned me. I had no warning, nothing, before it just…_ flickered out._ I fell with a yell of shock, hitting the ground hard and crumpling to my side.

_What the hell is going on?_ I thought frantically, reaching for the energy that just _wasn't there._

"H-help…" I croaked, unable to stand, unable to think. My eyes kept trying to close, and my vision was blurring; I caught a flash of orange out of the corner of my vision before I gave in and passed out.

X

Slowly, I opened my eyes; my head was pounding. I looked around foggily. I was lying on a couch, but it wasn't mine. I sat bolt upright.

This was Kakarot's house. What was I doing here? I glanced at myself and saw that someone had laid a blanket over me. I threw it off and sat up straighter; at least my ki had returned somewhat, but it was still a bit… wobbly.

Then I realized I wasn't alone. Kakarot was sitting in a chair across from me, looking into the distance. It took me a moment to notice that he had headphones on; I could hear the backbeat of the music from here. It seemed rather out of character for him, and I took a moment to think about the fact that – off the battlefield – I knew nearly nothing about Kakarot.

His gaze drifted and fell on me; he jumped and whipped the headphones off.

"Y-you're awake!" he seemed startled, but not necessarily angry. I narrowed my eyes; I could never predict what he was going to do. He caught his breath and added, "How do you feel?"

I leaned back with an explosive sigh, "You know; your mood swings are worse than _mine_."

I think he might have smiled, _might,_ but it was hard to tell.

"Why exactly am I in your house, Kakarot?" I asked.

"Because…." He hesitated, obviously struggling with what he was going to say, "You needed my help; I had to –"

"Since when do you care?" I snapped.

He looked at me, a little bit sad, a little bit…. something else….

"Since…" he began.

"Where's your woman?" I interrupted, "Wouldn't she usually be shrieking at me right now?"

Kakarot averted his gaze slowly, "ChiChi and I talked last night, while you were unconscious," he said carefully, still not meeting my eye.

"…And?" I muttered half-heartedly.

"And we decided to finalize a divorce,"

My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets; they opened so fast, and so wide.

"W-what?" I stammered, "Why?"

"I realized what was more important," he sighed, and then he finally looked at me. There was so much turmoil in his eyes that it made my heart throb in pity, "I realized I was going to be a father…. again…."

My eyes widened – if it was even possible – even more.

"You mean…?" I gasped.

He still looked uncertain, even reluctant, but there was a spark of conviction in his gaze just the same. A small one, but still...

I stared at him, tears welling up in my eyes for the zillionth time.

"Kakarot," I said thickly, "T-thank you,"

He hesitated a long time before responding flatly, "No problem, Vegeta."

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 9

"W-when did you realize I wasn't lying?" I asked as I leaned forward on the couch, struggling to meet Kakarot's gaze, while he obviously struggled to avoid mine. It was still the crack of dawn, but I was wide awake somehow.

He bit his thumb nail distractedly, "About seven hours ago when your ki went all wobbly, and I had to leave a meeting at court to IT over and save your ass."

"You were at court? Why?" I asked.

His eyes snapped to mine, "I got a job there, Vegeta, what do you think?" he said sarcastically, "No, I was there to file a divorce with ChiChi, but obviously I was interrupted."

My shoulders slumped. He was still mad at me. Why was he still mad at me? I was telling the truth!

Kakarot's gaze drifted a little and he crossed one leg over the other, "ChiChi said she'd been planning to get a divorce for a long time now. I had no argument; things were getting kind of stale between us to be honest. We talked about it for a long time, we went to court to ask for advice, and last night the final stake was driven in when I showed up with _you_ and tried to explain your condition. The divorce will be finalized in a few weeks."

He took a moment to compose himself, obviously still conflicted over the issue.

"When I left court and teleported to where you were, I sensed another ki signature, one I didn't recognize, and it was coming from you," he glanced at me quickly before looking away, "Your unstable ki must have dipped low enough for me to be able to pick it up."

I laid a hand over my midsection protectively. Usually I felt safe around Kakarot, around his dependable power and strength; but right now I felt wary, as if he'd lash out at me randomly.

He was silent for a moment.

"How long?" he asked flatly.

"What?"

"How long has it been?" he flipped an errant bang out of his face carelessly and fixed his coal eyes on me.

I bit my tongue hard to keep the million sharp retorts I had in mind inside.

"A little less than two months," I said quietly, trying to mimic his effortless tone.

Said coal eyes narrowed a little bit, "That sounds right," he nodded slowly, "I remember, but…"

But…? I met his stare perplexedly.

"….Never mind,"

"No, Kakarot, what were you going to say?"

He tilted his head to one side, "ChiChi started showing around week three with Gohan, and you _barely_ are now," he said tightly.

Would it kill him to put a little emotion in his voice?

I blinked once, twice, thinking about what he said.

"What are you implying?" I asked carefully.

He closed his eyes for a moment, as if the whole situation was just overwhelming him. Understandable, I guess.

"Maybe," he said calculatingly; I was surprised by his insight; wasn't he usually so clueless? "Maybe… p-pregnancy is _longer_ for Saiyans than it is for humans."

I noticed the slight stutter and smirked grimly, _well, at least he's unnerved like I was._

Then I realized what he said and I winced, _this last month has seemed like an eternity. _How_ long is human pregnancy again?_

"I wouldn't know," I muttered, "I don't know a thing about either kind,"

"Well then," he said bluntly, standing up, "You're in luck, because I at least know about human pregnancy – so do ChiChi and Bulma, obviously – both of them made me sit through their many complaints and constant griping and ultrasounds –"

"Ultra-whats?" I stammered, interrupting him.

He set his teeth in annoyance. I wished he wasn't still being so hostile; I still had feelings for him – though I wasn't about to _say_ that – and, instinctual or not, I still wanted to be with him.

"Bulma hasn't done that yet?" he asked stonily.

I blinked quickly, "N-no, what is it?"

I thought about how bizarre it was that Kakarot knew something scientific that I didn't. Especially something like this.

"Just a way of examining the fetus while it's still in the womb," he grit out, as if the words tasted bitter.

I stood up as well, a little unsteady on my feet after my fall earlier.

"I'll talk to Bulma about this," he said, almost to himself, "After all, that's _my_ child too."

Jeez, he said it like it was a parasite or something.

"Kakarot," I said imploringly, "Why are you so mad at me? Why are you so against this?"

"Hn, I thought of _all_ people, _you'd_ be," he muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He glared at me piercingly.

"It's a commitment, Vegeta, one I thought you wouldn't be interested in. It's also a _major_ ordeal. I only had to witness it once, and that was bad enough. ChiChi had to go through it _twice._ I can't even imagine that."

I looked at him, puzzled, "What do you mean?" I felt like I kept using the same four words in different combinations over and over…. Was this what it was like to not have a clue?

"Didn't anyone tell you?" he spat, then he chuckled without humor, looking away again, "Of course Bulma didn't. She gets her scattered brain from her mother. And obviously you wouldn't _know._ You weren't there when Bulma was pregnant with Trunks."

I just blinked, unsure how to respond.

"Ask any woman on the face of the Earth; or any planet for that matter," Kakarot went on, still refusing to look at me, "Being pregnant is _not_ a walk in the park."

I narrowed my eyes, "I know that," I began.

"Do you?" he snapped, "You're a month and a half in and you know everything there is to know?"

I looked at him with my mouth slightly open, scrambling for a retort. I remembered my confusion with the mood swings, the morning sickness and the dreams. I decided not to reply and just let him continue.

Kakarot shook his head slowly; there was a glint in his eyes that I didn't particularly like.

"First of all," he said fluidly, "There are the hormones. Believe me, that's bad enough as it is. ChiChi is high strung by nature, but when she was pregnant it was like she was a demon with black hair. And with you there'd also be the _male_ hormones mixed in, and I can't even _imagine_ what kind of chaos that'd cause." He paused to gauge my reaction, I did my best not to give him one; I knew all of this, "Then there's the morning sickness,"

"I know –" I began heatedly.

"I'm not finished," he interrupted, "You think it's bad now? Just wait until nearly everything you smell and every bit of food you look at makes you want to hurl. With your sensitive Saiyan nose, it shouldn't take long. You wouldn't believe how many times I got up at the crack of dawn to sit with ChiChi while she puked her guts up. And why? Because she asked me to. How many times has _Bulma_ done that for you?"

Did I detect a hint of…. _Jealousy?_

"Then there's the cravings," he went on, he gave a short laugh, more like an exhalation than anything else, "ChiChi demanded the craziest things; smoked salmon with barbeque sauce, cottage cheese with parmesan; she put ranch on _everything._ I assume it'll be even crazier for you, since you're Saiyan and all.

"And that's all before she got big. Then she started complaining that her back hurt and the baby was kicking her ribs out. She was hungry _all the time_ and achy and uncomfortable." He gave me a look that was truly evil. I hoped to never see it on his face again, "And then there's childbirth. Just the word itself recalls horrors or blood, sweat and screaming. They say there's absolutely _nothing_ more painful than giving birth. That's why all the girls say we're lucky to be male, you know. Well…" he gave me that _look _again, "…Most of us."

I felt a chill slither down my spine.

"And after that, there's the midnight crying and the feeding and the diapers and the sleep-deprivation. The terrible twos. The teenage years. Trust me, it's a nightmare." He looked like he was enjoying himself, tormenting me with the knowledge.

"But –" I began, "With your sons, you seem so happy."

"Well I wasn't there for most of Goten's childhood, and you didn't even _know_ me when Gohan was little."

"So then…. You regret it?" I asked carefully, "You regret having children?"

He looked at me for a moment, his expression almost wistful, "No. I don't regret it. Goten and Gohan are my whole world, I love them to pieces and I'd do anything for them."

"But…" I began, understanding now, "You don't want another."

He tsked and tossed his hair out of his face again, "I'm tied down again. And this time it's _you_ tying me down. I never thought I'd see the day."

"Then…you…." I swallowed hard, "Y-you don't want me to keep it?"

His eyebrows furrowed a little, "That's your decision to make, Vegeta. But you shouldn't make it unless you've got all the facts. Not some half-explanation of Bulma's. I'll stay with you until it's born, because that's my responsibility, if you do keep it. But no longer, and for no other reason." I saw the firmness of his gaze, he wasn't about to change his mind.

So. Kakarot really didn't have feelings for me. He was only staying because it was his commitment. One I forced on him apparently. His anger at me made sense now.

Strangely, the realization didn't make me angry, offended, or even particularly sad. I felt numb, like someone had reached in and tore out my nervous system.

"Well," I said slowly, carefully, tasting each word of the final decision, "I'm going to keep it. No matter what you say. I've worked too hard to turn back now," I glanced up at him once, just once, "You don't have to stay if you don't want to. I won't _tie you down._ I've got the woman's help; that should be more than enough."

He looked irritated, or maybe affronted, it was hard to tell, "Even if you think I don't have an ounce of pride in me – maybe I don't, maybe I don't_want_ to – I at least have a sense of duty. You've taken just about everything from me; I won't let you take that too."

I almost bit my tongue off.

I stared for a long time, my ire rising with every second, then I exploded angrily, "I'm sorry, _who's_ taken _what_ from you?" I shouted, "I haven't taken a damn thing from you! If anything _you_ took everything from _me!_ My freedom, my dignity, my body…! I didn't ask for this, I didn't even_consider_ it! But I'm seeing it through, whether I like it or not! I doubt I'd be able to say the same of _you_ if you were in _my_ position, you coward! So I'll say it," I took a deep breath and said steadily, "I'm pregnant," he winced slightly, but I pressed on, "And I'm proud. I'm proud of myself, I'm proud of my decision and I'm proud of my son," I clasped my hands over my waist and added, "Or daughter. And you can just go to hell if you think you're going to take that away!"

I think for the first time since I'd known him, Kakarot didn't just look angry, he looked _murderous._

"I've been to Hell," he reminded me icily, "So have you. Where do you think the kid will go?"

"What?" I probably should have stayed mad, but he caught me off guard.

"King Kai said there wasn't a _single_ Saiyan besides me and the half-Saiyans that went up above. They were all sent to Hell, Vegeta. Do you want to put your child through that?" his voice was quiet, but it was sharp like a knife.

I started to respond, but then I realized we were just going in circles here, "Look, do you want to leave or not? Make up your mind, Kakarot, stay or go."

"This is my house," he pointed out.

"Not the point," I snapped, "Are you going to make me go through this alone? Because I will, if you decide to back out."

He just looked at me, and I looked back, for a long time. I started counting the seconds after a while, waiting for him to say 'yes' and leave.

"I'll stay," he said almost too softly for me to hear, "But not for you, Vegeta. I'll stay for the child. Once it's born, I'm leaving."

I could have argued, but I remembered his explanations and warnings. He had something to offer: knowledge; though I probably would never have admitted to Kakarot having half a brain before this mess started.

His strength, however, could either prove as a major boon, or a deadly threat.

"Fine," I said shortly, the distrust was so thick in the air I could almost taste it, "You want in? Welcome aboard."

I hoped to the gods that I hadn't just made a huge mistake.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 10

I shivered as Bulma spread cold gel over my bare stomach muscles. I was half-sitting on another of her stupid white medical tables, but this time I wasn't alone with her. Kakarot sat rather awkwardly in a chair in the corner. He'd demanded that Bulma perform an ultrasound at once, as soon as he'd teleported me back to Capsule Corp. Anyone else would have said he was concerned, but I saw nothing but irritation at the woman's insufficient methods. I sighed as the woman withdrew for a moment. I hated that Kakarot was so angry all the time; most of the time his anger didn't even seem to be directed at me, but at the world, or at random passerby, or even at himself.

What had happened in his life to make him so coarse? What had gone wrong to upset that gentle, happy character I'd known before? Surely all that hostility couldn't have stemmed from me being pregnant, could it?

I flinched as the woman touched something metal to the gel-slicked skin of my belly. It was almost like one of the scanners I'd seen used at the human supermarkets. I glanced at the woman, then at the screen she'd set up a few feet away from me, a surge of unease meandering through me.

"Watch the screen," she said gently.

I inclined my head in a short nod, still uneasy about the whole thing. I was aware that Kakarot had stood and was lingering nearby; I could literally feel his eyes on me.

I held my breath as the monitor flickered and an image appeared on the screen. I tilted my head in confusion; it was just a blur of gray and black shadows, it looked like an abstract painting.

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" I muttered.

"Look," Bulma said patiently, gesturing with a finger at the screen, "This is a picture of the inside of you," she pointed at the upper part of the image, "See? There's the bottom of your ribs, and I assume that… below that is the womb."

I furrowed my eyebrows; Kakarot had used that word too. I wasn't entirely sure if I understood it, only the context in which it had been used. _Stupid human language is so limited._

"It's strange," Bulma went on, almost to herself, "It's not like any other projections I've seen. I guess that's to be expected, but…" she bit her lip thoughtfully, "It just seems to be organized differently or something."

"Well obviously, woman, I'm Saiyan," I grumbled.

"No, that's not it." she said distractedly, "I think it's because you're male. What I don't understand is _how_ it's possible. There doesn't seem to be a uterus, something like it, yes, but… what's supporting the embryo?"

I rolled my eyes, the woman never explained the constant changes in her vocabulary and definitions, but I had a basic idea what she meant.

"Doesn't need it," I almost didn't hear Kakarot speak; I turned and looked at him. He was watching the screen with rapt, if rigid, attention.

"What?" Bulma asked, "What do you mean, Goku?"

"Vegeta's right," he nodded at me without meeting my eye, "It's probably different because he's Saiyan; a Saiyan embryo can most likely survive on different circumstances than a human one."

That was probably the longest sentence he'd spoken in over five hours.

"Maybe you're right," Bulma muttered, seeming startled by Kakarot's insight, like I'd been, "But something's been confusing me since day one of this whole thing: how was it even possible for him to conceive in the first place?"

They both looked at me expectantly.

"Why are you looking at me?" I snapped, "I have no idea."

Utter silence fell and I looked back at the screen.

"What is that?" I asked eventually, pointing at a certain portion of the image.

Bulma's blue eyes drifted down to me.

"That's the baby," she said, "Or… what will become the baby."

I tensed and looked back at the monitor. _So, this is my child._ It didn't look particularly like a child at all; more like a little blob in the corner of the screen. But yes, I could make out what could have been a head, a leg, the beginning of a tail or spine…. With a little imagination, that is.

I reached out and placed a hand on the screen, over the little blob in the corner. There was something about seeing it, for the first time, putting an image to what I was told and what I knew deep down, that struck me like a punch. The wobbly embryo was quivering ever so slightly, as though cold or afraid, though I knew that wasn't the case.

_I promise, I'll protect you,_ I thought with conviction, curling the outstretched hand into a fist and bringing it back to my lap.

"Can you…" I cleared my throat and started again, "Can you tell me more?"

I wanted to ask a million questions. Was it a boy or a girl? Was it healthy? Was anything wrong? Was _I_ doing anything wrong to affect it? …But I held my tongue.

"It's kind of hard to tell at this early stage," Bulma said slowly, watching me as if sensing my agitation, "But other than a few unexplained things, everything seems normal enough."

I breathed a small sigh of relief. Then I felt Kakarot's burning gaze on me again and I whipped around to look at him.

"Do you have to do that?" I growled sharply.

He blinked slowly, "Do what?"

I swallowed my frustrated retorts and snapped, "Glare at me all the time! I didn't _do_ anything, okay?"

He almost looked apologetic for a moment, "…It's nothing."

I crossed my arms over my bare chest, irritated.

Bulma looked at me, then at Kakarot, then back.

"Why do you guys keep _arguing_?"

"Ask _him_," I muttered, "I have absolutely no idea why he's so angry."

Kakarot remained silent for a moment, his dark bangs shadowing his face so I couldn't see his expression.

"I don't have to tell you anything." he said bluntly, "I don't answer to either of you."

"Goku, really, what's wrong?" Bulma shut off the monitor and handed me a shirt. I sat up straight, grimacing at the greasy feeling of the gel smeared on my stomach. I pulled the shirt on anyway, avoiding Kakarot's eyes pointedly.

"Nothing," Kakarot gritted out.

"Oh, sure, I'll believe that," Bulma said sarcastically; then she stared him down intensely. "I've known you longer than anyone, Goku. I can tell when you're hiding something."

"Yeah, but I don't have to tell you _everything_," Kakarot growled.

"You can tell me about this!"

"It's not important, and it's none of _your_ business anyway!"

"Is it mine?" I broke in suddenly. Both sets of narrowed eyes snapped to me.

I felt self-conscious, "Is it… is it my business?"

"No," Kakarot snapped, "What goes on in my life is no one's business but mine."

"But you're taking it out on us," Bulma pointed out heatedly.

"It's not a big deal." Kakarot said forcefully, averting his gaze.

"Stop this, Kakarot, your arguments are getting you nowhere," I growled, "It'll save a lot of trouble to just spill it."

"No." Kakarot said firmly.

"Come on," Bulma pleaded, "This isn't like you, you're frustrated and angry and _sad_ right now."

I glanced at her, wondering at the third word she used. Nothing I'd seen of Kakarot had been sad at all; he'd just been a twisted ball of negative ki for almost two months, maybe longer.

The woman's words seemed to slap Kakarot in the face and he winced; but he still didn't give an inch.

His coal eyes met mine, and I saw an almost inconceivable depth of furor in them, like he was feeling a million trillion things inside that were just tearing him up. Fury, terror, desperation, pain…

"Just drop it," his gaze lifted and so did the moment of connection.

I dropped my eyes to my own hands in my lap, confused and dying to know what had made Kakarot so conflicted.

He left, his footsteps quick and sure, but his ki a rollercoaster of emotion that I didn't even try to decipher. I looked up to watch him go, knowing as well as he did that he was retreating, fleeing that which he couldn't face.

Bulma was quiet for a moment. It took me a second to realize she was mute out of shock.

"Go after him," she ordered me.

"What?" I shot back, "Why?"

"Because. You _care_ about him. He needs you." she said cogently.

"He doesn't need me," I muttered, "He can take care of himself."

"Physically, yes, no one's stronger," Bulma nodded, "But his mind is like a child's, however more intelligent he's become lately. He has a hard time pulling himself together when he's mad and –"

"And he blows things up," I interrupted knowingly, "Woman, that's not a Kakarot thing; that's a Saiyan thing."

"And you're the only other Saiyan left, so… Go. After. Him." She commanded.

Well, it was hard to argue with that.

X

I flew for hours, searching out Kakarot's ki. It was extremely high and still very negative, so I should have found him in a matter of minutes. But he kept _moving._ With his Instant Transmission technique, he could teleport anywhere. So I ended up chasing him all over the godsdamned planet.

Finally I had to stop in the middle of a rocky clearing. My ki was wavering again and my breath was coming in sharp, ragged gasps. I was drenched in sweat and shivering slightly. _Idiot woman, making me exert myself after the other day when I passed out._ I realized she didn't know about that episode; no one but Kakarot, his woman, and I knew about that.

My knees were shaking with fatigue, and I let myself sit down. I stayed that way, my head between my bent knees, my chest heaving for air against my chin.

I groaned weakly as my ki dropped lower. My energy was fading fast and the shivering just increased with every passing minute. I tried to stand, but I felt like I was made of lead; I couldn't move. I shook my head quickly, flecking the ground with sweat as I struggled to keep my vision steady. I stared at my quivering hands, and they flickered in and out of focus.

_Not again, _I prayed, _I doubt Kakarot will save my ass a second time._

I knew I should have tried to move, but I just felt tired, and a lovely, warm lull was settling over my mind. _Why not rest, just for a moment? _My eyes started to drift closed and the weightless warmth enveloped my body.

"Snap out of it, Vegeta!" someone shouted, but the voice seemed far away, incoherent and blurry.

The warm lull that had embraced me started to drain, and I made a frail sound of protest as cold, shivering reality slammed back down.

I opened my eyes hazily. Everything was a wash of color; I couldn't make out anything in particular. I let my eyelids flutter closed again, trying to summon that carefree lull.

"Vegeta!" the same blurry voice intoned harshly. I grumbled a vague protest and tried to shove whoever it was away.

I registered a resounding _crack_ and a stab of pain slashing across my face.

My eyes snapped open. Twin black pools stared at me; it took me a moment to realize they were eyes. Kakarot's eyes. Everything was still fuzzy, but I could see his hand, raised and poised to slap me again.

"Snap out of it," Kakarot repeated in a snarl; then his voice took on an intense, empathetic tone, "I'm going to give you some of my ki so you can stand. Can you focus on me long enough to take it or do I have to hit you again?"

I blinked hard several times, trying to clear my vision, but I just… couldn't see straight.

Then a gentle flood of heat and energy started filling me, beginning in my stomach region. Unlike the lull from before, it didn't beckon me to sleep and give up; it was powerful, fierce and passionate. Like Kakarot. Or Kakarot as I knew him; back when he was the sole hope of the universe, and he would do anything to protect those he cared about.

I took a moment to savor the essence of Kakarot's ki flowing through me; then I made use of the energy and stood up unstably. I was still shivering and aching, but at least I could trust myself not to collapse.

I was aware that Kakarot had stood straight and was looking at me. It wasn't the glare he'd given me before, or the innocent, friendly gaze that defined him. It was almost like he was looking _through _me, or that he was seeing something he didn't understand.

I found my voice, but it was dry and shaky, "T-thanks,"

He sighed, "Anytime."

A rather awkward silence fell and we just watched each other.

I knew he was probably still angry, and I wasn't sure if he was any closer to explaining why. I wished I could find the courage to ask, but I was afraid he'd leave again.

"You… you shouldn't fly off alone like that," he said eventually.

"_You_ did," I pointed out.

"That's different," he snapped, "You're…" he swallowed.

"You think because I'm pregnant I can't take care of myself?"

"I… Yes, actually," he said in a rush, "Look, you almost got yourself killed just now!"

"I didn't –" I began.

"Vegeta, when I got to you, your ki was almost gone. If _you_ weren't about to die, then the baby certainly was."

I opened my mouth to reply, searching frantically for the tiny ki inside me. I closed my eyes and exhaled with relief when I found it.

"Why did you come after me?" I asked after a while.

"I could ask you the same thing," Kakarot said breezily.

"You could have let me die and been done with it," I pressed, ignoring his remark, "No more commitment, no more conflict."

He stared at me for a long time. For a moment I wondered if he was considering what I'd said and was thinking of how best to get rid of me.

Then he gave a heavy sigh and shook his head from side to side slowly.

"If you died, none of that would go away." He murmured, "If anything, it might get worse."

"Why?" I asked, crossing my fingers behind my back for luck. It was a human custom, but I needed all the luck I could get, hoping for him to respond honestly.

"Because." He said bluntly. I waited for him to evaluate, but he said nothing else.

I cursed mentally. Now I'd have to ask him again. _Crafty bastard, _I thought in frustration, _when did he get so good at running away?_

"Kakarot, tell me what's wrong with you," I said beseechingly, "I've been completely honest with you this entire time, can't you return the favor?"

He shifted his weight a little. For a wild second, I thought he'd flee again and I'd have to risk losing my ki again chasing him down. He didn't move, however, he just dropped his gaze to the ground and studied his boots.

"I… I've been so confused, Vegeta." he said quietly. There was more emotion in that short sentence than in every word he'd spoken to me over the course of two months. He glanced up at me quickly before looking back down.

"I… t-thought I was mad… at you, but… really I was just…" he broke off, grinding his teeth together. He reminded me a lot of myself a while back. That seemed like years ago.

"You were just…?" I prompted. I was so close; if he would just finish his sentence I'd know why he was so angry before.

He fidgeted, his eyes darting around nervously. I'd never seen him so agitated.

"Kakarot, please –" I began, but I didn't get to finish.

He lunged forward, and I thought he was about to attack me and put an end to this. Instead he gripped my shoulders forcefully and closed his lips over mine.

Now I'd been kissed before; you'd better believe it.

But _this._ This was something new, something entirely different; it was powerful and passionate and overwhelming. I was almost unaware of _anything_ except the soft, warm lips pressed against mine, the invasive velvet tongue and slick teeth, the sweltering heat of the body so close to me. I wondered if I'd pass out from the sensation alone. I wondered if I'd die from it. I almost _wanted_ to.

It was over in a moment. And as Kakarot receded and backed away a little I just stood there. I was shivering again, but this time from shock and raw desire.

I opened my eyes and dared to look at him. I knew that his eyes would tell me everything, and would determine possibly my entire future. Was he still angry? Ashamed? Guilty? Or did he want more like I did? Had he wanted this all along?

Kakarot stood about two feet away, touching his fingers to his lips as though searching for evidence of the brief kiss, as if he himself couldn't believe it had happened. His eyes were fixed on me, full of slight confusion, indecision and the distinct glint of desire.

_Yes!_ I wanted to punch the air shout triumphantly, but I forced myself to stay still.

"Vegeta, I…." he began, his eyes wide, "…I didn't…"

"It's alright, Kakarot." _More than alright, it's a relief I can't voice,_ I kept the thought to myself.

He didn't reply, he just looked down and wrung his hands.

"I didn't mean to…" he began again, seeming to wrestle within himself, "W-what I mean is… I shouldn't have…"

_No, no, please don't…!_ I thought desperately. _So close… I was so fucking close…._

"Kakarot," I said pleadingly, "Please tell me you aren't about to leave again,"

"I…" he hesitated, "I don't… I don't know…"

"_Please_ stay," I begged, "I…I think…" I swallowed hard and pressed on, "I think I'm in love with you,"

His gaze shot up to meet mine, his eyes wider than before.

"W-what?" he asked shakily.

I expelled all the air from my lungs slowly. I'd either just solved this entire mess with that confession; or I'd just ruined everything.

"You…you're serious?" he gasped.

I searched my feelings. Maybe it was just hormones, another mood swing… No, it couldn't be. I'd never _ever_ felt the way I was feeling right now.

I took a deep breath and nodded twice.

He looked at me with unreadable eyes.

"I'm sorry…" he said slowly, "I… I don't feel the same…."

"Then why did you kiss me?" I demanded.

"Because…" he stammered for a reply, a reason, in the end he just snapped, "I don't know, Vegeta, I just _don't know!"_

"All I know is that after you did, all that conflict in your eyes –" I snapped my fingers sharply, "– just disappeared."

He took a step back; a slow retreat, but a retreat nonetheless.

I'd had enough of this. My hand shot out and grabbed his wrist before he could take off.

"Oh, no you don't!" I barked, "Don't you _dare!_"

His eyes sparked fire but he didn't leave.

"If you don't know what you're feeling, you're going to stay right here until you figure it out," I said harshly, "Then, and only then, I'll let you go."

He knew as well as I did that he could leave anyway. I was weaker than him on the best of days, but I guess he knew that I wouldn't leave him alone until he got this sorted out.

And I hoped he'd sort it out quick, because I wanted to know whether I should kiss him or punch him before I tried either.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 11

"Now answer me, Kakarot," I said patiently, "Why did you kiss me?"

"I told you, I don't know!" Kakarot retorted, looking frustrated.

I pressed on; I didn't want to force him in case he ended up hating me, but I couldn't wait around to know the answer anymore.

"That's a lie," I snapped, "You _do_ know, you just don't want to say it," I tightened my grip on his wrist and stood on my toes to meet his eyes levelly, "Well; _I _want to hear you say it."

He blinked twice, his eyebrows furrowing by degrees.

"What exactly do you want to hear me say?" he asked flatly.

"I want to hear you say….." I faltered; my grip on his wrist loosening. It slipped from my grasp and he watched my eyes intently.

I took a deep breath. What _did_ I want to hear?

"I want to hear the truth." I said rigidly.

He stood still for a long time, his face an enigma.

I waited, watching Kakarot struggle within himself.

He closed his eyes and heaved a sigh.

"The truth?" he muttered, I nodded, "The truth…. The truth is…. It's…. it's just that…." he suddenly looked angry and he growled in a rush, "The truth is that… when I look at you… I can't explain it but I feel like I _have_ to be where you are! Like I'm… _drawn_ to you or something," he gulped a breath, "Your scent is…. intoxicating, your voice is…. I just… I know I shouldn't…."

He broke off, breathing hard and averting his eyes from mine.

"Are you trying to say you…?" I began.

"No," he snapped instantly, "I know what love is. I _do,_" he added as I looked at him reproachfully, "And this… is different. It's like you're doing it on purpose. It's like you're taunting me, it's like… like I have to bite my tongue off to keep from... from _growling…._ At you, I think…. No, _over_ you. It's like…"

I almost could hear the click as something fell into place in my head.

"I know why," I blurted, cutting off whatever he'd been about to say.

He tilted his head slightly, somewhat irritated, somewhat intrigued.

But I wasn't worried about hurting his feelings right now. I had an advantage. And there wasn't a damn thing Kakarot could do about it. He was _attracted_ to me, against his will it seemed. Oh, but wasn't that just perfect? I had finally defeated the great Kakarot. But not with my power or even my wit; I had defeated him with the one thing he couldn't seem to control. His own body.

"Care to explain?" he prompted, crossing his arms.

I noticed he was breathing shallowly through his mouth, as if afraid of smelling something. I inhaled deeply through my nose, trying to determine what he was avoiding. And there it was. I don't know _why_ I never noticed it before; there was a piquant, but thin scent in the air. Like clove and fire. That was my own scent; every Saiyan had one that was unique to them. I guess it was a little stronger for some reason; was that why Kakarot was so jittery?

Kakarot's scent, on the other hand, was like a sea breeze, or a pine forest; prodigious and fresh, but icy and slightly stinging. I had a much harder time shutting it out than I did my own. The difference was; I didn't want to.

As I thought about what I knew of Saiyan scent, my mind wandered and I completely ignored Kakarot's question in favor of inhaling his chilling musk like it was a drug.

"You smell it too?" he asked after a while. I opened my eyes and glanced up at him. He was watching me with something like… I could only describe it as desire that had been chained, bottled and strangled until it couldn't breathe, "Then you understand?"

I looked at him, I understood what?

He took a hesitant step towards me, "It's like…" he actually took a breath through his nose this time, and a shiver ran visibly down his body, "It's like swallowing the sun," he took another deep inhalation, his voice growing rough, "It's like dark chocolate and red wine and everything wonderful in the world. Overwhelming and irresistible, mouthwatering, alcoholic, like something forbidden that you just want _so badly_," I noticed he was less than an inch from me and I tensed. There was something about the dark fire that pooled from his depthless eyes that spoke of addiction, and it almost scared me.

"N-no, Kakarot, that's not what I…" I began; he was circling me slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. Those eyes burned so deeply that I could almost feel them searing my skin. I realized what I was smelling must be _completely_ different for him, and I wondered what it was that could turn innocent Kakarot into this, what I liken to a predator, and was it just me or was his saline, zephyr-like scent getting stronger?

I tried to hold on to my sense of reason, closing my eyes, concentrating on thinking, remembering.

There was something Father had said to me a long time ago about a Saiyan's sense of smell. What was it?

"_A Saiyan's senses are all heightened, particularly the sense of smell, and especially towards the scent of another Saiyan."_

I blinked open my eyes and everything he'd said came back to me.

"_You're not old enough now, but when you're older you will notice that everyone gives off a specific scent. You, me, your bodyguard Nappa, everyone. And when you mature you will notice that some are stronger, or more desirable, than others." _He'd fixed me with his unwavering gaze then, _"But you are a prince, Vegeta. You can't go chasing anyone that catches your fancy. So I want you to promise me, here and now, that no matter how nice someone may smell; you won't just go leaping after them."_

I'd laughed at the image that brought to mind back then, but he wasn't finished.

"_Saiyans are creatures of instinct, and particularly the males have a hard time coping with the signals their bodies are giving them. Many end up in situations they'd rather not be in just because they let sense take the backseat and focused on hormones or scent."_

Oh, how right he'd been. Wait. I glanced at Kakarot- still circling hungrily – and I almost slapped myself in the forehead right there and then.

His warning didn't apply to me right now. Sure I had a tough time wrestling with emotions and Kakarot's musk was alluring. But that wasn't what was important here. In our situation _he_ played the male role –whether I liked it or not – and that meant that _I_ was the one that had to watch out.

Watch out for what, exactly?

"Vegeta," Kakarot whispered in my ear. His voice was ragged, and his hot breath was less than an inch from my face.

I flinched, but only because that was the closest he'd gotten to me in a long time…. short of kissing me, of course.

For some reason, I was unnerved, wary. Wasn't this what I wanted? What I'd prayed for and begged for and craved for almost two months? Then why did I feel…. violated? Like I should shove Kakarot away, or run from him, or at least reprimand him?

And when something hot and wet touched the side of my neck, I nearly jumped out of my skin, sucking a breath between my teeth sharply. Kakarot's tongue ran from my jugular down to the juncture of my neck and shoulder where he hesitated, his lips hovering over the skin.

I shut my eyes again, trying to shut the sensations out and focus. Something else Father had explained to me at a young age. Something I'd also been told by Radditz when I asked him about it later; came rushing back.

"_When Saiyans mate, they agree to be bonded. It's a hard bond to form and even harder to sever. A lot of Saiyans are mated rashly and pay the price when they come to their senses. It involves claiming your partner and being claimed. This is done during or preceding courtship –" _when Radditz explained it he said "sex", _"- and is done by biting a certain area of the body. You'll know where eventually."_

I started to draw away from Kakarot, suddenly terrified. I'd barely made it two steps when he stopped me, locking his arms around my chest from behind and pulling me flush against him. He was still inhaling greedily, breathing into the back of my shirt as if he could devour it. I felt hardness pressing against my spine and I struggled.

"Kakarot, stop! You'll regret it, believe me!" I shouted.

He growled darkly and buried his nose in the base of my hair, drawing in my scent.

Shit. I stopped struggling, knowing he could crush me if he so chose. Maybe I could talk sense into him. But my Father's cautioning voice was still ringing in my ears, so I doubted it.

"Vegeta," his voice was coarse, rich and purring. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

His mouth found my neck again, he traced a design with his tongue, sucking on the skin, kissing it, and a low groan escaped unbidden from my throat.

No! Not like this! I forced myself to breathe steadily, to not give in.

"Kakarot… listen to me," I grunted, shifting my weight and trying to move my neck out of his reach, "Stop this, I –"

He swallowed my protests, turning me swiftly so that my chest was to his and capturing my lips aggressively.

…Why was I arguing again? My mind went blank. The torrid heat pouring over my body, the icy hot musk racing through my nostrils like an aphrodisiac, why was I against this? Why wasn't I begging for more?

My father's face appeared behind my eyelids and I broke away from Kakarot. Shaking and commanding myself not to inhale, not to look at him.

_He was the one that got you pregnant, remember?_

I considered this thought for half a second. Was that really so bad? So far, pregnancy hadn't exactly been fun, but it hadn't been torture either. And I can't say that if I could do it over I would. Maybe I'd rather keep it this way. Maybe…

Kakarot's mouth found mine again and I moaned helplessly. Whatever my father said, whatever good judgment was telling me to do; I had absolutely no complaint about _this._

_If you let him do this you won't be able to stop him! What if he -?_

I shoved the nagging thought away. Kakarot's agile tongue stroked against mine; I was almost to the melting point under the heat ricocheting off his body in waves. He ground his hips against mine, his hardness chafing against what was – though I tried to deny it halfheartedly – my own rock hard arousal.

His lips left mine and my tongue searched for its partner for a moment. I blinked and nearly cried out as he pressed them instead to the joining of muscle between my neck and shoulder. Why was he so intent on that one spot?

Kakarot nuzzled and licked the area, growling low in his throat, and my Father's voice found its way into my head again.

"…_This is done during or preceding courtship…" _

My whole body tensed.

"…_And is done by biting a certain area on the body…"_

Kakarot's lips drew back slightly and I felt the prick of a canine tooth against the sensitive skin.

"…_You'll know where eventually."_

Then several things happened in the space of one second: I realized what my father and Radditz were trying to tell me, Kakarot's teeth sank a full inch below my skin, blood started leaking from the wound, and my whole world went white.

I thought I would explode, I thought the pressure would just build and build until my skin couldn't take it anymore and I burst into a gazillion pieces. I thought at the very least that I'd pass out.

But I did none of these things. I threw my head back and screamed as I came hard, soaking the front of my spandex. I couldn't register anything but the virtual tsunami of pleasure crashing and ripping through me. I was nearly sobbing by the time I could see straight, and even then I was far from being able to think, or even breathe.

I almost choked when next I took in air. I looked at Kakarot; his teeth were still embedded in my shoulder and he was sucking hungrily, his eyes squeezed shut. His grip on me was almost crippling, but nothing could have made me move away, nothing in the world.

The suction on my skin was almost to the point of me losing the feeling in the area, and I thought dimly, _I am going to have the world's darkest hickey when this is all over._

Kakarot's teeth sank deeper and a hiss slipped through my clenched teeth. The taller Saiyan growled and drew away, his canines pulling out of my flesh audibly. He straightened slightly and looked down at me. His lips and teeth were stained with red; and his eyes hadn't lost the animalistic hunger from before, but it was fading fast. The scent of sweat, seed, and release was in the air, and it took me a moment to realize it wasn't all coming from me.

"Kakarot," I said carefully, my hand drifting to the bite mark on my shoulder that was still bleeding freely.

He said nothing, nothing at all; and he only looked at me once before blasting away quickly.

I sat down heavily, my hand still on the mark. _What happens if the mating isn't mutual? What if it's incomplete? Is such a thing even possible?_ I closed my eyes as another thought dawned._ What made Kakarot stop? _

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 12

I sat there for a long time, the rocks I was sitting on hurt, but not as much as the hurt inside. It wasn't the tearing-me-up-from-the-inside hurt I knew, but just a dull ache. The bite mark between my neck and shoulder hurt too, but in a tingling, slightly comforting way. Those marks had been dug by Kakarot's teeth; at least some part of me belonged to him.

Why did he leave? He was so insistent before, and eager enough to bite me, and then he just… vanished? I snorted grimly. The whole thing was probably just hormones; after all, Kakarot had them too. Was he reacting this way due to my being pregnant?

Well, that raised a whole new set of questions. Was he only sticking around because he was "drawn" to me? Had he only obliged me that first and only time because he could smell that I was in season? Was it not my fault that I got pregnant at all?

I sensed a rush of ki approaching behind me and I turned semi-hopefully, expecting to see Kakarot returning. But no, it was just his eldest son, Gohan. Their ki was so similar, and yet…

"Hey Vegeta, what are you doing out here alone?" he asked as he landed.

"Important things," I said harshly, returning my gaze to the ground.

He gave a short laugh that was so like Kakarot's it was painful.

"Why are you on the ground then?" he extended a hand, offering to help me up. His earnest smile and the friendly gesture took me by surprise. Too much of the contact people had shown me had been violent or forceful these days, I guess.

I surprised myself then, by taking the offer and letting him pull me to my feet.

"So what's so important that you have to do it all alone in the middle of nowhere on the ground?" Gohan smiled. I narrowed my eyes, unsure if he was making fun of me or not. I decided not to answer and just crossed my arms and looked away.

"You don't have to be like that," he said gently, "I was only teasing; I didn't mean it," he blinked and went on somewhat more warily, "You're bleeding, you know."

"I know." I muttered.

"Did you get in a fight? Are you okay?" Gohan demanded, seeming ready to take off for help at the drop of a hat.

"No, I'm fine." I grit out. Why couldn't Kakarot show the level of concern his son was showing? Would that be so horrible? What could have been _so_ bad that he had to bolt like a rabbit if things got too awkward, or too complicated, or too infuriating for him?

"Well…. okay," Gohan mumbled, shifting his stance.

I sighed, uncrossed my arms and let them hang loosely at my sides. I felt tired, and I just wanted this day to be over. I was also hungry. Not just hungry, I was ravenous. I didn't know which I wanted first; food or sleep. Also I'd probably have to take a shower. I looked back up at Gohan – how was it that he was half my age _and_ he was taller than me? Was _everyone_ taller than me? – and I half-wished he'd just go away and leave me alone.

The demi- Saiyan was looking at me perplexedly. I felt my heart flutter at the fact that he stuck out his lower lip a little when he was confused, just like Kakarot.

I followed his line of sight and realized he was looking at my stomach. The spandex shirt had gotten un-tucked from my pants in the incident with Kakarot, and it was a little higher on my waist than it usually would be – okay, so I was having a little trouble fitting into my clothes now, I admit it; they just felt so godsdamned _tight_.

Gohan met my eyes questioningly.

"Kakarot was here," I spat out, might as well be honest. I pulled the spandex down over the exposed flesh and tried to force it back to my beltline. It wouldn't stay. Great.

"…And…?" Gohan prompted, looking even more confused. Gods, he did that thing with his eyebrows just like Kakarot did.

I shoved the similarity away, irritated, "And he –" I began brashly; I stopped. Did Gohan even know that I was pregnant?

I looked at his expression for clarification. He _didn't! _My hand reached up to cover my mouth when I realized I'd almost made a huge mistake and possibly almost ruined at least three relationships.

"He and I were talking…" I tried again, at least that part was half-true.

I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it from him; hell, I wouldn't be able to keep it from _anyone;_ but there were a _lot_ nicer ways of saying what I'd been about to say back there.

"That doesn't explain why you're bleeding or why you were on the ground," Gohan pointed out.

_Dammit, I forgot he's even smarter than me._

My stomach – which had caused the awkwardness I was now stuck in - turned out to be my rescuer as it decided to rumble loudly right then.

Gohan blinked twice rapidly; then he laughed lightly. I cracked a smile; I really liked the sound of Kakarot's laugh, even if it came from his son's mouth.

"Why don't we get lunch somewhere and then you can explain over some food? My treat," the demi offered.

_Gods, what a gentleman_, I found myself thinking. Exasperation set in when I noted that that was the female hormones chipping in. Why did _I_have to get stuck with this mess?

Gohan's eyes were still on me, he looked slightly crestfallen, "Is that a no?"

I realized my annoyance must have shown on my face.

"Brat, you know I can't say no to free food." I muttered. I shot him a smirk to show I was teasing. _See, I can do that too._

The demi brightened instantly, "Great, I'm starving!"

There was something about his innocent face that just made me happy. It was about time I got treated right for once.

X

Gohan chose a sushi bar to take me to lunch and ordered a table away from other people – well, at least _he_ respected my personal bubble - I tried to keep my eyes on my boots the whole time to keep from embarrassing myself, but my gaze just seemed to want to drift back up to the demi's face. I started and then blushed as he pulled out my chair for me and made an elegant gesture inviting me to sit. I knew he was teasing again, but with a little imagination….

I slapped myself mentally. _Stop it! He's not Kakarot, you idiot!_

I sat down unsteadily, trying to keep my thoughts straight, and there came a thin, faint ripping sound. I leapt to my feet and I glanced down. The arm of my chair had hooked on the back of my spandex shirt – which _still_ wouldn't reach my waistline, forget about tucking it back into my pants - and ripped a good portion of it from my side and lower chest. It took a lot to rip spandex – I'd tried it myself enough times – so this told me that the shirt had either been way too tight on me; or that the chair was made of steel spear points. I seriously doubted the latter option, so it must have been the shirt. _Can anything else go wrong today?_

I tried to retain the scraps of my dignity as I sat down again, my cheeks burning; not meeting Gohan's eye because I knew he'd laugh at me. Hell, _I_ almost wanted to laugh at me.

He was so silent that for a moment I thought he'd left.

I glanced up quickly. He was looking at me with that perplexed expression again, leaning forward with interest.

"What?" I snapped, flustered.

"How did that happen?" he asked.

"The chair snagged on my shirt, brat." I muttered out of the side of my mouth.

"But wouldn't it just stretch then…?" Gohan began. He got to his feet, "Here, I'll help you get it unhooked." I'd been trying to disentangle the large scrap of blue spandex that had gotten caught on the chair arm. It was still attached to my shirt by a thin strip of the material, so I was stuck unless I got it uncaught.

He kneeled and started untwisting the section from the wooden arm, shooting me apologetic glances as if this was somehow his fault. I tried to help him and he slapped my hand away gently. So I just watched him work – it's a lot harder to get spandex off of a chair arm than you might think – and from this vantage point, I could see the curve of his spine so very like Kakarot's, the top of his spiked black hair, a sliver of the exposed pale skin of his neck. I kept trying to tell myself forcefully that the thoughts going through my mind were indecent, even bordering on insane, and that I should just send the demi away and untangle my own shirt.

But then a scent crept into my nostrils, a crisp, chilling scent that only got stronger as the half-Saiyan lifted his arm to get a better angle on his work. I bit off a moan of longing. I had no idea that Saiyan scent could be passed down generations. By all rights, it might just be a freak coincidence that Gohan smelled exactly like his father… but that was about as likely as Hercule winning in a fight against Majin Buu.

"Got it!" the demi said triumphantly, and I felt the stretch of the taut material relax as it was unhooked. I straightened and Gohan hesitated, fingering the thin blue spandex for a moment, his gaze drifting slightly.

I couldn't stop myself from breathing in his scent; it was just like Kakarot's, down to the faint, salty-mint notes of pine and ocean.

I barely noticed that Gohan's eyes weren't on the scrap of spandex; they were fixed on my midsection.

"This is going to sound stupid," he began warily, as if I'd attack him, "But… Vegeta, are you…? You couldn't possibly be…. Are you pregnant?"

I inhaled the addicting musk deeply, all thought and reason shutting down.

"Yes," I breathed, and before he could respond one way or the other, I hooked my arm around the back of his neck and drew him up to kiss me.

X

Now I know what you're thinking, "_Vegeta, how could you do that? He's Goku's son for crying out loud!_" Something like that, yes? But realize I wasn't quite myself then. Kakarot had just bitten me and by doing so claimed me; but then he'd left before I could claim him, so that left me feeling extremely incomplete, rejected, with a desperate need to have something of my own. And there was the whole hormones issue that I'd rather not go into detail with right now.

Needless to say, Gohan struggled at first. He had probably expected me to blast his head off, and there was a certain sense of shock that came with being kissed by your one-time archrival without warning. I don't know _why_ I did it. Well, I do know why. Because every molecule in my body would surely rip me to pieces if I didn't. But for me it almost felt like I was stooping a bit low, settling for less, and while Gohan's scent was like Kakarot's exactly, he was nowhere _near_ as good a kisser as his father was. Eh, I've got nothing against Gohan, but there just wasn't a spark there.

So I disconnected the brief kiss and started to sit back, but then the demi locked his arms around my neck and kissed me back chastely. Wait. What? _What?_ I floundered and attempted to break away; the scent that had lured me in a moment ago just wasn't affecting me anymore, and now I could hear sanity screaming at me that this was wrong, very wrong.

He let me go after a moment, standing up and looking down at me. I didn't like that small display of what may have been dominance, so I rose to my feet as well, for all the good it would do – I was still shorter than him either way.

"Why did you kiss me?" I snapped.

"I could ask you the same thing," he replied.

My breath caught in my throat. Kakarot's words from before exactly. _Stop. It. Please._ My mind demanded.

"But… you didn't have to –" I stammered.

"You looked like you needed it," he said simply.

"W-What? What do you mean, brat?"

"I can't really explain it. You just looked sad; kind of empty, like you were missing out on something amazing."

I sighed. I _was_ missing out on something amazing. Kakarot. I shoved the thought down deep and forbid it from resurfacing.

"But you… I…" I began desperately, unsure if he understood how wrong the situation was, "It's… not right,"

He shrugged, "Why not? I don't see any reason to be upset,"

"But I -!" I began heatedly.

"Vegeta. You're being hysterical. It's hormones, I get that. Mom did weird things when she was pregnant with Goten too."

I stared. _He_ wasn't upset about me being pregnant either? Was Kakarot the _only_ one who was against this?

"I'm sorry," I said quickly, "I shouldn't have… without your permission… I didn't mean to, I didn't _think_…"

He just smiled carelessly, "Hey, a lot of things in my life happened without my permission; nearly all of them much worse than being kissed by the Prince of All Saiyans."

I dropped my gaze to the floor and shuffled my feet nervously.

"This isn't… I mean… we're not…" I stammered ridiculously, "Kakarot, he…"

"I know," Gohan dropped his voice an octave or two, "I know he's the father."

"How did you -?" I began.

"I guessed,"

"But _how -?"_

"Well it's pretty obvious, who else could it be?"

"What do you mean by that?" I muttered.

He thought for a moment, "Hmm… let me put it this way; no one in the universe is more worthy of a prince's affections."

_Affections?_ I bit my lip. I wouldn't call it that. Not even close.

X

When we left the restaurant – after eating enough to fill two Saiyans – we just flew in silence for a while. I glanced at the demi flying next to me. I could never feel for him what I felt for Kakarot - not a chance - and he knew that. But somehow he didn't mind; I don't think he wanted me to. I frowned, thinking hard. He didn't care if I hated him, he didn't care if I kissed him, as long as I wasn't doing something dangerous or evil. Why was that? There was a level of fascination that surrounded Gohan. He was possibly even more of an enigma than his father. But he was right. He wasn't anywhere close to being worthy of a Saiyan Prince. Only Kakarot deserved that honor, if only he'd just stand up and take it.

Speak of the Devil; just as the tall Saiyan entered my thoughts, Kakarot himself came out of nowhere. I barely had time to glance him rocketing towards me before I realized he wasn't here to talk, he wasn't here to fight, he was here to kill.

I shielded my face with my forearms in an attempt to ward him off, knowing he'd attack me for sure. Did he know that I'd kissed his son? Was he furious with me for that?

I heard the smack of flesh and flesh colliding at a huge velocity and a startled yelp. I looked up, shocked to find myself still in one piece after a sound like that. Then I realized Kakarot hadn't attacked me. He'd attacked his son.

I stared in astonishment as Kakarot plummeted towards the ground, his arms so tight around his son's neck that Gohan surely must have been choking. The two hit the ground below with a sickening thud that made my stomach flip over. I blasted towards the ground as fast as I could, but in my mind I was reeling. _What in the hell is going on?_

I landed next to Kakarot, the backlash of ki whipping at my hair. Kakarot had his son pinned in the dirt, the demi's arms were locked behind his back and Kakarot was twisting them, shouting furiously.

"How dare you?" he demanded, "How _dare_ you!"

Gohan let out a choked sound of pain and forced out, "How d-dare I what? What d…did I d-do?"

"You know very well what you did!" Kakarot snarled, "You touched what's mine, and for that you'll pay."

"Kakarot, what are you _doing_?" I shouted, trying to force the two apart. Kakarot growled and grabbed his son by the back of the neck again before he could get away, his elbow clipping me in the process.

I staggered under the force of the blow that hit me in the gut, almost sinking to my knees but managing to stay standing.

"S-stop it!" I commanded, shoving Kakarot away from Gohan, "Kakarot, that's your son! Are you trying to _kill_ him?"

"Whose side are you on?" Kakarot shot back, his teeth bared, "_His_?" He pointed a menacing finger at the demi sprawled in the dirt.

"What are you _talking_ about? Have you gone insane, Kakarot?" I growled, drawing back my lips to meet his snarl with my own. Yes it was instinctive, yes it was a primitive way of solving a dispute, and yes it was absolutely necessary.

"_Me?_" He sounded outraged, "If anything _you've_ gone insane! You belong to _me_, Vegeta, not him!"

I blinked once, my snarl disintegrating to a blank line of confusion. What?_ Whaaaaaat?_!

"W-what did you say?" I stuttered.

He rolled his eyes as if I was being stupid and pulled me over to him by the shirt collar, ignoring his son who still lay wounded behind him. He turned me so that my left side was facing him and slid the narrow sleeve of my spandex down, where it came to rest in the crook of my elbow, baring my whole left shoulder.

"See?" he jabbed a finger at the still-healing bite mark implanted in my skin, "_See?_"

"Yeah, you bit me," I said inanely.

He didn't answer that; I hadn't expected him to.

He crossed his arms over his chest, pouting like a teenager and drumming his fingers on his bare bicep impatiently.

"Why don't you just leave like you did last time?" I broke the silence frustratedly, "You haven't made good on _any_ of your promises so far, so why don't you just go? I don't need you and neither does the baby!"

"No," he said obdurately.

"Why not?" I retorted, "Nothing's keeping you here!"

"You're wrong," he growled, "I c… I _can't_ leave."

"What do you mean you _can't?_ You just did two hours ago!"

"Yeah, and _every_ second I was away from you was like a railroad spike being pounded into my skull!" he snapped, "I got the _worst _headache _ever,_ and when _my son kissed you _I felt like my blood was going to catch fire!"

"I kissed him first," I said bluntly.

"And what in the godsdamned universe would make you want to do _that_?" he shouted.

"_You_ weren't there," I shot back, almost too quietly for him to hear.

Silence – a silence so complete that a dropping pin could have been heard - fell.

He drew in a deep, slow breath and let it out gradually.

"I'm sorry." He murmured.

"You're _sorry?_" I snarled, "That's _it?_ I'm just supposed to forgive you and go on with my life? As what, a possession?"

He made a sound suspiciously close to a whimper of denial.

It was the strangest thing. I wanted to slap him and hug him, both at the same time.

"Kakarot, you've evaded every attempt I've made to try and get you to tell me the truth thus far. The closest I got was two hours ago when you bit me, and just now. So tell me once and for all; what exactly do you feel for me, and why?"

"I…" he began.

"Ah-ah, Kakarot. Think first. Make sure you _know_ before you try to explain." I admonished. I didn't know why, but this seemed really important right now.

Kakarot was silent for a long while. I heard Gohan get to his feet with a muffled groan of pain. _Poor kid,_ I found myself thinking, _He's really been through the ringer today._

"I feel…" Kakarot said tentatively, "…_protective_ of you… _possessive_. Like I'd kill anyone that tried to hurt you," I didn't like the glare he shot over his shoulder at his son, "I feel like I _should_ be with you… but at the same time, I hate you."

I felt something crack inside me, maybe my heart. I hadn't even known the word "hate" was in Kakarot's vocabulary.

"I hate you for enslaving me, for manipulating me, for forcing me. I hate you for gloating, for humiliating me, for chasing me when I try to escape. You're like a plague, Vegeta. You're everywhere at once, destroying as you go. So yes," he took a deep breath, "I hate you. But at the same time… I love you."

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

_((eh. pathetically short chapter, i'm sorry. 12 was nice and long, but this... its the middle of the night.))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 13

Gods, you'd think my tear ducts would have given up by now. I turned away from Kakarot, at least until I could figure out why I was crying _this _time. Stupid hormones; I could never tell what _I_ was feeling anymore. And Kakarot had presented me with a perfect double-sided coin of a situation. He hated me. But he loved me. If I wanted a more conflicted situation, I couldn't have wished it from Shenron.

And maybe it was ironic that I was upset about all this. After all, hadn't I been chasing Kakarot obsessively for almost two months? Begging? Crawling? Wishing he'd be there for me or be more protective? And then he shows up and defends me against what he must have perceived as a huge threat, claims I belong to him and he physically _can't_ leave my side, and then admits that he loves me. I should be happy, right? But no, somehow I was sadder than I'd been in a long, long time. Maybe it was the word "hate" thrown in there. I didn't even know Kakarot _could_ hate. He always seemed to see it as pointless. Anger, yes. Fury and blinding rage, sure. Hate?...

I stole a glance at Kakarot's face. His eyes were fixed on me, waiting for me to respond to his speech. So. The truth at last. I should have been glad, but I felt like I couldn't stand to be in Kakarot's presence anymore without killing something. I noticed too that Gohan had left; probably for his own good. I found myself hoping he'd make it home safe.

I swiped at my eyes deftly to dry them, unable to stay here anymore.

"I have to go." I said shortly, taking to the sky in a blur.

Kakarot followed, and for a moment I considered shouting at him.

"I'll go with you," he replied steadily.

"There's no need, Kakarot," I muttered, fixing him with my penetrating eyes.

He looked uncomfortable; most people did when I gave them the "death glare" as Trunks called it.

"If I leave, I'll get a migraine again," he said nervously.

"No you won't," I shot back, "Because I'm _ordering_ you to."

An expression that might have been offense crossed his face, I could read his thoughts as if he were speaking them; _you belong to me, not the other way around._

Not yet. I was startled that those two words leapt into my mind almost instantly. They were comforting somehow, they promised a possibility.

X

When I got back to Capsule Corp my ki was low, but not dangerously so. I passed the woman who was sorting files at the table and strode upstairs without explanation or greeting. Trunks almost knocked me down the stairs as he rocketed past me; but he didn't stop me so I assumed whatever he was so excited about didn't concern me. I stepped into the upstairs bathroom and shut the door behind me. Then I leaned against it, my head falling back to rest against the flat wooden surface.

Long day. Still not enough time to think. I ran a hand through my unkempt hair; exhausted. I felt dirty in the ripped, slightly bloody spandex shirt and stained pants. I stripped and tossed the dirty clothes in the waste basket, making a mental note to tell the woman to make the shirts a size or two bigger now. I thought about how I might have to change that number again in the near future, and suddenly I had a strange mental image of a round-girthed version of me in florid maternity clothes with no muscle tone at all. And if you think that's unnerving, let me tell you, it was enough to give me nightmares.

I turned the shower on distractedly, still lost in thought and trying to force the unsettling image from my head. Then I stood under the hot spray of water, watching the blood rinse off of my shoulder, staining the water pink. The heat stung the still-open wound but also soothed it somehow. I ran a finger delicately down each individual tooth mark; they were deep and ugly like a scar, but for some reason, touching them this way sent a pleasant warmth zinging through my body. Fascinated, I tried it again and the sensation doubled.

And so, with the shower water pounding on my bare chest, I tried a little experiment.

I laid a flat hand on the bite mark and slowly moved it down my shoulder. The skin of the area was hyper-sensitive and I could literally feel the individual lines of my palm brushing against the scar. A tingle of pleasure whispered through me and I leaned my head against the shower wall, closing my eyes and exploring this new experience. I let my fingertips wander over each ridge and dip of the mark, mapping it by touch alone. And, though he had nothing to do with the moment, a blurry image of Kakarot wavered behind my eyelids. I stopped, and the image faded. _Interesting._

Obviously I was linked to Kakarot through this mark. But what does one do with that kind of knowledge? It wasn't like I could affect him in any way with it; and after what he said today, I wasn't sure if I wanted to anyway. So that left me. What would _I_ do with this? I ran a finger down the mark again, analyzing how different areas responded differently to the contact. I tried something else. I barely brushed the tips of my fingers against it; then I smoothed my thumb across the whole surface. I don't know why I was surprised to find myself growing aroused, but I was. My forehead was still pressed against the tile wall, and it was the only place on my body that wasn't sweltering, whether from the shower water or from embarrassment. Here I was, in the shower, playing with a scar that I shouldn't even have. I wondered if this counted as masturbation…. And of course that thought gave me a _ton_ of new, not-so-innocent ideas.

I stroked the mark again and shivered as a wash of pleasure ran through me. I had possibly just found the greatest sex toy ever.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

_((XX = dream, in case you didn't catch that))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 14

I dreamed again that night. Not like the dreams I'd had before about wire and eggs and fluffy animals. This dream was infinitely shorter, and infinitely worse. I couldn't even discern that it was a dream at the time:

_XX I had just woken up and was stretching to rouse myself. I threw the blanket off and start to get up. My legs were soaking wet for some reason. I glanced down and nearly fainted in shock. The sheets were stained with blood. I looked around, trying to guess where it had come from. I was alone; had I cut myself in my sleep or something? No, I wasn't injured. I looked at the mess of red again. It seemed to have…. emanated from me….. _

_Like a cruel joke, I realized with brutally slow comprehension that I couldn't sense the tiny ki signature that should have been inside me. I had lost the baby. XX_

Then I jolted awake, positive that I had just experienced reality; that I had had a miscarriage. A sob wrenched its way from my throat and I covered my face with my hands, crying silently. What had I done to deserve this? Why did the universe always punish me so? Why couldn't I just get something right, just _once_?

After a while I realized that, while I'd been alone in the dream, I wasn't alone now. I turned over, expecting to see the woman lying next to me. But she wasn't there. In her place was the steadfast form of Kakarot sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me.

"K- Kakarot?" I stammered, "What are you doing here?"

I sat up shakily, reality piecing itself back together. I almost cried out with relief when I found the little ki dot right where it was supposed to be.

"What does it look like?" there was no spite in his voice, but no other emotion either; "You needed me here, so here I am."

"What do you mean I-?" I began

"I could feel it," he said simply, pointing to his temple, "In my head. It was like you were begging me to come. I thought I'd have to save your ass again, so I IT'd here."

"It's the middle of the night," I protested. I glanced at the clock next on the bedside table; it was past midnight.

"Doesn't matter," Kakarot muttered, "If you were on Namek at three a.m. and you needed my help, I'd go there, regardless of what I was doing."

I almost felt touched by that statement, but then I remembered that he was protective of me against his will. He wouldn't care at all if he weren't bound to me by that stupid mark.

"So why did you need me this time?" he asked eventually, "Obviously I'm not here to rescue you."

"I didn't even realize that I was…" I began; then I figured I must have been sending distress signals telepathically while I was asleep.

"It was just a dream." I amended quickly.

He didn't leave after I said that; he didn't just shrug and IT away. I had to give him credit for that.

He drew his legs onto the bed and stayed there for a moment, kneeling on the mattress and looking at me as if for permission.

I inclined my head in a nod, and he crawled up to the headboard and lay down next to me, his eyes never leaving mine as he did. He leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes, his hands folded on his stomach. I wondered if he was going to just fall asleep right there, and I said nothing, waiting.

"What was it about?" he asked softly after a long moment, without opening his eyes.

"What?" I said blankly. _What were we talking about again?_

"The dream," he said, his eyes still closed, "What was it?"

I considered telling him the truth. But then I decided he'd just laugh at me and say I was weak for being afraid of something like that. So I forced myself to sound sincere as I lied blatantly to him.

"Nothing. It was nothing," I muttered, "Don't worry about it."

He surprised me; he gave a very short laugh, almost like a sigh.

"If you're going to lie, save it for someone else," he said, still not opening his eyes, "I can sense that you're not telling the truth and that you're actually pretty worked up about this. So tell me and get it off your chest."

I felt mingled comfort and terror twinge my heart. Comfort because no one would ever understand me like Kakarot; and terror because I realized that if he could read my mind, I wouldn't be able to hide _anything_ from him, _ever._

I took a deep breath, "In the dream… I… I lost the baby." I stammered; gods, it was hard to say that out loud.

Slowly one of Kakarot's eyes opened, and then the other. He turned and looked at me, uncertainty written plainly all over his face.

"The sheets were red, and the baby's ki was gone. Dead. Lost. I…. got scared," It was hard to admit any such thing, but I pressed on, "I knew I had failed, but more than that… I…. I knew I had lost the most important thing in the world to me… and it t-tore me apart…"

I felt the sob I had quashed before wrestle its way back up and I covered my mouth with my fist, swallowing hard even as tears sprang to my eyes.

I felt a strong arm wrap around me, and my eyes darted nervously as Kakarot drew me close to him and laid my head on his chest, my ear pressed flat; I could hear his heartbeat. I gulped a shaky breath, a trio of tears dotting his shirt as they fell from my eyelashes. A low, vibrating sound started up, and it took me a moment to realize it was coming from Kakarot's chest. He was purring, one hand stroking through my hair gently. I knew both actions and the rush of protectiveness Kakarot must have been feeling were instinctual; he had no say in the matter, but for a moment I could pretend that he really cared that I was upset.

"Shh," he murmured, his fingers still threading through my hair, his purr still rumbling against my ear, "It's okay, everything will be okay…"

Again, the soothing litany was visceral and by no means authentic, but again, I let myself pretend.

And I fell asleep almost instantly, the sound of Kakarot purring for his mate lulling me and banishing the cobwebs of the dream.

X

I woke up, expecting to find Kakarot still there with me. He was gone. I wondered distantly how long he'd stayed. A few hours? A few minutes?

Then I berated myself. Had I really expected him to stay here? Had I been so naïve to think he'd be there for me now when he hadn't given a damn from the beginning? Who was I kidding?

It was simple. I was Kakarot's mate – not by choice of either of us – but he wasn't mine. I had no hold over him and by no means could have made him stay.

And he wouldn't have anyway. He'd never really love me; not in a million years.

I almost cried again, but I'd used up all my tears yesterday and had none left to shed.

So I got to my feet and headed downstairs. I kept my eyes on the floor, refusing to look up and see the house empty like it always was on Monday. Just a reminder of my own emptiness.

I crashed into something on the stairs and nearly jumped out of my skin. I looked up. Orange clothing. Black hair. It was Kakarot! He was holding a tray with two plates of food with enough to feed a pair of Saiyans – which was no mean feat – and had a newspaper rolled up under his arm, still in its wrapper as if it had just been dropped off.

"Geez, Vegeta, look where you're going," he muttered, straightening the tray so it wouldn't spill everything and somehow helping me to my feet at the same time.

I blinked. He _had_ stayed? Why? I almost slapped myself right in front of Kakarot for hoping. He stayed because he'd get a headache if he left me in that miserable state. He stayed because he had to. Not because he wanted to.

"What are you doing?" I asked stupidly, trying to read his expression. He could sense every thought in my head, but I didn't have a clue what _he _was thinking. Oh, the joys of one-sided mating, (insert sarcastic quip here).

"Bringing food," he said, indicating the very obvious tray in his hands, "I got hungry, and I figured you'd be too."

I tried to remember the last time I'd eaten. It actually wasn't that long ago, but it seemed like forever.

I nodded mutely and waited for him to demonstrate whether he'd prefer to dine up or downstairs. After all, he got to choose everything else, right?

The verdict seemed to be upstairs, since that's where he'd been heading originally. I followed him and found myself back in my bedroom. He laid the tray on the bedside table and tossed the newspaper on the floor next to it; obviously having no intention to read it. He sat down and placed first one plate of food, then the other, on the bed.

I joined him there, unsure about how the woman would react if something spilled, but not really caring.

Kakarot sprawled on the bed and popped a piece of fruit in his mouth, not meeting my eye. I wondered absently what went on in that head of his. If I were myself I would have said "not much" and chuckled at my wit and superiority; but I was not in any way myself anymore. I started eating as well tentatively, keeping my eyes fixed on Kakarot, trying to decide what it was about him that I had been so drawn to in the first place. A million questions whirled in my mind. Why had I gone to him two months ago when I needed to let off steam? Why had he the first one to come to mind? And why had I let him take the dominant position when I never would have done such a thing before? What would have happened if I hadn't done what I had?

Well I could sit forever and wonder about what could or should have been, the point was; I was still confused by Kakarot, as I had always been, maybe since I'd first met him, but he didn't seem to be confused at all, about _anything._ He asked no questions, he made no apologies or mistakes, he just either went with it or protested it violently; no uncertainty, no middle ground.

How did he do that? How did he simply _not care?_ How did he not worry about everything, or lie awake at night grinding his teeth over what the future might be?

What must it be like, to be Kakarot? To not carry the burdens I did, to have a choice, to be able to call the shots regardless if it hurt anyone? …..To be free? It must be nice.

I set my plate aside and laid down, stacking my hands under my head and looking at the ceiling. Kakarot did much the same after a while, and we were silent. I didn't have to be able to read his thoughts to know what he was thinking about. He proved me right when next he spoke.

"It can't stay like this," he said slowly, "_We_ can't stay like this."

I nodded twice, keeping my eyes on the ceiling, "What are you going to do about it?"

"Me?" he muttered, crossing his arms loosely, "I'm not sure. What are you going to do, Vegeta?"

I propped myself up on one elbow and looked at him for a long time. Slowly, very slowly, a grin edged the corners of his mouth when he realized I was about to start teasing him.

"Oh, I don't know Kakarot," I said sarcastically, "Maybe _have a fucking baby?_"

He cracked up, laughing airily for a moment before sitting up.

Then he turned serious.

"Are you scared?"

I expelled air in a rush, "It's not going to be easy; that much I know."

He seemed to consider this. I found myself wondering why we were having this conversation; why now? Why so carelessly and casually?

"At least you won't be alone," Kakarot said at last.

"That I won't," I sighed, "And what will you do when this is all over, Kakarot? One way or the other?"

He knew I meant whether he ended up with a third heir or whether my dream from the other night became real.

He bit his lip thoughtfully. I expected him to either say vaguely that he'd do this or that, or to say that he didn't know again.

"I'll do what I have to." he said steadily.

Well, you couldn't get much more vague than that.

"And you?" he queried, blinking at me.

"I'll either spend the next eighteen years or so trying not to screw up the completely unfamiliar process of raising a child, or I'll never speak to anyone again and crawl into a hole and die," I said bluntly, bordering on mocking; "What a bright future."

"Oh come on, it won't end like that." Kakarot protested.

"Those are the only two options, Kakarot. Succeed or fail, either way I lose."

"You only lose if you don't succeed," he said simply, "That's the definition of failure."

I thought about that. He had a point.

There was a moment of utter silence. I could almost hear myself think, and I realized I could hear Kakarot purring again, trying instinctively to ease my nerves for me.

If only it were that easy.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 15

A few days went by. Kakarot stayed, claiming that his wife - excuse me, his _ex-_wife now - could look after his sons just fine while he was here. I often wondered why he stayed. I hadn't asked him to; at least not verbally, and I couldn't force him to either way. There was a faint level of concern that was implied by him sticking around, but it wasn't by Kakarot's choice. He didn't seem to be fighting the urge to protect me anymore, and I wasn't sure if I was happy about that. Maybe it was because I wished he actually _did_ care, not just that he _acted_ like he did.

And so the weekend came and Bulma and Trunks both left; the woman had to go on a business trip for the weekend and Trunks was going to his grandparents' house again. Kakarot and I were alone in the house. Not always the same room, but I was aware of him; trying to occupy his time rather awkwardly, as if he had better things to do but couldn't make himself do them. Bulma had said that he could stay as long as he needed and to make himself at home, but that didn't mean he was suddenly going to fit in here.

Meanwhile, my old enemy morning sickness returned with a vengeance, which really did a number on my Saiyan appetite. There were times when I would ask Kakarot to go out to eat alone so I wouldn't have to see or smell anything cooking. And I felt tired all the time. I felt rather useless, like I was just a waste of space and I wasn't accomplishing anything, which was _very_ unusual for me considering my image of myself. But yes, I would look out the window to see Kakarot training and feel my insides twist with envy. He had nothing tying him down, contrary to his belief of being "forced" or "enslaved". At least he could rely on his own body not to betray him; I couldn't say the same for myself.

Saturday morning, and it rained cats and dogs, as they say here on Earth. Two Saiyans stuck under one roof; one with insane mood swings and the inability to even hear the sound of butter frying without feeling nauseous, the other with limitless energy and strength who was suffering a love/hate relationship that caused him to be bitter and unpredictable…. What could possibly go wrong?

But Kakarot didn't seem fazed. He managed to pry me away from my bedroom with a crowbar – not literally, but that was about how much effort it took – and set up one of the woman's comforters on the living room floor before Capsule Corp's state-of-the-art flat screen television, stacking a bunch of DVDs on the floor in front of me.

"What's all this about?" I muttered, flipping one of the thin boxes over to read the back.

"This is what ChiChi does on rainy days; it's the only way to get the boys to behave when they're both stuck inside." He explained, sitting down on the blanket and leaning against the couch behind him.

"And you assume you have to pull out the big guns to get me to 'behave'?" I shot him a look that said quite plainly: '_really?'_

"No," he said simply, "But it beats sitting around doing nothing."

I had to agree with him there. But seriously? Resorting to human entertainment to keep Saiyans from being bored? Wasn't that stooping a little _too_ low?

"Trust me," he said steadily.

I glanced at him upon hearing those seemingly-innocent words, surprised to find that I _did_ trust him; despite everything he'd done and said.

As it turns out, Kakarot had a good eye for movies. I'd never even heard of most of them – probably because I'd spent more than half my life on another planet – and I think I first realized I was actually having fun when I caught myself laughing at the cheap comedy in "_Monty Python and_ _The Holy Grail"_, which Kakarot claimed was a classic, though I didn't believe him; the whole thing was a big long string of nonsense.

I should have given the younger Saiyan more credit. He said that his ex always made enough popcorn to feed an army when she did this, but he didn't follow her there, knowing the sound and smell would upset my fragile appetite. Instead he proffered a bowl of fruit – saying that Bulma suggested it for the nausea - and soda instead of beer; I think that speaks for itself.

So about halfway into the movie, I loosened up a bit.

"Kakarot," I prompted.

"Hmm?" he asked around the lip of his soda can.

"Can you explain something to me?"

He set the can down and turned his attention to me, "Sure, what?"

"If humans can create time machines and super computers and capsule technology, why go through all the trouble to make things like this?" I gestured at the screen where some elaborate yet painfully idiotic joke was being played out.

"Well it was made a long time ago," Kakarot said smoothly, "Just for fun. Besides, not all humans can make stuff like that."

He was silent a moment.

"What's your point?" he asked eventually, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing, I'm just curious as to how humans have survived this long if they invest their time in something as asinine as 'The Knights of Ni'."

Kakarot blinked; then he burst out laughing.

"What's funny?" I muttered, crossing my arms.

"Sorry Vegeta, but that was just so _you."_ he chuckled.

Much of the day passed this way, and while the rain hammered on the windows relentlessly, we went through much of Bulma's movie stash – which I didn't even know she had. Kakarot was civil, even friendly, the whole time and I found myself in a particularly good mood.

One of the movies ended and Kakarot stretched after sitting so long, ready to get up and put in a new disc. I didn't even notice that I was staring openly as his perfect vanilla skin moved flawlessly over chiseled muscle as he stretched, a wisp of chilly musk found its way into my nostrils. And, ironically, though that was the one smell that had gotten me in huge trouble over and over, it was also the only one that didn't make me feel nauseous. He turned to look at me, probably about to ask what we should watch next, and I didn't think. I just leaned across the space between us and laid a kiss on him.

I shouldn't have been surprised that he pushed me away, but I was. I made a small sound of protest and tried to move toward him again; he stood and looked down at me.

"No, Vegeta." he said. I'd expected him to be mad or at least disapproving, but his voice was like a sigh, he sounded tired.

"Why?" I found myself asking. He hadn't exactly been eager lately, but he hadn't discouraged anything else I'd done.

He blinked once, "Did you think we were –? That you could just -?" he sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose frustratedly, "It's only ever lead to trouble in the past. And I always end up regretting it."

"Why?" I asked again, standing up as well. Something in the back of my conscience was telling me to quit while I was ahead and just zip it, but the rest of me just _didn't understand_ why he was refusing.

He looked like he could have snarled, but he kept his face expressionless.

"I don't like to say no to you," he said slowly, as if explaining to a child, "It makes my head hurt and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. But I draw the line here. I'll stay with you; I'll protect you and help you get through this. I'll even cook your meals, if you like. But I'll go no further. I don't want it to end up like last time." His eyes fell meaningfully on the dark bite mark on my shoulder.

Oh. I should have realized. He didn't want to be claimed, and he knew that was what would happen if I had my way. It seemed selfish of him, after all I hadn't exactly had a say before he'd claimed me, but I supposed I could understand. That didn't mean I had to like it.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 16

Trunks and Bulma returned two days later, and Kakarot had gone back to not speaking to me again. I wanted to punch something. Was it so hard to just look me in the eye once in a while? Was it so hard to mutter a greeting at least in passing? Was it _really_ such a big deal that I kissed him again _once?_ Now I was right back where I started. Except now Kakarot would be wary of me and wouldn't be so careless to fall for what he must have seen as a sneak attack. _Dammit, I'm going in circles._

So I stayed away from him mostly. And, surprisingly, I spent a lot of my time with Trunks. He seemed to have endless stories to tell and didn't seem to care who was listening or whether they were interested. I didn't much like – or pay attention to - the chatter, but at least his company was dependable and comforting. Also, it gave me a lot of time to think.

One night, after about a week of this, Bulma gave me another ultrasound-thingy. I can't say I was too pleased about this – the whole process was extremely awkward to be honest – but it would give me a chance to get away from Kakarot and his antisocial behavior. Over the past two months, that thought had never once crossed my mind; the thought that I _wouldn't_ want to be around him, but now the times I was away from the younger Saiyan were the more pleasant ones.

So while the woman chattered on about development and comparison of a Saiyan embryo to a human, the usual, I gave my mind a chance to rest and just zoned her out.

She interrupted my reverie by asking me a direct question, however.

"Did you know you could probably pick up the sound of the heartbeat with a Doppler device by now?" she seemed to expect me to just shrug and mutter something like I usually would.

I blinked at her, "It has a heartbeat?"

Bulma looked at me and laughed lightly, "Of course, Vegeta. Everybody does."

She started to say something else and I shushed her impatiently, listening hard.

With my Saiyan senses, I didn't need to resort to human technology to hear the faint - but audible -thump of a tiny pulse. It was more like a pattering sound, to be blunt, and next to my own heartbeat it was almost imperceptible. But it was present.

"Was it always there?" I asked after a moment, my voice hushed in astonishment.

"No, the heart only recently developed and started circulating blood," the woman began, "but…wait, Vegeta, can you actually _hear _it?" she sounded slightly shocked, slightly disbelieving.

I snorted haughtily, "Yes, woman. Saiyan senses are more acute than your dull human ones."

"Wow, that's amazing!" Bulma said cheerfully.

Right then, I remembered why that woman had always irritated me. She was always either spewing scientific nonsense or squealing in either excitement or terror. Gods, I hated that squealing.

I pulled my shirt back on once the woman had removed her equipment and rubbed the gel off my stomach. I had a rather tough time getting the bottom of the garment to stay at my waistline, and Bulma seemed to notice.

"Ridiculous," I muttered, "Barely even showing, and I can't fit in my damn clothes."

She gave a short sound of amusement and I almost slapped her.

"Well then you shouldn't wear everything spandex," she said once she'd contained her merriment, then she tossed a loose black T-shirt at me and left with her usual happy-go-lucky wave in farewell.

I glanced at the shirt in my lap. _Why didn't I think of that myself…?_

Shedding the tight spandex top and putting on the T-shirt, I slid off the medical table and left the room.

X

There's one day I can remember particularly clearly. It started out the usual way. Kakarot was being a little more social; he'd said about three sentences to me in one sitting at least, and I was in a good mood with my ki higher than it had been all week. I was walking down the stairs, planning on asking the woman something and thinking about Trunks's latest escapade from school and how that would affect his already dismal grades… something I didn't usually do, when I stumbled. It was so careless of me that I didn't even think to try to catch myself, expecting to fall three flights before hitting the ground painfully.

What I didn't expect was for a pair of powerful hands to catch me, crossing over my chest from behind to keep me from falling. I glanced over my shoulder and felt a shiver of unease, or maybe grudging longing, slither down my spine. Kakarot had caught me. He started to let me go when I found my balance and his hand brushed against my left shoulder accidentally, where the loose collar of my T-shirt had slipped to reveal the bare skin of my neck and scapula – something that wouldn't even have happened if I were wearing my usual spandex.

I suppose you're wondering why I grant this any particular importance, reader. Let me rephrase this to refresh your memory. The younger Saiyan's hand grazed the bare skin of my left shoulder…._right where he'd bitten me two weeks ago._ I remembered the pleasure I got when I touched the mark myself. That was nothing – zilch, nada, zero, _nothing -_ compared to when the other Saiyan touched it. The contact was like a mini-orgasm, and I very nearly fell down the stairs again just from the sheer sensation of it.

Instead I just stood there, breathing roughly; my head slightly tilted back, my knees shivering. Holy gods, if it felt like this when he _barely_ touched it, what must it feel like if he…? I didn't get to finish the thought. I turned around without commanding myself to do so and grabbed the taller Saiyan by the thick black spikes that were his bangs, attacking his unsuspecting mouth almost desperately. All this without even asking _myself_ for permission.

Kakarot tensed and made a muffled sound of protest, attempting to break my grip on his hair. I took the scrabbling hand almost romantically in my own and folded the twined hands between our chests so I could kiss him harder. I heard a crackling sound, like lightning or static, and opened my eyes a little. Kakarot's bright, angry blue eye glared back - his lips were still in my possession or he'd be snarling – thin strands of lightning eddied across his skin; one lock of golden hair tumbled down his forehead while the rest stood erect like flames. I'd never seen him more beautiful, or more terrifying. His soft, addicting lips tasted even sweeter when he was in the deadly form of Ascended Super Saiyan; a strange irony that was not lost on me.

The hand that wasn't sandwiched between our bodies snaked around and grabbed my shoulder to push me away. The four glowing digits that were his supercharged fingers clamped down on the bite mark that had started this whole thing, as if aware of the reaction they'd cause. A primal moan ripped from my throat as the wild sensation of pleasure tripled, and I released Kakarot's mouth for a moment. A moment was all he needed.

He wrenched his now-blonde hair out of my grasp and backed up two or three stairs hastily, out of reach. He crouched in a battle stance, his naked teeth revealed in a feral snarl.

"Dammit, Vegeta, _I told you no!"_ he shouted.

I blinked once, twice, my head clearing almost as quickly as it had fogged over with desire three seconds ago. I met the younger Saiyan's smoldering turquoise eyes pleadingly, but I knew I wouldn't be getting a second chance. Or maybe this was my third, I'd lost count.

"Kakarot, I-" I began; I swallowed, "I d-didn't mean to, I swear –"

His snarl deepened a few degrees, "It doesn't matter; I. Told. You. _No._"

"Make up your mind!" I shot back without thinking, "_You_ kissed me first, remember? Every fiber in your body is telling me yes, only _you_ keep saying no!"

"And for good reason!" he growled.

"_What reason?"_ I retorted, "You've got nothing to be scared of, _you're _the one that got _me_ pregnant!"

"I'm not scared of anything!" he snarled.

"_Prove_ it!" I screamed; my voice cracked but I didn't relent, "_Prove_ you're not terrified that I'll bite you back! _Prove_ you're not dead-scared of commitment of any kind! _Prove_ you're not just too afraid to be in love with me! Prove it, Kakarot, 'cause I'm sure not seeing it!"

"You want proof?" He wasn't shouting anymore, but his voice was like the blade of a knife.

And with that, he brought his weapon of a hand back and slapped me hard across the cheek. He'd slapped me before to wake me up when my ki was gone, but this was an act of pure, unfiltered hatred. I could feel it in the electrifying contact of the skin that had so turned me on just moments ago.

I froze; my eyes wide. My next breath almost didn't come, and I choked on it when it did.

I heard hurried footsteps in almost the same instant that Bulma and Trunks skidded into the room downstairs.

"What's going on you two?" Bulma demanded, "Between the shouting and the powering up I could feel the house shaking all the way in the lab!"

"Dad, you're bleeding!" Trunks added.

My hand found my cheek where Kakarot had slapped me. The skin had broken in several places under the force of the blow and the ragged surface was slicked and hot with blood.

"It's over, Vegeta." Kakarot growled. Without another word he IT'd away in a blur of lightning and energy.

There was a moment's ringing silence.

"He's just saying that," Bulma said shakily after a while.

I said nothing, but I felt like someone had torn out my heart with their bare hands.

One thing I knew for sure was that Kakarot was definitely _not_ "just saying that".

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 17

It had to have ended somewhere, somehow. I kept telling myself that as I walked down the stairs numbly. Kakarot had been right about one thing; that half-relationship we'd had could never have lasted. One way or the other, it would have had to end. And apparently he'd chosen to break it off easily by running away _again._ Only this time he wouldn't come back on his own. Not after all that. He had his pride too, much as I didn't want to admit it.

I sat down heavily in an armchair, not trusting myself to stand. I'd ruined everything. All of it was my fault. If I hadn't done such stupid things I would never have ended up pregnant, Kakarot would never have hated me, and I wouldn't be in this mess at all.

_I have to get him to take me back._ Though the thought seemed extremely unlikely, bordering on impossible, it was the one that gave me the most comfort. At least I had a goal, however far-fetched and painful it may be.

Trunks sat down next to me and Bulma gently washed the blood off my face with a washcloth. I expressed my gratitude in a short nod before letting my head fall back with a long sigh.

Where to go from here? I could track Kakarot down like I had in the past and beg him to forgive me; but that would be an arduous task that may prove fatal if I lost my ki again. Besides, I wouldn't know what to say. Then… what should I do?

An idea leapt to my mind without my consent. _I could make him jealous._ I'd already proved that he responded to my being in trouble because he'd claimed me. I'd also proved on that one time when I kissed Gohan that….

I leapt to my feet, a plan already falling together in my head.

"Vegeta, where are you going?" Bulma asked.

"I… uh, I have to go fix this." At least that was the truth.

"Good," Bulma nodded, "You're taking responsibility for your situation, finally."

"Do what you've gotta do," Trunks added.

Oh, if they only knew what I had in mind, they'd beg me not to go.

X

"Gohan!" I shouted, landing at the apartment that was where Kakarot's wife was living. I knew I'd find the demi there by his ki signature, "Come out, I need to talk to you!"

A few seconds passed and he slid the balcony door open and flew down to me. I had a slightly amusing thought about what the humans would think if they saw him.

"Hey Vegeta," he greeted me good-naturedly, "What's up?"

"Obviously not me," I muttered distractedly, using one of Kakarot's favorite responses to that question without realizing it, "Listen, Gohan, I'm going to need your help."

He looked at me warily, "Do you need me to kiss you again?"

"No," I said quickly, "But…. See, I kind of made Kakarot really angry and he ran off. I need to make him jealous so he'll take me back."

"What did you have in mind?" I was surprised for a moment that he wasn't opposed to the idea; but then I reasoned that he probably wanted to get back at his father for attacking him before.

"Well, Kakarot reacts when I'm in trouble because of _this_," I showed him the bite mark.

"So you want me to attack you?" He butted in.

"No, stop interrupting," I said impatiently, "He also responded when you and I kissed. Almost desperately so," Gohan nodded, obviously remembering, "So I need to take that up a notch."

"You don't mean -?" he blurted, looking alarmed.

"Relax, I don't mean it like that," I said hurriedly, realizing he'd come to the wrong conclusion, "I need you to let me bite you."

"W-what?"

"It won't hurt, I promise. And I won't be trying to mate with you so it shouldn't have any lasting damage on anyone. All it should do is make Kakarot come flying over here in a rage begging me to come back."

He still looked nervous, "Uh… okay, if you say so. As long as you and I won't end up –"

"I won't be trying to claim you, so it won't affect you or I."

"Are you sure?" he looked at me sideways.

I swallowed. I wasn't sure, but I needed to appear so or he'd refuse.

I nodded, hoping for confidence.

He hesitated a moment more, then slowly rolled down the collar of his shirt, exposing his left shoulder.

I braced my hands on his shoulders gently, "I promise," I repeated, "I won't hurt you."

_If anything, this should feel good._ I kept the thought secret, but I hoped my eyes would show I meant what I said.

Gohan's pale skin trembled against my lips as I pressed them to the juncture of his neck and shoulder.

When I felt the time was right, I let my canines slide out and pierce the demi's skin; forcing myself not to put the intent to claim him into the bite.

Almost instantly, there was a double reaction. Gohan flinched and made a low sound of pain, trying to pull away. In the same instant that I was surprised by this – being bitten had felt amazing for me – a trickle of blood washed across my tongue and I was literally thrown backward. It was as if I were a repelling magnet that physically couldn't touch the half-Saiyan. Agony reverberated through me, eliciting a ragged shout from my throat; the pain emanated from the circular scar of the bite mark on my shoulder. I fell to my knees, clawing at the mark in an attempt to satiate the crawling sensation but only managing to draw blood. Gohan still stood, bleeding, above me.

In almost the exact same moment, I _heard_ in my head an aching roar of fury and loss and felt Kakarot's distant ki spike alarmingly. Then he appeared in front of me, just like that. I didn't have time to even move before he attacked me.

X

The scenery whirled as Kakarot teleported all three of us to a location I didn't recognize; devoid of people or life of any kind. He didn't even seem conscious that he had done any such thing.

Kakarot's grip on my throat was unforgiving; like a vise that just wouldn't let go no matter what I did. He was at level three of Super Saiyan, waves of golden hair cascading down his back in a feral mane. His eyes, fixed on mine, were like chips of ice. He said nothing, breathing harshly between his teeth as he throttled me; his ki was so high I could literally _feel_ it searing my skin.

Gohan snapped to attention, attempting in vain to call his father off. The taller Saiyan didn't even look at him as he whacked him upside the head with a sickening _smacking_ sound. The demi crumpled to the dirt without a sound and stayed there. I wondered distantly if he had even survived a blow like that.

I was conscious that my eyes were stinging with tears of confusion, anger, and pure abject terror. Every time the younger Saiyan got within an inch of me the now-reopened bite mark on my shoulder throbbed and stung, as if rejecting his presence. Still his grip did not concede, and I was aware that I was suffocating, my vision blurring dimly.

"K-Ka-kar-ot…" I forced out weakly, "P-please… don't…. _please,_ t-the ba-by,"

I think I expected him to ignore my plea, but I also half-expected him to apologize and release me.

His voice was emotionless and severe, almost too quiet for me to register.

"Not this time, Vegeta," he hissed, "You're in way over your head now."

"I swear, I... I d-didn't know –" I sobbed.

"Didn't know what?" he snapped cruelly, "That I'd be upset? That I'd find you so quickly? That I wouldn't just let you go and forgive you like I have _countless_ times before? You're all out of second chances, Vegeta. No more."

His fingers tightened on my windpipe again and I felt my vision flicker. _This is it. I'm going to die._ I drew a shallow, shaky breath and reached out towards Kakarot's face, still beautiful even contorted with rage. I traced a trembling hand distantly down his cheek, praying for the strength to choke out four more words. The last he'd hear from me.

"I… I l-love you, K-Kaka…rot…."

I waited for my breathing to stop and my vision to turn black for the last time. I waited to be sent back to Hell again. I waited to feel the tiny ki dot inside me vanish once and for all.

I was aware that I was falling, as if in limbo, down, down, ever downwards. But I didn't hit the ground. No, someone stopped my fall. Someone with unfathomable strength hidden behind gentle hands. _Kakarot,_ I smiled and snuggled closer to the strong body next to mine, knowing it was just a figment of my imagination but not really caring. An eternity in Kakarot's arms – real or not – was a good afterlife for me.

Something wet landed on my face and I flinched. I opened one eye, expecting to see an endless void stretching forever like I'd seen the other two times I'd died. My vision wavered and congealed into Kakarot's tear-streaked face, pressed close to my own. His icy eyes had faded back to black, as had his long golden hair, and he was whispering things. Soft, soothing things gently murmured in my ear, his tears falling on my face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he repeated over and over, one hand stroking through my hair, "Oh gods, Vegeta, I'm so sorry…."

I managed to force my vocal cords to produce sound. Coherent words even.

"Y-you're just… saying that… because… of t-the mark," I whispered.

He blinked down at me, as if surprised to hear my reply.

Then he shook his head quickly, holding me closer.

"The bond... was severed… when you bit my son," he murmured, his breath hot on my ear.

I felt my heart flutter. Wait. I _was_ dead, right?

"Kakarot, why are you in Hell too?" I asked thinly.

"In Hell?" he queried, sitting back to look at me, "What are you talking about?"

"I died, didn't I?"

He looked horrified by the very idea.

"N-no, no," he said swiftly, as if trying to reassure himself, "Of course not."

"Then… why aren't you still trying to strangle me?"

He winced, "I… I realized I could have killed you..."

"But you… said such terrible things," I protested.

"I know," he said miserably, "I'm sorry. I… I'm sorry for doing that to you. I just… I didn't…"

"What are you trying to say?" I asked carefully, finding the strength to sit up.

"I…. I love you, Vegeta."

My breath caught, but I refused to be fooled twice.

"You've already said that." I said rigidly.

"I know. I was… I was afraid…. of feeling this way…. I… I didn't want to mess up. I didn't want to let you down… and I was afraid of myself. I didn't know what I was feeling and it scared me senseless…."

Two months ago, I would have happily put on one of Bulma's frilly pink dresses if it meant I got to hear those words – yes, the one with the flowers, even – but now I wasn't so sure I believed them. Kakarot had run me in circles too often.

"How do I know… if I can believe you, Kakarot?"

He looked offended and slightly hurt.

"How do I know you won't just run off again when things get tough?" I pressed on, "How do I know I can rely on you?"

His eyes dropped to the ground. Then he drew me close to him so my ear was flat against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat twining with mine, automatically synching rhythms; and in the background I could hear the minuscule patter of the baby's pulse on every other beat.

Magic. I wished I could believe it would stay like this. I wished I could pretend and just go where Kakarot lead. But I wasn't that person anymore. I had stumbled so many times that I'd forgotten how to get back up on my own.

"As long as it takes, as many times as you or I fail alone or together, I swear to the gods I'll be there for you." He murmured steadily, "Not because I have to, but because I want to… I _need_ to. I need you, Vegeta. And I want you to need me."

I looked up at his face slowly, barely believing my ears. It was as if he knew _exactly_ what I needed to hear. He couldn't read my mind anymore because I'd severed the mating bond – however one-sided it had been in the first place – he just _knew._

And then, as if he knew he needed to prove he was sincere, he gently took my face in his hands and kissed me. It wasn't like the animalistic, thrilling kisses he'd given before. This was a promise. A sweet, honest promise that he meant what he said.

And I found the answer where I'd never expect to find it. As Kakarot's lips made contact with mine, the baby's ki rose warmly and pulsed once, like a kick. Well, I had its approval, I had Kakarot's approval; all I needed was my own.

I could have said I loved him back. But I'd already said that once. I had to say what _he_ needed to hear now.

So I broke the gentle contact of the chaste kiss and looked him in the eye.

"I trust you, Kakarot."

He hugged me compassionately with a small smile, saying without words that he understood. I lay my head on his shoulder slowly, and I knew as I listened to his genuine purring that everything would be alright now.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 18

I didn't remember when Kakarot had teleported his son and I back to his house, nor when he gently laid the unconscious demi on the sofa and covered him with a blanket. But I did remember feeling a very large amount of relief throughout the whole thing; an almost inconceivable amount of relief, even. Finally it seemed Kakarot had forgiven me… had forgiven _himself _and allowed himself to feel what he had buried too deep to acknowledge before. Maybe now everything would be okay. No more conflict, no more hate. Maybe….

I blinked and looked around. I hadn't been aware of following the younger Saiyan upstairs, but I found myself sitting next to him on a bed, my gaze fixed on the floor.

As if sensing my thoughts' return to the present, he broke the silence softly.

"Vegeta… I really am sorry, you know." he murmured, trying to meet my eye without success.

"I know." I nodded twice, "I forgive you."

That was really all that needed to be said, but Kakarot only hesitated a moment before speaking again.

"I wish I could just… start over…."

I nodded again; I'd caught myself wishing the same thing countless times over the years.

I wished I could tell Kakarot what was on my mind. That I seriously doubted this was even reality; that I expected to wake up at any moment to him still hating me. But I couldn't say that. It would sound stupid coming from anyone, especially from me.

I closed my eyes, breathing out my frustration in a slow sigh. I felt the contact of a body behind me and I looked up. Kakarot had his arms around me and was hugging me with his head resting on my shoulder. It took me a moment to realize he was crying into my shirt silently. I opened my mouth to say something, but I was at a loss. I'd never seen him cry before; I had often wondered if he even remembered how to.

I found my voice and asked quietly, "Kakarot, what's wrong?"

"Everything," the word was muffled against the fabric of my shirt, but I could hear the defeat in those three syllables.

"I-it's okay," I said shakily, trying to convince myself as much as him.

One dark, dark eye met mine for a second or two before blinking slowly and fluttering closed.

"I feel… lost, Vegeta," he confided in almost a whisper, "When the mark stopped working, I felt like it was eating me alive… I couldn't feel you anymore… And now, I just… I feel empty…."

I tried to think what it would be like to have access to every piece, every _essence_ of someone; and then have that torn away without warning. As usual, my imagination failed me.

"I'm sorry I did that to you," I said honestly, "I… I shouldn't have taken it so far…"

He turned me around so that I was facing him, sitting on the bed. He took me in his arms and hugged me to his chest, as if trying to meld us into one being by touch alone. Then he dipped his head down and kissed me gently on my forehead.

"I don't know if it can be fixed," he whispered against my skin, "But I'd be willing to try."

I looked into his endless black eyes above me, "How?"

"It wasn't mutual before… I didn't have your consent, and the mark wasn't completed…." He said quietly, "Maybe if we do it right…"

"If…." I swallowed, "Kakarot, if we mate you won't be able to take it back. It'll be for keeps this time."

The intensity in his gaze almost scared me, "I know."

I shifted a little, _this is it…._

"I won't refuse," I said steadily, "There was never any question. But I don't want you to do something you'll regret, Kakarot."

Flashes of the past - of that first senseless sin with the younger Saiyan, of him circling me weeks later, of his teeth sinking into my skin - flashed before my eyes.

I met his eyes nervously, knowing I'd find the answers in their ebony depths.

He looked right back without blinking, his black bangs shadowing his face.

"I won't regret becoming one with you, Vegeta. I wanted to start over, this is my chance."

I dropped my gaze back to the sheets I clenched in my fingers. I nodded with as much conviction as I could summon.

"Now," Kakarot drew a deep breath through his nose, "It's time."

X

Kakarot's lips latched onto mine, almost searchingly. I knew he was trying to recreate the scenario from before – he couldn't very well just bite and be done with it. I almost voiced my disappointment when his hand brushed against the healing scar on my shoulder and there was no reaction. It was just like any other of the numerous scars that I already carried now.

I lay back against the pillows, pulling Kakarot down over me so that he was astride my waist. He looked at me uncertainly.

"You're sure?" he queried, "I wouldn't mind if you'd rather–"

I cut him off with a brief kiss, "I'm sure."

"Will it… will it hurt the baby?" he asked tentatively.

I searched myself quickly; then shook my head.

His black eyes scanned over me slowly, he was biting his lip, obviously thinking hard.

"Don't think about anything," I commanded him softly, "Don't question it; act on it. Just like the first time."

He shook his head, "That first time was just sex; just mindless fucking. It's not the same. I don't want to have sex. I want to make love."

I shivered when he said that; the fire in his eyes, the sureness of his voice, the heat of his skin; gods, just…. _everything_ about him was perfect.

"And then," he leaned close to me so that his face was an inch from mine, "I want to make you my mate again… and I want you to make me yours."

What did I have to say, what did I have to _do_, to get him to make those words real? Anything in the universe – name it – I'd do it.

I didn't have to reply, for Kakarot's lips enveloped mine again; they tasted so sweet I probably would have eaten them whole if they weren't constantly moving. I felt the press of his hot, wet tongue searching for entry, and I parted my lips to let the sleek muscle in. Every touch was gentle, compassionate, and confident; nothing like the rough, irrational contact he'd shown before, but just as incredible… maybe more.

His fingers knotted in the sheets next to me, the strong, supple muscles of his jeans-clad legs tautening around my own. And every breath he expelled was beautiful; every drop of sweat, every slight tremor of passion was immaculate.

"Gods, I want you," he moaned, "I _need _you," his mouth found the side of my neck and he nuzzled and kissed the sensitive flesh slowly, a deep purr rumbling from his chest.

I was surprised my voice didn't shake when I responded.

"So take me," I breathed, locking my arms around his neck and drawing him – if possible – even closer to me.

I felt his hardness pressed against my thigh through the fabric of his pants and mine, if that was any indication. I was hard and throbbing as well; but pinned beneath the larger Saiyan, there wasn't a whole lot I could do about that.

As Kakarot attacked my mouth again, he gradually slid my loose black T-shirt off and tossed it aside; looking down with fascination at the exposed skin below him as if seeing me for the first time. His unapologetic gaze would have made me uncomfortable if he were anyone else, but it actually made me feel safe and loved coming from him.

He trailed a hand slowly from my collarbone to the bottom of my ribcage, making me tremble. There he hesitated a moment, exploring the shallow convex curve and now less clearly defined grooves and valleys of muscle that chiseled my abdomen. His expression didn't change until he reached the waistband of my spandex leggings, where it became one of anticipation, eagerness…

I urged him on by arching into his hand slightly with a soft, plaintive sound.

That small action earned me having the pants shredded to ribbons – and remember, tearing spandex is _not_ easy. The degree to which Kakarot held himself back was astounding. It was as if every molecule in his body was begging him to burn the remaining clothing and take what was his, but he held a tight rein of control. I resolved suddenly to do anything I could to break that control. What would it take to get him to give in?

He lay so that his chest actually touched mine for a moment, the wide surface vibrating with his purring. I took advantage of his hands leaving mine to whip his blue gi shirt off. His eyes snapped to mine and he leaned down slowly, closing his lips over mine with a hint of tongue. A fluttering breath left me with a soft moan, my eyes slipping closed.

Kakarot smirked and kissed me again briefly before sitting back. He slid out of his jeans in one fluid motion, and then lay straddling my waist again; his naked erection brushing my midsection.

He spat in his hand before leaning in to reclaim my lips. The hand slicked down his own length once and then moved away. I nearly bit through his lower lip with a groan when I felt the touch of something hot and hard pressing against my sensitive entrance. Responding to a wordless command, Kakarot thrust forward slowly, soothing any pain with an enchanting kiss. I shivered uncontrollably, suffocating under the pressure and heat and overwhelming contact as if it were the first time. And it kind of was. The first time like this, anyway.

Kakarot waited but a moment for me to adjust, and then he began to _move._ Lithe and agile as a wild creature, he drove in once, twice, his lips never leaving my own. He was still purring, but every time he hit home, the rumble would catch before starting up again, like a hiccup. I moaned into his mouth as he moved this way; almost one continuous sound that simply changed octave and volume without ceasing.

The vibrating purr in the younger Saiyan's chest became rougher suddenly, more throaty like a growl. He broke the contact of the enthralling kiss and moved his mouth slowly to my left shoulder.

I flinched as his moist lips touched the cracked scar there. I could feel a pressure building, like every ounce of my ki was gathering in the dormant mark beneath Kakarot's lips.

But he didn't bite. His breath was coming in ragged pants and the growl was deepening in his throat, but he went no further. The pressure turned to an ache, a center of raw desire and need pulsing from the scar.

"K-Kakarot," I begged breathlessly, "Pl-please,"

He blinked and looked up, his open mouth suspended a few inches above the mark that was positively screaming for release.

"Do it," I groaned, arching against him again, straining for contact, "Do it _now!_"

He watched me for a moment more before turning back to the task at hand. Slowly, hesitantly, he lowered his lips to the mark, kissing it once before rolling his lips back. The half-inch canine's perforated the skin gradually, sliding back into the same holes from before. Each individual tooth fit like a glove. The aching pressure beneath my skin kept building and building until – like a dam – it broke when a rush of blood filled Kakarot's mouth.

I thought I was ready for it this time, but nothing prepared me for the sensation that crashed over me. Last time it had been a wave of blind pleasure. This was more. This was a flash flood of belonging and pride streaking through my veins; along with the surge of zinging ecstasy that made my head spin as I screamed, waiting for my climax to roar through me…. But it didn't. Not yet. I teetered on the cusp of orgasm for a long moment; and then growled, sat up – driving Kakarot to sit up as well - and instinctively plunged my own teeth into his shoulder.

His canines wrenched out of my skin as his head snapped up. His eyes clouded over as my teeth dug deeper into the muscle, releasing an inundation of blood that rushed past my lips. I moaned low in my throat at the stirring taste of Kakarot himself. It was sharp and passionate and powerful, and I damn near came just from the flavor, if not the new sensations and emotions washing over me. Protectiveness, loyalty, compassion, devotion, love. At first I thought I was finally feeling all the things Kakarot felt about me… but then I realized the emotions were all my own. In claiming him, I took responsibility for him in the most complete sense. It was a new and amazing feeling; to have something that was mine. Something – some_one -_ I could protect. Someone that needed me.

And then I felt him. Every memory, every feeling; every thought that made up Kakarot's entire being rushed through me. I knew what he dreamt of at night, I knew what he feared, I knew what he cherished, and what or who he was willing to die for. But it wasn't that I just looked at these thoughts and emotions. It was more like they became a part of me; like they were mine as well as his.

I let my teeth slide out of Kakarot's shoulder and looked him in the eye; the new information and sensations filling me to the point of bursting. He made as if to move, and I sensed his intention a moment before he did. The exact moment that he thrust inside me again with all the power he had, I closed my mouth over his, letting the blood staining our lips and teeth mingle deliciously. And in the space of that one moment, we both tensed and came in unison, our lips still connected with bruising intensity as we shouted into each other's mouths. It was almost like we were one being. One entity. The shining moment lasted a second and an eternity, too long and much too short at the same time. At last we broke apart and sat back – I winced as Kakarot pulled out of me – both of us panting and sweating.

When I caught my breath, or at least some of it, I managed to speak.

"D-did it… feel like that for you last time…?"

He shook his head, sweat flicking from his hair as he did, "If it had… I would never have left."

Gods, he sounded even more worn out than me; probably because he essentially did all the work.

I looked at him, my gaze falling on the new mark on his right shoulder which was bleeding profusely. He didn't seem to mind. I glanced down and saw a very similar mark on my left shoulder, slightly overlapping the original scar. It didn't even hurt, though it did give out a random stab of lingering pleasure now and again.

So. Now we were mates. And before the year was up we might have a child – if the fifty percent odds went in my favor, that is. I wondered absently – assuming I got out of this alive and without too much misery – if I might have more children someday. I wondered if I _could._ And I wondered what Kakarot would think about that.

A new thought dawned on me and I couldn't help smiling as it did. Kakarot was my family now. And if the baby survived, it would be my family too.

I hadn't thought this way since Planet Vegeta had been destroyed some fifty-odd years ago. I hadn't thought about belonging or having a family. The closest I'd come was with the woman and Trunks, but this was entirely different.

I felt like all of this was meant to be; because Kakarot and I were the only ones that could give the universe new full-blooded Saiyans. And maybe my race wouldn't die out after all if we did.

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 19

I woke up slowly, blinking away the scattered pieces of the dream still lingering in my mind. I couldn't tell you what it was about, just suffice to say I did dream. I took a moment to come to full awareness, and nearly jumped out of my skin to realize I was by no means alone. A steady, warm body was pressed against my back, a strong arm behind my head while the other embraced me across my chest; one long, limber leg slightly crooked over my own. I could hear and feel the deep throb of a purr and realized it was Kakarot that was holding me this way. Once I realized this, I wondered how I could possibly have missed the sweet, yet subzero musk wreathing around me like a second blanket. I inhaled gradually, savoring the scent and sensation that was so contradictory, yet so fulfilling. I'd wanted to be held like this for so long, and I prayed that it wasn't just another elaborate dream of a hormone-confused mind.

Kakarot stirred against me; his grip tightening briefly, and then loosening as he raised his head. I was conscious that he was naked – as I was – and for some reason that didn't unnerve me or even make me blush.

Our eyes met for a moment, and I was assured that this was no dream. Soulful, black eyes holding more honesty and promise than I could measure even if I had a lifetime to do so.

Kakarot lay back down after a second, his hair tickling my neck as he did.

"Sleep well?" he mumbled into my shoulder.

I nodded, and then reminded myself that he couldn't see it from where he was.

"Mhm," I said quietly, almost a sigh.

We were silent for a long while. I just enjoyed the contact of skin on skin and tried hard to memorize it; wondering if I'd ever get enough of it.

"Was it…. good enough for you?" he asked hesitantly. I didn't know what he was talking about for half a second; then I remembered the night's events. _Holy gods, Kakarot and I actually had sex!_ I felt a smile soar across my face despite myself. I thought about his words…. "good enough" was an interesting choice there.

Then I noted the tone of his voice, it was almost… guilty.

"Why do you ask?" I inquired warily, turning over to face him.

"Because…" he muttered, "That's one of the last ones you're likely to get."

I blinked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…. It's going to be harder as this pregnancy progresses, and whether the baby or you survive or not, we don't want you to get pregnant again, right?"

Gods, he said it so bluntly. The mark on my shoulder protested as I felt a surge of what might have been distaste.

"Why not?" I found myself asking.

"'_Why not'_?" he echoed, "Vegeta, you're not actually considering…?"

I didn't answer, I just looked at him. I knew he'd be able to sense my thoughts… my _hopes,_ through the mating bond.

He sighed and leaned back.

"We can't bring our race back, Vegeta. That's not what's happening here. That'll never happen thanks to Frieza; I'm sorry."

He didn't sound all that sorry. I didn't know how he could be so negative after last night, after he'd been claimed and had some of the best sex one is likely to find in the universe. I found myself asking mentally, _It was amazing for me…. But was I good enough for him?_ It was a naïve thought, but there it was.

I snorted, "How come you have to be so damn bitter all the time, Kakarot? It's not like you."

"Bitter times," he muttered grimly.

I sat up abruptly with a scowl, "And here I was in such a good mood. Your aura is deleterious, Kakarot, you know that?"

He shrugged noncommittally, but I could feel his emotions now, and I felt a wicked grin cross my face.

"Oh, you are _not_ fooling me this time. I can sense that you feel bad about upsetting me and that you didn't mean any of what you said. Your days of hiding your feelings are _over_, Kakarot."

He sat up and opened his mouth as if for a retort; then a look of conflict came into his eyes and he struggled visibly before just swallowing hard.

"Sorry," he mumbled quietly. He actually _did_ look sorry that time.

I blinked at him rapidly. I had _not_ expected that.

He rubbed his shoulder absently, as if the mark I'd placed there were troubling him. I considered leaving for a while and letting him stew in his vacillation, but something stopped me; a feeling of _protectiveness_ washing through me. Suddenly, all I wanted was to ease his uncertainty.

I leaned against him slightly, my hand joining the one that covered his mark. He looked at me for a moment before lowering his own hand.

I gently slid my fingers over the scarred flesh, still smudged with blood from the night before, and Kakarot tipped his head back slowly with a soft moan of longing, his eyes fluttering closed. I smiled, remembering how it felt when Kakarot had touched my own mark on the stairs of Capsule Corp. That felt like it had happened a month ago.

"Yesss," he sighed as I moved the fingers ethereally along the heated surface of the scar, exploring the ridges my own teeth had made. A surge of inspiration spurred me on, and I dipped my head to kiss the mark.

The sound Kakarot made as his head snapped back up was one for the memory books. I could sense him growing aroused – I was too, just listening to him. I grinned and let my tongue slip out to taste the mark beneath my lips.

"Fuck, Vegeta, _yesss,"_ he groaned.

My tongue twirled over the hypersensitive tissue, smoothing over the mark before gliding sideways. Kakarot's breathing became harsh, and I just barely pricked the surface of the scar with one tooth, anticipating a reaction.

Kakarot gulped a breath, trembling slightly. I let my teeth slide into the punctures I'd created last night, and my mate tensed with a shout that was cut off abruptly as he soaked the sheets. I could feel the spike of intense pleasure as if it were my own.

I pulled my teeth out of the mark and licked away the blood before sitting back.

"You might have to rethink what you said before, Kakarot." I muttered, licking my lips clean.

"What's that?" he asked breathlessly.

"You said that last night was 'one of the last ones I'm likely to get';" I quoted simply, "but if what happened just now was any indication, I'm not sure you'll be able to keep your hands… and _other things_… off of me."

I swear he blushed. I _swear_ it.

"Well…. I just… I think…" he stammered, flustered.

I raised an eyebrow at him, and he sighed heavily.

"I just can't say no to you, Vegeta."

"Of course you can't," I grinned, "What kind of mate would you be if you could?"

He growled teasingly and tackled me, pinning me to the pillows and kissing me invasively.

_I knew he wouldn't be able to resist that,_ I smirked against his mouth, participating whole-heartedly. Kakarot's fingers tangled in my hair and he held me closer to him, increasing the intensity of the powerful kiss.

He broke away for a moment.

"Just remember," he said with a heavy dose of dark, carnal humor, "You're _my_ mate first."

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

_((The definitions of the Saiya-go names are entirely of my own creation and have NOTHING to do with Akira Toriyama's original design!))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 20

Time passed. About a month went by rather quickly and relatively uneventfully. I stayed at Kakarot's house with him because we didn't want to travel all the way back to Capsule Corp for no reason, and Gohan and Goten flitted back and forth from both places; never staying long.

I don't remember quote-unquote "gaining weight", but I remember passing the hallway mirror one day and stopping to measure and re-measure the curve of my abdomen. The fact that it was definitely more pronounced than before caused me an unhealthy amount of worry, which caused Kakarot to worry, which caused me to worry, and so on in a big never-ending circle. Eventually Kakarot just asked what was bothering me. He laughed nonchalantly when I told him and said it was no big deal in that comforting voice he used when I was freaked out over nothing – something that happened more often _now_ than it had in almost my entire life. But I checked my reflection almost daily afterwards, still fretting despite his soothing words.

One day I remember was when I woke up and my back ached something terrible. I got up and stretched in the usual way to loosen the tension, but it didn't go away. When I got the chance, I asked Kakarot about it, suspecting some new weird pregnancy issue.

I was correct this time. Kakarot explained that as my belly got bigger, my back took a lot of the strain. He said there wasn't a lot I could do and that ChiChi had gone through the same thing.

Another day I remember clearly happened as the passing month drew to a close. Kakarot and I were lying side by side that night as the stars unfolded out his window, not talking, just enjoying the moment of quiet respite. He broke the silence after a long time, lacing his fingers with mine as he did.

And what he said surprised me exponentially.

"What do you know about Saiyan names?" he asked honestly, his gaze drifting from the window to land on mine.

I blinked. I hadn't even started to _consider_ names yet…. Was I supposed to, when so much was yet uncertain?

"What do you want to know?" I asked.

"Like… what does my name mean?"

I thought about it, "Well, your Earth-name is not Saiyan, but from what I gather it means 'enlightened one' or something in one of the many human languages…. Kakarot means…" I bit my lip, dissecting the word by syllable, then by letter, "How do humans say it..? 'Diamond in the rough'? …'More than meets the eye'? Basically… 'unique'."

He seemed extremely pleased by this, and I saw him outline the Saiyan name with his lips, saying it without sound, a few times before actually speaking again.

"What does yours mean?"

That was easy, "Vegeta means 'royalty'. It literally means 'prince'."

He fell silent again.

"Why? What are you thinking so hard about?" I knew exactly what he was thinking about; I just wanted to hear him say it.

"Can you teach me? About Saiyan words, I mean?"

"Why?"

He hesitated, "I want to share my son's culture."

"Or daughter," I added as a force of habit.

To my surprise, he shook his head.

My hand leapt to my mouth.

"It _is_ a son?"

"I'm pretty sure," he nodded, "By the ki signal… as far as I can sense..."

"How can you tell so early?" I asked, astonished. "The woman's ultrasound machine can't pick it up yet, and I don't have a clue."

I think that might have been the first time I admitted to not having a clue out loud. Maybe the second.

He shrugged, "I just know."

Despite the endless worry and stress; it was moments like this that made the pregnancy worth it.

X

"How about Tetzu?" Kakarot asked out of the blue one day, taking a break from training. Of course I only got to watch lest I lose my ki trying to keep up with him; but I liked watching him work. The exercise really showed off his muscles, and when the day got hot, he even removed his shirt – much to my delight.

"'Honesty and strength'?" I enquired, "I don't know. I like it, but it just… doesn't fit."

"Okay, then… Kaleto? 'Strong of heart'?"

"That one's better… but it doesn't …sound right."

He snapped his fingers frustratedly. He'd been doing this for days, bringing up names and words he learned and even some that I hadn't ever taught him; I assumed he found them in either my memories that had become his own…. or maybe lingering recollections of his own past. I had to admire his effort, but none of the names he selected clicked for me.

"Gods, you're a tough one to please," he muttered before launching back into his training.

I sensed a presence soon after, and looked up to see Kakarot's youngest son Goten hovering a few feet above me.

He landed next to where I lay sprawled in the grass and tipped his head to the side questioningly.

"Hi Vegeta, what's up?" he asked cheerfully.

"Nothing," I replied simply, lying back to relieve some of the pressure from my belly. What was I going to do in the second trimester- or the third, if I made it that far - if I had such discomfort _now,_ when the first trimester was barely over?

"How's my little brother?" he went on with a genuine smile, sitting next to me.

I allowed a wry chuckle, "Confused, probably, since I won't agree to any of Kakarot's name suggestions."

"Why not?"

I sighed, "I'll know the right one when I hear it. Besides, it's still really early to be making such choices."

The demi lifted his chin importantly, "You could call him Goten Jr."

I laughed at the noble expression on the child's face and the very idea he suggested. Even Kakarot's worst weren't _that_ bad. But I said no such thing, not wanting to hurt Goten's feelings – something I wouldn't have worried about until recently.

"No, brat; I don't think so."

He was quiet for a moment, his expression so very like Kakarot's and yet so different.

"And… how have _you_ been, Vegeta?"

I stared. That was a tough question, coming from one so young.

"I… I'm fine…." I answered shakily and none-too-truthfully.

"Dad said you were having some trouble," the demi continued without missing a beat.

_He did?_ I made a mental note to slap Kakarot for saying that to a child.

"Just… unusual circumstances…" I muttered, looking anywhere but into those huge, sincere eyes.

"You got that right," he chattered on conversationally, "If it were me, I'd be _totally_ freaked out!"

While I'd been happy to talk a moment ago, quite suddenly I was tired of his chatting and just wanted him to leave me alone. I didn't voice the thought; instead bottling the feeling and cursing mentally. _Gods. Fucking. Dammit. Mood Swings. Please. Go. Away._

Kakarot was my savior as he landed next to me and helped me to my feet with a meaningful glance. I could read his emotions plainly, and I knew he could sense the huge change in my mood.

"Sorry Goten, Vegeta's a little tired right now. Why don't you and Trunks go play?" he said easily. I blinked at him, _how did he do that?_ How did he talk to kids so effortlessly? I doubted I'd ever be able to do it, but I'd have to learn fast if I was to parent my own child.

I heard Goten ask, "How did _you_ know he was tired, Dad?"

And Kakarot responded calmly, "I can sense everything he feels. Remember when I told you how Vegeta and I are together now?"

"Like when you and Mom were together?"

"Not quite like that, son. You'll understand when you're older."

"Why can't I be older _now?_" Goten pleaded.

Kakarot laughed lightly in the way that made every worry disappear, "Don't worry. You'll be older before you know it."

Somehow I couldn't picture myself giving such guidance to a child, even if I did know what to say. Maybe I'd have to ask Kakarot to teach me, like I was teaching him words in Saiya-go.

I guess we both had a lot to teach each other.

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 21

Apparently the end of the first trimester of pregnancy calls for another ultrasonic examination. And apparently Kakarot and I didn't get the memo about that. And…. apparently…. If you miss one of the woman's memos you should be ready for shrieking and severe punishment by ranting.

Anyhow, around the time my and Kakarot's ears started bleeding – not literally or I would've been worried – and the woman demanded we "get our asses to the medical examination room _this instant_"…. well… you get the picture, it was insanity.

So while the woman – the woman we shall not give name to - paced the room muttering about scientific rubbish, Kakarot and I sat rather awkwardly – me on the freaky white table thing, him in a chair literally _two inches away_ as if the woman might attack me – trying to avoid her wrath.

"Woman, it's no big deal_, _it's only been a month since…" I began once she started cursing about how I couldn't remember an appointment if it slapped me in the face.

"'No big deal?' '_No big_ _deal?!'"_ she shouted. I winced; _here we go…_

"Do you even realize what could _happen_ to you and the baby if something this unheard of goes unchecked for so long?" she demanded, pointing an irate finger at me…. and - I hate to admit – I cringed.

"No, woman, how could I?" I muttered sarcastically as I straightened, attempting to regain some of my dignity.

"You could both _die!"_ she snapped, her blue eyes blazing.

I tried to stare her down defiantly for a few seconds, but then I realized she was right, and my shoulders slumped.

"'Sorry," I mumbled, removing my shirt obediently and keeping my gaze on the floor.

"What have you even been _doing _that you could forget?" she asked, some of the anger fading, "You haven't been here in a long time."

I shot a glance at Kakarot out of the corner of my eye.

Bulma blinked and followed my line of sight. She didn't even seem to have noticed the tall Saiyan was there.

"Goku?" she asked carefully, "What are you doing here? Aren't you… still mad at Vegeta?"

I watched his expression change slowly. He opened his mouth to reply; then let it close again. Then, as an answer, his hand moved to his shirt collar and he loosened it, enough for Bulma to clearly see the dark bite mark on his right shoulder.

Bulma's eyes widened and she turned to me, "He let you claim him?"

I nodded once; a little surprised she'd remembered what I'd told her about the marks.

Her eyes travelled to the matching scar on my left shoulder and lingered there for a moment. She almost looked sad.

Then she turned back to Kakarot, "Why? What changed?"

"I..." Kakarot began. It was easy to say it to me, I reasoned, because I already knew how he felt. It was harder to admit to the woman who had no idea.

"I realized… I love him." Kakarot finished, meeting Bulma's gaze challengingly, as if daring her to doubt his words.

Bulma was silent for a long moment; then she composed herself without saying a word and started setting up her equipment, keeping her eyes on her work. I knew that look; I'd seen it enough times when I lived with the woman. She was processing something complicated and wouldn't be ready to talk again until she'd simplified it in that mathematical way she had. But I doubted love could be cut down into an equation. It was a lot more complicated than that, even for her.

Kakarot shot me a long sideways look; apparently he knew what Bulma was doing when she got like this too. He'd known her a lot longer than I had, after all.

"So…." I said awkwardly to my mate, attempting to diffuse the tension that the woman was giving off in waves, "Any more name suggestions, Kakarot?"

"Um… no, I haven't really been thinking about it." he replied uncomfortably.

"Pity," I muttered, stealing a glance at the bustling woman, "They were getting so much better the more creative you got."

Kakarot started to answer when Bulma slammed something down on the table and glared at us.

"Uh-oh, here she goes…" my mate whispered.

I nodded shallowly. Now the woman was about to start chewing us out…. _For what? What did we do wrong?_

"So you were gone for a month because you and Goku got back together," she sounded calm, but I could hear the note of irritation that would soon turn to rage. I braced myself.

Kakarot nodded, a look of terror that only women could inspire etched on his face. The man could defeat droves of fighters and take down monsters like Frieza and Buu; but he was dead-scared of his wife and his oldest friend. It was baffling to most, but I understood it pretty well. And it was _not –_ contrary to Gohan's belief – just an act, nor an attempt at humor. He was downright afraid of their wit, and his inability and unwillingness to fight back or actually attack them – which was unthinkable.

It did make me wonder why he wasn't scared of me.

"And did you…?" she made a vague gesture that was understood all around.

I broke in before Kakarot could get any paler, "Just once."

"So you weren't just _playing around_ the whole time?" she snapped, using that dagger-eyed expression that she used when she was trying to get me to admit I was lying.

"No." I tried to think how the woman was thinking… imagining a month of nothing but…

…_Jeez, that would be exhausting. _I chuckled drily, "Saiyans have endurance, woman, but even we have limits."

Bulma's eyes narrowed, then she nodded absently and went back to brooding and plugging in wires.

"Hold still," she muttered, slicking my stomach with that disgusting gel she used. I obeyed, albeit reluctantly.

"It's almost the four month mark," Kakarot murmured in my ear as I lay back, "What do you suppose the baby looks like now?"

_Four months out of…. how many?_

The screen next to me flickered and turned to gray and silver. The woman dragged the scanner-thing across my abdomen slowly. I glanced at the image, then at Kakarot, then back.

It was definitely bigger than before, and looked a lot more… real; if that makes sense. It actually looked like a person. My breath caught when I realized it even had _toes… _and a tail; though the appendage was thin, short and ropey still.

"I was right," Kakarot breathed. I followed his gaze and nodded; it was male, for sure.

I took a long moment just to appreciate that I was looking at _my son_. I wanted to do something to tell him I was proud of him… but how could I do that?

"Vegeta," Kakarot said quietly, "Why are you crying?"

I hadn't realized that I was, but when I placed a hand on my cheek it was wet.

"I don't know," I replied unsteadily.

I felt my mate's hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. I looked at him and saw his eyes were riveted on the image of his third son.

I glanced at Bulma and saw that she was watching the screen too. But it was in that scientific way that said she wanted to dissect something. I managed to draw her attention and bared my teeth warningly; _You are getting nowhere near my son with a scalpel._

"E-everything seems about as normal as it can be, given the circumstances," she reported shakily, obviously unnerved by my snarl. I saw that Kakarot's lip was curled defensively too; and I couldn't help but feel relieved. Now the baby had _two_ powerful parents to protect him.

X

Kakarot shut the door of the bedroom behind his back deftly, and I heard the click as he locked it. He wasted no time pinning me to the wall and kissing me hard.

I inhaled and noted that he was musking heavily, almost _possessively._

"What's the occasion?" I breathed into his neck.

He growled and kissed me again, "Do I need a reason?"

I tried to shut out his scent and listen to his emotions. He seemed to be almost livid, or domineering; or some combination thereof. I felt for the source of the defensive greed and realized it was the woman. He was mad at her for some reason.

Oh. He'd thought she was trying to _steal_ me. And he was angry at her for wanting to run experiments on the baby. I was glad he'd waited until we got home before satisfying his officious urges.

Would it always be like this? If someone even_ looked_ at me wrong, would he fly into a rage and basically devour my lips in an attempt to re-stake his claim?

I guess I could live with that.

I sucked in a breath sharply as Kakarot bit my lower lip, drawing blood before licking it away. He was a lot rougher than he'd been before, dominating, almost selfish. And was it wrong that I was turned on by that?

No. Nothing that felt this good could be wrong. His chilling scent was hitting me in all the right places and his lips, tongue and teeth were working their magic on me, turning my knees to liquid. One of his hands moved from the wall and snuck up my shirt, caressing the curve of my belly and pinching one of my nipples to hardness. In fact, he couldn't seem to keep his hands to himself, as the other crept along my thigh before squeezing my ass. The hard surface of the wall chafed against my back as he leaned closer, rubbing against me like an animal marking its territory.

"Kakarot, maybe we should –" I began as I felt the wall behind me start to give under the pressure.

He nodded once, breathing hard, and backed up until the backs of his legs hit the bedframe. He turned and threw me to the bed, incinerating his clothing in the same motion with the ki that sparked from his skin. I looked up at him and saw his hair was golden, but I wasn't afraid, for I could sense that he didn't intend to hurt. It was more a display than an increase of power.

His hands found my wrists and he held me down, as if I'd try to move away. I knew he was just showing that he _could_ control me if need be, and that he could kill anyone that got between him and me. It should have disturbed me, I know, but right then it just fanned the flame he'd lit.

He kissed me again, moving down to lick a line down my neck.

"_Mine,"_ he growled into the sensitive skin, "You belong to me."

I think it was pretty clear who held the dominant position in our mating bond. It wasn't a decision, it was instinct. The stronger was always at the top; but that also made them the protector, the guardian. And I realized with a shock that I didn't mind being protected. I didn't mind being below Kakarot – whether literally or metaphorically – and I didn't mind letting him take control like this.

I had to admire him though; he didn't destroy my clothes like he had his own. He knew I didn't have any replacement here and was making sure I wouldn't walk away with a shredded shirt or something.

He was hard as a rock and I could sense that he was aching, craving, _needing._ As he attacked my lips again, his skin sticking to mine with sweat; I could feel him trembling with the effort of holding himself back. And for the first time, I could hear his thoughts – or rather, the fragments that were his thoughts right now; I was reading his mind like he'd read mine before.

'_Need you. Want you. Love you. Promise. Safe. Safe with me.'_

He moved down my chest, licking and sucking the skin as the words repeated in his mind_. _He stopped after a moment, just looking at me with narrow, teal eyes. What was he waiting for? Permission?

I kissed his eyelid gently, "I trust you," I assured him, my lips lingering on his blonde eyebrow before moving away.

He exhaled explosively and claimed my mouth again, his fingers slicking through the sweat pooling on my chest. He stroked himself once, wetting his taut skin, and slid into me carefully, eliciting a long groan. Unlike the rough contact from before, he was gentle, keeping his promise not to hurt me.

"I love you," he pledged, sinking in once, "I love you, I love you, I love you…."

With each repetition of the vow, he thrust slowly, moving his hands from my wrists to support himself against the bed and not crush me. I couldn't reply, I couldn't form coherent words to do so, and I hoped my thoughts would tell him how much I loved him in return.

His mouth found the mark on my shoulder and he kissed it lightly, making me moan a low, ragged note.

His blonde bangs fell in his face as he glanced at me, asking without words; '_Can I?'_

I nodded fervently, my breath coming in short bursts.

He purred and sank his teeth into the mark as he thrust again, harmonizing with me as we voiced the rush of pleasure together in a deep moan. The words he'd been promising with his lips became a loop in his mind as he sucked hard, picking up speed in his thrusting. _I love you… I love you…_

"Gods," I gasped as he struck something inside, not the sweet spot he'd hit before but something different; equally stimulating, but foreign. It sent a rush of ecstasy through me; but it was more of a quickening than the feeling I was used to. Once the stab of pleasure faded, I was left wanting more.

"Again," I commanded, locking my arms around Kakarot's neck, "Do that again!"

He grunted and thrust in deep, hitting that amazing spot head-on. I choked a breath and my whole body locked as I came hard. Kakarot followed a second after, wrenching his teeth out of my shoulder as his ki spiking insanely, before crashing as his hair bled back to black.

"W-what was _that?_" I panted, my vision returning to normal eventually.

Kakarot laughed shakily, "I think … it's called… a G-spot."

"Why haven't I h-heard of it before?"

My mate looked me in the eye, his expression screaming amusement.

"Because it's usually only found in _women._"

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 22

The next day I found myself alone for the first time in a _long_ time. And I wasn't surprised that I was glad. I was a solitary person by nature; and frankly, I was amazed I'd held out this long with so many _people._ I don't think I'd been truly alone since before this whole thing started; and now I had the whole of Capsule Corp to myself. Kakarot had teleported me there, saying he had things to do and to stay out of trouble. Trunks was at school right now and the woman was doing whatever it is women do…. though I suspected she was at the idiot Yamcha's house. …Did he even _have_ a house?

I wasn't sure what to do with myself at first. Usually I would train, or go for a long flight or something… but I couldn't do any of those things now. I tried meditating, but I couldn't focus, so I wandered the house for a while, no real destination in mind. It felt quiet, so I put on one of the woman's CDs just to have some background noise. I made some of my favorite tea and took a seat, absently picking up a magazine and flicking through it. I felt foolish, like a ridiculous human, but at least I had some solitude, right?

I missed Kakarot. It had been less than one day, and I already missed him.

I tossed the magazine aside with a scowl. What was I _doing_?

But that was just it. I needed to get up and _do_ something. I couldn't train, I couldn't spar; I couldn't stand on a plateau in the middle of nowhere…. what did that leave?

_I could make something…._

I'd never really created anything before; I was far too busy destroying to even think of such things… but what if I made something for Kakarot? After all, he'd done a lot for me.

I sneered at my own thoughts. What in the gods' names was I becoming? Someone who was _grateful_ for things and said _thank you?_ I was a _prince!_

…_A prince who's pregnant with Kakarot's son._

The thought hit me like a slap in the face. Well, I'd certainly been demoted, hadn't I?

But was it a step down to be bearing the child of the most powerful man in the universe? If I were anyone else I'd say it was an honor… but….

I rubbed my temples frustratedly. Two seconds to myself and I was already questioning my existence. Pathetic.

But the thought of giving something to my mate didn't go away.

I thought about how possessive Kakarot had been last night, and the whole time he'd still been gentle and loving. I'd already given him my body and my heart, what else could I offer?

I wondered what the strongest man ever to exist would possibly desire. He could demand the universe on a silver plate if he chose. But he didn't want any such thing. All he really seemed to want was peace, happiness, and me. That last one was a rather recent addition, I suppose.

Maybe I could give him a piece of himself. It sounded strange, but it made sense. He knew so little about his past, his culture…. what if…?

I sat bolt upright. _I could give him his tail back_.

X

I felt guilty disobeying Kakarot and leaving the house, but as long as I stayed out of trouble, I wouldn't be doing anything wrong. I wished – not for the first time – that I could teleport like he could; because now I had to _fly_ all the way to the Lookout…. Well, I suppose it was better than _walking._

"Get out here, Namek!" I shouted once I landed, a little out of breath but otherwise no worse for wear.

The tall green Namek…. his name was Piccolo – I knew that, but I didn't like to say it for some reason – strode out to meet me with a disgruntled expression.

"What do you want?" he muttered, "You interrupted my meditation."

I snorted, "You spend _way_ too much time floating in midair with your head in the clouds, Green Bean; I came to ask you something."

He sneered at the insult, but didn't argue.

"It _has_ been a while," he said shortly, "Come inside, it's freezing out here."

I smirked, pleased that I could still manipulate people, and followed him into the large white building – I still wasn't sure what it was for, only that it housed the Hyperbolic Time Chamber.

Piccolo leaned against one of the pillars and crossed one ankle over the other, his black, eyebrow-less gaze on me.

"What's on your mind?" he asked after a while.

Now that I was faced with it, I wasn't sure where to begin. Should I tell him about Kakarot and me? About me being pregnant? Did he already _know_? He wouldn't be able to tell just by looking, not yet; but he saw just about everything from his perch, here at the ceiling of the world.

What if he didn't approve? What if he didn't understand? What if he got angry? After all, he used to be evil, like me….

"Relax," the Namek said peacefully, "You're shaking like a leaf."

I took a second to compose myself and restore my poise and dignity.

"About four months ago…" I began, "I… I found out that… I learned…"

I swallowed, frustrated with myself.

"I know." Piccolo said calmly, "Vegeta, I know Goku got you pregnant. And I know you are mated now."

I blinked several times, my mouth still slightly ajar. I hadn't expected him to say it first.

"And you… you're not upset?"

"Why would I be? It doesn't affect me in the slightest." He shrugged, "I've seen a _lot_ of strange things in my life, remember? A male Saiyan accidentally getting knocked up is by _no means_ the strangest."

I breathed a sigh of relief. That made this much easier.

"This might seem like changing the subject," I said slowly, "But… do you know how to regrow a Saiyan's tail?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment; then shook his head, his long, pointed ears flapping slightly with the motion.

"Why would you presume _I'd_ know?" he asked honestly.

"Because…" I said. Why did I? It was something about the Namek…. something he knew, or something he _was_, something he _did… _I dug deep into my memories to try to think of it…

And then I realized it wasn't even _my _memory, it was Kakarot's; it must have gotten transferred to me when we mated. According to that, Piccolo wasn't the one who knew about tails; the old Namekian named Kami did. And since Kami and Piccolo were one being now, I'd subconsciously assumed he'd know too.

"Namek, do you have any form of contact with the old one called Kami?" I asked out of the blue.

His eye ridges furrowed as he frowned, "I can't necessarily command it, but his astuteness and guidance appears now and then. I wouldn't dub it a conversation, more a bartering of abstract thought or capability."

Did he _have_ to talk like a scholar all the time? No wonder Kakarot's eldest got along with him so well.

"Can you ask him what he knows about tails?" I muttered.

"I can try."

He closed his eyes, an expression of concentration lining his face. I waited impatiently, tapping my fingers on the side of my arm agitatedly.

"Nothing." He sighed at last, opening his eyes, "My apologies, Vegeta."

"It's fine." I said untruthfully, looking away.

Piccolo hesitated, "Might I suggest using the dragonballs?"

I stood up straighter, why hadn't _I_ thought of that?

"I can wish for Shenron to restore Kakarot's tail?" I asked, daring to hope.

He blinked, looking confused and almost disbelieving at the same time.

"What's _that_ look for?" I muttered.

He glanced at me sideways, amusement lighting his coal eyes.

"I'm sorry; I just thought that all this time you were asking how to bring back _your_ tail. But you meant it as a gift for Goku. You're actually becoming a _nice_ person_,_ Vegeta."

I grit my teeth, "Not my fault, the big lump's rubbing off on me."

That just made his amusement brighter, "Excuse me, _who's_ the big lump? Not Goku, I don't think."

I glanced at my midsection almost without thinking. _Was it that obvious even now?_

"You know you could get them both back," The Namek added.

"What?"

"You could get your tail back too... Shenron would grant both if you voiced it as one wish."

I had to wait a few seconds before I could breathe, "You're sure?"

He tilted his head a little, "I'm pretty sure."

That was good enough for me.

X

I was in an exceptionally good mood when Kakarot returned to Capsule Corp. The Namek had given me some of his ki so that I could fly back without too much strain, and I'd sent Trunks and Goten after the dragonballs – armed with the radar needed to find said balls – as soon as they'd come back from school.

He sat down next to me without a word, breathing out a long sigh and tipping his head back exhaustedly.

Some of my optimism faded when I saw how wiped out he was.

"What's wrong?" I asked hesitantly, decidedly ignoring the negative energy pulsing from him in waves. It wasn't directed at me at least.

"I talked to ChiChi," he said eventually.

I winced, imagining what a tense atmosphere _that_ must have been.

"…And?"

"She wanted full custody of Goten." He sighed, "She probably would have added Gohan too, but she can't control what he does anymore."

"Surely you didn't let her…" I began.

"No. I didn't. But I…" He rubbed his knuckles into his temples frustratedly as he went on, "I let slip about you and me, and she totally flipped."

"I thought she already knew about…" I began.

"Yeah but she didn't think I'd… she didn't think we'd…" he stammered, growing angry, "She said she thought I wouldn't be – how did she put it...? - '_sucked in'_ ….by you."

I looked at him reproachfully.

"Kakarot, it's alright…"

"No, it's fucking not all right," the bluntness, the emotionlessness, in his voice, scared me more than I care to admit.

He stood up abruptly, clenching his fists, "She… _insulted_ you… I wanted… I felt… I wished I could _just…"_

Something glass shattered in the other room. And yes, I think it had everything to do with the spiraling whorl of energy pouring from him.

"Calm down, Kakarot," I said sharply, standing as well and gripping his shoulder, "Just let it go; it's not a big deal…"

He slapped my hand away none-too-gently and I stared at him, shocked and a little offended.

I could almost hear his teeth scraping together in his aggravation; he was shaking angrily with every breath he took.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" I snapped, downright terrified of his wrath but refusing to show it, "Yesterday it was fine because I let you and you were gentle; but now it's just irrational and childish, Kakarot! Just. Calm. Down!"

"I_… shut up_! I can't!" he snarled, hiding his face in his hands. I saw his hair flicker to gold for half a second.

It was always like this, I realized. Every time something got him angry he'd try to bottle it up, but his Saiyan side would always get the best of him and then _this _would happen. And the worst part was… no one could bring him back down to Earth. Not even me.

What could I do to stop him? To keep him from blowing up over every little thing? It wasn't like the Kakarot I knew, but I'd come to associate anger with his personality now… which was not a good thing. Was this what I'd been like? When I was evil? When I was Majin? That seemed like a lifetime ago.

I decided to take a risk, knowing he would never intentionally hurt me. I stood so that I was across from him and took his hands down from his face; holding them lightly in mine. His eyes opened slowly, and though his hair remained black, they were the color of the sea; only colder, more aggressive.

"Come back to me," I pleaded, "It's okay… I promise."

"I... I was afraid I'd… I thought…" he faltered, clenching his teeth again, "…I wanted to strangle her…. I c-couldn't keep my hands from doing this," he showed me his palms; there were deep marks from his fingernails biting into the skin, some of them still bleeding sluggishly.

"Relax," I soothed, the tone feeling uncharacteristic for me, but not unwelcome, "It's over now, it's alright."

I felt his skyrocketing emotions calm somewhat, more a dip than an actual change. I could feel his panic and confusion, as well as a large amount of thought that he wasn't even in control of.

It made sense now. Since Kakarot mated with me, and even before, he'd been a dominant male from the start, high strung, possessive and full of testosterone that demanded he get angry about every little thing. It explained his switches in mood that almost rivaled mine, and the anger that was so unusual for him, and yet so typical, as if it had always been there. The explanation clarified a lot of things.

"It's not you," I said eventually, "It's not your fault."

He looked at me, his eyes fading back to black slowly.

"You have hormones too, Kakarot. I'll have to tell you how to keep them under control, so you can stop punishing yourself over something that's not even yours to command."

He put a hand to his forehead absently; I could feel the headache as if it were mine.

"Right now, you just need to sleep." I said briskly, steering him to the stairs, "Bulma won't mind if you use her bed."

Of course, she probably _would_ mind, both of us knew that; but we also both knew she wouldn't dare pick a fight with me or him.

As Kakarot walked tiredly up the stairs, and I sat back down on the sofa again, a thought – something that had totally slipped my mind – came back to me.

_By the way, Kakarot… guess what? I found out how to get our tails back_

TBC_._


	23. Chapter 23

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 23

Goten and Trunks returned a few hours later, positively covered in filth and sporting identical self-pleased grins. Between them they carried a duffel bag that I assumed held the dragonballs.

"I think that's a new record," Trunks said happily, "Four hours and thirteen minutes to find all seven."

They dropped the bag at me feet, saluting comically.

I sighed disinterestedly, "Put them somewhere they won't be disturbed until tomorrow."

A look of disappointment fell on the two demis' faces.

"Okay Dad," Trunks muttered, picking up the satchel and slinging it over his shoulder before leaving somewhat dejectedly.

I hated to upset him, but my thoughts were elsewhere at the moment.

It was past sundown, so the woman probably wouldn't be home until tomorrow; she rarely stayed out late unless it was overnight. Usually I'd be suspicious of her sleeping over at Yamcha's; but I decided I didn't really care what she did anymore.

On the more pressing subject of Kakarot, I wondered agonizingly what I could do to keep him from getting frustrated over everything all the time. What if something devastating happened and he got so angry that he destroyed the world? It was unlikely, but definitely possible.

Hadn't he said himself that pregnancy and childbirth were extremely stressful and put a lot of strain on both parents? What if… what if he couldn't handle it and got upset like before? I remembered my odds of even surviving this; and I had to wonder with a chill of dread how someone reacted if they lost their mate and their unborn child at once…. I could barely imagine such a thing.

For once, I wasn't worried about my less than fifty-percent chance of success for my own sake, or even the sake of the child, but for Kakarot's. Putting him through something like that – even though it was just a possibility – was almost reason enough to call it quits and get an abortion. Almost.

Sanity dawned, and I almost slapped myself for my depressing thoughts. No. I wouldn't back out that easily. Being a Saiyan prince, I had an inbred – almost stupid – sense of stubbornness and determination that had nearly gotten me killed at least twice. ….And twice it actually _did_ get me killed, but that's ancient history.

I supposed the best thing I could do was try everything I could to keep Kakarot calm, to insure this pregnancy went as smoothly as possible….and then make sure it never happened again. The thought made me rather sad, but I knew it was for the good of many that I didn't conceive again; if it was even possible. Too much stress, too much potential failure, too many confusing and possibly deadly hormones.

Once the boys were asleep in Trunks's room, I headed upstairs. Every step felt like a marathon, I was so tired. A sense of defeat that I couldn't quite shake clung to me; for some reason I felt like I'd already failed. Or that I'd let someone down.

I slid the door to the woman's bedroom open quietly and waited for my eyes to adjust to the dark before entering. Kakarot was sleeping on one side of the bed, as if he was used to sleeping _with_ someone, not alone. He kept twitching in his dreams and his expression, though reposed, was one of intense consternation. I hesitated before sliding into bed next to him, watching him sleep restlessly.

"Vegeta," he whispered. I blinked, thinking for a moment that he'd woken, but his ki was still blurred, so he was definitely still asleep. I wondered what he could be dreaming about that involved me, and what had made him so agitated.

I wasn't sure if it would work – I'd never been able to control it before – but I tentatively lay down and tried to synch his thoughts with mine; my breathing automatically following his, both of our hearts beating in tandem. I lowered my ki until it was at the same level as his, and was quite suddenly thrown into his mind.

True, I'd read his mind before and felt his emotions; but this was entirely different. It was like I was literally _in_ his head, seeing things as he saw them, as well as knowing what he was thinking and feeling. But I remained slightly detached; I retained my own awareness, identity, and state-of-mind whilst I explored his.

~_dream~_

_~I was alone. Truly alone. There was no sense of the comforting presence of my mate running through me; no promise of the child we were to have. Vegeta was gone.~_

_What?_ I tried to get his attention, to tell him that I was right there; but I realized, in this instance, I _was _him_._ We weren't separate beings while I was in his mind; there was no border between him and me.

~_I could feel my anguish fast becoming rage, but I didn't care. Teetering on the edge of insanity, I stared sightlessly at the body of my dead lover, surrounded in a pool of his own blood.~_

I couldn't help feeling touched that he thought of me not only as his mate, but as his lover…. however, the dream itself had crossed the line of 'creepy' and had hit 'seriously fucked up'.

~_Why? Why did he leave me alone like this? Why couldn't I stop it? Vegeta, how could you abandon me?~_

But I'm right here! I wanted to scream, to shut out the devastation in his thoughts and hide forever. This was exactly what I'd been afraid of, and the intensity, the _realness,_ of the dream, shook me to the core.

~_Emptiness filled me, I felt the only way I could escape would be to die. And if I was going to go, I was taking this whole miserable planet down with me. ~_

Alarm set in when I realized his ki was actually rising, as if he was gathering it to create a blast to destroy everything. Not just in the dream, but in real life as well. I tried to withdraw from his mind with all my might, but I couldn't. I was trapped here as long as he was.

~_At least I'll see him again… in Hell…~_

I couldn't let him do this.

"_Kakarot, wake up!"_ I shouted both in my mind and in reality; somehow managing to break away for an instant and make myself heard.

The same instant that his eyes snapped open, I was thrown just as violently from his mind as I'd entered it. His ki was still dangerously high, I could feel it burning my skin even though I didn't touch him, and I could feel the baby's tiny ki protest to the vast concentration of energy.

"V-Vegeta?" he stammered, "No, you're dead."

"Dammit, I'm not dead, idiot! Now lower your power before you kill all three of us!"

"But –" His eyes travelled to my midsection, and I felt his relief as he located the miniscule ki that was his unborn son. His energy level dropped like a rock.

"S-sorry," he said shakily.

"That got out of hand _way_ too quickly," I retorted, "You could have killed us! What if I wasn't there to intervene, huh? What then, Kakarot?"

He just looked at me, at a loss for words and obviously shaken.

"I'll tell you what: our son would have grown up never knowing his father, that's what! Either that or we'd both be in Hell!"

Some of my ire faded as I saw his eyes well up with tears. I was so unused to seeing him cry, and now he'd done it twice in a month. I tried to remind myself that I wasn't actually angry with him; I was just scared half to death.

The door opened and I looked up to see Goten and Trunks standing in the doorway, looking frantic.

I realized what they must have heard and sensed; and now one saw their father on the verge of Super Saiyan, and the other saw theirs on the verge of tears.

"W-what's going on?" Goten asked fearfully, "Dad, are you and the baby okay?"

Two things happened at once; I realized with a shock that he wasn't talking to Kakarot when he said "Dad", and Kakarot's gathering tears burst out. The tall Saiyan hid his face in the blankets; I could sense his self-loathing and shame.

I sighed, "He's had this coming for a long time, I guess…" All the mounting frustration, stress, and worry had just built and built until it had to find an outlet or Kakarot would self-destruct. So it found three. Yesterday, when he'd all but bitten his wife's head off for insulting me; a few moments ago, when he'd nearly destroyed us both after a very vivid and very disturbing dream; and just now, when he'd broken down into tears for maybe the second or third time in his life.

"My fault," he wept into the sheets, "all my fault…"

I said the only thing I could make myself say; and the only reason I could force it out was because it was the unfiltered truth.

"No it's not," he looked up as I spoke flatly, "It's mine."

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 24

Kakarot drew a shaky breath, drying his eyes on the sheets without looking at me. I wanted to do something to comfort him, but I was still in shock after truly seeing what was in his mind; after seeing myself as a pale corpse stained with my own blood – even if it was just a dream. It made all my fears real. My fears of failure, of defeat… even of death; though I'd been to Hell twice. It made the less than fifty percent chance of my or the baby's survival seem even smaller - even less likely - than it was. I'd been more focused on what would happen if I _did_ make it through this than worrying about what would happen if I didn't. But now all the doubts and panic I had buried months ago resurfaced in one big rush, and I was afraid of them….no, I was _terrified _of them.

I almost forgot that Trunks and Goten were still there until both of them were sitting on the edge of the bed, two pairs of wide eyes fixed on me and my mate.

"Is there… anything we can do to help?" Trunks asked carefully. I was struck speechless; it was what, two o'clock in the morning? ...and he was asking how he could help _us._

Kakarot was shaking his head slowly, "I don't think there's anything anyone can do;" he sighed, "Only time will fix this… if time is kind to us, that is…."

Trunks shifted so he was a little closer to me, his bright blue eyes trained on me concernedly.

"I… I don't want anything to happen to you," he said quietly, he looked at Kakarot and added, "to either of you."

Is it possible for someone's heart to be so full of pride and love that it stops beating? Because I swear mine did…. Gods; that sounded strange coming from me, but it was the truth.

"Yeah," Goten added with a short nod that made his bangs flip out of his face, just like Kakarot's did, "We're all family now."

I didn't know what to say. Anything I could say would sound stupid in response to such startling maturity and loyalty… especially when both came from such young people.

I stole a glance at Kakarot, noting that he seemed to be at a loss for words as well.

We both acted in the same moment. Kakarot took Trunks in his arms and hugged him, and – though I wouldn't have done any such thing four months ago – I did the same with Kakarot's son. It was kind of instinctive, but the lines between instinct and emotion were so blurred now that I didn't care.

X

The next day seemed to dawn late; I don't think I got any rest, and Kakarot seemed afraid to go back to sleep, as if the nightmare would return if he did…. which - I had to admit - it probably would; that's what nightmares do.

"Vegeta," he said quietly.

"Hm?" I mumbled into the pillow.

"Did you get any sleep?"

I shook my head shortly, sitting up despite the protests of my muscles.

"Me neither." He muttered.

"When did the boys go back to bed?" I asked tiredly.

"About three a.m., they were exhausted so I don't think they'll be up for a while."

I stretched slowly, shaking the ache out of my arms. Then I remembered something from yesterday.

I looked at Kakarot for a long moment, trying to decide the best way to tell him.

He was already up, putting on a new shirt absently, seeming lost in thought.

"I… uh… I have something to show you," I said after a while.

He blinked at me, "What?"

Well, at least some of the distress and anger from yesterday was gone, but his black eyes and his voice were still colored with anxiety. I supposed that was understandable.

"We have to go outside first," I explained, getting to my feet as well. I'd gone to bed in my clothes, even though I hadn't actually fallen asleep.

I stopped on the landing of the stairs, Kakarot two steps behind me. The woman still wasn't home. I wasn't worried, but it did make me wonder….

I shook off the thoughts. She could do whatever she wanted; she wasn't my concern anymore.

I picked up the bag with the dragonballs before heading outside. The neatly manicured grass of Capsule Corp's lawn bristled against my bare feet, still wet with dew from the dawn.

The sun was about halfway up, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I inhaled deeply, collecting my nerves and banishing my worries….For now.

"Okay," Kakarot said slowly, following me outside, "We're outside…. what did you want to show me?"

I tried to savor the moment of anticipation before laying out the dragonballs on the grass. All seven accounted for.

"I want to make a wish," I said, "For both of us."

The confusion in my mate's eyes doubled, but he held his tongue, waiting.

For a moment I considered changing the wish… asking instead that the baby and I would be okay... but I decided not to risk it. The dragon probably couldn't grant something that abstract anyway.

"Shenron, arise!" I shouted, "By your name I summon you!"

A second's silence passed before the balls began to glow and the sky darkened spectacularly, lightning crackling in the black clouds overhead. A whoosh and a roar filled the air with wind and a beam of gilded light shot out of the seven gathered orbs. The light coagulated into the sinuous form of a long, green serpentine dragon. The creature twisted and undulated in the air for a moment, then fixed its glowing red eyes on me from above.

"**I have come to grant you one wish! Speak now your heart's desire so that I may return to my slumber!"**

I glanced once at Kakarot, he looked extremely nervous.

"Relax," I assured him, "I know what I'm doing."

"**I cannot hear you!"** the dragon roared.

"Shenron!" I addressed the creature, "My wish is for Kakarot and myself to have our tails restored!"

"**An easy request,"**Shenron growled, **"It shall be done!"**

The great beast's eyes glowed brightly for a moment before dimming.

Almost instantly, a burning, crawling sensation began in my spine, spidering down and stopping exactly where my tail scar was. The sensation tripled very suddenly and with a quiet ripping sound, the full four feet or so of my auburn tail sprouted out. Instinctively, my precarious _human_ balance was corrected and the appendage coiled around my waist like a belt. As if it had never been gone. I reveled in the adjustments being made, the instincts and reflexes activating; I felt complete for the first time in a long time. I felt whole.

So great was my joy that I almost forgot about Kakarot. I looked at him after a moment; he was standing stock still, staring at the slender blue-black furred tail swishing at his side. I could feel shock and disbelief pulsing from him consistently.

"Gods," he breathed, "Oh… _gods…_ I…"

I felt him give the appendage a command, and felt his surprised delight as it responded.

"**I have granted your request," **Shenron bellowed, coiling once or twice in the air before rocketing upwards; disappearing in a flash of yellow light that would scatter the dragonballs across the world.

"It's been so long," Kakarot whispered in awe, touching the dark fur of his tail almost gingerly, as if it would either break or bite him.

I took a step in his direction, placing a hand on his shoulder gently.

"You like it?" I asked quietly, praying I hadn't scared him with this… it _was _kind of sudden, I guess….

He looked at me, amazement filling his gaze.

"Yes," he said softly, then more confidently, "Yes."

Tentatively, his tail reached out and touched mine. The fur stood on end and I felt a thrill of connection.

The most sensitive part of my body… restored. The most versatile and intelligent part of my identity except for my own mind… brought back. I could barely imagine what it must be like for Kakarot; he hadn't had his tail since he was a child. He probably had no idea what it was truly capable of.

Scents would mean a lot more to him now, as well as body language and implications; and in addition to essentially having a third fully functional hand with which to grip and touch, it was a powerful communication tool, often said to have a mind of its own. And then of course there was Oozaru. We'd have to be more careful around the full moon from now on.

Kakarot couldn't seem to keep his eyes off his own tail, watching it lash and curl through the air. I noticed subtle differences between his and mine. Besides the color – an obvious variance – his was sleeker, with thicker, longer fur. Mine was the texture of rough velvet, slightly shorter than his and a little thinner. I wondered what it would be like to feel the length of Kakarot's tail… to stroke it.

Then I remembered that my usual standards of personal bubbles didn't really apply to Kakarot. He was my mate; I could touch him if I wanted to. Slowly, giving him plenty of time to retreat if he chose, I reached out and took the furry appendage in my hand. Kakarot's whole body tensed; and I reminded myself that he probably only associated physical contact with his tail with pain. If someone gripped it hard or grabbed it, it hurt a lot. Well, he had a lot to learn.

"What are you…?" he began, trailing off uncertainly.

Gently, gradually, I let my hand slide down the length of the tail, following the direction in which the hairs grew. The fur felt like silk; like living, moving satin. I wasn't even aware of when Kakarot teleported us inside, to the top of the stairs. His tail slipped out of my grasp and managed to coax mine from around my waist. His eyes never leaving mine, he twined the two together.

A small sigh left my lips unbidden as the sensation of fur on fur skittered up my spine. It was almost as amazing as when he touched the bite mark on my shoulder, except not as intense, and we both got something out of it.

I wanted to explore everything I could do with my tail now that it was back, but Kakarot didn't give me the chance. He leaned close to me and closed his lips over mine. The chaste kiss lasted a few seconds before he released both my mouth and my tail and stood back.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, not that I was complaining. It just seemed kind of random.

He tilted his head cockily, his tail swishing once, "Well I had to thank you somehow, right?"

TBC


	25. Chapter 25

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 25

Kakarot was kissing me. Gently, compassionately; more of a comforting motion than a sexual one, one of his hands threading through my hair and the other caressing the side of my hip. We were lying in a bed I didn't recognize, as soft as clouds; he was slightly on top of me, his tail stroking ethereally along the inside of my thigh. Abruptly, I felt the sensation I'd felt before – the quickening, titillating feeling that was pleasant… but strange. I blinked and opened my eyes.

It took me a second to recognize where I was and realize that what had happened was a dream. A nice dream, but a dream nonetheless. However, the tingling sensation of pleasure was real enough. I glanced over my shoulder at my mate sleeping next to me. It was about time that worried furrow disappeared from his forehead; did it only go away when he was asleep?

I contemplated the feeling from the dream that had stuck with me upon awakening. I wasn't used to it; it just didn't seem… fitting…. like it didn't belong to me. I thought about what Kakarot had told me about the G-spot, and wondered if the two were connected somehow. I wondered why I even _had_ such a thing. I knew I had a male pleasure center – I think humans called it a prostate – Kakarot had proven that enough times. I guess now I had both…. weird.

It did make me wonder, like so many things these days; if it had always been there, and I'd just never known because I'd never sought to find out. I wondered what else I'd been missing out on.

Kakarot mumbled something into his pillow, then raised his head slightly, "Vegeta…. stop thinking so hard…. I can't sleep with you messing up my dreams…"

I blinked at him, confused. What did he mean by that? Just by thinking about something, was I influencing _his_ thoughts as well? Was there_nowhere_ my mind was safe?

"Sorry, I didn't even realize I was doing it," I said, my gaze drifting to the ceiling.

"Could you at least think about something else?" he muttered, "My dreams are screwed up as it is without you putting _that_ into them."

I felt heat flood my face when I remembered what I'd been pondering so intently a moment ago. _Well,_ I thought, _I guess between mates there's no privacy…._

Kakarot whacked me with his tail lightly, "Damn straight,"

I jumped, "Stop that! It's freaky enough when you read my mind, but do you have to _answer_ it?"

"Heh. Serves you right for waking me up."

X

Things like mind reading and sharing dreams were common between the two of us now, but that didn't make them any less unnerving. It was hard for me to switch from being someone who was secretive and deceitful to someone who couldn't keep a secret at arm's length from Kakarot to save my life. He seemed just as weirded out, if not more so.

On top of that, he was learning all kinds of new things about his tail now that it was restored. Bulma had almost had a heart attack when he went from talking cheerfully to snarling and being ready to attack something when the scent in the air changed just a little bit. That's territorial males for you. I'd even heard him growl when Yamcha got too close to me just walking down the hall – the idiot was staying at Capsule Corp with Bulma for a while, in case you didn't guess – and after that, Kakarot stayed literally within an inch from me, glaring at anyone that looked at him wrong.

He had better control over it now, he could even write while holding the pen in his tail – which I thought was an improvement to said tail getting trodden on accidentally. Needless to say, the first few days were host to much stumbling and getting fur caught in things. But like all changes, he adapted rather quickly.

On the flip side, I was having a very hard time adjusting to the constant changes of pregnancy. One episode I'll be sure to remember was about a week after we got our tails back.

Bulma was talking to the two of us – we were just sitting on the couch, trying to figure out what she was lecturing about _this_ time – when a very sudden, very sharp stab hit me below the ribs. At first I thought Kakarot had punched me lightly, but then I realized it had come from inside. Kakarot – who'd had his hand resting protectively on my abdomen at the time – tensed slightly and shot me a look out of the corner of his eye; stating plainly; _don't say anything out loud._

'_Okay,'_ I directed my thoughts at him, _'Then what the hell was that? You felt it too, right?'_

Obviously we were getting better at telepathy, to the point of having conversations other people weren't even aware of.

'_Don't worry about it… the baby just kicked.'_ He answered simply, but I could sense his amazement and pride as if it were my own.

We got yelled at by Bulma for not paying attention to her, but it was totally worth it.

X

Kakarot was kissing me. And this time it wasn't a dream. I was leaning back against a sturdy tree, sitting in the grass while my mate – sitting next to me – kissed my lips and cheeks; one hand caressing the small curve of my belly gently.

'_I love you, Vegeta,'_ his thoughts entered my mind quietly.

'_I know,'_ I replied, twining his tail with mine, '_I love you too.'_

A rude, rough voice interrupted the pleasant scene, "Hey, we got us a couple of homos over here!"

Kakarot broke away from me sharply, baring his teeth in a snarl at a small gang of human teenagers nearby, who were jeering and laughing, pointing fingers. I felt the fur along Kakarot's tail bristle warningly.

"Just ignore them, Kakarot," I said tactfully, "They're humans; they don't know any better."

"Like hell they don't," he growled between his teeth.

The group of teenagers snickered and one started making smooching noises mockingly.

"That's it," Kakarot snapped, "They are _so_ dead."

He started to get up, but I held him down forcefully.

"No, Kakarot. Leave them, it's not worth it."

"But they –" he began heatedly, tail lashing.

"They don't know you, or me, or anything about us." I forced his gaze down to mine, knowing full well what he could do if I let go, "Just drop it."

For a moment I thought he'd defy me and go after them, but in the end he shot a last murderous glance at the ruffians, grit his teeth and sat down.

"I save the world ten times and _this_ is the thanks I get?" he muttered dubiously, plucking at the grass without interest.

"_You _know everything you've done for this planet; and I know. That's enough."

He sighed and drew his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them.

"How long do Saiyans live for?" he asked eventually. It seemed a little out of the blue, but I answered honestly.

"Most of us die in battle, but I think the oldest was over three hundred years old…. Why?"

I watched the human teens lose interest after a while and trudge away, talking boisterously about who-knows-what. _They should count themselves lucky they even got to walk home today. I was damn close to just letting Kakarot go and sitting back to watch the blood fly._

Kakarot's gaze fell on me, it was disapproving. '_Don't think about that. You'll get my adrenaline up again.'_

"No reason," he said out loud, "I'm just wondering by how long I'll outlive my human friends; and how lucky I am to have you, who won't die long before I will."

_Centuries to live. Centuries to love. If only it were that easy._

I reminded myself that I probably wouldn't live half that long, even if I did survive this pregnancy thing. The strain on my body might well kill me anyway.

"I'm lucky to have you too, Kakarot." I said, stretching my sore back and getting to my feet, "Not many people could put up with a pregnant male alien as a mate. I'm glad you can."

Eh, technically I wasn't an alien to Kakarot because we were from the same planet, but you get my point.

He stood as well; stretching with a bit more panache than necessary, probably still hyped up on testosterone from those idiots' taunting. I got an amusing mental image of my mate flexing his muscles and showing off while shooting casual looks over his shoulder at me. It was nice to be the center of such devotion, worthy of being fought over and defended.

"Hey Vegeta?" he asked as I started towards the house. I let my tail flick once before turning and responding.

"Yes?"

A genuine grin slid across Kakarot's face, "Love you."

I smiled in return, "And I you, Kakarot."

Despite everything that had changed about Kakarot in the last four months or so, at least he still had the ability to forgive and forget, and that was all he really needed. Happy-go-lucky childishness and innocence be damned.

A smirk edged the side of my mouth as I turned and started walking again. Kakarot was by _no means_ innocent… perhaps he'd never been. And anyone that thought otherwise just didn't know him like I did.

TBC


	26. Chapter 26

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 26

Insanity is waking up in the morning with an aching spine and a desperate need to eat chocolate. And, just my luck, I woke to both that morning; and Kakarot seemed to sense my thoughts because he groaned and rubbed his eyes exasperatedly.

"And….. Here we go with the godsdamned cravings," he muttered.

I turned over and blinked at him, trying to force the desire for sugary saccharinity from my mind. It wasn't dignified and I would _not_ stand for it. Unless…. _Dammit, don't think about it!_

Kakarot gave a short laugh, "No use fighting it; it only gets worse."

I made a sound of protest, "Why me?"

He smiled and kissed me lightly, "Because it was meant to be," he got to his feet with a yawn, throwing on a jacket hastily, "Stay put. I'll go get you some chocolate."

I hoped – despite my mental arguments – that by "some" he meant a lot.

I sat up, stretching and flicking the kinks out of my tail. It had almost been five months now. I think I was finally getting the hang of this pregnancy thing; all I had to do was expect the unexpected.

I got up and removed my shirt, opening the dresser to get a new one when my gaze landed on my midriff. Aside from the area being tight and swollen, there were a collection of thin pink scars around my waistline where the skin had grown taut. Now I had to deal with stretch marks. Great.

I wasn't allowed to ponder this for more than a moment because my thoughts returned to chocolate without my consent. It was stupid, how much I wanted it. Almost as much as I wanted Kakarot to kiss me all the time….. and of course that thought lead to a bunch of thoughts that sent my tail curling. Just imagining Kakarot's lips on mine, sweet melting chocolate smothering his tongue as it moved against my own. I could almost combine the flavors in my mind.

Fully dressed, but no more satisfied than when I'd woken up, I meandered down the stairs, wondering how much persuasion it would take to initiate a chocolate kiss. I stopped mid-step and slapped myself frustratedly in the forehead. Being pregnant was turning me into a mush. Where was my princely edge? Where had my careless scowls and unquestionable air of authority gone?

I was so distressed that I passed by Yamcha on the stairs without even glaring at him for still being in my house… but it wasn't really my house, was it? Technically it was Bulma's; it had always been. I felt the frown that had been furrowing my eyebrows deepen. Kakarot had a house, but it wasn't anywhere _near_ being mine. I didn't belong anywhere.

I was just getting semi-comfortable on the couch – that wasn't mine either – when the door swung open and Kakarot came in, handing me a sizeable bar of chocolate that appeared to be the first of many before sitting down. I looked at the rectangle of foil-wrapped candy. I didn't even really want it anymore; strangely, but I unwrapped a corner and bit it to make him happy. I ran the same line of thought over and over in my mind as I chewed without tasting; I was becoming someone else, and there was literally nowhere that I fit in anymore…. maybe I never had. I was a freak of nature, even more so than usual. Just an oddity in this joke that passed for a universe.

I was aware that my mate was watching me concernedly, and I suddenly became self-conscious – something I had almost _never_ been in Kakarot's presence.

"Something's bothering you," he said steadily, crossing one leg over the other, "I can tell that much. But you shut me out somehow, and I can't see what it is."

"It's nothing," I muttered as I shredded a strip of tin foil wrapping from the chocolate bar, "Just the usual fretting and such."

I'd never been good at lying to him; but now that he could sense my emotions so well, it was near impossible to even try. He just raised an eyebrow in blatant cynicism and waited for me to come clean.

I sighed and set the chocolate down, "Okay fine, I'm all stressed out over the whole pregnancy thing. I feel like a useless lump and I can't do anything anymore."

"Old news," he said simply, "I already knew that. And I've told you how proud I am that you're dealing with this as diligently as you are; but that's not what's bugging you right now."

Man, not even the half-truth would do it anymore.

"I feel like a freak," I said honestly, "I feel like I don't belong anywhere and the whole universe is just laughing at me."

He didn't respond the way I'd expected him to.

"Why?" he asked, genuinely interested. I'd expected him to dismiss my worries as impossible and give me some words of comfort that were greatly overused.

"Why?" I echoed, "Because my whole world's upside down, because I used to have it all and now I've got nothing,"

"You've got me," Kakarot pointed out.

"Not the point," I snapped, surprised by my briskness, "I used to be the prince of an entire race. I slaughtered for fun and purged for pleasure. I was even second in command at Capsule Corporation for a time; millions of Earth dollars and the respect of half the population promised to me once the woman passed away. I was a Super Saiyan, I was free."

Kakarot tilted his head to one side slightly, "You've still got about half of those things. You're still a Super Saiyan - that's not about to change - you never stopped being a prince; and once the baby's born, you'll be free again."

I wished I could share his faith, but I couldn't.

"And if it's a place to belong you want," Kakarot went on flatly, his gaze on the floor, "I can't make you a millionaire or force a nation to bow to you and sign petitions or whatever; but I can give you this much."

With that, he took my hand and teleported, still not meeting my eye. We reappeared at the doorway to Kakarot's house at Mt. Paozu.

"It's not that I don't appreciate the gesture, but –" I began, but he held a hand up to silence me.

"No offense, Vegeta," he said easily, "But you talk way too much. If you'd just look and listen for once I could show you something."

I was about to argue, but instead I fell silent, nodding mutely.

He led me inside without a word, turning to face me with a gleam in his eyes that I didn't recognize.

"Close your eyes, okay?"

I bit my lip to keep from voicing my questions and let my eyes close trustingly.

I felt his hands on my shoulders, guiding me gently, saying nothing.

He stopped after a moment and removed his hands from me.

"Alright, now you can look."

I opened my eyes slowly; my mate was standing next to me, watching my expression with an air of anticipation. I looked around, trying to recognize the room. It was relatively small and painted a pale, mossy green. The window was curtained enough to keep out the sun's rays, but letting in plenty of light. The floor was carpeted in a spread of various pelts and woven mats. My eyes landed on a wooden crib in the corner and my heart skipped a beat.

Kakarot had made a nursery.

I walked over to the crib, peering over the side to see an almost nest-like tangle of blankets and other soft things. Very Saiyan. I nearly hit my head on an intricate, rotating mobile decorated with eagle feathers and wooden carvings of Saiya-go letters. Similar runes were carved into the walls, near the ceiling, which was painted with the constellations.

I turned to Kakarot in awe, "You made this?"

He nodded once, "ChiChi always said I could make just about anything with wood, and I think I proved her right."

The very fact that he'd put this much thought, this much _effort_, into something like this was astounding.

"Even the stars?" I asked, gesturing at the silver patterns swirling across the ceiling.

"Well… I had a little help. Gohan and Goten were great; it wouldn't look anything like this without them."

"You didn't tell me," I murmured.

"I know," he said softly, "I wanted to surprise you; I hope you're not mad."

"How could I _possibly_ be …?" I began, "This is… incredible…how long did it take you to make?"

He shrugged, "A month or two, the letters were hard to get right, and the ceiling took forever…."

I hesitated for the longest time before leaning forward and hugging him, "It's amazing, Kakarot. I can't think of anywhere I'd rather raise our son."

"Then you'll stay?" he asked, embracing me back, "And live here with me?"

"Of course," I nodded fervently, "How could I refuse?"

Kakarot let me go, smiling simply.

And for once, the thought that I had less than a fifty percent chance of ever using this room didn't occur to me.

TBC


	27. Chapter 27

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 27

"Seven months and nothing's gone wrong yet," Kakarot sighed, folding his arms behind his head and lying down, "Maybe Bulma was wrong…"

I agreed that it was possible with my voice, but with my mind I doubted every word. The woman was _never_ wrong… and I'd been having my own personal misgivings as well. Seven months was more than three-quarters through a human pregnancy…. but for Saiyans it might be very different. I often wondered how I'd be able to tell if a Saiyan's term was longer… or shorter….

My mate's fingers laced with mine and he placed the joined hands gently on my rounded belly. The tiny form within moved slightly in response, as if sensing its parents' presence.

"It'll be alright, Vegeta," Kakarot murmured, "I know it will."

"I hope so," I whispered, letting myself drift to sleep.

X

"This is getting ridiculous," I grumbled, trying to force my shirt down over my stomach.

Kakarot tossed me a dark blue gi top, "Use one of mine, they're a lot looser."

I blinked and looked at the indigo garment, bringing it up to my face to put it on. It even _smelled _like him. Strange that something as simple as clothes could be a comfort now.

"Come on, Bulma wants to check you over again today." The other Saiyan said as he stood on one foot, pulling on one of his boots.

I scowled, "Again?"

"That's what she said,"

My tail flicked in annoyance, "Fine, whatever."

I shivered as Kakarot kissed my shoulder from behind. I hadn't even seen him move.

"I wish I could do it myself; I know you don't like people staring at you," he said quietly, "But Bulma's the only one who knows how."

"If _you_ did it, then _you'd_ be staring at me," I muttered.

"True," he purred, "But you wouldn't really mind that, would you?"

Gods, if he kept purring like that, I wouldn't mind letting him do anything.

I pushed him gently, "Come on, idiot, we're going to be late."

He looked as disappointed as I felt, but he nodded and followed me out.

X

"I don't care if you like it, Vegeta, it's the start of the third trimester and you need an examination." Bulma said curtly as she ushered me into her sterile white lab room.

"I haven't said anything against it, woman." I said shortly.

"I know, but your expression says it all."

Grumbling indignantly, I got up on her stupid medical table and fixed her with the death-glare that I knew scared everybody.

While she took my blood pressure, she asked me a bunch of dumb questions.

"Anything unusual happen recently?" she inquired.

"Besides everything?" I muttered.

"Anything that really stands out?"

"Uh….not really…."

I glanced at Kakarot, sitting patiently near the door; maybe he'd seen something I hadn't.

"Nothing," he said briskly.

"Huh. Well you _should _be experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions around now,"

"What are you babbling about now?" I snapped.

"Usually in the third trimester the uterus practices contracting to prepare for the real thing. It shouldn't hurt, but you should feel them..."

"In case you haven't noticed, woman, I do not _have_ a uterus." I growled.

"That's right," Kakarot looked up from where he was sitting, "Is that going to be a problem when…?"

"I don't know," Bulma sighed, "I can never be sure with this; it's a miracle that you've even gotten this far."

"Well, isn't that comforting?" I said sarcastically, taking off my – Kakarot's – shirt so the woman could do her little ultrasound thing.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Bulma said, but she didn't look like she meant it, "You Saiyans are stubborn and strong, if anyone can pull it off, you can."

The scanner slid through the layer of gel on my stomach and I looked at the monitor next to me.

"Well the good news is, the risk of miscarriage is greatly reduced in the third trimester; however that doesn't mean that a certain amount of stress wouldn't –" Bulma began, but she was interrupted.

"He's got hair," Kakarot breathed, I looked over my shoulder to see him standing a few feet away.

I returned my attention to the screen. True, the little creature appeared to be growing hair. Not a lot, but you could see where it was starting to sprout on his head and tail.

"Saiyans are born with all the hair they'll ever have," I explained, "So it would make sense that it grows pretty early-on."

"Do you think he'll look more like you, or like me?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know," I said honestly. There was a moment of silence.

"He might be a Super Saiyan," Kakarot whispered.

I blinked. I hadn't even thought of that.

"Yeah," I agreed, looking back at the little miracle before me, "He might be."

TBC


	28. Chapter 28

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 28

Another month passed uneventfully. I wish I could have gone into detail but… nothing happened. Bulma was starting to get worried, saying that I was far behind schedule and that she didn't know what to expect anymore. I kept telling her that Saiyans were different and not to rush things, but every time I looked in the mirror I found myself asking mentally, _why isn't this all over yet?_

Kakarot did his best to sooth me, but I could tell he was running out of ideas too. He was so anxious that sometimes he paced without reason, muttering under his breath, eyes darting, tail lashing. The stress really showed when Goten asked him something and he went full-on Super Saiyan in frustration; frightening the child and singeing the walls. I asked him why he was so angry, and he said he wasn't; just scared.

The next week, I got sick. Not just morning sickness; it was like the flu. Like, stay-in-bed-all-day-every-day-drink-plenty-of-fluids sick; plus a sore throat that made me feel like I was swallowing nails. Bulma fretted that the extra stress could cause serious problems, and Kakarot was beside himself. One night I sensed he was lost in another nightmare, the next I heard him crying shakily. I could do little more than lie still and try not to throw up, but I wished I could help him; I wished I could tell him it would all be okay.

"How's his fever?" Gohan's voice sounded in the other room the next morning; though he was murmuring softly, I could hear him clearly. I wasn't supposed to listen in, but I did.

"A hundred and three," Kakarot answered through gritted teeth; I heard him snap the thermometer between his fingers like a toothpick; "It's getting worse."

"Dad, you're really tense, you should sit down," the demi said quietly.

"I've already tried everything," Kakarot growled, "It doesn't help."

"You think you're going to lose him," Gohan susurrated, "But he'll pull through, you'll see."

"What if he doesn't?" Kakarot snarled.

"He will." Gohan assured him, "Vegeta's a stubborn piece of work; he won't be beaten so easily."

"But what about the baby?" Kakarot asked in a hushed voice; I could just picture his expression, and it made my heart ache.

"That's in the gods' hands." The demi responded gently.

X

Three days went by, wherein I was sick as a dog and Kakarot worried his hair out; and my fever broke at four a.m. at the end of the third day. I was relieved; not only because I wasn't puking my guts out anymore, but because it meant my mate would stop worrying so much. The _minute_ I got out of bed the next day, he took me in his arms and kissed me like he'd never get enough. And when I warned him I might be contagious still, he said he didn't give a damn.

I was given the all-clear from Bulma the following day, and some semblance of normalcy returned to the freak-show that was my life.

Speaking of Bulma, she was hanging around Kakarot's house a lot more lately – whether invited or not – when I asked her why, she said she was essentially "taking notes".

"It's a medical mystery," she said, "Eight months pregnant and it looks like it's hardly been six."

I winced as the baby gave a rather rough kick, right on cue.

"Yeah, well it feels like it's been nine." I muttered as I walked away; not quite as dignified as I would have liked.

The days I actually enjoyed were the ones I spent with Kakarot and the half-Saiyans. On one of these days, he took everyone to the lake to fish. And while Trunks and Goten splashed in the shallows and Gohan read under a tree, we lay back in the grass and watched the dragonflies skim over the water. Nothing was caught that day, but it was a nice memory.

Another day, I was left alone in the house while Kakarot sparred with his sons outside. It had been a long time since he'd gotten any exercise, and I could sense his excitement and eagerness resonating through me as if it were mine. I didn't feel left out for once, and I was happy for him.

The sun set and Kakarot still hadn't returned; so busy was he in punching the ever-loving crap out of his "opponents". I half-slept; feeling the child inside me turning over beneath my fingers.

As night fell, I wandered into the kitchen to get some water; when, quite suddenly, I doubled over as my whole body was wracked with pain. I looked up after the wave of agony subsided; I was shaking and I could barely see my hand in front of my face. I glanced at my legs and saw a trickle of blood snaking down from the cuffs of my shorts.

A surge of dizziness swept over me, accompanied by another bolt of pain.

'_Kakarot…. help…'_ I managed to force out through my mind before I collapsed on the floor.

TBC


	29. Chapter 29

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 29

My whole world was reeling; I could barely see anything, let alone sense whether Kakarot was near of far. Sweat drenched my skin, and I felt hot blood running in rivulets down my thighs. My cheek was pressed against the cold tile of the floor, but I couldn't make myself move. I couldn't find the strength to even call for help again.

I heard running footsteps and looked up dazedly to see the blurry form of my mate kneeling beside me.

"Oh gods, Vegeta, what happened?" he demanded frantically, "Did you fall or -?"

I grated my teeth together as another torrent of pain gripped me.

Through the blur, I could sense Kakarot's panic, I could see him looking around as if for aid; yet unable to do anything himself.

"Bulma," he said finally, "She'll know what to do."

He placed a hand on my shivering shoulder and teleported.

The woman asked about a million rapid questions that didn't even register for me.

I heard Kakarot reply in a terrified shout, "I don't know what to do!"

"Calm down!" the woman snapped, "Vegeta, can you hear me?"

I stifled a groan as an ache fisted in my stomach, but forced myself to nod.

"You've gone into labor early," she informed me, spreading a white sheet on her table thing, "I'm not sure what that entails for Saiyans, but you're in for a rough night."

"What do we do?" Kakarot demanded.

"I'll try to get some anesthetic kicked in. Eight months is early for _humans,_ I imagine it's even more untimely for Saiyans…. And this may be a tough one; men aren't designed for childbirth."

Kakarot lay me gently on the medical table, his coal eyes locked onto mine; though my own wouldn't focus.

"It's going to be okay, Vegeta," he promised; I heard the desperation in his voice as it cracked, "You're going to be fine."

He ran a hand gingerly through my sweat-soaked hair, and I attempted to give him a response and failed.

The agony calmed after what might have been a minute, or an hour. I tried to lay still and not trigger another stab of pain, breathing hard and perspiring.

"Fuck… no one… warned me… about this…" I panted roughly.

Kakarot looked up, as if surprised to hear me speak, "I did." he said, "Way back when, I warned you."

I tried to think back, but my mind was like sludge.

Bulma bustled in, propping my head up with a pillow and undoing the drawstring of my shorts, slipping the pants off, much to my discomfort.

I should have felt violated, but I ached from my fingers to the tip of my tail, so I just remained still, thinking of soothing things.

"I'm right here, Vegeta," Kakarot murmured, as if sensing my thoughts, "I'm not going anywhere."

I felt something prick my arm and realized the woman had hooked up an IV line. A chill crept from the needle site all the way up my arm as the fluids flooded my veins.

"At least it's calm for now," she said quietly, taking a seat.

There was something about the way she said '_for now'_ that made me nervous. The worst was yet to come. And when it did…. it would take a _long_ time.

Kakarot's eyebrows furrowed a little, "Aren't you supposed to use an epidural?" he asked.

"Do I _look_ like I have a giant needle lying around?" Bulma snapped, "I don't have _all_ the fancy things we need; I have to improvise. Unless you'd rather teleport us to a hospital; that is…"

Kakarot paled upon hearing the words and shook his head, sitting down as well; in a chair directly next to me.

A dull throbbing was building in my lower region, my only warning before another violent contraction hit. I cried out and squeezed my eyes shut, willing the pain away and somehow making it worse.

The vicious cramp released me after a few minutes and I lay back, gulping air.

"I'm here," Kakarot soothed, taking my hand gently, "It's okay."

"It's too soon," Bulma fretted, "There's so much that could go wrong…"

"Shut up!" Kakarot snarled, "You think I don't know that?"

The woman fell silent.

"Why all the blood?" Kakarot asked quietly after a minute, "I don't remember that with ChiChi…"

"His pelvis is a lot narrower than a woman's," Bulma explained, "And the only…. opening… is a lot smaller; less suited for the job. Like I said, men aren't meant to give birth."

I shut my eyes as I felt the throbbing start up again, praying silently to the gods for strength.

"Here comes another one," I said shakily, a few moments before the next contraction wracked my body.

They seemed to get worse as they progressed. I couldn't speak, couldn't think, the pain was so intense. It was like my own flesh was rebelling against me, stabbing and slicing and clenching until I practically begged for it to stop.

In the wake of one of them, I felt a warm, gentle energy filling me from within; a pool of soothing heat filling me and giving me courage.

"What are you doing?" Bulma asked Kakarot.

I heard him respond quietly, "I'm giving him some of my ki…. It's all I can do to help."

Even when there was nothing anyone could do to help me, he _still_ came to my aid.

X

I might have fallen asleep at some point, so great was my exhaustion; but I was awakened shortly after by another powerful cramp. Clenching my teeth, I shuddered with it until it passed; breaking out in sweat again.

I felt the contact of Kakarot's lips touching my forehead.

"So brave," he whispered, "I'm so proud of you."

"What… time is it?" I asked waveringly.

"About one o'clock in the morning," he replied, wiping a stream of sweat from my brow.

"You should be asleep," I murmured.

He shook his head, "I won't leave you until this is over."

X

I thought the worst had passed when a half hour went by; I kind of got used to the cramps and I could almost predict when the next one would come. I thought it was almost over.

I could not have been more wrong.

The next contraction stuck without warning, catching me completely off guard. I didn't have time to brace myself, and a ragged scream ripped from my throat as it grabbed me. The pain had hardly diminished when another one hit, slashing through me like a knife. I was almost sobbing by the time it faded, praying for an end to this torment.

"This isn't right," Bulma said anxiously, "Something should at least be visible by now, it's been hours."

"What?" Kakarot shouted, "I thought you said it was going well,"

"Yeah, it _was,_" Bulma shot back, "But this just isn't normal."

"Well then what do we do?" Kakarot demanded.

Bulma outdid herself with her reply, "I… I don't know!"

There was a second's ringing silence, even for me.

"You're the scientist; you're supposed to know what to do!" Kakarot accused.

"Well I don't!" the woman snapped, "Usually I'd… never mind…"

Another deluge of agony roared through me and I bit off a shriek of pain.

"What?" Kakarot pleaded, "Usually you'd what?"

"Nothing," Bulma said quickly.

"Dammit, do _something_ or he's going to die!" Kakarot shouted desperately.

"It won't work, I might kill him!" Bulma countered.

I heard a sob, and I realized it didn't belong to me.

"Please," Kakarot begged, "Please try… I can feel…" he swallowed hard, "His ki… it's fading…"

"Well usually I'd say to abort the birth and cut the baby out of him, but…"

"But what?"

"It's risky… and I don't have enough time to give him a strong enough painkiller."

I squinted open one eye, gasping for breath, and saw the conflict scrawled over my mate's face.

He looked at me, but spoke to the woman, "If you did… would the baby be okay?"

"It might," Bulma said uncertainly, "There's a high chance they both wouldn't make it."

Kakarot looked back at her, and I glimpsed the intensity in his eyes, "If you don't, they'll both die."

"But… without applying anesthetic to the area…" the woman began.

"Don't worry about that!" Kakarot snapped.

I groaned weakly as a shuddering river of pain rippled through me; I didn't have the energy to properly voice my suffering, and I felt my vision blurring again.

"Vegeta," Kakarot spoke to me quietly, steadily, "Do you trust me?"

I waited for the agony to subside before nodding tautly.

"Good," Kakarot murmured, "…I'm sorry,"

I was confused, and I opened one eye painfully. I barely had time to see him move before his fist collided with my head, knocking me out.

TBC


	30. Chapter 30

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 30

I thought my head would explode. I hurt everywhere and felt like I'd been run over by at least a dozen freight trains. I tried to open my eyes, but they refused my command. A stabbing pain was emanating from my midsection.

"W….what happened?" I slurred weakly.

"You're awake!" Kakarot's voice rang out like the peal of a bell and I cringed, forcing my head to stop pounding and squeezing my eyes shut.

"How do you feel?" That was the woman; her voice was also louder than my ears could stand.

"Awful," I muttered.

Another sound invaded my sense of hearing. A high-pitched, screeching wail.

Despite the pain and exhaustion, my eyes snapped open in shock.

Kakarot was sitting on the edge of the bed; he looked tired and his shirt was stained with blood. In his arms he held an infant with a head of damp, black-brown hair. The little creature was crying plaintively; a sound that caused something to stir in me.

"K-Kakarot…?" I stammered, trying to sit up painfully; "D-did you…? Did I…?"

"Say hello to your son," Kakarot murmured, leaning across the space between us and placing the squalling babe in my arms. I'd never seen anything more beautiful… more perfect.

"I… I named him," my mate said hesitantly, "Tesserot."

"Tesserot," I echoed, "'impossible miracle'?"

He nodded.

"That's perfect," I whispered, holding the child closer to me and purring comfortingly. Tesserot's cries quieted and he kneaded my chest with his little fists. I felt damn near tears.

I shifted my weight and a slashing pain ripped across my abdomen. I choked and winced until it faded.

I glanced down and saw a long scar lashed across my midsection. Sewn closed with neat sutures, the wound was raw and still bled sluggishly. The entire area ached something terrible.

"Sorry it had to come to that," Kakarot sighed, "Bulma says it'll take a long time to heal, and we haven't got any senzu."

"It's fine," I muttered, "Speaking of… where did the woman run off to?"

Right on cue, said woman came through the doorway and handed me something.

"A bottle?" I queried.

"Well obviously _you've_ got no method of feeding him." Bulma smirked, "Unlike you Saiyans, I think ahead."

As if in response to the smell of milk, Tesserot wriggled against my skin and made a high, whimpering sound. I blinked and placed the nipple of the bottle near his mouth. Immediately, he latched onto it and started sucking hungrily.

"Wow," Kakarot observed, coming to sit beside me, "He's sure got an appetite,"

"He gets that from his father," I snickered; then grew more serious, "Actually, aside from the color, his hair looks a lot like yours."

"Yeah, but he's got your nose, for sure," Kakarot added.

Eventually, Tesserot let go of the bottle and snuggled up to my chest with a contented little sigh. Kakarot started purring, and I joined him after a moment, the vibration causing a twinge of discomfort in the scar on my stomach, but soothing it at the same time.

The baby's delicate tail wrapped around my wrist as he fell asleep, the higher, softer sound of his own purr synching with his parents'.

"I'll leave you guys alone for now," Bulma announced quietly, "Get some rest, and yell if you need anything."

I nodded as she left; then curled up next to my mate; resting my head on his arm, which supported my shoulders.

"Go to sleep, Vegeta," he murmured, "You've earned it…. and don't worry, I'll look after both of you."

I couldn't fight exhaustion anymore, and just let the heaviness weighing down my limbs drag me into sleep.

X

I woke up in my own bed….. Technically Kakarot's bed, but it was mine too now. Little Tesserot was curled in a ball, sandwiched between his parents and purring quietly. Initially, I was amazed that he hadn't gotten crushed in the night, but when I looked up, I saw Kakarot's eyes on the infant; keeping watch and making sure no harm befell him.

"Your turn to get some sleep," I said softly; he looked like he would protest, so I added, "Relax, I can watch him now."

The argument left Kakarot's face quite suddenly and he nodded, lying down and closing his eyes. A moment passed before he fell asleep. _He was up all night too,_ I thought, _and the stress itself must have been taxing on his strength._

I kissed my mate's cheek gently and drew Tesserot closer to me, purring for him and stroking his little face with my tail.

_Well, parenthood's going to be challenging; but at least the worst is over now._

TBC


	31. Chapter 31

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 31

It was early. Too damn early to be woken up by Tesserot crying right in my ear. It had been a full day since the baby had been born, and now it was three o'clock in the morning and he was bawling. Kakarot sat up with a grumbled curse, shaking me awake. As if I wasn't awake already.

I got up without protest, wincing as the relatively new scar on my stomach stretched painfully. I went downstairs; filled a bottle with the formula Bulma had sent, and heated it up, watching the numbers on the clock wink as each minute passed.

I took the stairs two at a time, screwing the lid on the bottle at the same time. As I walked back into the bedroom, I found that Kakarot had turned on the light and was cradling Tesserot in his arms, murmuring soothing words and purring. He handed the infant to me as I sat down, and I coaxed the little one to take the nipple of the bottle in his mouth. While Tesserot suckled happily, I turned to my mate.

"I have a feeling this is going to be a regular thing," I muttered.

"Yep. That and the diaper changing," Kakarot agreed, "Didn't you…? Never mind. I forgot you weren't there when Trunks was little."

"That I wasn't." I sighed. I supposed I could get used to this.

"Don't worry, it gets easier." Kakarot said quietly, lying back and stacking his hands under his head, looking up at the ceiling.

I felt his eyes on me after a while.

"What?"

"….You'll be okay, right?" he seemed to be afraid of sounding foolish.

I shrugged, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I just…. I worry…" he mumbled.

"I know," I nodded, turning my attention back to Tesserot slowly, "I'll be fine."

Tesserot let go of the bottle and started crying again.

I tried to figure out what he was trying to tell me, then gave up and looked at Kakarot.

"What's wrong this time?"

My mate chuckled shortly and sat up, "Aw, he just needs to burp, right Tess?"

Kakarot guided my hands so that the baby's head was supported on my shoulder, "Pat his back, you'll know when you did it right."

Feeling idiotic, I did as he said. Eventually, Tesserot's crying subsided and he burped softly before curling up against my shoulder and falling asleep.

I raised an eyebrow at my mate, "If you're such an expert, why'd you make me do it?"

"Not that I won't always be there for you, but you'll need to know how to do things like that on your own. After all, there're only two of us."

"And only one of him," I pointed out.

That elicited a laugh from Kakarot, "Believe me; he's going to keep our hands full."

It was a strange situation that Kakarot knew so much more than me. That _he_ had something to teach _me_, instead of the other way around.

I set the nearly empty bottle on the bedside table and lay back down, hugging little Tesserot to my chest gently; his short, satiny hair tickled my face and I breathed in his scent, familiarizing myself with it, memorizing it.

"Eventually he'll be old enough to sleep on his own," Kakarot muttered as he lay down as well, "And then we'll get a few hours' peace."

I smiled into my son's hair, twining my mate's tail with my own. I had all the peace I needed right there.

X

Goten, Gohan and Trunks came to meet their baby brother the next day. Well, technically half-brother, but all three of them rejected that term determinedly; insisting we were all one big family now.

"He's so small," Trunks said in a hushed voice; trying not to wake the baby, who was asleep in his father's arms.

Kakarot smiled, "Well he's only two days old, Trunks."

"I can't wait to teach him how to talk, and how to fly, and how to get on Gohan's nerves," Goten chattered. Gohan shot him a semi-annoyed look before giving a kinder one to the child in Kakarot's lap.

"You guys'll be great parents," he said with conviction, "I can tell."

"Yeah," Kakarot agreed, kissing me on the cheek and making me blush right in front of the demis. I shoved him teasingly, careful not to disturb little Tess while he slept.

X

A week or two went by. Kakarot was gone for a few hours; he needed to stretch his legs and get some things done. I, of course, had no such luxury, but I didn't really mind.

The door slammed as he returned. I was amazed that the noise didn't wake up Tesserot, who was sleeping in my lap; but even more amazed that Kakarot would be so careless in the first place.

"That… gods…damn….. woman…." He snarled as he sat down across from me, "How did I _ever_ survive being married to her for twenty-five _years?_"

"You went to see ChiChi?" I asked, surprised, "Why?"

"I didn't," Kakarot muttered, reining in his temper; which I hadn't seen hide-nor-hair of for almost two weeks until now, "She was at Capsule Corp, bringing Goten back from his weekend visit."

"And…?" I prompted, soothing Tesserot with a quick purr as he stirred in his sleep.

"Nothing." He grumbled, "She just gave me this disgusted look_._ And I heard her whisper something to Goten before she left…. I don't think she noticed that I heard."

I smirked grimly, "That woman underestimates Saiyan senses too often, if you ask me."

"Whatever," he sighed, "It's not important."

"Good," I smiled briefly, "I'm glad you're not dwelling on it."

"Anyway, how did things go here?"

"Fine," I said honestly, "Tesserot just got his lunch, so he's be out like a light for a few hours."

A quiet sniffle sounded from the baby, as if to prove my point.

Yes, Tesserot slept a lot. I think his tiny life in general just tired him out. He was so young, and he'd been brought into the world really early and rather traumatically, so I didn't blame him.

"Why don't you let him sleep in the crib?" Kakarot suggested, "Just for a little while?"

I caught his meaning even though he didn't send it telepathically. _I want to be alone with you for once._

I hesitated, weighing the near-obsessive protectiveness I felt towards the baby versus my own desire to have a moment alone with my mate.

"Okay," I said after a while; deciding that there was no real reason why I couldn't.

X

I shut the door to the nursery silently, mentally debating the decision to leave Tesserot alone for the first time in his life.

I walked back into the living room almost regretfully, shutting out worries and sitting down next to Kakarot on the couch.

"Trust me, he'll be fine," Kakarot assured me… and I realized I believed him; "I've just been missing the freedom to do this,"

With that, he closed the space between us and enveloped his lips over mine. I kissed him back tentatively, doubting that I could actually put everything aside and just be here with him.

'_Relax. I'm on high alert too,'_ his thoughts soothed me.

I hesitated a moment longer before giving in and parting my lips for him. He sank his tongue in eagerly and held me close, purring in that special I-love-you-and-only-you way he reserved for me alone. Pure, unadulterated heaven.

A few minutes passed much too fast and I heard a wail ring out from Tesserot's room. I broke away from my mate's embrace with a sigh of disappointment, but dutifully got to my feet to see to the child's needs that would always come before my own.

TBC


	32. Chapter 32

_((I've had a lot of short chapters, so here's a decent-sized one for once.))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 32

Now I could go into detail about every little thing that happened in the first two months after Tesserot was born, but it was basically just sleep-deprivation, diaper changing, repeat. He fully opened his eyes around week three, he started crawling during the first month, and teething during the second. I thanked rapid Saiyan development that he grew so fast; I wasn't so worried about accidentally hurting him now that he was bigger.

So… now it had been three months. Tesserot started eating semi-solid food eventually – and by that I mean mushed bananas and such – which had resulted in a rather hilarious blender incident in which both Kakarot and I had been splattered from head to toe with partially-blended baby food. Much scrubbing, laundry, and showering later, I managed to explain to my clueless mate that the lid has to be completely _on_ the blender if you don't want it to turn into a food geyser.

Tesserot wasn't the most talkative baby in the world. In fact he barely made a sound, but he seemed fascinated by the world and would sometimes stop whatever he was doing just to stare at something in apparent amazement. He learned fast too, and soon was on board with the difference between Kakarot and me. And it wasn't what you might think. He learned that if he acted up around Kakarot, he got a stern repercussion and was sometimes placed in his crib for a few minutes as a punishment. On the contrary, if he misbehaved around me, I couldn't bring myself to discipline him; and usually he got off scott-free. So the difference between daddy and mommy was that one was a parent, and one was a pushover. When Kakarot pointed this out to me, I went through a serious identity examination as I tried to figure out exactly when I'd stopped being the arrogant prince I had been. Big surprise; it was right around the time I found out I was pregnant, almost a year ago.

X

Despite the fact that Tess had me wrapped around his little finger, it turned out Goten was his favorite. This pleased the demi-Saiyan greatly, and he –as he put it - took up the "commitment" of being his younger brother's "role model". I remember my first thought when he announced this was _'we're all doomed.'_

Four months since his birth and another huge milestone was crossed. Tesserot's first steps were perhaps early for his age –were he a human - but for a Saiyan, he was right where he should have been.

A huge compliment to my somewhat-deflated ego was the fact that Tess's first steps had been towards me. I had his breakfast ready and expected him to crawl over to me; imagine my surprise when he got unsteadily to his feet and took two or three wobbly steps before stumbling and giving me a look that seemed to say; '_that's as far as I go, now you bring the food to me.'_

On the flip side, in the middle of month five, the child's first word was directed at his father; much to Kakarot's shock and delight.

…And of course, being my son, his very first word was "No."

X

"What happens if Vegeta goes into season again?" Bulma asked one day when we were visiting at Capsule Corp. Tesserot was sitting not far away, playing around with his own tail quietly.

Kakarot groaned and hid his face in his hands, "I totally forgot about that." he sighed.

"It's not_ that_ big a deal," I muttered.

"Maybe to _you,_" Kakarot countered, "You weren't on the receiving end of the scent you were giving off last time. And now that we're mated it'll be nearly impossible for me to resist."

There was a moment's silence.

"Short of quarantining either you or me, how are we going to keep you from getting pregnant again?" he asked.

Bulma snickered into her hand, "Two words, Goku; con-doms."

Kakarot looked at her perplexedly.

Bulma's amusement heightened, "No wonder you have three sons and I only have one."

"Don't rub it in," Kakarot muttered.

I remained silent, thinking hard. It was certainly an unnerving thought that Kakarot wouldn't be able to control himself if I went into heat again… whatever he chose to do – or not do – I had virtually no say. But I trusted him, and I hoped he'd think before letting his hormones run away with him.

X

Just my luck, Bulma's warning became real just one short month afterwards. I was instantly aware of the difference; the way I felt like I was burning up under my skin, and that I wanted sex so badly that I thought I might spontaneously combust.

Kakarot's reaction was instantaneous as well. At first, he just refused to breathe through his nose; but I could sense that ignoring the scent was giving him a migraine, so he just avoided me; which made the headache worse. He was brusque with people and more territorial than usual; even showing teeth at his sons at some point….excluding Tesserot; who he saw as no threat, obviously.

On the second day, the mark on my shoulder started aching. I knew it was calling out to Kakarot, and that it was wearing his nerves to nothing to ignore it. Any conversation was short and tense, but I could hear my mate's thoughts running through his mind chaotically:

'_If I can just ignore him for a week… that's all I ask… just one week…seven days...'_

He barely made it three days without touching me. But when he lost control of his tail and it brushed against mine- as was the incident that day - he clamped down on the desire-laced thoughts racing through his head and just gritted his teeth and walked away. Self-restraint was never his strong point, but he was putting every ounce of his willpower into completely and utterly ignoring me.

And you can imagine how frustrating that was for me.

I knew as well as he did what the consequence would certainly be if he gave in; but unlike him, I didn't really see what the big deal was. If I did it once, I could do it again…. couldn't I?

With my mate forcibly disregarding me; I spent the majority of my time with my four – adopted or otherwise – sons. Shortly, I cut Gohan out of the equation when I saw the look he'd been giving me; apparently not even _he_ was immune to the scent. I thanked my lucky stars that Kakarot hadn't seen, or he would have gone ballistic.

Fortunately, the day to day activities involved in parenthood kept me busy, but not even Tesserot's constant needs could banish the scent hanging in the air; much as I wished they could.

X

Day five was hectic, to say the least. First of all, I left the house for the first time in six months – leaving Bulma and the demis in charge of Tesserot. I used my new freedom to get some exercise, flying through a kata and stretching out muscles that had been neglected for months and months - both while I was pregnant and tending to my newest son.

I was walking home when I was ambushed.

I tried to fight off my attacker, and it took me two seconds to realize it was Kakarot. He swept up from behind me and locked my arms behind my back, breathing erratically.

"Get… off…Kakarot…" I grit out, trying and failing to shove him away.

He ignored my protests and came closer to me than was _at all_ necessary; and I realized he wasn't even thinking. Instinct had won the battle, and he was acting on urge alone.

I was reminded of the first time he bit me; and wondered whether it would even be possible to talk him out of this. Much as my body was demanding he get closer, common sense wouldn't allow it.

"Nh… Vegeta…" he growled, inhaling my scent deeply, "Let's go somewhere… more _private._"

I felt the familiar swooping sensation in my stomach that occurred whenever Kakarot teleported, taking me with him. We reappeared in a moonlit field in the middle of nowhere; alone for miles and miles in any direction.

I made a bid for escape, trying to take to the air; but Kakarot was having none of it. He pounced on me from above – how had he even _gotten_ above me? – and pinned me on my back in the grass, holding my wrists over my head and keeping them there. I was immobile, in heat and fully capable of getting pregnant, in the middle of scenic nowhere, trapped beneath a hormone-driven male Super Saiyan that happened to be my mate. I believe this is what humans call a "pickle".

"Kakarot," I implored, remembering Bulma's warning, "I can't exactly stop you, but could you at least use protection?"

Comprehension dawned on the younger Saiyan's face for the space of a second, and he released my wrists – he was still sitting on me, so not much movement was possible on my part – and he fumbled in his pockets for a moment. _He carried them with him?_ For a moment I was surprised that he'd thought that far ahead; but then, he'd had four days to consider what would happen if he lost control; he wasn't stupid.

The moment of sanity passed too quickly, however, and Kakarot gave up his search with a growled curse.

'_Can't… need you… need to have you _**now! **_No more waiting!_'

That being said - thought, whatever, – he threw caution out the window and vaporized any clothing covering either of us in a surge of sparking ki.

Sweltering skin pressed against sweltering skin, and Kakarot stole my mouth and any arguments I might have made. The only thing was; I wasn't sure if I would have even argued to begin with. I wasn't entirely sure what _I_ wanted presently… but I knew what my body wanted, and that was what it was being given right then and there… so why was I complaining?

Not up for foreplay apparently, Kakarot didn't even stop to lubricate his entry before he slid into me. I anticipated abrasion, pain and blood… but received no such thing. It seemed I was loose and welcoming in the state of heat, taking everything Kakarot gave and giving him what he wanted in return.

I had a dim thought that he was going to kill me when he came to his senses, if only for not stopping him. _Well, I tried… I could have tried harder, but I tried._

Kakarot drew out slowly before slamming forward, passing up the sweet spot I was used to and hitting the more foreign G-spot head on. I surprised myself by whimpering in reaction; a high, needy, very _un-princely_ sound that I was _not_ used to making.

The verbalization seemed to egg Kakarot on – or rather, the animalistic part of him that was taking the wheel right now - and he literally bit _through_ my lower lip as he thrust forward again, strangling my tail with his own. I felt nothing but the scorching heat he was igniting in me, I felt like I would melt; and I supposed I wouldn't really care if I did. He was growling possessively, thrusting harder, faster, grinding against me, his fingernails digging into my wrists, which he had once again forced over my head like I prisoner.

I felt I was about to explode; all thought erased from my mind as he hammered into me, still growling low and biting and scratching like a wild thing. Every muscle locked on the precipice of ecstasy as he tensed, the growl morphing into a full-fledged, rippling roar that tore from his throat and reverberated for miles, making the very ground tremble beneath me. I added my voice to his, screaming my completion as he and I came in unison; both of us one and the same; wild, mindless beasts without an ounce of remorse of self-control in either of us.

But I guess we're _all _animals in some way or other, so it didn't really matter.

X

I crawled into bed next to Kakarot later that night. The half-Saiyans were all still here; but everyone except us two were asleep. My mate's black eyes were dark and intense, fixed on the ceiling in what could be either anger or shame.

I could barely remember anything that had happened last night; it was all a blur… and I gleaned even less from Kakarot. He didn't seem to remember _anything._ But the scratch and bite marks and my own hazy recollections didn't lie. To add to that, the scent of a fertile body in heat that had sharpened the air for five straight days had dissipated completely… which could mean one of two things; and only I knew which.

I drew up a recent memory of a rather awkward, brief procedure I'd forced myself to conduct; and of staring at a tiny screen, waiting with baited breath.

"Well?" Kakarot snapped at the ceiling, his tail flicking agitatedly.

I sighed, "I did what you said. Just now."

"And?"

The second I was silent was an instant and an eternity in one.

"It's official," I said flatly, "I'm pregnant again."

TBC


	33. Chapter 33

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 33

It had only been an hour or two, but I swear I could feel the difference in my body. Maybe it was just because I wasn't in heat anymore. Kakarot had seen to that.

I didn't blame him, really. He hadn't been in control of himself, and I could have tried a lot harder to stop him; to prevent him from doing what he did.

And while I lay down next to my mate and tried to wrap my head around the fact that I had _another_ eight months or so of morning sickness and mood swings and… other things… ahead of me; Kakarot surprised me by stroking a flat hand down my back, whispering that it would be okay. I thanked his instincts where I'd cursed them a few hours ago; just hearing him say it – whether it was true or not – calmed me exponentially.

And gods know I needed calming. It was a shocker the first time; but more the fact that it was even possible than the thing itself. Now that I knew what to expect - what to _dread – _I was even more afraid.

"It'll be alright," Kakarot soothed, holding me close to him, "I'll be there for you this time. Beginning to end."

I could feel his emotions too; all the anxiety and self-loathing and fear, bottled up and covered by concern. It was his priority to calm me down right now; his responsibility as my mate and his obligation as my lover.

I was aware that I ached everywhere. My wrists where Kakarot had grabbed them and held them down, my head where I'd hit it more than once, my throat from screaming, my lip that had been bitten clean through, even the scar on my stomach had been reopened with the strain of it all.

"Hey," my mate prompted, turning me to face him, "Are you going to be okay?"

I nodded slowly, "I just need to sleep."

His black eyes narrowed slightly; he didn't believe me, but he just lay down and started purring quietly.

He fell asleep first. I was still awake when his purring stopped; I was thinking extremely hard. Knowing and remembering what an ordeal pregnancy had been the first time; did I have the nerve to go through with it again? And how would I deal with everything when I had to take care of Tesserot too? What did I put first? At least this time I could trust Kakarot not to run away.

I just _couldn't_ catch a break to save my life, could I? First I got myself in trouble when I had sex with Kakarot the first time, and then I found out I'd gotten myself pregnant; I went through hell trying to keep Kakarot from abandoning me, and nearly got myself killed when I tried to make him jealous. And even after we were mated, the stress diminished by _no means._ We both nearly died when Kakarot's nightmare pushed him to a cosmic tantrum, and to top all that off; I went into labor months ahead of my time and ended up having to be knocked out because – Captain _Obvious_ – it's not physically possible for a man to give birth. Duh.

Usually I'd ask how it could possibly get any worse after all that; but of course it could _always_ get worse for me. I barely got a six month break – if a "break" involves the insanity of raising an infant Saiyan, that is – before my luck ran out again and I went into heat. And – thank you, Kakarot (sarcasm, sarcasm) – I ended up getting pregnant _again._

Now I know what you're thinking. And the reason why I was _not_ considering getting an abortion right now was a mind-bogglingly simple one. It would be unfair.

I know. _Everything_ in my life thus far has been unfair; but I felt like cheating an innocent life out of living was essentially the same as murder, and I'd done that enough times to know it was wrong. Besides, only _I_ could bring full blooded Saiyans into the world; maybe it was meant to be.

Of course, that didn't make it easy. Nothing in my life was ever easy.

X

I would have paid any amount in sweat or blood to _not_ have to tell Bulma and the others that I'd gotten pregnant again. But of course I had to.

Since Bulma had stayed over the night before to watch Tesserot; I managed to get them all in the same place in the morning. That didn't mean I had the courage to tell them.

Apparently I didn't need it, because I'd hardly opened my mouth when Kakarot jumped in for me.

Bulma had asked why we had been gone so long yesterday, and he answered without hesitation, nervousness, or emotion.

"We were both out training yesterday," he said, meeting the woman's eye unapologetically, "And things got a little out of control. Long story short, Vegeta's not in season anymore. My fault, entirely."

Comprehension dawned on Gohan and Bulma's faces simultaneously, but Trunks and Goten just blinked in confusion. I sighed; I hadn't expected them to understand.

"I tested last night," I explained to the two older people, "And it came back positive. For humans it would take longer to be able to tell, but even Saiyan hormones are impatient by nature."

"Besides, the fertility smell went away," Kakarot added, "So there wasn't a lot of question."

"Dad," Trunks said quietly, fidgeting slightly, "Are you trying to say you're pregnant again?"

"Yes," I said, relieved. I'd been afraid I'd have to spell it out to him.

"So…. Tess isn't going to be the youngest anymore?" Goten asked.

"If all goes accordingly," Kakarot said carefully, not ruling out the possibility of failure.

I'd completely forgotten that odds hadn't exactly been in my favor last time. I wondered what my chances were now.

I noted that Bulma and Gohan had remained silent.

"What say you?" I asked of them, nervous as hell.

"Nothing," Bulma spoke first, "I'm just… I hope you'll be able to handle it. And if you're not upset, neither am I. Frankly, I'm happy for you… but if you need me to cut you open again; give me a little notice next time, okay?"

Gohan was quiet for a long moment.

"Last time this happened you bit me," he reminded me, his loose shirt collar displaying the still-not-healed half-mark on his shoulder, "As long as you don't do something like that again; I'll just stay out of your way."

The briskness of his voice startled me. I'd always considered the demi an unquestionable ally; but apparently some things were too traumatic to forget in the name of friendship. I supposed I could relate.

Right on cue, the sound of Tesserot crying could be heard coming from the nursery.

"It's time for his breakfast," Kakarot said quickly, "Come on, Vegeta; let's go."

I heard a deeper meaning in the thoughts he sent me.

'_Let them think it over; you can't ask them to understand immediately.'_

I nodded and followed my mate to the kitchen.

X

After his stomach was filled, Tesserot fell asleep in the nest he'd made in his crib, sucking his thumb with his tail curled up by his nose like a kitten.

I leaned against Kakarot as we stood not far away, tails twined loosely as we watched him sleep.

"It wouldn't be _that_ bad," I whispered, "To have another."

He gently kissed my forehead, "You're right. I just don't want you to suffer again."

"Well, this time we'll be ready for it," I consoled, lacing my fingers with his.

"I hope so," he sighed, "I don't want to lose you."

I stood on my toes to kiss him briefly on the cheek, "You won't."

I didn't know what I could offer to back that up; and I hoped that fate would at least be somewhat in my favor this time around. I doubted Kakarot would retain his sanity if I died, and I had no wish to put him through something like that.

After all, I'd seen what he could do when he got upset. And the universe might not survive a distraught Super Saiyan with nothing left to lose.

TBC


	34. Chapter 34

((_Time for a bunch of fillers. ...As for the Saiya-go words, they are purely of my imagination and have nothing to do with Toriyama's original design - though i did look up Croatian root words for inspiration and messed with the accents and stuff a lot.))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 34

Tesserot grew bigger by the day. He was more confident in his voice and his footing; and by the time he was seven months old – a month after I'd gotten pregnant again – he was toddling around all over the place, exercising his new vocabulary enthusiastically and getting his little black tail tangled on things. Goten taught him most of the words he knew, like "daddy", "mommy" and such; but he seemed to prefer the ones he picked up from Kakarot and me for some reason.

"What did he say?" Kakarot asked me on one of the days we were home alone with the toddler.

"What?" I queried, sitting Tess on the couch with a bowl of cereal which he was eating in handfuls.

"What did he call you just now?"

"Oh," I smiled, pleased that he'd noticed, "He called me _'t__ӫ__tka,'" _I explained; the word was pronounced like 'tayt-kuh', "It's the Saiyan word for 'mother.'"

"_Tӫtka_?" he echoed, only a pure Saiyan could make the word roll off the tongue as effortlessly as he did, "When did you teach him to say that?"

"A few days ago," I said carelessly, "I got tired of having to respond to the human word; I'm not a woman."

He laughed shortly and sat down next to me, "Huh, t_ӫtka; _I like it."

He was quiet for a moment, watching his son put fistfuls of dry Cheerios in his mouth.

"What would _I_ call you?" he asked, "In Saiyan?"

"Hmm," I thought about it, tail flicking, "Probably something like _'shi__-k__ḁ__dria'… _I'm not sure; there weren't a lot of words for love."

"Probably a hundred words for battle though," Kakarot sighed.

I thought it best not to mention that he was actually right.

X

It was interesting to have the entire Saiyan race at the table for breakfast in the morning. All three demis, the pureblooded baby, and the two adults; all in one place.

Goten asked me something then, "There're three princes now, aren't there?"

"What?" I blinked. Three?

"Well, you're a prince, and Trunks is your son, so he's a prince too; and Tess is your son so he is too. And… wait," the demi child counted on his fingers, "Yeah. That makes three."

"No." I said shortly, gathering the shreds of my tattered pride, "There has only ever been and will only ever be _one_ Saiyan prince. If I die someday, then the universe will be without one."

"Why?" Goten asked.

I shrugged, "There's not a lot left to rule, if you haven't noticed."

Kakarot, who had been watching the back and forth between the demi and me silently, broke in after a moment.

"Oh, come on Vegeta, I don't see any reason why they can't be princes If they want to be. They've both got royal blood."

"You can't be a ruler of a dead race." I muttered.

My mate looked at me steadily, "Do I look dead to you? Do they look dead, Vegeta? You've still got a race; even if it's not as big."

It was hard to argue with faith like that.

X

I woke up dizzy with a killer headache the next day and damn near punched Kakarot in the face when he asked what was wrong; mating bond or no.

I staggered to the bathroom and vomited, cursing in my mind- as my mouth was a bit preoccupied. I'd almost forgotten about this part. The cold tiles of the floor digging into my knees were like a rude awakening; reminding me that I had a long way yet to go.

I heard footsteps crossing the floor behind me and looked up to see my mate presenting me with a towel, a look on his face that said simply, _can't stop it, can't fix it; what are ya gonna do?_

I stood up once my vision stopped churning and dried my mouth with the towel gratefully. Last time I'd had to deal with it alone; at least _someone_ had my back now.

"Not the best way to wake up, huh?" Kakarot said gently, tossing the used towel in the laundry basket and guiding me back to bed.

I barely had time to sit down before Tesserot started crying in the other room.

I started to get up again, but Kakarot held up a hand, "Stay put, I've got it this time."

I thanked him with my eyes and lay down exhaustedly. I'd hardly woken up and I already felt like I'd been hit by a train.

I allowed myself a ten minute rest before forcing myself to get up again. Life didn't slow down just because you woke up feeling like shit.

It took me a moment to realize the house was fuller than it should have been. Aside from the Saiyans that resided here – _belonged_ here – the woman had returned, along with the idiot Yamcha and the bald midget that wasn't so bald anymore.

I wanted to demand an explanation for why they were here and order them to leave – which was about normal for me – but at the same time I didn't want to raise my voice or my headache would return. I settled for ignoring them as I passed by; finding Kakarot at the table, giving Tesserot his breakfast.

"What are _they_ doing here?" I hissed under my breath.

He blinked, "Bulma brought them to visit and see the new baby, why?"

"They've visited, they've seen him. Now they can leave."

"Don't be mean, Vegeta. They can stay a little while."

I growled and crossed my arms frustratedly. I wasn't a fan of company – namely Kakarot's idiot friends – on a good day; but I'd been in a bad mood since I woke up.

"Fine." I gritted out, "But if they get on my nerves, I'm going to blast them to ash."

Kakarot hid a smile, "Well I'm glad you're being so merciful today."

I half-smirked, half-snarled, "Watch it, smartass, or I'll blast you too."

My mate's tail flicked me in the face as he turned to wipe applesauce from Tesserot's cheeks, "Now t_hat_ I'd like to see," he muttered.

It was a very light, unserious challenge, but a challenge nonetheless. I decided not to rise to the bait this time, even if he was just teasing.

Quite suddenly, my legs felt like they wouldn't support me and I sat down shakily at the table. I reminded myself that it was just my body adjusting to the changes soon to take place in it; but the knowledge didn't make it any less unnerving.

Kakarot dipped his head to make eye contact with me, "You okay?"

I nodded shortly, bracing my throbbing forehead against my hand.

"It'll get better, remember?" he said evenly.

"And then it'll get worse again," I sighed.

Kakarot waved a hand dismissively, "That's the future. This is now."

Simple words. But he was right.

X

The next afternoon, while the demis were away for the weekend – Gohan at his girlfriend Videl's house, Goten at ChiChi's and Trunks at Capsule Corp – Kakarot got out a floor puzzle and "helped" Tesserot put it together – otherwise known as "doing it for him". The toddler would get extremely excited and pleased with himself when he put a piece in the right place; even if his father's hand was guiding him there. Eventually, the activity tired him out and he crawled onto the couch beside me and fell asleep in my lap. Kakarot put the half-assembled puzzle back in its box and sat down as well, flipping his hair out of his face and looking at me.

He said nothing. Nothing needed to be said; it was a moment of quiet that we both righteously deserved.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I woke up to the sound of the door creaking open. Tesserot awoke as well and rubbed his eyes sleepily, sitting up on my thighs. I glanced at Kakarot and saw he was already alert, as if guarding against a threat.

It was the woman ChiChi with Goten; bringing the demi back home. Goten spent a moment waving goodbye to his mother before heading upstairs to do whatever he did in his room during the day.

"_Tӫtka_," Tesserot addressed me with a tilt of his head, he pointed at ChiChi, "Whosthat?" And yes, he said it like one word.

"Shh," I consoled, running a hand through his hair, "It's just a visitor."

"So it _is_ true," ChiChi said in apparent disbelief.

"What's true?" Kakarot asked warily.

I noted that the woman's jet eyes were riveted on the toddler in my lap. I felt a surge of protectiveness, though it would be damn impossible for her to hurt him in any way.

ChiChi didn't answer Kakarot, and she didn't need to. It was kind of obvious what she was saying.

"Yeah," I challenged her, "Kakarot and I had a baby; you have a problem with that?"

She already knew I'd gotten pregnant; that was essentially why she'd divorced Kakarot, but apparently she hadn't connected that with an actual living child. Either that or she hadn't believed him when he told her.

She took a few steps inside and let the door close behind her. I noted that she hadn't been invited in.

"What do you want, ChiChi?" Kakarot snapped; his tail curled around his waist defensively. I'd never seen him with his tail like that; it didn't suit him.

"Nothing," ChiChi said slowly, "It's cold outside."

Tesserot had apparently grown bored with the visitor and had turned his attention to playing with the end of my tail, batting it back and forth and pouncing on it when it flicked out of reach.

"Which is exactly why you should just _leave_," Kakarot retorted, crossing his arms over his chest.

ChiChi's gaze returned to the child playing with my tail, and she reached out a hand as if to verify his not being an illusion. She barely got within four feet when Kakarot bared his teeth with a feral hiss.

The woman withdrew as if electrocuted.

"Goku, why -?" she began.

He got to his feet and stared her down, "You. Will. _Not_. Touch. My. Son." He snarled.

ChiChi paled.

"Nor will you touch or even get _near_ any others we may have," his gaze flitted to me and back, "You're not welcome here; now get out."

"What about Goten -?"

"No." Kakarot said solidly, "I'll fill out whatever custody sheets you want, but he's not your concern anymore."

"Kakarot –" I began, thinking he was being unreasonable.

"Stay out of it," he snapped. I flinched as his thoughts perforated my mind.

'_I'll explain once the bitch is gone.'_

"F-fine," ChiChi stammered, "I didn't want to be involved with you Saiyans anyway!"

And with that she left before Kakarot's power could raise any higher, the door slamming behind her.

Tesserot blinked at both of us perplexedly in the silence that followed.

"What was _that_ about?" I demanded.

"She's bad news, Vegeta," Kakarot said tensely, "I looked at her memories; she slapped Goten."

"What?" I was startled; sure the woman was infuriating and screechy, but I'd never thought her to be _abusive_.

"Of course she couldn't actually hurt him, but it's the action that counts," my mate went on, some of the anger calming.

"Why did she do that?"

"Well she can't control him; he's infinitely stronger than she is, so she must have tried to scare him into obeying her."

"But I thought she was…. I don't know… a good parent?"

"Apparently not anymore. I'm not letting her anywhere near Goten again,"

His showing his teeth at the woman made a lot more sense now. When a hand could be used as a weapon; it wasn't welcome near an innocent toddler in any situation.

"What changed? When did she become violent?" I asked.

Kakarot shook his head, "I don't know. But I thought she was better than that."

I looked at the child in my lap and felt the almost imperceptible spark of ki of the one to come; I couldn't imagine raising a hand against either of them.

TBC


	35. Chapter 35

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 35

"You're not going to flip out and go into a possessive rage like last time are you?" I asked when the drama of ChiChi leaving faded.

Kakarot blinked, "No, why?"

I remembered a certain incident of him pinning me against a wall in an attempt to re-stake his claim, "No reason."

"Unless she was trying to steal you by hitting Goten, I've got no reason to."

Was that… _disappointment_ I felt?

"_Tӫtka_," Tesserot spoke up, "…Sleepy,"

I smiled; glad the child's vocabulary was improving, and picked him up gently, getting to my feet.

"Okay, bedtime."

I carried him to his room and lay him carefully in his crib, putting his blanket over him and fluffing a few pillows by his head.

"Get some sleep, Tesserot." I soothed, brushing his dark, errant bangs out of his face with my tail.

His eyes fluttered closed and he put his thumb in his mouth, sucking on it drowsily.

I glanced around the room once; adopting the eye of a critic. What did it take for someone to become violent like ChiChi had? Was it how they raised the child? Or something deeper?

I'd been violent, even _murderous,_ when I was younger. I wondered if my bloody past reflected in how I cared for my sons. I wouldn't be able to tell if it did, but would someone else?

I shut the door to the nursery and leaned my back against it, looking at the ceiling. All I wanted was to be a good father; or mother, or whatever I was asked to be. Could a murderer shake off the past even if they wanted to?

I felt the diminutive ki within me shift slightly, and felt a newfound sense of protectiveness for this child as well. Whether I asked for it or not – whether it would cause me difficulty or not – it was my responsibility to take care of it.

I walked back into the living room, biting my lip thoughtfully.

Kakarot was still there, his eyes following me.

'_You're thinking hard about something,'_ his thoughts reached me tentatively, '_Do you want to talk about it?'_

I shook my head, "It's no big deal."

He placed a hand on my shoulder as I started to walk past him; turning me to face him swiftly.

"You are not a _bad_ parent, Vegeta," he said steadily; able to read my emotions, of course, "Don't even think about that. You care what happens to Tess and Trunks, right?"

"More than anything," I said with conviction.

"Exactly."

"But I've taken so many lives," I argued.

He shrugged, "So have I. That's part of being Saiyan. If Tesserot doesn't shed a little blood in his prime, honestly I'll be disappointed."

Gods, he always knew _just_ what to say.

"Let me ask you something," he said simply, "What are your feelings for me?"

Easy to think, hard to say out loud, that's what.

'_I love you more than life itself and would kill anyone who thought twice about hurting you.'_

Since I couldn't make myself say it out loud, I said it in my mind; knowing he'd hear.

'_Right. And how many murderers do you know who can love?'_

I smirked, '_I know you.'_

'_And that, shi-kḁdria, is precisely my point.'_

I couldn't believe he'd remembered the Saiya-go word for love when I'd only said it once.

Barely conscious of what I was doing, I leaned up and instigated a kiss. Kakarot didn't seem surprised, and he followed my lead; going no further than I went, but not falling behind either.

My tail snaked around his and the fur rubbed together deliciously.

Kakarot chuckled into my mouth, "Don't tease me unless you want to go all the way."

"And what if I do?" I purred, spidering a hand down his strong arm; feeling chills skitter along the skin where it came in contact with mine.

I could smell his musk awakening, but he made no move, "So soon after you got pregnant?"

"It's been a month," I muttered, "So it should be safe."

"_Should_ be, or _will_ be?"

"Oh relax," I commanded, fisting a hand in his thick black hair, "You worry _way_ too much."

"This coming from the one who frets about whether they're a bad parent when they'd happily cut off a limb for their sons."

"Shut up and kiss me," I breathed, stealing his mouth again recklessly.

'_Sometimes I think you're a bad influence on me,_' Kakarot said in his mind, since he was robbed of verbal response.

'_What gave me away?_' I teased, brushing my tail deliberately over his crotch.

'_Vegeta. You're making out with me in the middle of the living room. What if you corrupt Goten?'_

"Serves him right," I said quickly, "Now stop talking… thinking… whatever. You're breaking my concentration."

Kakarot took advantage of my releasing his mouth to reply with his voice, "You want me to stop thinking?"

No hesitation here, "Yes."

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then teleported to our bedroom and pinned me to the bed with a growl, flaring to Super Saiyan; "You asked for it."

_I love it when he gets like this._

X

I lay next to my mate, enjoying the sinful scent of sweat and musk and sex. Kakarot was watching me with eyes that had faded to black long ago. He'd started out rough and possessive, yes, but over time his touches softened and he became gentle, letting go of Super Saiyan and just worshipping me slowly.

"We're going to have to balance this more," he said after a long silence, "We can't just give Tess all our attention for weeks and then work it all off in one night."

"Well for your sake, Kakarot, and the sake of your libido; I hope there's enough of me to go around."

"I could always rip you in half and keep part of you for myself all the time," he said darkly. I knew he was teasing; whether it _was_ possible for him to do just that or not.

"But how would you ever survive with just half of me?" I smirked.

He thought about it, "I'd take the bottom half."

I whacked him with a pillow, "Bastard."

He laughed with me for a moment; then grew serious.

"No," he murmured, "I'd rather have your face, I'd rather have your expressions, and your mind and your voice," his fingers brushed my collarbone lightly, "And your heart."

I shivered, "You've already got my heart, Kakarot. It's always belonged to you."

He smiled, "Regardless, I'd miss being able to do _this_," his lips latched onto mine and his tongue invaded my mouth like it had a mind of its own.

I broke away first, meeting his honest, black eyes with my own.

"I love you, Kakarot."

He sighed peacefully, "Love you too."

X

"Vegeta," Kakarot was shaking my shoulder to wake me, "Vegeta, wake up."

I opened my eyes blearily and looked over my shoulder at him, "What?" I glanced at the clock; it was just past five a.m., "It's early, Kakarot. It's still dark out."

"I know," this time I registered that his voice had a worried tone, and I could sense his anxiety.

"What's wrong? Is it something about Tesserot?"

"No, no, he's fine," Kakarot said quickly, sitting up slightly, "I just… got a strange feeling."

"Strange enough to wake me up?"

He nodded, "Can't you feel it too?"

I closed my eyes and took a moment to take in my surroundings. Not what was physically around me, but the energy and aura of the area. I could sense Kakarot's bright, shining ki right next to me, I could sense Gohan and Goten sleeping across the hall, and I could sense Tesserot's tiny but steady ki from downstairs. Everything seemed normal.

I started to sit up and froze suddenly. The sheets around my legs felt sticky, and the skin of my thighs protested as it abraded together.

"S-something's wrong," I stammered, already panicking.

Kakarot nodded and switched the light on, his eyes riveted on me.

I lifted the blanket covering me and let out a sound that could have been either a moan or a sob. The white sheets were completely soaked through with blood. I distantly remembered a nightmare I'd had almost a year ago about….

"No," I hid my face in my hands with the breathed word, bringing my knees up to my chest in a primal reaction to the age-old feeling that the world was against me.

I noted – despite my shock and mounting sorrow – that Kakarot remained dead-silent.

I looked at him through my fingers and saw him staring at me with an unreadable expression; his mouth just barely open as if he'd been about to speak. He looked like he'd been slapped.

I began my ki search again; this time not outside, but inside. As I feared, the almost indiscernible ki signal of the tiny life that should have been inside me was gone.

I felt Kakarot debating whether to attempt to comfort me or teleport far away and blow something up.

"I…" his voice cracked when he tried to speak, "I'm sorry…"

I could feel him shaking from where I was; and it took me a moment to realize it was actually me shivering.

"Was it…?" my mate asked after a moment, his mind was recoiling from mine, as if he was scared of me, "Was it because of… what we did earlier?"

I shook my head numbly, "You had nothing to d- to do with it," I was surprised by the… the lack of emotion I felt. Like I was an empty shell.

"This sh-shouldn't have happened," he muttered dejectedly.

I averted my gaze miserably. Whether it should have happened or not; regardless, it _did._

TBC


	36. Chapter 36

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 36

I couldn't take my eyes off the startlingly bright red stains surrounding me. Blood. Death. Failure. I couldn't even make myself blink.

My mind kept trying to shy away from what I was seeing; what I was comprehending slowly, what was driving a rusty nail into my heart with every passing second. I had lost the baby. It was all for nothing. Maybe it had _all_ been for nothing. After all, what was the point if innocent lives could be taken so ruthlessly?

"I should never have fallen in love with you," I exhaled defeatedly, meeting Kakarot's wide, black eyes regretfully.

He swallowed and shook his head disbelievingly, "N-no, don't say that."

I could see the heartbreak in his eyes and it made me wince. But it was true. Aside from Tesserot's creation, being together had only resulted in pain and misfortune for both of us.

"D– Vegeta, please don't give up on us!" Kakarot pleaded, "Please don't leave me alone; I _need_ you!"

I sighed, "I can't leave. I can't and I won't. But… what if all of this was just a mistake?"

One big, twisted, stupid mistake. A pretty fitting description of my life.

Kakarot shook his head again, "It wasn't. I know it wasn't. How can you even _think_ that?"

"No point," I muttered, "No fucking point."

Kakarot's eyebrows narrowed drastically; faster than the eye could see, he grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me roughly.

"Listen to yourself! We had something! We still do; look at me!" his voice became desperate when I shook my head, "We have each other; we have a family! Look at what we've done; we've defied all the odds, thwarted nature and chance, not only buried the hatchet but found love; we even made a baby together when it shouldn't have even been possible! And you are _not_ going to give that up just because it didn't work out perfectly twice!"

At last my anguish caught up with me and I felt tears well up in my eyes before falling uncontrollably.

Kakarot stopped; all the anger and desperation draining from his face with the color.

His hands moved from my shoulders to hug me to his chest. I felt his whole body shudder as he broke into tears as well.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against my shoulder, "I know you just wanted it to work out…. Is that so much to ask?"

The last part wasn't directed at me; but perhaps at the gods that had cheated me, or at the very universe itself.

"I…" I swallowed and pressed on, "I guess I just realized… if this h-happened the first time… I wouldn't… Tesserot would have never.…"

My mate's breath caught and he held me tighter.

We stayed that way, crying on each other's shoulder, for much of the remaining night.

After a long while Kakarot released me and dried his eyes slightly, "V-Vegeta," I looked up at him, "No matter what happens, p-promise you won't ever leave me."

I'd only ever seen such tumult in his eyes once, and last time it had been anger; now it was just a tangle of grief.

I nodded shakily, hoping I could carry out such a promise.

"What am I going to tell the others?" my voice was dry, and it sounded like defeat personified.

"We have to tell them." Kakarot murmured, "They've all got a right to know."

X

I'll spare you the wrenching confessions and shocked reactions because they are difficult to recreate. Suffice to say I told them. Suffice to say they took it hard, though no tears were shed. End of story.

I shouldn't have been surprised that not even Goten wept over the loss of a potential sibling. It wasn't as if any of them had had time to connect with the tiny life before it was ripped away. In fact the only ones who seemed truly devastated were Kakarot and me. Therefore, we hid it from them; the true extent of our combined mourning. None of them saw the ritual tears at night; none of them heard the whispered mantras of attempted comfort. Because why burden those who couldn't relate with something only we – bound at the mind and heart – could understand?

And it was then that I separated people into two groups: us and them. There were things I could share with both, but there was a distinct place where I drew a line and could only confide in the one person who wouldn't judge, wouldn't question, and wouldn't turn away.

X

Of course, Tesserot still grew and developed each day; and he seemed to sense something was off-kilter because he acted slightly different, especially around me. He was quieter when he spoke and more polite, seeming to ask with his eyes what was wrong.

And eventually the shock and pain dulled as time passed, but there was still the occasional night where either Kakarot or I would simply break down and cry, and it was the counterpart's unquestioning duty to sooth until both could rest for the night. Deep wounds couldn't be healed so easily, and wounds to the heart were the hardest to forget.

I think Bulma and the demis noticed that Kakarot and I had essentially isolated ourselves from the rest of them; but I didn't really care what they thought anymore. Much of my – our – time was taken up with Tesserot's care; and it was a handful and a half just to keep him happy and healthy without worrying what people thought all the time.

I realized two things as time went on. One, I was accepting more and more that I'd become a totally different person than before. I wasn't the same arrogant prince I'd been a year and a half ago, maybe I never would be again. And I was okay with that.

Two, since the miscarriage I was never truly happy. I smiled, I laughed, I acted quote-unquote "normal" for me; but I felt like I'd lost something fundamental. No matter what I tried, I just couldn't get happy. Kakarot seemed depressed as well, but I think it was more because I wasn't at my best than anything else. He was upset because I was.

X

I noticed that I couldn't recall a lot of conversation or individual day to day events very well. Either it was my memory or something else, but I had a hard time focusing on the things that usually made up my every day; and two months went by in a blur without my noticing.

Kakarot hadn't touched me with any intent other than to assist or comfort since I woke up to red sheets; and that fact didn't hit me until he tried to kiss me innocently one day and I refused. He seemed taken aback; usually he could just surprise me with acts of compassion and I didn't mind, and I'd never said no in the past. I apologized quickly for disappointing him, upon realizing that I had, but didn't make any effort to resume the interrupted action.

'_Is this how it's going to be now?'_ was the only semblance of a response I got from him before he walked away.

I almost slapped myself. What, he was my confidant and my crying shoulder, but he wasn't allowed to touch me anymore? He was my mate, for the gods' sakes!

That was not the first or the last time that I wished I could do something over; and the list would just grow longer over time.

TBC


	37. Chapter 37

_((Usually I'd try to update at least every other day, but freshman year is kicking my ass and my best friend is really sick and she'd going to have surgery, so I've been worried about her night and day. I've been totally exhausted and my new chapters have been… well, wimpy. So ill work a little harder, which may mean I update more slowly, but it'll also mean my chapters will be longer, and hopefully better. I'm reading more fanfics in addition for inspiration and just to get my head back in the game._

_Thanks for your unwavering faith, patience, and great reviews, I love you all._

_-Shinsun))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 37

Time heals. Two words to sum up my existence. Time healed the anger of working for the monster Frieza for half my life, it healed the loathing of the third-class Saiyan I'd sworn to defeat, it healed said third-class's back-turning resentment at me…. and in its own slow course, it healed the sorrow of losing.

Six months passed since the miscarriage - since my delicately reconstructed world had been tilted drastically on its fragile axis - and two events took place on the same day. Tesserot had his first birthday; and I went into estrus again.

It was a small reminder, but one nonetheless, that it wasn't all over. The mark of a growing child aging a year, and the promise that another was possible to enter this world. I found myself stealing glances at my mate; expecting to see the dilated pupils and lashing tail that showed he was affected by the scent I surely was giving off. I was a bit taken aback to see no such thing. In fact, he refrained from even looking at me; amidst the celebration of little Tess's special day. Even the entirety of the Z fighters or whatever they were called had gathered to wish the toddler well and share in the festivity.

Of course the daylong activity and loud, merry voices eventually gave me a headache; but for once I ignored it in favor of remaining in good spirits, and my effort seemed to do both Tesserot and myself a world of good. I'd almost forgotten how it felt to genuinely smile; not the fake expression I'd forced myself to don for others' sake, but just because it felt good.

Everyone else seemed to be cheery too; and once the now one-year-old child and the two demi-Saiyan children were asleep from the overexcitement of the goings-on, the adults were allowed to settle and gather to talk of simpler times; some drinking heartily, some laughing at Yamcha's perverse sense of humor. I distanced myself; not for antisocial reasons, nor because I didn't fancy a hangover tomorrow morning; but to take in the whole scene from afar and reflect on how things had changed. How _I'd_ changed.

And then I spotted Kakarot at the edge of the loose circle of friends and former warriors. He was sitting alone, his gaze downcast, a bottle of brandy untouched on the arm of his chair. He glanced up every now and again, the interest and happiness gone from his eyes. I wondered what had gotten into him; usually he'd be delighted to see his old friends, and would at least have lingered passively without all the resentment and white-knuckled irritation he was now showing. Even when one of the fighters would straight-up congratulate him on his son aging a year, there was no pride or gratitude in his face. And if it _was_ there, it was completely fabricated.

I edged unhurriedly towards him, trying not to be too obvious; conversing as I passed people and accepting handshakes and smiles. He looked at me for a long moment when I got within speaking range, his gaze absolutely unreadable; even for me. The noise seemed to die down as even the guests caught wind of the potential tension.

"What's your deal?" I said out of the side of my mouth.

"Nothing." He said shortly, '_I wish everyone would just leave.'_

"That's a relief," I answered with my voice, and I answered his contradictory thought in kind, '_Why? Usually you're glad to see them.'_

"I guess it's just been a long day," his gaze met mine for a second; '_They keep _**looking**___at you.'_

I blinked, forgoing the fake verbal reply this time, '_What do you mean?'_

He set his teeth slightly, '_Exactly what I said.'_

'_And that's a problem because….?'_

I moved to sit on the edge of his chair, ignoring the humans and focusing on the mental conversation.

'_Because you belong to _**me**_. And they're only so interested in you because you've been giving off a heavy aphrodisiac practically all day.'_

So he _had_ noticed that.

'_Kakarot, I don't think a bunch of witless humans who are all straighter than an iron pole are going to be particularly attracted to me.'_ Frankly, I hadn't even thought their dull human senses could pick up the scent. But then again….

Kakarot's temper had been much reduced in these past few months. I'd noticed, so had Bulma and Gohan; but the other Z fighters and such just assumed he was back to his usual clueless self.

Not likely.

I still wasn't exactly sure what had caused Kakarot to become so withdrawn and borderline bi-polar, and I wondered if it had anything to do with me at all. Maybe it was his wife divorcing him; maybe it was something else entirely. But only when I could compare him around his friends now with how he'd been before did I grasp how truly _different_ he was. It was almost like our roles had been reversed; he was the angry, temperamental, introvert; and I was the consoling, smiling friend. Strange didn't begin to clarify that.

'_Roshi kept looking at your butt,'_ Kakarot went on, the shadow of a scowl cornering his mouth.

I almost laughed at how offended he looked.

'_That pervert does that to everyone. Of all people, you should know that by now.'_

The tall Saiyan stood up without warning, an almost drunken haze clouding his eyes.

'_That particular area….and _**everything**_ else about you… belongs to _me.'

I lifted my chin unapologetically, '_I know.'_

His tail scourged the air once, '_Don't forget it.'_ And with that he left, shooting a glance at the gathered people over his shoulder as if he'd like to make the lot of them vanish with a snap of his fingers.

I answered the inevitable questions as best I could; and waited until the last guest had left to go after my mate.

X

He was outside, sitting in the crook of a tree limb; his eyes fixated on the waxing moon.

I leapt in a cat-like fashion onto the branch beside him, hooking my tail around the limb for balance.

"You've calmed down," I observed, sitting with one knee bent, trying to mirror his pose.

He nodded rigidly, his eyes anywhere but on me; he thoughts anywhere but not.

"Did you… drink at all during the-?" I began.

He shook his head with a short sigh, "What do I need alcohol for when it's all I can do not to be intoxicated by _you?"_

I tilted my head, "It's okay, you know. You don't have to fight it."

Another head shake, "No. Not again. Never again."

"But that would be torture to you," …_and to me,_ I added in the sanctity of my own mind.

He grit his teeth together, "Bulma said when someone becomes a father their libido calms down and their testosterone level drops significantly…. well I'm seriously doubting that; if anything it might have gotten _worse_."

I was about to point out that technically he'd already been a father to two before Tesserot had even been conceived; but I supposed half-human offspring were different anyway, so…

"It's different for Saiyans." I explained, "The more of a pack you have to guard, the more you want to prove your worth of guarding it. Rather than calming after creating an heir, male Saiyan hormones actually go into overdrive."

He leaned his head back against the tree trunk, "When does it _stop?_"

I shrugged, "Father never mentioned that."

There was a long moment of utter silence. The wind was still and neither of us made a sound. I allowed my thoughts to wander, drifting from what had gone on today to when the last time I trained was, and from there to settle stanchly on the man in front of me. Whether musing about his changes in attitude or fantasizing about his sexual appeal – yes, yes, chuckle awkwardly; at least I can _admit_ it – they remained unwaveringly on him.

Eventually his black gaze landed on me, and he spoke; hardly moving his mouth.

"Why are you the way you are?" he looked captivated, as if he were looking at a rare gemstone beneath a plexiglass window; or an illustrious banquet just out of reach.

I shivered under the intensity of his eyes. Or maybe it was the cold, it was hard to tell.

"Who can say?" I muttered, "The gods make us what we are; it's not a choice, Kakarot."

"Bulma had an interesting word for it," he said quietly, "_hermaphrodite."_

I looked quizzically at him, "Is that a human word for freak of nature?"

A shallow, brief head shake, "She said it meant someone who was both male and female. Someone who had the characteristics of both," I noticed that he was closer to me than before; I could feel his body heat, yet I hadn't even seen him move.

His scent was like an elixir laced with heroin. That's really all I can say.

"That's a pr-pretty legitimate description," I said dazedly as he loomed over me; a moment before his mouth grabbed mine. He hadn't made a move in almost six months, and his very presence swirling around me felt like coming home. What was it about him that I found so damn addictive every single time? Maybe _everything?_

The humid orifice plundering my lips parted slightly and Kakarot's fiery tongue invaded my mouth, reconnoitering the very depths as he crushed me against him. I felt a rush of air whip past my face and opened my eyes in alarm, disconnecting the kiss as we fell head over foot out of the tree. We could very well have flown out of gravity's greedy reach, but he let us fall, dropping far too fast and landing far too lightly for such a height. Once standing on the ground, he took the opportunity to snatch my mouth again, but I broke away when I saw an opening to do so.

"Wh…what if..?" I began breathlessly, "You said…"

His hand caressed the side of my face, turning my eyes to meet his. I was surprised to see them clear and honest.

"I thought it over," he murmured, "And I'm not afraid to try again; if you're willing."

I inhaled shakily, as if it were the last breath I'd ever take. Kakarot's voice was just… I'd never appreciated it before… usually a light tenor sound, now it was a low, rich baritone; mature and still unbelievably alluring. That and his mind-blowingly incredible scent made my very skin crawl with desire.

But rationally…. _logically_, was I willing to go through it all again? Pregnancy was traumatic enough the first time; and the second time was just unfair and more than a little heartbreaking. Still…. it had taught me things I never would have learned on my own, and it gave me a mate in turn that I'd learned to love above all else. As long as he was there with me… it was worth it all.

I met his gaze steadily, "More than, Kakarot."

A smile brightened my mate's face. He drew me close to him and I expected him to assault my lips again, but he just sat at the roots of the tree with me beside him, his tail stroking mine gently.

"We'll take it slow," he promised, and he initiated an enthrallingly sweet kiss. In contrast to the way he'd been last time I was in season, he was considerate; unhurried and placid, as if he could do this all night.

I remembered an incident before under similar circumstances, involving a group of rowdy teens and an insult.

'_Don't worry,'_ Kakarot's thoughts soothed, '_Mt. Paozu is secluded, and every inch of this land belongs to me. …To us.'_

I felt more than heard his rumbling purr as he thought this, his pride in his tenure and in me evident in his confident movements and scent.

Slowly, he lay me down so that I was reasonably comfortable in the grass; unlike before when he'd slammed me to the ground and pinned me there.

"Why are your thoughts so clear right now?" I asked, purely out of interest, "Why aren't you going insane with urges like last time?"

He laughed darkly, "Believe me, I am."

"Then…?"

He leaned athwart my legs and arrested my lips again gently.

"I'd cheat nature for you, Vegeta." he murmured against my mouth.

"But how-?" I began. He growled warningly.

"Enough." One word that explained a thousand concepts.

I nodded and let him do what he would; brushing my tail under his chin in apology for interrupting.

He captured the furry appendage in one hand, removing his lips from mine and – to my slight surprise – inserting the tip of the fuzzy length in his own mouth.

Oh my gods. I wish I could just describe it. How many words does an Earth dictionary have? And how many would fail to give justice to the action itself, let alone the _sensation?_ The torrid, damp kiln that was Kakarot's mouth cloaking each hypersensitive hair in heat, sending a river of energy and passion up my spine to the very base of my skull was enough to render me incoherent, so I shouted my approval even as he experimented with his teeth, lips and tongue; seeing what sounds he could draw from me.

While he sucked on the end of my tail, his hand crept up to slip under my spandex shirt – which I now had the freedom to wear again – and spidered over the mark on my left shoulder; I could see the fascination and raw emotion etched on his face, he was enjoying this as much as I was. So as I choked for breath and fought to keep it all in; to memorize each touch and somehow feel it _all_ at once, of course he had to flare to Super Saiyan and make everything that much more extreme.

I couldn't help myself; my entire body shuddered and I came with a scream that didn't even seem to be mine, cresting the parabola of orgasm as I convulsed once and let my head hit the ground as it fell back. My next breath didn't reach me until Kakarot released my tail and my mark; and if my eyes were open I would have seen the look of unadulterated love he bestowed on me. But they weren't and I didn't.

"I th…" I began, my voice sounded raw, "I thought… you were… going to t-take it slow…."

"I was and am," Kakarot said simply, "We've barely even started."

"Gods…" I panted.

"Taking it slow and taking it easy are two _very_ different things, Vegeta," my mate continued, he almost sounded smug. It didn't suit him, but I wasn't complaining. In fact the words themselves sounded like their own method of foreplay, and I felt my blood run hot despite my recent release.

He waited a moment for me to catch my breath; or some of it anyway.

"Ready for round two?" he asked, I opened my eyes to see a look of anticipation on his face.

"N-no," I muttered.

He smirked, "Too bad."

I barely had time to brace myself before he attacked my mouth, hardly allowing me breath when I attempted to inhale. I felt lightheaded, but I didn't really care. Despite the intensity, he kept his promise and paced himself dutifully. No matter how many gulping breaths I stole, there didn't seem to be enough _air_; and I contemplated allowing myself to suffocate under his furnace of a body, which was so contradictory to his icy scent.

Kakarot sensed my struggle for oxygen apparently, '_Need to breathe? What'll you give me in return?'_

It wasn't like him to bargain, much less show selfishness; but I could feel his intentions, and they were all fair. This was just part of the game.

I ignored his offer for as long as I could, telling myself I could survive on the short, hot breaths I took through my nose; but I was still worn out from before, and the air seemed to grow thinner the more I breathed it.

'_Kakarot,_' I prompted reproachfully.

He didn't relent, and just repeated his bargain from before, the suction of his lips on mine almost bruising.

'_K-Kakarot…!'_ my mental voice took on an urgent tone as the remaining air was drained from my lungs.

He mumbled an innocently questioning sound into my mouth; bristling the fur of his tail infuriatingly along mine, causing me to choke beneath him. My lungs screamed and I struggled objectively, responding to the instinctive demand for air. Now.

'_Kakarot, PLEASE!'_ my thoughts shouted.

Something shifted in my mate's thoughts and he let me go abruptly, breathing hard. I inhaled desperately, coughing on the same breath as it left me. I felt like someone had held me underwater for an hour.

"S-sorry Vegeta, I d-don't know what came over me," Kakarot said shakily, "Did I hurt you?"

Oh, the irony of this was fantastic. When he took it slow and tried to keep control, he ended up almost killing me.

"No," I panted raggedly, "Just… smothered me a little."

"Th-that's enough for today," he said quickly, starting to get to his feet.

I grabbed his wrist, "Don't be ridiculous," I met his eye with a knowing smirk, "We've barely even started."

Amusement and denial fought it out on his face as he heard me echo his words.

"I'll be more careful," he promised, straddling my waist again tentatively.

I snorted, "Spend less time being careful and more time getting to the point."

He nodded.

"Now," I grinned, leaning up to graze my lips against his jaw, "My turn."

I felt him shiver slightly, and that was all the invitation I needed. I moved down his neck, alternately kissing and nibbling the skin until I heard his breathing grow rough. My hands landed on the hem on his shirt, and I slid it up his chest and over his head at an exaggeratedly slow pace. My mouth skimmed over his shoulder until it brushed his mark. I felt his whole body tense. I removed my own shirt slowly and allowed the bare skin of our chests to touch briefly.

"V….'Geta…." Kakarot implored, trembling as my lips skittered tantalizingly over his mating mark.

'_Oh I'm sorry, did you need something, Kakarot?'_ I deliberately touched the very tip of my tail to the mark as well, drawing out a low moan from my mate.

'_Please…'_ he begged, '_mercy…'_

Well, usually revenge was something I enjoyed; but not with my lover shaking and pleading like this.

"As you wish," I said carelessly, sliding my teeth slowly into the hollows of the scar beneath them.

Kakarot groaned in appreciation as the cracked skin split and warm blood engulfed my already hyper senses. Wasting no time, I placed my hands on his hips and shimmied his skintight jeans down his legs, where they rested below his knees. I slid my own spandex leggings down a few inches, and barely got that far before Kakarot pounced; my canines pulling out of his skin as he did, and pinned me to the grass.

"You call this taking it slow?" I teased; ready for him to give in.

He growled a low, shuddering note, "Fuck that, you should be more worried about escaping with your spine intact."

I knew he was kidding… or at least… I _hoped _he was.

He ripped the remaining clothing from me almost too quickly to see, attempting to adjust his position and murdering what was left of his jeans when they hindered his movement.

With his violent motions, I expected him to penetrate me roughly and move hard and fast. What I hands-down did _not_ expect was for him to wet his hand with saliva and deftly prepare both himself and me before he budged another inch. Seeming to rein in his strength and compulsions, he entered me slowly, dropping a lingering kiss on the inside of my thigh as he did. I moved with him, agreeing with his speed and matching it. I wondered what had caused him to go from being about ready to fuck me senseless to turning a complete one-eighty and becoming this gentle, caring person again.

His lips brushed my navel and he drew a line up lightly with his tongue, meeting my eyes gradually.

I understood. He had remembered in the split second before he lost control what had happened when he let go of his senses. Maybe he was worried about hurting me, maybe he was worried about hurting the baby in the action of creating it; I didn't know.

He kept up the slow, rolling pace for a while, only increasing it as we drew near climax. He sucked on the mark on my shoulder, not breaking the skin; but causing a whole new spectrum of sensations to unfold before me just the same. When he came, it was almost like a pledge to be better; as he was offering the component necessary to create new life, he was promising to improve ours. Promising never to be so careless again.

And I knew what he was about to say a moment before he said it. It was the same thing he said before; with a different meaning.

"Not again," he murmured, nuzzling my stomach gently, "Never again."

TBC


	38. Chapter 38

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 38

Sleep is overrated when you're lying next to your mate under the stars all night. Indeed not a wink was slept between the two of us; but the time was spent in quiet mental conversation and the sensation of skin on skin, tail fur on tail fur, that I could never get enough of.

Kakarot seemed to think I'd fallen asleep because I sensed his surprise when I broke a long silence.

'_I'm pregnant again.'_ Of course, I knew I would be. I didn't use or need a human contraption to tell me any such thing; but it seemed to have just hit me right then.

Kakarot shrugged slightly, '_Third time's a charm.'_

I sighed. Now I had to explain to everyone again; and if I failed twice the effort would be for nothing.

'_There's no hurry to tell anyone,'_ Kakarot said, sensing my thoughts; '_It can stay our secret for a while.'_

I nodded, feeling better. They'd probably figure it out on their own anyway.

"Hey," my mate actually spoke with his voice this time, "It's no cause to be upset. I'm actually glad. This is a blessing; it was a blessing the first time, the second, and now."

I looked at him and wove our fingers together, "I know."

The skyline was paling as the sun peeked over the mountains; a beautiful sight, but also a reminder that Tess and the demis would be waking soon, and we couldn't just stay here. Kakarot got to his feet first, helping me up and teleporting us inside. Who needs a door when you can Instant Transmit?

As the two of us got dressed for the day, the sun divorced the horizon a little more every second. I was pulling on one of my boots and I paused to marvel at the fact that I no longer wore gloves. When had I stopped covering my hands? Strange that it slipped my mind so long; I wondered if Kakarot had noticed, and if so, when.

I could hear Goten and Trunks shoving each other playfully on the way downstairs, and could feel Tesserot's ki shifting as he woke. I think this was the first morning he hadn't announced his hunger immediately with an earsplitting wail. Maybe he actually _was_ growing up.

Kakarot turned from threading his tail through the hole we'd both put in every pair of pants we had now - granting said tail its freedom - and pulled me flush against him to plant a kiss on my forehead. I rubbed my nose against the side of his neck affectionately and looped his tail with mine. The moment popped like a soap bubble when the telltale cry of a baby Saiyan demanding food could be heard. Kakarot sighed and released me reluctantly.

"Breakfast isn't going to make itself," he muttered, flicking me under the chin with his tail lightly in passing.

As I followed him down the stairs, I could hear the demis fighting over cereal in the usual way, and decided to take a leaf out of their book; so to speak. I skipped several steps in a jump and pushed Kakarot from behind teasingly, bolting out of range when he attempted to get me back. The action resulted in a stumbling race down the remaining stairs which ended in both of us falling head over tail to the floor in a heap with me sprawled slightly on top of my larger mate.

Kakarot laughed, "Either I was just imagining things, or you were actually being _playful_ just now."

I growled teasingly and pecked a kiss on the side of his nose, "You were just imaging things."

"Whatever you say,"

His eyes didn't leave my face for a long moment; then he leaned up and closed his lips over mine.

I heard footsteps and disconnected the kiss to see Gohan standing over us with one hand on one hip, a look of either amusement or exasperation on his face, or both.

"I swear, one of these days you'll just be glued together by the mouth; you're like a couple of horny teenagers."

Kakarot chuckled, gently extricated himself from under me, and got to his feet, "Well, by Saiyan standards; technically we _are_ still teenagers."

The demi smirked, "Yeah but you _could_ go two seconds without constantly touching each other."

I returned the smirk, "I highly doubt that."

Tesserot gave another piercing cry from the other room, dissipating the conversation.

"Right, food, I forgot," Kakarot said quickly.

Gohan blinked, "You forgot about _food?_ Who are you and what have you done with Dad?"

I rolled my eyes and walked into the kitchen, "With my luck, the real Kakarot is handcuffed and gagged in the basement and this is a clone bent on getting my hopes way too high and then ripping them away."

Kakarot seemed hurt by my words; I hadn't meant to say them out loud. It had been a long time since my dry humor had turned morbid like it had been back in the old days.

I apologized with my eyes and started getting Tesserot's oatmeal ready. You wouldn't _believe_ the things I could do with oatmeal these days; Tess's fickle appetite called for creativity.

'_Could you get him out of his crib and get him dressed? I can handle breakfast today.'_

Kakarot nodded; I could tell he was still stung by the fact that I'd suggested he was just leading me up to destroy me. I resolved to make it up to him later. Words meant a lot where my mate was concerned and they hurt worse than punches now; I could relate.

A few minutes passed in which water boiled, oats were stirred, and a pair of demi-Saiyans scurried outside after finishing their much-fought-over breakfast. Before long, Tess came somewhat unsteadily into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes after sleep, shadowed by his father. I felt my heart swell with the emotion I had been unfamiliar with until recently but which now made up so much of my life – love – as I saw them both. My mate and my youngest son; two years ago I would never have guessed I'd have either.

"Morning _Tӫtka,_" Tess smiled up at me.

I hid a smirk as I saw the mismatched clothes he had on, "Did you dress yourself, Tesserot?"

He blinked once; then nodded proudly, "All by myself."

I looked up at Kakarot and he shrugged, "He said he wanted to do it himself." '_I have a feeling he wanted to impress you, Your Highness.'_ He added mentally.

I cast around for something parental to say in the situation, "Well, that was very grown up of you," I said nervously, not sure what the one-year-old wanted to hear exactly. Who can fathom the mind of a child?

Immediately Tess broke into a huge smile and stood on his toes to see what I was cooking; his short black tail swinging to maintain his precarious balance.

Saiyan development never ceased to amaze me; he was barely a year old and he spoke and acted like he was three times his age.

I handed him his bowl of cereal, making sure it wasn't too hot or too heavy beforehand and that the bowl wasn't breakable. He liked to do things himself; even if he hadn't completely mastered the art of using a spoon yet.

I was aware of Kakarot's presence directly behind me. He leaned his chin on my shoulder and murmured in my ear, "Feeling okay?" I knew he was talking about my being pregnant again.

I shirked him off insouciantly, "It's only been six hours, Kakarot; relax."

He looked at me steadily.

"Still, if anything doesn't feel right; just let me know."

His concern wiped the sarcastic reply I had in mind from my conversational pallet.

Tesserot finished his oatmeal in a record of five minutes and handed the bowl back to me, "More?"

Kakarot smiled, "He eats like a Saiyan,"

I whacked my mate with my tail, "He _is_ a Saiyan." I turned to my son and added, "Of course there's more, Tesserot; how much do you want?"

It did me good to see the child growing strong and healthy; a living, breathing testament that somewhere in my messed up life I'd done something right .

X

Trunks and Goten were at school and Gohan was watching Tesserot for a while. Kakarot had suggested we spar one more time before my ki started failing me; and of course I'd jumped at the chance. The weather was fair, and on an island in the middle of nowhere, senseless destruction ensued.

Granted Kakarot and I had had some spectacular sparring sessions back in the day; but this one was nothing short of epic. Before an hour was up, the island had been split into separate chunks floating in the ocean from the sheer force of recurrent collision. The very sky shook with each blow and the flashes of yellow ki rivaled the brightest fireworks. Both of us were at Ascended Super Saiyan, and though punches and kicks were landed like speeding freight trains; we were careful not to hurt each other. Kakarot especially seemed to hold back; aiming nowhere near my midsection and hitting the cliff sides more than he did me, mostly just to feel the layers of solid rock give way.

For the moment, I could almost put all the worries and changes and difficulties out of my mind. It was as if it was still two years ago and I was still the undisputed, powerful Saiyan prince I used to be. Not a mother. Not a liability. Just a warrior that solved problems by blowing them up.

My mate seemed to be enjoying himself thoroughly as well; though his attacks rarely made contact with me. The physical activity and radiating power seemed to light him up and make him into something new. He didn't have to worry about his drastically changing personality out here, nor did he have to battle mood swings that cancelled out even my worst, or attempt to be a father to three, a devoted mate, and Earth's protector all at once. It all boiled down to the beat of a heart, the pull of laboring muscle, and the rush of wind stirring up the ocean spray around us.

After five hours, we returned; sweat-soaked, filthy, bruised, bleeding, and completely rejuvenated.

"We've got to do that more often," Kakarot muttered, "After this is all over, I mean."

I nodded, "I doubt Earth has enough islands to withstand that."

"Then we'll go to other planets."

I stretched languorously before opening the door to the house quietly. It looked and sounded like the kids were asleep, except Gohan. I'd have to remember to thank him for doing his job so well.

The adult demi-Saiyan looked up from reading as we entered the living room; his eyes roved over us once before he went back to his book.

"You guys need a shower," he said simply.

Kakarot shot me a glance; then we both cracked up.

"I guess so," I said.

"Keep it PG in there," he warned as we walked away, "The bathroom's right next to Goten's bedroom."

I glared at him, "What do you think we are, brainless perverts?"

His raised eyebrows answered for themselves.

TBC

((_Okay I lied. This one wasn't even 2,000 words. I guess some chapter's will just be short; but c'mon, fillers are hard to write.))_


	39. Chapter 39

_((Certain people - I'm not going to say who, *cough*Cara2012*cough* - keep saying Goku's still a jerk and was mean for picking on Vegeta all the time during the first pregnancy. I've been trying to ease up the tension and resentment over time, but you keep saying 'oh he's still a jerk', 'oh I'm still mad at him'. …Well, are you satisfied now? Are they allowed to be happy now?_

_And those of you who have forgiven Goku and possibly forgotten the whole issue are probably thinking 'oh grodd, she just WON'T let it go, will she'?_

_Sorry guys, but I had to clear this up once and for all._

_-Shinsun))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 39

Two or three weeks passed. Contrary to the other two times I'd been pregnant, this time the mood swings showed up first. Many an awkward situation was created when I went from talking calmly with someone to snarling and then breaking into tears in the space of one minute. Even Kakarot seemed to notice that the switches in attitude were far more frequent and drastic than they were before; and frankly, he avoided me when it was convenient for him; not wanting to get caught in the mess. He said nothing about it, but I could tell he was unnerved.

I also noticed he slept a lot less. He was awake and stressing so much and so often that it must have been unhealthy. I often woke in the night to find him lying next to me; arms folded, staring at the ceiling with blazing eyes. Sometimes I wondered if he was praying grudgingly; maybe making deals with the gods in his mind.

Meanwhile Tesserot grew and grew; as did his vocabulary and fluency of speech. I couldn't have been prouder, and I hoped beyond hope that he would stay healthy and happy.

One event that struck me as important was when Trunks accidentally elbowed the little Saiyan, tripping him and knocking him flat on his backside. Rather than cry as any human child would, Tess got a look of almost condescending irritation on his face - which wasn't nearly as effective since he was so small - and shot a tiny ki blast right in the lavender-headed demi's face. I was as shocked as Trunks was; but definitely more approving than him. My little son was learning to fight back. When I told my mate about the child's first energy blast, he showed more interest than he had in over a week, even laughing as I described Trunks's affronted expression and singed purple hair.

The good mood –fluctuating or not - didn't last long, however. Kakarot got a phone call from his ex-wife; and I'll tell you, it wasn't pretty. I didn't hear what was said, but I heard Kakarot's angry tone as he retorted and felt his frustration and outright antipathy clearly. He almost sounded disgusted as he hung up the phone; and seemed to brood obsessively for the rest of the day. I couldn't ask him about it until the kids were asleep, though; so I went about the day's activities with as much participation as I could.

So as the third week of the third pregnancy drew to a gradual close that night; I lay next to my mate, contemplating how to best broach the subject.

But I didn't have to say anything, it turned out.

"ChiChi lost her job," Kakarot muttered at the ceiling, "She got evicted from her apartment and moved in with her dad. She lost everything… and she thought she could just come _crawling_ back."

_Oh_. I bit my lip; it was hard to answer such a blunt laying out of information.

Kakarot gave a short, dry laugh that had absolutely no humor in it.

"What did she expect? That she could move back in and everything else would go away? That she could stay _here_ with me, my pregnant mate and four kids? Two of which aren't even _hers?"_

Usually I'd agree, and that would be that. But I was surprised to feel a surge of what could have been _pity._ The emotion was so unusual for me that I almost didn't recognize it at all.

I shook the feeling off. That woman deserved what she got, right? To the winner goes the spoils….

And yet Kakarot sure was bitter for someone who'd come out on top despite all the odds.

"You still care about her," I murmured simply, quietly, almost to myself.

My mate's eyes flitted to mine before returning to the ceiling.

"Yes." He said shortly.

"Why?"

He turned on his side so that he could look at me directly, an almost calculating expression on his face; illuminated by the bars of moonlight streaming through the window.

"Do you still care about Bulma?"

"Of course," I answered without thinking.

I understood where he was going with this; but Bulma hadn't wronged me the way Kakarot had been wronged. Quite the opposite; the blue-haired woman was a valuable asset and an enormous help with things that would have been impossible to face alone. She was a companion, a helper, a scientist. Chi-Chi was none of the above. She was a divorcee, a somewhat abusive parent…. A failure.

"You feel sorry for her," I pressed on, attempting to decode what my mate was actually thinking.

A short incline of the head; perhaps a nod.

"But you won't offer her your compassion…" I went on, still trying to understand, "Or a place to stay."

"No," Kakarot said bluntly, "She fell on her own; now she has to get back up."

"Just like you." I realized what he meant now. Kakarot had fallen quite a few times as of late; mostly because he'd chosen me over his wife and suffered the consequences. There was still a lot of resentment buried deep from all that emotional baggage. I had to wonder how much of it had once been directed at me.

He'd had everything; a home, a loving wife, a family of his own, the reputation of both a family man and the innocent yet powerful savior of the cosmos. Among his friends and relations, he was somewhat normal.

I guess I ruined that. Or _we_ ruined that. For better or worse, I'd torn him away from his wife and _normal_ family and pushed him into the unknown; constantly chasing him and demanding why, _why_, always why. I suppose it was selfish. I wondered how easily he could have been tipped over into the realm his ex was dwelling in now. How much stress or pressure it would have taken to push him to the brink when his nerves were still so raw from divorce. He could have become abusive like her; he could have even taken up drinking or drugs. Who knows?

And yet each time he had to pick himself back up and keep moving; providing for what was left of his broken up family with what he had and supporting me as best he could while I battled that first pregnancy and the challenges it brought.

I see now why he was so _angry_ all the time. Why he'd repeatedly shouted at me and came damn close to killing me at some point. He had to blame someone. He couldn't blame ChiChi because she wasn't there, and perhaps he still felt some kind of attachment to her. He'd obviously tried to keep blaming himself, but that amounted to nothing in the long run. So he vented on me.

And apparently, there was still some acrimony left over from all of that. And rightly so.

At times, Kakarot seemed happy enough; but he was far from the cheerful, smiling person he'd been before. He was bitter. He was complicated. He'd learned to regret and to hate. He'd picked up sarcasm, and was now so skilled in it that it was hard to tell when he was serious or not.

And above all, he'd learned who to trust, and who to turn away.

"I forgive you," I whispered. I'd said it before; but I'd never really _thought_ about it. And only after considering everything he'd gone through and everything he'd done did I realize I really did forgive him. It wasn't that I didn't blame him – I did, for many things – but I was willing to let it all go now.

Surprisingly, Kakarot seemed to know exactly what I was talking about; because he nodded slowly and closed his eyes. Maybe he'd been following the pattern of my thoughts; or maybe he'd been thinking about the same things to begin with.

"I hope she doesn't make the same mistakes I did," he said after a moment, "That she learns what I learned and ends up somewhere she deserves to be."

"And what about you?" I asked, "Are you where you deserve to be?"

One coal black eye opened briefly before closing again.

"I don't deserve half of what I have now," he sighed, "I don't deserve this; you, us…. happiness…"

I laughed shortly, "Kakarot, if _anyone_ deserves happiness; it's you. After all you've done for this planet, for the universe, for Tesserot and the others…. For me…."

I trailed off for a moment. Somehow a pure, sinless warrior and a cold-blooded murderer had ended up in the exact same place at the same time; in the same situation. What were the odds of that?

"The truth is, Kakarot…. you deserve me, and much more; but I don't deserve you."

He surprised me thoroughly by thwacking me with a pillow.

"Shut up. You've more than earned your share."

"And so have you," I said stubbornly.

He exhaled slowly, "Whatever."

No use arguing, I suppose. And in due time, both of us fell asleep.

X

Steam, water, and Kakarot…. I was practically purring as my mate stroked lather-coated hands across my shoulders and neck; the humid water hissing as it skittered over both of us. Days had passed since the phone call; and this was one of the first times I'd relaxed in that time.

Kakarot's touch was chaste, companionable, and placid. He explored the bared skin of my back, shoulders and chest, washing and massaging in the same motion; his damp tail flicking water and suds to and fro. He slowly slid my tail through his hand, coating the furry length in soap to the tip.

I smelled jasmine in the scented shampoo as his fingers dove through my thick, dark hair, combing and smoothing the individual locks that still defied gravity even under the spray of water. Gently, he tipped my head back to rinse the lather from my hair, purring quietly and smiling in the small, genuine way that made my heart melt.

He was washing down my chest and midsection leisurely; still maintaining the easy silence, when he paused. His free hand captured my own and he placed the two joined hands on my abdomen. Yes, I could feel it too; the faint, almost imperceptible curve and softness of once-solid muscle. And the tiny spark of ki shifting and fluxing beneath our fingers.

"You weren't there," I breathed, "When I discovered this the first time." I was referring to the first pregnancy when I'd initially noticed the physical difference. I'd been in the shower that time too.

"Well I'm glad I am now," he murmured into my neck, embracing me lightly.

I took it as a good sign that I'd come this far without problems. But I figured it was about time to tell Bulma and the others that I was pregnant again.

TBC


	40. Chapter 40

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 40

And of course the dreams came back. Of _course_ they did.

Not the same as before; where I dreamt of balancing on suspended wires and caring for baby animals…. These were _much_ more disturbing; and _much_ more accurate.

I wasn't sure it was possible to feel pain while asleep, but these nightmares confirmed it was indeed very possible. I dreamt of the agony I'd endured when I went into labor over a year ago, of the defenseless, helpless feeling weighing down on me; unable to think, unable to move. I saw Kakarot's blurred, distraught face flickering in and out of my vision; he was speaking to me, but I could only hear two of his words repeating; '_Hold on… hold on…'_. Someone was shouting at me; though I was so lost in pain and confusion that I wasn't sure if it was in anger or fear. All I was aware of was my own rapid heartbeat and the grip of torture wringing through me. Then I saw Tesserot; he was older, maybe ten years old or so, and his cheeks were stained with tears. He was asking me why I had to leave him, why I had to die. I tried to tell him that was ridiculous and that of course I hadn't died…. But then I realized what I was looking at…. A tombstone with my name engraved on it in Saiyan.

I jolted awake with a shout; my heart pounding.

Pulling my knees up to my chest, I buried my face in my hands and told myself over and over that it was only a dream. I was shaking slightly, my tail lashing to vent my nerves.

'_What happened?'_ I heard my mate's thoughts enter my mind gently. I peered through my fingers and saw him watching me concernedly.

"Nothing," I swallowed hard, "Just a nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he prompted, "Understanding it will make you feel better."

What was there not to understand? I didn't need the dream explained; it was pretty obvious what it meant. I was scared of that horrible blinding pain; the inability to control my own body, and death. It was pretty straightforward.

I shook my head slowly, "It's… not a big deal."

He blinked steadily, "Are you sure? Dreams have gotten us into a lot of trouble in the past."

I remembered when Kakarot had almost burned both of us to nothing when he had a nightmare about losing me.

"It's not like that. I had vivid dreams before when I was pregnant." I muttered. Of course, none of my previous dreams had been quite so terrifying, but I didn't mention that.

Kakarot seemed thoroughly unconvinced, but he nodded absently and didn't bring it up again.

X

I found myself at Capsule Corp the next morning, and couldn't remember exactly how Kakarot had convinced me to go there. Something involving a kiss, probably; he could get me to do just about anything when he kissed me.

Anyway, Bulma and her parents were there, as well as that idiot Yamcha – who I suspected was dating Bulma now, not that I cared – and Tesserot and the demis. I had a hunch that Kakarot had brought me here to tell them I was pregnant _yet again_ while I had them all in one place.

Bunny Briefs set up a magnificent breakfast fit for an army of Saiyans and a small party of humans. I still had no idea how she pulled that off; cooking for _one_ Saiyan was hard enough; two was nearly impossible without messing at least something up; never mind a whole group. And yes, I spoke from experience.

I made sure I sat as far away from Bulma as possible, so that I could evade whatever she threw at me if it came to that. Kakarot took a seat next to me, whether for the same reason as me or to prove he was always at my side; I wasn't sure. Tess was in my lap; refusing the high chair Bunny offered in favor of sneaking food off my plate. He knew I wouldn't reprimand him for this, and he got to eat twice as much as usual that way. Not that I minded; I was glad he had an appetite, and I wasn't particularly hungry myself. In fact, the nausea had returned and I knew it wouldn't be long before the dreaded morning sickness joined it.

I waited for a moment of silence before even attempting to speak; and just my luck, I didn't get one. Everyone was too busy talking and laughing, and I think I might have been the only one who said nothing; except maybe Tess, but even he chipped in now and then when he saw fit.

Once people had finished eating and everyone was just conversing quietly, Kakarot solved my dilemma easily by tapping his fork against the side of his glass to call attention. The action seemed so unlike him – and the fact that the glass didn't shatter was pretty amazing too – that the audible clinking sound was barely needed for everyone's eyes to fall on him – except Bunny, who never opened her eyes, ever…. I have no clue why or how.

'_You want to tell them, or do you want me to?' _Kakarot asked in his mind.

'_You did it last time. It's my turn.'_ I said assuredly.

He shrugged, '_When you're ready; you've got the floor.'_

I sorted my words carefully before I spoke; then cleared my throat.

"In… In light of recent events, I feel an… obligation to tell you all the news." I paused for a moment to glance at Kakarot for approval, he nodded twice, "After the unfortunate incident seven months ago where I lost my second child, I personally am pleased to say that I have conceived again."

Gohan blinked, "_Again?_ Isn't it a bit…. risky?"

Kakarot smiled simply, "What's life without a little risk? I for one am glad for Vegeta."

Trunks spoke up, "Me too. It's about time we had some good news."

I looked at the demi suddenly in a new light. Not a child; a young teenager on his way to manhood. I reminded myself that he was my son too; I didn't give him anywhere near as much appreciation as he deserved.

Goten nodded eagerly, but said nothing; simply giving his father and me a smile.

My gaze travelled to the adults of its own volition.

Yamcha was the first to speak, "Well hell, I'm glad for you too, man. If you and Goku are happy, I'm happy."

Huh. Maybe Yamcha wasn't such an idiot.

"You'll pass the news on to Krillin?" Kakarot asked.

Yamcha nodded, "Sure. No problem."

Bunny broke into her usual, careless smile, "I think it's wonderful, honey! New life, new blood, new grandchildren!"

I decided not to remind her that technically none of Kakarot and my children were related to her by blood. Only Trunks.

The blonde woman's husband nodded and gave some kind of remark. Honestly I think he was a little uncomfortable about the whole thing; not that I blamed him. It was all kind of strange; even for _me_, and I'd been living it for almost two years.

The only person who hadn't spoken was Bulma. And only she and Gohan hadn't given their approval yet.

Bulma seemed to think for a long time, and then said evenly, "What else did I expect from a bunch of hormone-crazy Saiyans that don't know a condom from a candy dispenser?"

Kakarot glanced at me, then burst out laughing, slapping the table in his mirth. I was inclined to join in his amusement, but I felt Gohan's gaze on me.

I looked up at him and was surprised to see a knowing expression on his face. Not quite a smile, but not an unpleasant expression.

"Living around Tesserot has been an adventure, I'll admit," he said slowly, "And I can see you two really love each other," he nodded at Kakarot and me, "So I'll just say it one more time. As long as there's no biting or rampaging Super Saiyans coming in contact with me; I'm all set."

Kakarot and I nodded in tandem.

I was glad that was sorted out; and even more so that I hadn't had anything thrown at me.

X

The sun set gradually after we returned home, and while the younger demis did homework and Gohan read in his room upstairs – he always had his nose in some book or other – Tesserot scribbled in a coloring book Bunny had given him, his Saiyan strength snapping the crayons in half about eighty percent of the time. Kakarot helped Trunks with his math homework – don't even ask; it wasn't that Kakarot was good at math, it was that he had to remind Trunks to focus and not doodle every ten seconds – and I watched Tess fill the pages of his new book with bright green and yellow, rebelliously avoiding the guidelines as if he knew the rules and was breaking them anyway.

When the last child was asleep and Gohan flicked his light out upstairs, I at last allowed myself to relax and collapsed on the sofa next to my mate.

I let my mind wander and threaded Kakarot's silky black tail through my fingers, not really thinking about what I was doing. Only when he started purring against his will, crossing one leg over the other agitatedly, did I release the appendage.

I noted that he was avoiding my gaze, and a glimpse of his thoughts revealed why this was so.

He didn't want to overstep any of the new boundaries he'd drawn. I guessed that he blamed himself for the miscarriage seven months ago – probably thinking that he'd caused some kind of damage when he made love to me and that he'd triggered the whole thing; which was not the case…. I was pretty sure…. So now he was afraid to touch me at all in that way for fear of causing it to happen again.

I wasn't entirely sure if I agreed with him; I remembered how hard it had been for him to resist his urges before, and of course the blame wasn't solely his… I was as guilty as he was. Bulma had been kidding when she said "hormone-crazy Saiyans", but this time it was no laughing matter.

'_I know,_' I sighed, speaking in my mind so as not to wake the children upstairs and Tess across the hall.

'_Know what?'_ Kakarot muttered.

'_That you're… restraining yourself.'_ It was hard to think of a term that described what Kakarot was trying to do.

'_Whatever,'_ he said distractedly, '_It's not important.'_

'_It is to you,'_ I responded, moving an inch closer to him to meet his eye, '_To all Saiyans. Maintaining a bond is the most important thing aside from winning a battle.'_

'_But last time…when you were a month in, like now, when we….'_ He swallowed, '_I was so rough… I wouldn't be surprised if I accidentally k –" _ he broke off, unable to finish his sentence. The word "kill" was hard to say when speaking of an innocent life that was ended, so I could see why.

"It was nature, Kakarot," I murmured, keeping my voice low, unable to form a mental reply when my mind was so preoccupied, "Not you."

"Still. I won't put everything we've worked for in jeopardy just because I can't look at you without thinking…" he trailed off, seeming angry with himself for even voicing that much.

It was flattering to say the least to know that every single time he looked at me he felt attraction…. Nonetheless, I was pretty sure he was serious and wouldn't be swayed this time…. not that I particularly wanted to sway him. The truth was, I wasn't sure if it _had_ been Kakarot's fault or not, but I didn't want to even risk going through that heartbreak again.

And yet I couldn't deny that when I looked at him, I… fantasized a little…. or a lot. The man's body was like a god's – better yet, every inch of it belonged to _me_ - who _wouldn't_ be attracted to such perfection?

I glanced at him once, thinking.

'_Can you at least kiss me without getting your lust up?'_ I asked mentally.

He looked at me steadily, '_I can try. If you… stop me if I…'_

The sentence remained hanging in the air, even if it hadn't been spoken audibly.

'…._Okay.'_

A small smile flitted across his face and he lay back on the couch, pulling me down on top of him as if to demonstrate giving me his trust. He trusted me to stop him if he lost control, and I hoped I could uphold that.

Slowly, I instigated a long kiss, closing my lips over his and losing my fingers in his black satin hair. His tail practically wagged as he added his own pressure to the kiss, leaning up and devouring my mouth domineeringly. I reminded him of his place here by gently biting his lip, and he relaxed some, allowing me to take the reins. A dominant person by nature, Kakarot often struggled when he had to give someone else control; but to have the strongest being in the known universe beneath you, asking you to give him pleasure and love… there isn't a word for it and I shall not use a substitute.

One supple leg stroked along mine, the rough denim of jeans abrading against stretchy spandex, and Kakarot's hand gently touched my abdomen, as if searching for the shallow curve there before tracing it.

'_Why are you so fascinated by the fact that I'm pregnant?' _I teased, delving into his mouth with my tongue.

He smirked against my lips, '_I think it's sexy.'_

I blinked open my eyes, '_Really?'_

'_Sure,'_ he said – thought, whatever - easily, '_It makes you unique.'_

I erased any further thoughts by kissing him harder, my fingers knotting in his unruly black spikes. He gave a soft, panted moan and his hips drove hard against me.

'_I'll let that one slide,_' I muttered. Though his movements were definitely sexual, he still granted me total control and retained a clear mind, so I didn't see any reason to stop yet.

Suddenly, with a muted bang, the door opened. Kakarot and I broke apart immediately, startled, though my fingers remained tangled in his hair and I didn't move from straddling his legs.

"ChiChi!" Kakarot growled, attempting to sit up and failing because he couldn't move his head with my grip on his hair. I released him and he got to his feet, I stood as well; unsure about this situation.

"What in the actual fu –?" ChiChi began heatedly, but Kakarot cut her off.

"You can't just come barging in, ChiChi, what are you even _doing_ here?" part of him sounded angry, but there was definitely some uncertainty lingering in his voice.

"This is my house too, _Goku,_ you can't just kick me out," she said irritatedly.

Kakarot shook his head, "I thought you moved in with your dad; besides, according to the divorce papers we _both_ signed, the house belongs to me."

"Well according to your identification papers you're an unemployed Caucasian _human,_" ChiChi said breezily, "And how true is that?"

I watched the back and forth from the sidelines; debating whether to break up the argument or join in on my mate's behalf.

"Get out," Kakarot commanded her, "I told you, you can't stay here."

She made a gesture where she knew Gohan and Goten's bedrooms were, "Those two children are mine too, Goku! If you were so interested in family, you wouldn't have _left_ so much when we were married! You wouldn't have stayed _dead_ for seven years!"

I winced. She'd hit him right where it hurt; especially considering that he was now essentially the dominant male of an entire pack. Or technically, of the entire Saiyan race.

Kakarot didn't snarl at her, as I expected him to. But he met her gaze with a kind of fierce pride, "I'm not the same person anymore, ChiChi. Things have changed."

"Why?" ChiChi retorted, "Because of _him?_" she made a violent motion at me.

Kakarot's lip curled angrily, "Leave Vegeta out of this, I changed because I finally realized how _stupid and naïve _I'd been before!_"_

"And now you're _so_ smart?" ChiChi taunted, "Because you knocked up a whore prince in exchange for a scar on your shoulder?"

I didn't even see Kakarot move, but I knew what he did because his ki spiked alarmingly the instant before he attacked.

ChiChi was pinned against the wall, and Kakarot was at level two of Super Saiyan; fast approaching three, his grip around her throat was unforgiving. Cracks were spiderwebbing up the walls from the pressure, and yellow ki and lightning was shooting everywhere.

I couldn't make myself budge, and it took me a moment to realize Kakarot had put some kind of invisible force over me; holding me in place with his ki.

I could see the full length of his half-inch canine teeth as he snarled at his ex-wife, "_No one. Calls my mate. A whore…. __**No one**__."_

I could hear the words in my mind as well even as he spoke them; and the unadulterated fury pulsing from each syllable rivaled anything I'd ever seen to describe the word. Frieza, Cell and Buu's worst tempers paled in comparison to the rage and hatred that turned the softly spoken words to weapons.

I heard a thud as a door was slammed and a rusty squeal as another was torn off its hinges, and saw Gohan, Goten and Trunks streaking down the stairs.

The three demis skidded to a halt in unison.

Gohan spoke first, "Dad, what are you _doing?!"_

Kakarot looked up, his turquoise eyes still illuminated by the aura he was giving off.

"You'll kill her!" Trunks added frantically.

Kakarot seemed puzzled by this, "Well yeah," he said matter-of-factly; as if that was the point.

"Kakarot," I intoned from my place rooted to the floor, "Let her go."

"But she called you a –!" he began angrily, whipping around to face me and letting ChiChi slide to the floor, unconscious.

"I know," I said carefully, "She was out of line; but that's no reason to _murder_ her."

'_Remember when those human teenagers called us a couple of homos?'_ I asked in my mind; no one needed to know about that besides us, so I didn't say it out loud, '_What did I say to you, shi-kḁdria? Do you remember?'_

Kakarot's icy gaze seemed to melt some when I called him by the Saiyan word for love, '_You said they didn't know better…. That they didn't know anything about me.'_

'_Exactly. Your ex is upset; she was only speaking out of anger; and, like those teenagers, she knows nothing about you…. the real you.'_

Gohan put a hand to his forehead with a wince, "Can you guys talk normally, please? It gives me a headache when you do that."

I blinked, startled, "You can hear when we communicate telepathically?"

"No," the demi muttered, "All I can hear is this buzzing sound – kind of like radio static - and it makes my head hurt."

I wondered if that had to do with the fact that I'd bitten the demi before Kakarot and I were mated mutually. Either way, it was interesting.

"We should get mom off the floor," Goten said quietly, as if he was afraid his father would attack him if he said it any louder.

I was amazed Tesserot hadn't woken up during all the commotion; that child could sleep through a hurricane…. until the crack of dawn, that is.

"Kakarot," I said gently, "Can you let me go, please?"

My mate hung his head slightly and released the hold his ki had over me; powering down in the same moment to his normal state, his hair and eyes bleeding back to black.

"I'm sorry," he sighed.

Gohan picked ChiChi up off the ground and laid her gently on the sofa, "She'll be fine as long as she rests," the demi proclaimed, "Keep her head elevated and when she wakes up, give her lots of fluids."

"You want her to _stay_ here?" Kakarot sounded outraged; stark contrast to his apology two seconds ago.

"We've got no choice," Gohan said calmly, "You're not really angry with her, Dad; just the name she called Vegeta. …And some of the choices she made."

Smart kid. Though technically he wasn't really a kid anymore.

"She can stay until she feels well enough to leave," I said steadily, "Okay, Kakarot?"

"Fine, whatever." he muttered, crossing his arms.

The demis went back to bed once they were sure nothing violent was about to happen, and Kakarot turned to me.

"You didn't keep your promise," he said bluntly.

I flinched, "What promise?"

He looked at me with piercing black eyes.

"You promised to stop me if I lost control."

TBC


	41. Chapter 41

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 41

I awoke before anyone else the next morning to a splitting headache and a reeling stomach. I made my way quietly to the bathroom, knowing the morning sickness had returned but not really caring anymore. I knew it would stop. Eventually.

The house was cold outside Kakarot's and my bedroom; and the tiles of the bathroom floor were even colder. Winter was on the way; I wondered distantly what Tesserot would think once it started snowing.

Once I'd emptied my stomach and steadied my shaking knees, I went to check on Tess – who would be wanting breakfast soon – and remembered while halfway down the stairs that ChiChi was still here. Well, that complicated things.

I wondered why I'd given my consent for her to stay. After all, _I'd_ been the one she insulted; and my usual princely arrogance would once have resulted in her exile… or execution. What a strange feeling; to _not_ want to kill someone who'd offended me. At the very least, I might have allowed Kakarot to strangle her back in the day.

I was surprised to find her awake, sitting on the couch and reading a book as if she belonged here. And she did once; but not now. I was…. intrigued by her disregard; even with rings of bruises around her throat where her ex-husband had throttled her, she looked careless and calm. I paused with one foot on the bottom stair; contemplating where _I_ fit in this situation. In ChiChi's eyes, I was probably a freak, an oddity that had rudely invaded her planet and pried her away from her loving husband with some kind of dark magic. I was an alien; more to her than anyone.

I wiped some lingering sweat from my forehead and debated whether to retreat or investigate this scenario. My mind was made for me when the woman noticed my presence and nearly jumped out of her skin. I took a moment to collect myself and scrape together my poise. I wasn't my usual deadly, royal self anymore; but _she_ didn't have to know that.

I steadily walked right past her, biting my tongue to keep the many sarcastic remarks that leapt to mind to myself. No reason to stir up trouble unless she did. I did hope she recovered quickly so I could kick her out; she certainly made the atmosphere awkward.

Tess's door slid open on silent hinges, and I peered in. The child was awake, lying still beneath his blanket as if hiding from something. I wondered if he'd had a nightmare, and why he hadn't alerted me if he did.

"What's wrong, Tesserot?" I whispered, pulling the edge of his blanket away from his face so I could see his eyes.

He met my gaze for all of two seconds, and then reached up and wrapped his tiny arms around my neck, pulling me down so he could find the comfort he sought.

I picked him up gently and laid his head on my shoulder; making soothing, purring sounds.

"What happened?" I asked quietly.

"That lady," he murmured into my shirt.

I knew he meant ChiChi.

"What about her?"

Tess was silent for a moment.

"…Scary." He said softly.

Well, I agreed with him there.

"She won't hurt you," I promised, "I swear to it." _I'll kill her if she tries. _For once, I was glad Tess couldn't read my mind.

The year-old child looked at me stanchly, "She hurt you… and Daddy."

….She did? I was slightly confused.

"Here," The toddler placed a tiny fist on my chest, right where my heart was.

I sucked in a breath sharply. His insight was… amazing. He was a year old, for the gods' sakes!

"She just…" I faltered, how do you explain to a child? "She made Kakarot sad. And angry."

_And if he is, I am._

"Why?"

I sighed, "It's…. it's complicated, Tess. Grown-up things."

"Oh."

"She's… she still loves her sons," I didn't expect him to understand, but I needed to talk to someone; and if I told Kakarot my theories and worries, he'd just get upset again. Same with the demis. They were too closely linked to ChiChi.

"She's a _tӫtka_ too?" Tess asked, seeming confused.

"Um, yes." I nodded, slightly awkward. I knew I'd have to explain this at some point; but I thought I had more time to think of how to put it.

"But she's… different than you," the child persisted.

Oh, the gods had a terrible sense of humor. How the hell do you tell a one-year-old child the difference between a man and a woman and… a hermaphrodite? I barely understood it myself.

"You don't need to worry about such things, Tesserot. I'll explain when you're older."

For a moment, the child still looked stubborn; but then he just tightened his hug around my neck, curling his little fingers through the base of my hairline.

"Okay." He sighed softly. I felt my heart swell, and ran a hand gently through his dark brown spikes of hair; inhaling his unique scent that was a lot like mine, with icy, saline notes that imitated his father's.

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" I asked after a minute.

He shook his head.

"Breakfast?"

"Mhm," he nodded.

I smiled, "Coming right up."

He could walk on his own, of course, but he seemed very comfortable nestled in the crook of my arm and shoulder, so I carried him on the way to the kitchen; decidedly avoiding ChiChi's gaze as I passed her. Let her judge; I didn't care.

I glimpsed Kakarot at the foot of the stairs, ruffling his unkempt bangs into their usual – still unkempt – state and yawning tiredly. I kissed him lightly on the cheek as I passed; really an excuse to whisper in his ear.

"Don't start any trouble with ChiChi; the quicker she recovers the sooner she'll be out of our hair."

"I know," he answered, then his eyebrows furrowed a little, '_You were sick this morning, weren't you? I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.'_

'_That's okay, you needed to sleep. Besides, there wouldn't have been a lot for you to do.'_

"Alright," he touched his nose to mine, smiled at his youngest son, and walked away.

I made Tess's scrambled eggs for him and set the table for the three demis and the pure-blooded child. I didn't plan on eating while my stomach was still unstable, and my mate's negative ki vibes were suggesting he'd be too off kilter to eat much anyway. As for ChiChi; she could fend for herself.

I took a seat in the living room just to rest for a moment and recuperate my depleting energy. It was on and off now; sometimes I was at my normal power level; other times I had no more ki than a human.

I felt the woman's ebon eyes on me. Unlike Kakarot's eyes – which were black just like hers – they were like daggers.

"What do you want, woman?" I growled exasperatedly; thinking it better to start an exchange than fall prey to whatever she was scheming.

"You really are pregnant, aren't you?" she sounded disapproving, almost antagonizing.

I chuckled drily with zero humor, "What, you think my son just appeared out of thin air?"

Then what she had asked sunk in, and I rethought the response. She hadn't questioned that I _had_ gotten pregnant, she was questioning if I was _right now_. How the hell could she tell?

She seemed to guess where my line of thought was going; which was both impressive and disturbing.

"I've been around the block a few times, _Your Highness,_ and I know morning sickness like the back of my hand."

Oh. That made sense.

I wasn't a fan of her bitter tone… no, bitter wasn't the right word. It was… bitchy.

Why was I talking to her again? It didn't benefit me in the slightest to answer her stupid questions.

"Why do you put up with it?" she asked icily, "For someone of your parental caliber, it seems like a dead-ended road to me."

_Parental caliber._ Says the abusive, frying-pan-wielding psycho.

"I'm not falling for any of your shit, woman. I know what you're after."

"And that would be….?" she asked silkily.

"Obviously. Kakarot. The house. Your old life back." I retorted bluntly.

I noticed she didn't deny it.

"You know, I wouldn't mind taking in one more. If you want to leave the parenting to the experts, you could run off and be a free-minded prince again."

I blinked. What was she talking about? _I wouldn't mind taking in one more…._

I leapt to my feet with a snarl.

"No. Fucking. Way. Gods, what sick, fucked up world do you live in that you think I'd just… just _hand over_ my son like a pair of boots? Will you do _anything_ to get your way?"

"Sorry if freedom doesn't appeal to you," she said breezily.

I had to restrain my hand from slapping her by clenching it into a shaking fist.

"What have you ever done for Goku that I haven't done?" she went on airily, "Given him an heir? I gave him two. Cooked his meals? Been there, done that. _Loved_ him? Well, what would _you_ know about love?"

"More than you, apparently." I was surprised that the sentence didn't belong to me; I'd been about to say the same thing, but Kakarot beat me to it.

"You've overstayed your welcome, ChiChi," Kakarot continued; his voice was flat and emotionless, but I could hear the bottled rage edging the quiet words, "Get out _now._ If you need a ride, I'd be _glad_ to teleport you home."

He'd never sounded less glad in all the time I'd known him.

ChiChi stood up slowly, meeting her ex-husband's charcoal gaze haughtily. I damn near killed her for what she did next; except I was too frozen with shock to move.

She stood up on tiptoe, grabbed Kakarot by his bangs, and kissed him.

There was a moment's staggered silence.

I was astounded that Kakarot didn't attack the woman for that. Rather, he carelessly extricated himself from her grasp and IT'd her away.

The mere minutes he was gone were an eternity. What was he saying to her? Had she… had she managed to _seduce_ him? Had I not been enough this entire time and a taste of his old love had snapped him out of whatever had been possessing him to stay with me?

Kakarot returned shortly, putting my worries to rest. His expression remained calm, but I could read his thoughts; and they were _furious._

I could sense he was about to snap and start shouting or blowing things up any second. I could hear a snarl building in his throat.

"Shh, Kakarot. It's okay. I know you need to vent your anger, just don't do it here."

I glanced at Tess and the demis, who were still at the table, out of earshot of any of the goings on.

My mate's hair flickered to gold for a split second, and a streak of lightning skittered across his body. The chained up emotion was leaking through, evident in his near-meeting enraged eyebrows and pronounced snarl.

I took his hand, "Teleport somewhere, anywhere. Gohan will look after the kids."

He nodded rigidly once and vanished along with me.

We reappeared on the beaten-up island we'd been sparring on a while back. The surf was pounding the shore with the high tide, and the huge cracks in the land gave evidence to the chaos that had reigned here.

The _minute_ we rematerialized, Kakarot leapt into the sky in a whirl of lightning and energy, shooting to Super Saiyan three in an instant and rocketing away. I knew he'd be back, but he didn't want to take out the worst of his fury when he was so close to me. A round of explosions on the other side of the uninhabited island further proved my point. I stayed put, waiting for him to return.

The ground shook with a final, enormous ki blast that destroyed half the island; and Kakarot slowly came back to me, drenched in sweat and panting.

"Better?" I asked.

"Not quite," he exhaled. I caught the glint in his turquoise eyes – he was at the first level of Super Saiyan now, not quite so deadly, but still possessing an incredible amount of energy.

I sighed, "I thought we weren't going to -"

"I don't care." Kakarot cut me off.

"Yes you do, you're just angry."

"And for damn good reason!"

"Yes, but if we lose the baby because you couldn't calm down; we're going to be in serious trouble and you'll never forgive yourself."

I remembered how he'd been when he thought Bulma was trying to steal me. This was worse.

"I asked Bulma about it last night and she said there was no connection between intercourse and miscarriage," he snapped impatiently, "So close your mouth before I bite it off."

Damn. That was intense.

He cornered me against a cliff before I could put up another protest.

"ChiChi doesn't know how to kiss," he growled, "_This_ is how it's done."

With that, his heated lips enveloped mine and he dove inside with his talented tongue and slickened sharp teeth. Any repercussions vanished from my mind. Nothing could be wrong with this.

'_Bitch,'_ I heard him snarl in his mind, '_She's such a godsdamn bitch,'_

I stroked his currently golden tail, causing the fur to fluff out.

'_Hush. It's not important anymore.'_

He deliberately brushed against me, rubbing like an animal claiming territory, marking me with his scent. His sinfully addictive mouth devoured my own, while one hand pleasured the mark on my shoulder.

'_You're insatiable, Kakarot.'_ I muttered mentally, bending one leg over his thigh.

'_I know. And you love it.'_ he responded, moving his hips against mine.

Very true.

'_I promise I won't hurt you,'_ he vowed, taking handfuls of spandex shirt in his fists and rending the entire garment in half. I took in a hissing breath as my chest was exposed to the air.

"I trust you," I murmured.

He smirked, "Good."

'_There are no people for miles, so you can scream as loud as you want,'_ he said seductively, scrubbing his tail fur against mine.

'_I don't –'_ I began to protest, but Kakarot did _something_ with his hand and my mark that made me cry out sharply.

"Whatever you say," he snickered.

Next thing I knew, he'd removed both his pants and mine and had hooked one of my legs impossibly over his shoulder. I felt skin stretch in ways it was not supposed to and winced slightly.

He had already wetted his erection and slid into me slowly; the low groan in his throat morphing into a purr as he claimed my lips again. Any discomfort was quickly melting, and I moved with him; feeling my back pressing against the cliff wall until it gradually gave way.

"I love you," Kakarot promised, moving away from the cliff to hold me to his chest, "And _only_ you."

I felt him pressing tantalizingly against the sensitivity of my G-spot and whimper that didn't even sound like it came from me escaped my lips.

In the same instant that he obliged me and sank in once, twice, deeper, faster, harder; I lunged forward and sank my teeth into his mark. He returned the favor eagerly and we both slammed into completion in the same moment.

The resulting dual scream echoed across the island, but there wasn't another living being around for miles and miles.

TBC

((_Crappy ending. Too short of a sex scene. But it's past midnight and I need to sleep because tomorrow's Tuesday. So… deal with it. _

_-Shinsun))_


	42. Chapter 42

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 42

Stolen time ticked by much too quickly. Kakarot and I stayed on that beaten up island for a while, shutting out the world and just standing twined together, purring as the choppy sea threw salty spray at us from the shore.

"Gods," Kakarot murmured, holding me tighter, as if trying to melt us into one being so we'd never be apart, "I just… I'm so in love with you I can't stand it…"

I said nothing, nuzzling his chest gently. He knew how I felt, and I didn't need words to express it.

The moment lasted a second and an eternity. I wished I could stay there, and never have to worry about anything again.

Kakarot looked up slowly, the ocean wind tossing his ebon hair, "The sun's setting,"

I glanced at the orange sky and shrugged, "So what?"

"Vegeta," he said quietly, touching his forehead to mine, "We can't just stay here."

"I know," I sighed, taking his wrist so that he could teleport us home.

X

Night fell, and Gohan left to go on a date with his girlfriend. Goten and Trunks were at Capsule Corp for a sleepover – don't ask me why, that's just what Bulma planned – so only the three pure-blooded Saiyans were in the house tonight.

Tesserot had gone to bed an hour ago, and Kakarot and I simply sat together, talking quietly of simpler times and simpler pleasures. I was just about to call it a night and go to bed when I heard a smash coming from across the hall.

Kakarot leapt to his feet in the instant I did.

"That came from Tess's room!" he said urgently.

Already my mind was piecing together the worst scenarios; a robber, a mass murderer, a wild animal, about to attack my defenseless son.

We reached the child's room in two point eight seconds, and the evidence of disaster was plain to see.

The entire front wall of the room had been destroyed, providing a clear view of the forest outside; and the floor was littered with rubble and other such debris. Tesserot was gone.

I was about to start scanning the forest for a fleeing intruder, but Kakarot very suddenly shoved me to the ground and shielded me as if from an explosion.

"Get down!" he commanded.

I struggled out from under him and he blocked my way.

"Why?" I demanded.

"Just… trust me… just don't look at the moon!" he said shakily.

Realization flooded through me, "The full moon," I breathed. Oh gods, the moonlight must have shown right through Tess's window and he… he had his tail….

"Shit, Kakarot, I have to go after him!"

Kakarot stared, "Are you _insane?_ We both have tails too, and if we… if we transform the planet might not survive!"

I noticed he said "we".

I shook my head, "You'll stay here. I've at least got some control over it, remember?"

I remembered when we'd first met and I'd attacked him as Oozaru. I'd been fully aware and even capable of speech and coherent thought…. But I wondered how much of that careful training I'd retained over the years.

The saccade of Kakarot's eyes was distressed, "No way. Either neither of us go, or both of us."

"No." I said firmly, "Under no circumstances are you to follow me. I'll bring Tess back, but I don't want you to leave this room."

He still looked defiant, but I had no more time to waste. Sure, my son was in the form of a huge, mindless ape right now, but I still felt like he was a child, lost and alone and scared.

Before I could change my mind, I dashed out under the moon's full glow, shielding my eyes as long as I could until I had to open them to see which direction I was running. I heard an explosion and a roar in the distance. At least I knew where Tess was.

I glanced up at the moon, a perfect silver disk overhead. I was going to transform either way, I might as well get a look at it first. Thoughts were emptied from my mind as the light entered my eyes. I tried desperately to keep hold of them, but the sensation of muscle tone tripling and thick fur sprouting were enough to take my mind off the task at hand.

It had been so long; I'd almost forgotten the maddening glow of the moon, the overpowering urge to destroy, and the… the animalistic glee of it all. Fangs filled my lengthening muzzle and my hands morphed into paws. I was towering over the trees, a far cry from my usual diminutive size.

I struggled to maintain my consciousness and keep my goal in the forefront of my mind. Get Tesserot. Bring him back home. Get him safe.

I heard an echoing roar nearby and my sensitive nose picked up the smell of another, younger Oozaru than myself. I followed the scent, running on four legs for speed. To my surprise, I nearly crashed into an ape that was as big – if not bigger – than me, with dark black fur all over and a distinct scent that had been overlapped with the feral scent of Oozaru.

I recalled my ability to speak quite suddenly.

"Kakarot! I told you not to -!" I shouted, my voice deep and guttural.

The black Oozaru turned and swiped at me with one huge paw, apparently thinking me a threat.

That idiot. I swear, the simplest of directions were lost on him.

"Kakarot, stop! We need to find Tesserot, remember?"

He just snarled angrily, showing long, white fangs.

Obviously words weren't going to get through to him. He wasn't an elite Saiyan and therefore had no control over his thoughts while he was like this. His mind was reduced to the simplest things; anger, hunger, scent….

An idea came to me. At least a way to get his attention. I swished my tail, stirring up the air and moving my scent towards him. I tuned the scent to carry the most primal message in the world; the desire to mate.

Immediately, Kakarot snapped to attention, his huge nostrils flaring as he took in the smell. I wasn't sure how well this would work, but finding Tess was my top priority and I'd do what I had to in order to accomplish that.

Something sparked in the black ape's great red eyes. Maybe recognition, maybe animalistic lust. One way or the other, I had his attention.

_Body language,_ I reminded myself; since he clearly didn't understand words.

I kept my head high, letting him know I was calling the shots here, keeping my tail aloft as well and flicking it from side to side. I closed my jaws with a snap, the teeth cracking together. The message was this; _You do as I say, no arguments._

I expected Kakarot to challenge this claim and possibly attack me again, but to my surprise he crouched low and dipped his head, his tail almost touching the ground; _As you wish._

I was slightly perplexed. With the virtual aphrodisiac I'd fanned at him, he should be charged with testosterone and be assaulting me. Why did he…?

I remembered suddenly what my father had told me about Saiyans and great ape form. Rank was very important. Elite Saiyans held all control and kept the lesser warriors in their place. My scent –whether supercharged with sensual intent or not - made it very clear who held the higher rank.

I flicked my tail once; _follow me._

The black Oozaru's ears flicked assent and he stood straighter, growling slightly in his throat.

Not too far away, a copse of trees were smashed down with a loud crash, and a rising of dust and fleeing birds.

I lead Kakarot to the source of the crash, finding the culprit in a clearing of destruction. A dark brown, much smaller ape, baring its teeth and snarling wildly. Behind the aura of rage and madness, there was an air of confusion emanating from the creature. And fear.

I bolted to the smaller ape's side and checked him over for injuries – actually very difficult to do with such large paws – growling my relief between my fangs as I found none.

The Oozaru child snarled and struggled against me, flailing and roaring; even biting me at some point with peg-like fangs. I didn't relent my grip on his shoulder and dragged him amid his struggling over to where I'd left his father. I was the only one with two cents worth of thought in my head right now, and I had to get them _both_ to safety where we could wait for the moon to set. I discarded the plan of returning to the house. There was no way we'd all fit and it would probably get destroyed again.

I located a cave at the base of one of the mountains, and managed to herd the two – one huge, one not so huge – Oozarus over to it; albeit with much snarling and protesting.

I snapped my jaws at them once we reached the entrance, giving them both the same command.

Two pairs of narrow, red eyes looked at me, then at each other – I knew they didn't recognize one another, not now, but the exchanged glance between them was a start.

Fitting three Oozarus into one cave is no easy feat, but in the end, the three of us were scrunched inside, a mass of fur and fang with me in between father and son to keep them from attacking each other.

We watched the moon sink lower in the sky, unable to hide from its glow. In an attempt to diffuse the tension, I started purring; a much lower, rumbling sound that vibrated in my broad chest.

To my surprise, I heard a deeper growl that might have been a purr coming from Kakarot and a lighter trilling sound from Tess. I supposed that was a peace offering, and as the three of us lay down in one big furry heap, I couldn't help thinking that this whole episode could have gone a lot worse.

TBC

_((Short chapter. But that's all I really wanted to write, so…))_


	43. Chapter 43

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 43

In the months that followed, Tesserot and I both grew bigger – in different ways of course – and the huge hole in Kakarot's house was fixed with the help of the demis. To ensure that the Oozaru incident wouldn't happen again, Kakarot put in some curtains that could turn the room pitch black and block out the moon entirely. Similar precautions were taken with our own bedroom – better safe than sorry – and we both resolved to watch the calendar a bit more carefully. With all the altercations being made, Gohan suggested we upgrade Tess's crib to an actual bed since he'd learned to climb the bars and get out of it anyway. Of course, Tess was very enthusiastic about it, and he had a much easier time slipping into his parents' bed when he got lonely or scared now. This irritated Kakarot more than it did me, and when I asked him why, he said he never got two seconds alone with me anymore; and even less time alone period. With his usually extraverted nature, I was surprised to hear this, and wasn't sure how I could fix the situation short of locking the door at night.

It snowed on the first day of December. Maybe "snowed" is too passive a word. It was a blizzard. With Kakarot's home being so close to the mountains, the risk of avalanche was also present, so I suppose we were lucky we got a shitload of the white stuff instead. As long as I can remember since being on Earth, I'd always spent winter at Capsule Corp, where the streets and sidewalks were shoveled routinely. It was… interesting to see how Kakarot had been roughing it his entire life, out here where you had to travel forty miles for a glimpse of a snow blower.

Another thing I learned was that Gohan's idea of hot chocolate was something of legendary around here. With the older demi snowed in with the rest of us, he had to put up with his younger brothers pestering him until he gave in and made enough of it to satisfy them. And for good reason. I thought I was familiar with the human custom of heating water and mixing it with chocolate powder and marshmallows…. but I swear, Gohan must have gotten a recipe from the gods or something because his hot chocolate was _to die for._

Once the weather had cleared some, Goten and Trunks were the first to rocket outside and attack the untouched blanket of white with childish delight. Trunks was almost fourteen and even _he_ was out there rolling in the snow like a little kid. I decided Tess should join them in their fun, and apparently I'd created a monster, because the _minute_ the child got out there he went completely nuts. A spectacular snowball fight and several hours of insanity later, the three kids tracked a mess of snow inside with pink cheeks and cold toes; totally out of breath and laughing contentedly.

Gohan rounded them up with the promise – or should I say _bribe_ – of some famous hot chocolate and a story, and once the puddles of melted snow had been cleaned off the floor, I allowed myself to relax.

I was sitting before the fire Kakarot had lit in the fireplace, reading one of the books Bulma had given me a while back, when my mate snuck up on me.

"What do you want, Kakarot?" I pretended to be annoyed, when I was really just curious.

"Well I was thinking…" he said slyly, "Why let the kids have all the fun?"

I narrowed my eyes and set down my book, "What are you playing at?"

"There's still four or five solid feet of snow out there that's begging to be exploited," he hinted with a grin, "And I know a spot in the woods that would make a great _battlefield."_

Holy gods, he was actually serious. I'd like to hit him with a snowball just to get the self-pleased smirk off his face. Then again, he _had_ issued a challenge; and what kind of Saiyan would I be if I could turn it down?

"Fine," I muttered, "I'm game."

I stood and stretched the ache out of my back; I might have been pregnant, but I still had a Saiyan metabolism.

Turns out, Kakarot was right. A clearing in the forest proved to be a very strategic location, and I glanced around initially, looking for advantages that could be useful in this "battle".

"Okay," I said carefully, straightening one of my gloves, "So what are the rules of this game?"

Kakarot grinned, "You're down; you're out, every man for himself….. to the death."

I caught the teasing spark in his eyes as he said this.

"And the victor is rewarded with….?" I prompted.

He said nothing, but the mental image he sent me was enough to convince me that whether he beat me or not, both of us won.

"Go!" Kakarot shouted; and just like that, he vanished.

Cheater. I took my bearings and darted behind an oak tree. I was quick to realize that my battle gloves were useless to guard against the cold snow, but their traction did make a nice, round snowball.

I saw a flash of movement out of the corner of my eye and threw the snowball as hard as I could. I missed my mark and the spherical weapon died a valiant death against the trunk of a tree. I leapt into a battle stance as I was almost hit by a similar ball of compacted snow aimed at my head. I had to dodge several more before sculpting my own ammunition. Another snowball with a wicked velocity almost hit me in the face, and I took to the sky and hid in the branches of a tree, concealing my ki signature. I waited patiently, my breath clouding in front of my face.

I watched Kakarot rematerialize below the tree I hid in. He followed the tracks my boots had made in the snow, looking confused. He stopped where the trail ended, where the backlash of ki I'd made when I took off had left a jagged imprint in the snow. I noticed he was unarmed. He looked up slowly, an expression of comprehension dawning hilariously; and I shot out of the tree with a Saiyan battle cry, pelting the snowball I had clenched in my fist for a direct hit right in his face.

He growled ferociously and wiped the slush out of his eyes, but I was already gone. Faster than the eye could see, he grabbed a fistful of snow and vanished, reappearing _directly_ in front of me and throwing his own snowball, which hit me point blank in the jaw.

"How did you -?" I began incredulously as the cold wetness dripped down my shirt.

"Shouldn't have gone upwind," he smirked, tapping the side of his nose, and teleported again.

Crap, he could smell me. Now I knew how prey animals felt when a hunter was on the loose. He could strike from anywhere, anytime, since he could travel at the speed of light.

I gathered an arsenal of snowballs and waited, not bothering to hide again. I heard laughter and barely had time to dodge before three snowballs implanted themselves around me. Those would have hit me head-on if I hadn't moved; Kakarot's aim was deadly. I saw the flash of a blue gi shirt, the tip of a black tail, the toe of a boot, but never enough to get a clear shot. He was toying with me, just like he would if we were sparring for real. Well, I couldn't outrun him; I'd have to out-think him.

I marked a tree with my scent by brushing my tail against it, moved downwind slightly, and ducked behind a thick shrub, as he'd expect me to do. Abandoning the decoy hiding place, I masked my scent by hiding in the branches of a pine tree nearby. The trap was set.

As I expected, Kakarot walked right up to the tree I'd marked with a cocky shake of his head, '_Nice try,_' I read his thoughts as he confidently moved downwind to the bush I'd used as a decoy.

"Gotcha!" he shouted, pouncing on the shrub.

He looked perplexed to find it deserted.

"No you don't," I said smoothly, and dropped out of the tree, knocking him to the ground amid a flurry of snowballs; he face-planted with a startled yelp.

I remained sitting on him as he struggled futilely, waiting for him to give up.

"Okay," he surrendered, laughing as I flicked him with my tail, purring victoriously, "Okay, you win, now get off of me."

"Hmm," I said thoughtfully, "No, I don't think I will."

Growling teasingly, he wriggled out from under me and sat in the snow, winded from exertion and still laughing breathlessly. His cheeks were flushed with the cold and his bangs were matted with sweat and melted snow. In a word, my mate was adorable.

"Kakarot," I panted, "That was actually…. fun."

"Yeah, but you were totally terrified," he chuckled, "I bet you literally thought it _was_ to the death."

"Speak for yourself," I grumbled, "That wasn't a snowball fight, that was war."

He stood, dusting snow from his pants, and offered a hand to help me up. I accepted the gesture; then took off my gloves to rub feeling back into my numb fingers. Kakarot's were the worse for wear; he hadn't even worn gloves. He blew into his hands to warm them, but it didn't seem to help.

I took his larger hands in my own and met his gaze, "I won, so I'll take my reward."

He dipped his head in acknowledgement, "As you wish, Your Highness."

I brought his face down to mine and kissed him, flowing ki through our joined hands to warm them. He sent the ki back, breathing it into me and amplifying the warmth. The exchange continued thus until we had both forgotten the cold. Not even Gohan's hot chocolate compared to the heat of my mate's body close to mine and the sweet taste of his lips, even sweeter than the saccharine taste of victory.

TBC


	44. Chapter 44

_((Copyright issues. The term "tasan" belongs to Pixelgoddess (as far as I know) as does most of the concept to begin with. So no, I didn't make that up, but she might have. Just saying.))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 44

"Kakarot, stop…." I commanded breathlessly. My mate stopped teasing the mark on my shoulder and blinked at me confusedly. I'd never refused before, ever; so it must have seemed strange to him that I would now when we were here tangled together like this.

Once the moment had passed, Kakarot dipped his head and ran his tongue along the mark heedlessly.

I winced as the scar throbbed painfully and sat up with a growl, "I said stop it!"

He tilted his head to the side, looking either irritated or disappointed, "Why?"

I shook off the mingled concern and annoyance he was giving off and looked away, "It hurts… I don't know why but it does."

His dark eyebrows furrowed, "Just your mark, or all of you?"

"Just… just the mark."

I felt his ki swing with relief, "Good," he said breezily, "Then I can still do this," he turned my head to the side and attempted to kiss me; his effort was without success as I pulled away sharply.

"Cut it out," I snapped, "I'm not in the mood."

The moderate irritation I'd sensed before spiked momentarily, "But you're _always_ in the mood,"

"Well I'm not right now, so just drop it." I muttered, lying down with a huff and closing my eyes.

I felt his gaze on me, and decidedly ignored whatever signal he was trying to give.

Eventually, he lay back as well, folding his arms behind his head and flicking his tail dismissively, "Whatever."

I could tell he was still pulsing with lust that needed an outlet, but he wouldn't try anything without my permission.

I thought hard until my head hurt, running the same line of thought through my mind again and again.

"It's been two years hasn't it?" I mumbled, turning over to meet my mate's eye.

"Two years? Since what?"

"Since I got pregnant the first time… since we mated."

He blinked slowly; I could almost hear him doing the math in his head, "Just about, why?"

I sighed audibly, "That explains it."

"Explains what? You're not making any sense," Kakarot muttered, punching his pillow into a more comfortable shape.

"Saiyan tradition," I said bluntly, "Saiyan lore states that a mated pair has to make their bond official after two years together and gain the approval of their parents or guardians."

Kakarot snorted, "Fucking impossible, they're dead."

I flinched slightly at his bitter tone, but went on, "I don't think it was absolutely mandatory; but the ritual made its way into tradition to stop unapproved mating from running rampant and to keep the scandal to a minimum. Apparently my mark is causing me discomfort and killing my libido because we haven't been 'authorized' to be mated."

"So what are we supposed to do?" he growled, "Raise the dead?"

I looked at him for a long moment.

"Kakarot, I think you might accidentally be a genius."

He smirked, "Only accidentally?"

"Hush." I swished my tail once to silence him, "Remember the Budokai tournament where the gods brought you back to Earth for one day? Just before we fought Majin Buu?"

"Yeah," he said briskly, "But that would never work. What, are you suggesting we go ask King Yemma to bring back our dads for a day? Not likely."

I shrugged, "He let me come back too, remember? Otherwise we couldn't have fused back then."

"Right, but the world was in crisis at the time. Bringing two essentially evil Saiyans to Earth just so they can give us permission to be together – which we are _not_ likely to get – is just… it's ridiculous."

"'Not likely to get'?" I echoed, ignoring the rest of his argument, "Why not?"

He almost laughed, but definitely not because the situation was funny.

"If you haven't noticed, I'm a third-class, you're a prince. We're not even in the same _league_ as each other, and the balance of power is flip-flopped because I'm dominant instead of you. Not to mention we're both male, which would make our relationship homosexual in the books, unless we're going to get technical and say you're a hermaphrodite; does your father even _know_ you can get pregnant? I didn't think so. Plus, I haven't even ever _met_ my father…." He trailed off, his voice becoming almost sad, "But I don't think he was a very nice guy."

He paused for breath, his ki low with disappointment.

I pushed his bangs out of his face so I could see his eyes. I could have sworn he was crying, but he wasn't.

"What's wrong?" I asked carefully.

"Nothing, everything, I don't know." he muttered dejectedly.

I hesitated; then hugged him gently.

"I just want to tell the whole world that you're my mate," he said into my shirt, "Except _one_ person, and that's the one person whose permission I apparently need."

"Kakarot," I said slowly, he looked at me and I continued, "I'm not sure what the customs of two human men being together is; but for Saiyans it's practically normal. There were a lot less females on Vegeta-sei than there were males, so we didn't have a whole lot of choice. Also, the term _hermaphrodite_ wasn't used for people like me. The word we used was _tasan,_ and they were among the most revered of all Saiyans, especially if they could successfully bear children, which I've proved I can. And as for rank, I think any parent would be proud that their son is a Super Saiyan, not to mention a Super Saiyan three. So it wouldn't really matter that you're a low class and I'm not."

"Oh." He mumbled, "I guess you're right."

"I think we should ask King Yemma if we _can_ bring them back for one day_._ It's worth a shot; and if we can, we'll try, if we can't, screw it."

He smiled briefly and lay my head on his chest, running his fingers through my hair and purring.

"I don't care if they don't approve," he muttered, "I'm not stepping down just because daddy says no."

I chuckled at the image that brought to mind, "That was usually the case on Vegeta-sei anyway. An unbreakable bond isn't easily swayed by permission."

X

"You want me to _what?"_ Yemma bellowed, making the very floor shake with the power of his voice.

Kakarot winced at the volume on his sensitive hearing, and I joined him in that, but he stood firm.

"I asked if it was possible to bring back two souls from Hell for one day. Like you brought me back for the World Tournament."

"Goku, why in the gods names would you want to do that?" the giant demanded, "Those people are _evil,_ have you finally gone insane?"

I noted his use of the world "finally" and hid a smirk.

"I'm not asking for Frieza or anyone," Kakarot consoled, "Relax, I know what I'm doing."

"But _why -?"_

"I'm sure you're aware that Vegeta and I have been mates for two years," Kakarot said calmly.

Yemma's gaze landed on me almost disapprovingly; but whether this was because he didn't particularly like Kakarot's choice in a mate or because he didn't particularly like me standing on his sacred carpet, I wasn't certain.

"Yes," the king muttered after a moment.

"Well, we need to bring back our fathers just for a day, so we can make it official."

Yemma's huge, black eyebrows rose slowly, "Let me get this straight," he said flatly, "You want me to revive two evil souls… _just_ so they can carry out some kind of ritual of matrimony?"

"Yep." Kakarot nodded.

"What is this universe coming to?" the giant sighed, "First people can just be _wished_ back willy-nilly with those blasted dragonballs, then a lawfully _dead_ person can come back for one day while _still _being dead, and then the gates of Hell can be unlocked just so a pair of Saiyans can be married?"

"It's not _marriage,_" I muttered irritatedly, "That's a human term, and we're _not _human."

"So I've noticed," Yemma said shortly, barely meeting my eye.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"So….." Kakarot pried, "Can you do it?"

"No." King Yemma snapped, "It's against the laws of nature, and the laws of the dead. We do have rules, Goku, much as you like to ignore, bend, and _break_ them."

"Oh, come on," Kakarot reproached, "Please?"

"No. My word is final, now get out of here."

Kakarot switched to Super Saiyan – and I say "switched" because it was hardly a transformation, just a change of color – and leapt onto the great giant's enormous desk.

"I'm asking as your equal," he said dangerously, "Need I remind you of the debt you owe us?"

If possible, the horned king paled slightly. I'd never thought of Kakarot as intimidating to the _gods, _but I supposed if the two of them were to fight, it would be a…. _decisive_ battle. I felt a rush of instinctive pride in my mate; both at his level of power that was far above mine and his level of nerve to challenge the king of the gods. Hell, he was but a fraction of the behemoth's size, and yet he practically had Yemma cringing.

"V-very well," the king said eventually, "But only because without you two that monster Buu would still be running around spreading universal chaos; _not_ because I'm in the least bit daunted by you, Goku."

"Yeah," Kakarot muttered, almost too quietly to hear, "Only the prospect of fighting me."

"Watch it, hotshot, or I'll lock you in my desk." Yemma threatened swiftly, "Now, what are the names of the souls I'm allegedly bringing back?"

"Bardock and King Vegeta," Kakarot recited easily. I decided the air was safe and joined him where he stood on Yemma's desk; earning me a glare from the huge red giant, but nothing more.

"Right, I remember them. Wiped out by Frieza, yes?"

Kakarot and I nodded in tandem.

"I think I have their files in here somewhere," an enormous plastic binder appeared out of thin air and the giant began thumbing through a myriad of files, muttering to himself.

'_Piece of cake,'_ Kakarot said to me, '_All you have to do is coerce this guy and he'll do whatever you want.'_

'_I always said you treated the gods like slaves,'_ I conceded, '_But he's right, you know. And I'd watch my tail if I were you, lest it gets torn off.'_

He shrugged carelessly and stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Ah, here we are." Yemma announced, setting two gigantic sheets of weathered paper on his desk, "Now, I'll just sort out the paperwork and send Baba to you when I've got it in order. Then we can arrange a day for these two to visit Earth; sound fair?"

I noticed he was being very polite suddenly. It might have been the pair of narrow turquoise eyes Kakarot had fixed him with, or it might have been my imagination.

"Fair enough, Your Majesty," Kakarot said coolly, "Thanks for your time."

It was like a pair of politicians that didn't quite trust each other conversing. Common courtesy and grudging respect evident in word and deed.

X

The woman Bulma came by the next day, saying that I needed a once-over since it was the end of the fourth month of pregnancy, and therefore the first trimester was over.

While Gohan watched Tess and the demis – as it had become his duty to be babysitter nowadays – the woman performed a series of tests and examined me to be sure everything was going smoothly.

No ultrasound this time; in fact, she hadn't used that equipment at all as of yet. I think it was because it was less of a mystery now than it was the first time, and she essentially understood how a Saiyan pregnancy worked.

I can't remember if it was Kakarot or me that let slip about the ritual to finalize the mating bond, but the woman pounced on it like a cat.

"So basically, you're getting married?"

Damn, I hated that word. It brought to mind flowers and dresses and other prissy crap that made me nauseous just to think about.

"No," I said sharply, "It's not a _wedding,_ woman. So erase that thought from your mind this instant."

Kakarot laughed, and tried unsuccessfully to hide it with a cough.

"Yes, Bulma," he contradicted me once he'd settled his mirth, "It's basically a ceremony like that, and you're welcome to come and take notes, but if you take a leaf out of ChiChi's book and try to get me in a suit, I may have to shoot you with a Kamehameha wave. Clear?"

Bulma brightened, "Sure. It'll be fascinating to see Saiyan tradition at work; I'd be glad to come."

Always the scientist attitude with her these days.

'_Kakarot I thought it was just going to be us.'_ I muttered mentally.

'_It will be.'_ he promised, '_But Bulma can come too, she won't mess anything up.'_

'_Sure,'_ I said sarcastically, '_Then you'll invite the demis, and the scarred idiot, and the old pervert, and the planet's entire populous. I know you, Kakarot.'_

'_Hey, I wouldn't do anything to make you uncomfortable. You know that.'_

I almost smiled, '_I don't know, it takes a lot to make me uncomfortable these days.'_

He raised an eyebrow, '_Oh, really?'_

Right then and there, he grabbed my hand and got down on one knee; right in front of Bulma.

The woman jumped, gasped, and then - predictably – giggled. I felt heat crawling up my face and decided to ignore it. To my slight surprise, Kakarot's expression wasn't teasing, but completely serious; his eyes riveted on mine.

"Prince of All Saiyans, Vegeta-san," he uttered honestly, his black gaze intense, "Would you accept the honor of being my sanctioned mate? In life and death, from this moment until forever comes to an end?"

How in the unholy, bloody inferno of Hell did he know those exact consecrated words? It was like he was reciting from the past, and he'd never even _heard_ them spoken. I'd only witnessed a Saiyan proposal once in my life, and I was eight at the time. It was entirely different if it was actually _directed at me._

"Can you say yes so I can get up?" Kakarot said awkwardly, totally ruining the moment.

"Yes," I fought the urge to roll my eyes for the sake of the circumstances, "Of course, Kakarot."

He stood fluidly and captured my lips without breaking stride. I ignored the woman's curious gaze and just obliged him for a moment, emptying my mind in favor of enjoying the unexpected and surprisingly romantic moment.

Kakarot released me after a minute or so and stood away slightly.

'_How did you know? What to say, I mean…'_ I asked.

'_Your memories are mine too, remember?'_

"Wow," Bulma said after a moment, "I never thought you were one for romance, Goku, and you proved me damn wrong."

X

We'd hardly sat down to breakfast – "we" including Bulma, as she'd stayed the night – when the old floating-on-a-ball woman Baba showed up and informed us that Yemma had gotten the transaction sorted and he wanted to speak to us. Gohan asked about a zillion questions, which we were forced to respond honestly to, and the older demi ended up being allowed to show up to the ritual as well. Of course, Goten and Trunks didn't really care and Tess was too young to understand, but still….

"That was fast," Kakarot remarked, "I didn't think Yemma would be so diligent about something like that."

"He was probably afraid that if he got it done late he'd piss you off," I muttered, "I can tell he's scared of you."

"Vegeta, don't swear in front of the kids," Gohan scolded.

"You're one to talk," Kakarot retorted, "The fact that you're such a genius just makes your cussing that much more elaborate."

"Oh, and you're the completely swear-free dad that Tess well-and-good deserves?" Bulma joined in, "And let's not forget about Trunks's rapid-fire mode."

The purple-haired demi laughed, but only because it was _that_ true.

"Goku," Baba intoned, interrupting the conversation, "King Yemma's waiting, remember?"

"Right," Kakarot said quickly, getting up and helping me to my feet as well. I didn't really need the assistance, but it was a nice gesture.

"You know," Gohan muttered, "Sometimes you _could_ watch your own offspring instead of dumping them on me."

"You're the oldest offspring, so you're the babysitter," Kakarot said sleekly, and with that he teleported.

X

I was somewhat startled to be greeted by four pairs of curious eyes when we rematerialized at the check-in station in front of King Yemma's huge desk.

The giant himself, King Kai, Bardock and King Vegeta were all assembled in one place – three of the four sporting halos above their heads.

Kakarot blinked nervously, but hid it well.

I wondered at the presence of the blue bug creature King Kai, but I decided not to voice my questions. I curled my tail around my waist defensively though, and noticed Kakarot doing the same.

"Goku, Vegeta," Yemma boomed, "On time, as always."

When you can travel at light speed, it's easy to be punctual.

"Everything is in order?" Kakarot asked carefully, eyeing the two Saiyans before us with something like distrust.

"Not quite," King Kai said shortly, "I still haven't had a say in any of this."

"You don't get a say," King Vegeta muttered haughtily. I was surprised to find that I'd missed the sound of my father's voice, but I had.

"Goku, are you sure about this?" King Kai asked warily.

"Yes," Kakarot nodded with conviction.

"Alright, I trust you." the Kai backed off slowly, but he still looked cautious.

"That takes care of that," Yemma said in his ringing voice, he addressed the pair of haloed Saiyans, "You have twenty-four hours to spend as these two see fit. Be warned, and don't try anything, or you'll be sent right back to Hell on your asses. You're free to go."

As if some invisible force had been lifted, the two deceased warriors took a few tentative steps towards us. I was able to read their body language clearly, and it radiated suspicion.

I could sense Kakarot collecting his nerve, and feel him trembling against me. Whether from excitement or uneasiness, or some combination thereof, I wasn't sure.

My father hesitated when he was within three feet of me, as if sizing me up or something. I did my best to appear as regal as him, but it was hard when my back ached like it did and I wasn't in royal uniform.

"How long has it been?" he asked eventually, his voice deeper than mine and more rasping, "Since I've seen you?"

"Almost…" I swallowed hard and pressed on, "Almost fifty years."

"That long?"

I nodded.

He sighed almost sadly, and then surprised me by placing a hand on my shoulder.

"You've grown up so much, and you've done me proud, my son."

I felt my eyes prick with tears and refused to let them fully form for the sake of pride; mood swings or no, touching moment or no.

I wasn't even aware of how Kakarot was faring when meeting his own sire for the first time, I was only aware of something inside me piecing itself back together with the acceptance my father had given me. He probably didn't know why he was here or that I was pregnant or anything; but he wasn't ashamed of me as I'd dreaded for nearly half a century, and that was enough.

'_Ready to go?'_ Kakarot asked from beside me.

'_Lead on.'_ I conceded, then to my father, "Keep your hand on my shoulder unless you want to be left behind."

I saw the confusion in his jet eyes, but disregarded it and took my mate's hand. Bardock had a hand on his son's shoulder as well, and once everyone was set, Kakarot placed two fingers to his forehead and vanished, taking us with him.

The four of us rematerialized directly in front of Gohan, who was in the clearing where Kakarot and I had engaged in snowball war a while back. Much of the white stuff had melted since then – temporarily, since it was clearly still winter – and the demi and Bulma were the only ones there, as I'd instructed Gohan to send the younger children to Capsule Corp for the day to be watched by Bulma's parents.

"Everything go okay?" Gohan asked.

"Yeah," Kakarot nodded; then turned somewhat nervously to his father, "This is my eldest son, Gohan."

"A grandson?" Bardock asked perplexedly, "But how -?"

"I'm only half-Saiyan," Gohan said humbly, "It's an honor to meet you, Grandfather."

Bardock's eyes narrowed slightly, but he nodded and shook the demi's hand.

Bulma shot forward instantly and said, "My name's Bulma and I'm a human woman. It's my pleasure to welcome you both to Earth."

I wanted to slap her, but I restrained myself.

"Earth, you say?" Bardock inquired, "Weren't you supposed to annihilate this planet's inhabitants, Kakarot?"

Kakarot shifted awkwardly, "Uh…about that…."

"This planet has become our current residence since Vegeta-sei was destroyed," I explained, being careful not to use the word "home" as it might offend rather than clarify.

"Ah." Bardock said shortly, "It's not _too_ ugly, I suppose. Nice, quiet atmosphere."

'_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea,'_ Kakarot said to me.

'_Oh, relax,'_ I responded.

King Vegeta cleared his throat, "Care to explain exactly why we were sent here?"

"Well," I began, suddenly self-conscious, "In recent years, after the overall violence of the universe had calmed, I found I had uh… formed an alliance with the last living Saiyan apart from myself," I shot a meaningful glance at Kakarot, "More recently, that alliance became a friendship, and then an…. affair. And two years ago, we were mated."

My father waited for me to finish before responding at all, but Bardock had pinched the bridge of his nose exasperatedly with a sigh once he'd realized where the explanation was going. Not a very promising sign.

"So you're telling me that you fell for a third-class soldier when I brought you up as a prince?" King Vegeta asked. How did he manage a question like that without a drop of spite? Maybe it was implied.

"Um… yes." I said boldly, "but –"

"Out of everyone in the universe, you chose him?" the king interrupted. I noted that Gohan and Bulma were standing rather awkwardly while this conversation unfolded. I hoped the conversation wouldn't become an argument.

I nodded unapologetically and held the two older Saiyan's gazes until they looked away.

My father didn't respond as I expected him to. He didn't sneer, he didn't even say "so be it" and leave, but he fixed Kakarot with an almost admiring look.

"Well, there must be something damn special about you then, Kakarot, since my son chose to claim you."

There was a detail that I had to clear up _now_, or else cause a huge misunderstanding. Even if it might mess up the friendliness my father was currently giving my mate.

"_He_ claimed _me."_ I said quietly.

The king and Bardock blinked simultaneously, then whipped around and shouted in perfect unison, "_What?!"_

'_Oh…. gods, here we go,'_ Kakarot muttered to me in his mind. Now he had to explain why he was the dominant one in the relationship, which would eventually lead to them figuring out I was pregnant.

"He let me," Kakarot said tactfully to the shocked Saiyans, "I didn't ask for it, or deceive him in any way. That's just how it worked out."

This was all so much easier to explain in my head. I'd planned how I was going to phrase everything, but it was a lot harder to actually say it.

It was Bardock's turn to surprise me. He stared for a good three seconds, and then started laughing.

Kakarot seemed hurt by his father's amusement; probably afraid he was going to mock him. And he was correct in this.

"No, no, no, this it too good," Bardock chuckled, and it took me a moment to realize he wasn't actually talking to either of us, but to my father, "So the _last two Saiyans_ in the _universe_ end up together, and the younger, weaker, _third-class_ of the two ends up on top. That is hilarious, seriously, _uke Vegeta,_ who would've thought?"

And to my shock, my own father joined the other Saiyan in his mirth, smirking slightly and looking down at me almost condescendingly.

I think I was blushing furiously, and I wasn't sure why I was getting angry. I soon realized I wasn't the only one.

"Stop it!" Kakarot snapped, "I might be a third-class, but I've more than earned my role as dominant."

'_Kakarot, be careful,'_ I warned. If he offended either one of them too deeply, we would never get their approval.

"Yeah?" King Vegeta challenged, "Well then, third-class. Prove it."

Whatever they were expecting, it was _not_ for Kakarot to turn Super Saiyan right in front of them. Gohan, Bulma and I had enough foresight to shield our eyes, but the two deceased Saiyans had no such luck, and were practically blinded by the near-violent aura of gold pouring from my mate. He shot to the second level with ease and reached the third; rivers of thick, blonde hair reaching his knees and a power level high enough to destroy a solar system easily. It was a shame our fathers didn't have scouters, so they could grasp the sheer extent to which they'd underestimated Kakarot.

My mate powered down eventually and a moment of ringing silence fell.

"That's right." Kakarot growled, "I'm a Super Saiyan. Vegeta is too. Not only that, but both of us are Ascended Saiyans and I'm a Super Saiyan Three."

To top off this onslaught, Kakarot dropped the final bomb that I'd meant to save for a calmer moment.

"And there's one more thing you should know," he said slickly, "Vegeta's pregnant with our second son."

TBC

_((Dun dun dun! Long chapter. And yes, the second baby is another boy, which we now know thanks to Goku's ability to sense the gender early-on. Chapter 45 coming soon, I love you guys!_

_-Shinsun))_


	45. Chapter 45

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 45

The silence lasted way too long. I could almost feel the confusion, shock, and mounting disapproval pulsing from the two haloed Saiyans, and it made my heart sink slightly. All I wanted was for my father to accept me and my choice in a partner. Now he might not accept either.

Kakarot crossed his arms over his chest defiantly and waited, watching our fathers struggle internally. Eventually, he just snarled impatiently and took my hand.

"Come on, Vegeta; we're not going to get a blessing from anyone here. Let's just go back to King Yemma and tell him to send these old corpses back to Hell."

I was tempted to agree; it would be a hell of a lot easier to just walk away. But there was still a chance to resolve this, so I shook my head and stayed put.

Bardock was the first to break the silence, and he didn't say what I'd expected him to.

"_Second_ son?" he sounded more disbelieving than angry.

Kakarot nodded obstinately, "Technically my fourth, but only the second that's both of ours."

Gohan looked from his father to his grandfather and back.

"You're not surprised? That Vegeta can get pregnant?" he asked perplexedly.

Bardock flipped his bangs out of his face carelessly, "Not particularly, why?"

"Well… it's…" Gohan stammered.

"It was uncommon in our bloodline," King Vegeta muttered, "But not impossible."

"And you're not…. ashamed…. of me?" I asked carefully, almost hopefully.

I felt Kakarot's ki twist with pity for me, but he didn't let it show.

"Just… a little startled," the king responded flatly, "And you're really a Super Saiyan?"

I nodded and let my hair flash to gold for a second as proof.

Again, silence reigned.

"What happens now?" Bulma asked quietly. I'd almost forgotten she was there.

King Vegeta sighed and glanced at Kakarot, who raised an eyebrow audaciously.

"You claimed my son?"

"Yes."

"Why?" I had a feeling he would ask that. Skepticism and curiosity kind of ran in the family, and I supposed it was a royalty trait that neither of us was ever satisfied until we got a full explanation.

"Because I love him." Kakarot said stanchly.

The king blinked stubbornly, "Do you even know what that means? You're little but a child."

For a second, Kakarot looked offended, but he covered it skillfully.

"Of course." he said calmly.

The older of the two still looked skeptical for a long moment.

"What exactly are you after?" he asked shrewdly, "In claiming my son, what do you hope to achieve?"

'_He doesn't give anything easily, does he?'_ I heard my mate mutter silently to me.

'_That's his job.'_ I replied simply.

"I just want to give him everything I can, and accept whatever he can give me. And, if I'm lucky, I hope to undo some of the scars that slavery under Frieza has dealt him…and raise a family together." Kakarot said honestly. At first I thought he was just saying what my father wanted to hear, but I searched his feelings and found him to be dead-serious. He meant every word.

There was a short eternity of utter lack of sound. I wanted to say something, anything, to break the silence and the distrustful glares all around; but I had no idea what to say.

"Well, Your Majesty," Bardock addressed my father smoothly, "I think my son's intentions are fair enough; don't you?"

I felt my heart leap with hope.

The king's eyes narrowed a fraction, but he nodded, "Fair enough."

Relief washed through me. We had their approval.

"So… that's it?" Bulma asked after a minute.

"No," I said shortly, "Far from it. That was just the introduction, woman."

"So what now?"

"_You_ aren't even supposed to know." I responded.

"Oh, but it would be so fascinating to see a Saiyan ritual like this!" she pleaded.

"You can wait out here for us," Kakarot said simply, then flashed her a small smile, "Don't worry; nothing exciting will happen without you. The ritual itself has to take place outside anyway."

…How did _he_ know that?

"First you need to dress for the occasion," King Vegeta said, "Both of you. You can't be affirmed if you're dressed like_ that_."

"Alright," I nodded, "Do you want to come inside with us and get out of the cold?"

I heard Bulma mutter, "No one's inviting _me_ to get out of the cold…."

Bardock's dark tail flicked assent, and King Vegeta murmured "Very hospitable of you,"

X

The two haloed Saiyans followed us through the trees quietly. I was still reveling in the fact that I could spend time with my father like this; I'd never appreciated it as a child, and it was such a novelty now. I only got one day like this.

Kakarot's house loomed ahead and our fathers both hesitated almost uncertainly.

"Yeah," Bardock muttered, "This is _definitely_ your territory, Kakarot."

I inhaled the icy winter air and saw what he meant. Kakarot's scent was literally _everywhere_ here, and the very area seemed to radiate with his aura. Of course, only a pure-blooded Saiyan would have been able to tell, but somehow I'd never noticed before.

Kakarot blinked slowly, and I felt a thrill of pride rush through him as if it were mine.

"You're both welcome here," he said fluidly, his tail swishing at his side. He opened the door and bowed the two adults inside seriously. Somehow the gesture wasn't awkward, though I had no idea how he pulled it off.

X

My mate and I got a moment to ourselves after essentially giving our fathers a tour of the house. By Saiyan tradition, we dressed alone except for each other, and we had a moment to plan and confide minor worries.

Kakarot took a huge liking to a Saiyan's idea of formal attire. I think he was just happy he didn't have to wear an uncomfortable suit and choking tie like his wife had forced on him. Saiyans didn't believe in such things; restriction of movement and plain, drab colors were frowned on, especially on days like this.

I glanced at my mate, about to ask a question that quickly vanished from my mind when I beheld him. I swear, I was going to need a bucket for the amount of drool I surely was producing; but by the gods, he was striking. He wore a sleek, bright crimson kimono – open in the front like a robe and untied like a vest - made of fine silk with an intricate dragon embroidered down the side over a simple black undershirt that still revealed a good deal of porcelain chest muscle, loose black combat pants and sandals that could only have been Saiyan for the way they were designed. Not ideal for the cold, of course; but I was _not_ about to point that out and risk him changing clothes. The gorgeous shirt he was sporting was loose enough that most of his right shoulder was bared, showing off the mating mark nestled in the juncture of his corded neck and shoulder, and his tail was allowed its full range of movement – in stark contrast to if he were going to any human event when he would be forced to conceal both the tail and the mark.

My own clothing was actually rather similar except a few design changes, and my own attire was in rich blue, but I didn't feel anywhere near as heart-stopping as my mate looked. The back of my blue kimono bore the royal Saiyan crest - embroidered in pale turquoise - and I wore boots instead of sandals; but the idea was the same.

His jet eyes met mine for a second, and a smirk cornered his mouth. He could read my thoughts of course.

'_Don't worry, shi-kḁdria, you look amazing.'_ He assured me, stealing a quick kiss and guiding me downstairs where our fathers were waiting.

I was completely unprepared for the scene that greeted me.

Bardock and my father were both in a battle stance, lips drawn back and snarling, tails lashing. At first I thought they were challenging each other, but then I followed their line of sight and damn near slapped myself in the face. Not _again_. Not today, of all days!

Kakarot got the message an instant after I did and he teleported down the stairs in a blur, lightning already crackling dangerously around him.

And the reason for his anger was obvious.

"Dammit, ChiChi, I told you to stay away for good!" he shouted.

X

"Goku!" ChiChi almost sounded relieved; probably because she'd just been stared down by two much older, haloed Saiyans that sort of looked like us, but not quite. Not to mention one had a beard and one had a scar on his cheek. They must have looked like robbers.

King Vegeta and Bardock blinked, and asked in perfect synch, "Who?"

It occurred to me that they'd never heard Kakarot's Earth-name before.

"Me," Kakarot said sharply, walking past his father and mine and glaring at his ex-wife hatefully. I'd only ever seen that level of hatred once…. and at the time it was directed at me, when Kakarot had tried to strangle me to death over a year ago.

"Th-the door was unlocked, so I –" ChiChi began, obviously unnerved by the intensity of her ex-husband's narrowed eyes.

"So you just thought you could come_ sauntering_ in and interrupt whatever I might have been _planning_ today?" Kakarot mocked, "No, ChiChi. Not today, not tomorrow; read my lips if you don't understand me: _Never. Come. Back."_

I could see the two deceased Saiyans' bewilderment and growing interest scrawled plainly on their faces. This was about to get ugly. It always did.

"But… before…we…" ChiChi pleaded.

"Shut up. I know somewhere in your messed up world you think we belong together; but I'll say this and I'll say it _once._ I don't love you anymore. I'm done with you. And I'm absolutely _done_ feeling sorry for you."

There was a second of shocked silence. Well, shock on ChiChi's part. Mostly confusion from the two dead Saiyans, anger from Kakarot, and mild irritation from me.

"Now, I've only got _one day_ to spend with the father I've never met and my soon-to-be father-in-law, and last time I checked, this day did not involve you, ChiChi. So get the hell out before I blast you out."

"But –" ChiChi began. Kakarot didn't wait for an answer and simply shut the door in her face. It was not reopened, so I assumed the bitch got the message.

"Who was that?" Bardock asked me after a moment.

"Kakarot's ex-wife and the queen of bitches," I muttered, might as well be honest, "But don't worry. There is _nothing_ going on between them at all."

Bardock blinked, "Well, that's good to hear, I guess." He said awkwardly.

"That won't be the last of her," Kakarot sighed disappointedly, "It's never the last of her."

"She'll get the hint eventually," I shrugged, "And soon she's going to start asking herself if it's even worth it."

"Did she mess up the ritual?" he asked dejectedly, "By barging in?"

The king and Bardock exchanged a glance, and my father answered with a knowing smile.

"No; she was nothing more than… ah, a _test."_ He said simply, "The ritual itself has barely begun."

TBC

_((Short, pathetic, awkward chapter. I'm sorry. It's Monday and I need to sleep, so I'm stopping it there. I promise I'll make the next one better!_

_-Shinsun))_


	46. Chapter 46

_((Yeah yeah, I stole Vegeta's middle name from Philota's story "Nothing Of Mercy", but, I mean come on… I know it was meant to follow the pattern that all Saiyan names derive from vegetables – which I think is ridiculous, but sadly accurate – but I was rather fond of the middle name they gave Vegeta. Sorry Phil!))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 46

By midday, the ritual was ready to begin. To be honest, I wasn't sure what it entailed, and I was pretty sure Kakarot didn't either. I trusted my father enough to lead the ceremony though, and I guess I trusted Bardock enough to help.

The ground was barren of snow – for now - but the grass sparkled with frost and the air was icy. My breath swirled before my face in a cloud, and beads of condensing moisture dripped from my tail, hair and eyelashes like jewels. The air was like a fog; not quite gaseous, and almost liquid in its saturation.

When you think of weddings, visions of freshly-picked roses, lace and satin hangings and other such intricacies come to mind; but Saiyans had a very different view on the joining of two souls. For Saiyans, nature is the best decorator, and any other adjustments made are an insult to her natural process. Rather than create an area of beauty, one must simply _find_ an area of beauty; and there was nowhere more beautiful that I could think of than the top of Mt. Paozu that day.

Just below one of the peaks – so high above the ground that I felt I could have reached up and touched the sky - was an outcropping that provided a spectacular view of the valleys and gulches below, some still retaining a blanket of semi-soft snow, some dotted with mirror pools of groundwater from the meltdown. Beneath the ledge, a roaring waterfall tumbled down the mountainside out of sight, flinging icy spray and mist into the wind and casting gorgeous rainbows on the shale and limestone walls that surrounded it. And with my mate beside me; radiating life and power, aglow in the sun's gaze… I couldn't have been happier anywhere else in the universe.

The air was thin at this altitude – where even eagles hesitated to soar - but with Saiyan lungs, it hardly mattered. My father began the formalities; essentially introducing the four of us to the gods, whether they listened or not. He was careful to use everyone's full title, as was the custom.

"King Bartemys Dragonbane Vegeta, ruler of the Saiyan race and direct descendant of the royal line; Commander Bardock, second-class battle strategist and celebrated visionary; Prince Celer Vegeta, heir to the royal throne, Ascended Super Saiyan and recognized tasan; Kakarot, third-class soldier, third level Super Saiyan and defender of the universe, also known as Son Goku by the inhabitants of the planet Earth. We come before you this day to unite these two souls…"

You get the idea. For the duration of these declarations, Kakarot and I were forbidden to speak. There were a lot of small customs like this; only certain people could speak or do certain things at certain times; that's how Saiyan tradition worked.

This first part of the ritual seemed to last for hours; but it wasn't boring like the monotonous drones at the few human weddings I'd been forced to sit through – don't even ask who for; just friends of Bulma's, leave it at that. My father just had a… a _way _with words that made every sentence poetry; as he listed Kakarot's and my combined accomplishments, both alone and as a pair in the deep, rich baritone voice that I hoped mine would sound like when I was his age. He spoke of the defeat of Frieza, the Androids and Cell, reaching Super Saiyan and beyond, fusion and the destruction of Majin Buu, creating a child… and others that seemed insignificant or unworthy of mention at the time of their transaction; but my father made them seem important and heroic. For example, he acknowledged that I'd become Majin for a time, but included the balance that I'd fought free of the enslavement and sacrificed my own life in payment for my sins. He mentioned Kakarot's marriage and divorce with ChiChi, and named the three demis as accomplishments in their own right.

Then there was a short period of customary silence, originally intended as time for the gods to verify the information and judge whether we were both worthy; again, that was _if_ the gods were listening. This ritual was designed before it was possible to actually _meet_ the gods, so a lot of this seemed redundant nowadays; but isn't that true of most human ceremonies as well?

Bardock spoke next, but only a short sentence, "Speak now your justifications."

It took me a second to realize he was talking to Kakarot and me.

'_Basically it's like vows,'_ Kakarot explained – _where_ did he get this knowledge?- '_We just explain why we became mates and why we're worthy to be authorized.'_

'_And you know this how?'_ I asked.

'_Your father told me beforehand; didn't he tell you?'_

'_No. Gods, what am I going to say?'_

'_I'll help you, and I'll go first. After all, I already know what _**I'm**_going to say.'_

Trust Kakarot to be completely cool and collected in this situation. I felt like everyone was in on something and they'd left me out on purpose.

"There's a lot I could say," Kakarot intoned, and I could tell he'd rehearsed this in his head, "And I could lay out a long, complicated speech for why I've done what I have and where to go from here; but really all I can say is this…."

He turned to me and took my hands in his. It could have been cliché if his expression and voice weren't perfectly serious.

"Vegeta," he said, "I know I was reluctant and even resentful when this all started, and that I hurt you more than you ever deserved; but these last two years have been some of the best of my life, and I wouldn't trade a second of it –even the bad times – for the world. All I want now is you; that is, if your father is willing to give you to me." King Vegeta smirked at this, "And I'm more than a little confident that you feel the same. These are my justifications, and if none object; I offer you my hand, my heart, and myself."

There was a moment of quiet.

'_Now what?'_ I asked.

'_Now it's your turn. Don't worry; it's easier than it looks.'_

I swallowed, unsure of where to begin. I supposed the best place to start was where my mate had.

"Kakarot… Goku," Damn, that name sounded strange coming from me, but I pressed on, "Whichever you prefer, it doesn't matter to me; because you've given me something I never thought I'd have, no matter what you're called. All my life I've strived for perfection; and only now do I realize it's not something you can _be…_ but _somewhere_ you are. And I could never have gotten there without you. Without your acceptance and selflessness that shaped me more than the years of fighting and suffering ever could have," I was on a roll here, and I hadn't made a fool of myself yet. I didn't know where the words came from, but they just kept coming.

"If this partnership lasts until the end of our lives, it won't be enough. If it lasts forever, it _still_ won't be enough. No amount of time with you is enough for me, but whatever you can give, I will gratefully accept… I never thought I'd find my soul-mate, and I told myself over and over when I was young that I couldn't miss what I never had; but you've proven me wrong, and I don't know how I lived without this…without us. These are my justifications, and if none object; I offer you my hand, my heart, and myself."

'_Perfect.'_ Kakarot smiled.

'_Too long?'_ I asked, '_Too much?'_

'_What part of "perfect" do you not understand?'_ he said amusedly.

King Vegeta chuckled with a slow head shake before he spoke, "I never thought I'd see the day when my own arrogant son admitted any such thing; but then, I didn't think I'd ever get out of Hell, even for a day, and here I am. I had my doubts, and I wasn't sure if this was a good idea at first; but now I can see that there is no more fitting pair of Saiyans under the stars than this pair right here. And so, on this planet called Earth, I bestow my blessing upon them. Kakarot, Vegeta, I hope you find happiness wherever your intertwined paths lead."

Bardock glanced around for a second. I could tell he thought this was awkward, but he spoke dutifully as well.

"I barely even knew my son until today. I dismissed him a low power level blip on a scouter that wouldn't measure up to the expectations I'd set. And _now_ look at him. But Kakarot's strength is not what makes him worthy of the hand of a prince; nor is it why I stand in awe of him today. No, what amazed me the most since I came here was his spirit. Everything Kakarot does, he does magnificently; and the level of caring, compassion and love he is able to give is incredible. And I can tell the bond goes both ways; I truly believe these two are meant to be together. So today, on this dinky planet called Earth, I give my approval and reverence to these two Saiyans that rival the gods. Vegeta, and Kakarot…my son… I know you will care for each other until death – as is required of this ritual – but I also think you will go beyond that, and will exist as one entity even when Otherworld itself is no more. Good luck, and good fortune to you both."

Wow. I was not expecting that from the rebellious, cocky commander Bardock that shot things first and asked questions later. I could tell Kakarot felt the same and was deeply moved by his father's speech; and when I glanced at him, I saw tears sparkling on the rims of his eyes, though they didn't fall.

"With the gods as witnesses," King Vegeta stated powerfully, "I grant this pair the right to be mated, and the right to live and love until death and beyond."

There was a second of slightly anticlimactic silence, but Bardock broke it.

"If you two don't kiss now, I'll be severely disappointed."

Kakarot laughed, and I couldn't help smirking through my self-consciousness. Then my mate – my _lawful_ mate – swept me over to him and kissed me with enough passion to give me chills. Everything else in the world just melted away as I closed my eyes and obliged him enthusiastically. And then – as custom dictated – we broke apart and simultaneously reopened each other's marks in an exchanging of blood that would bind us forever.

And as Kakarot's electrifying blood rushed into my mouth, and mine into his, I heard him whisper to me in my mind.

'_I love you, Vegeta.'_

'_I love you too.' _I answered.

X

It was still early afternoon as the four of us descended from the mountain. We were greeted as we landed with Bulma's unimpressed face as she began berating us for making her "sit out" and for not letting her stand two inches away to take notes. Frankly, I was glad she'd stayed behind; for a lot of reasons.

We still had time in this day, a lot of it before the haloed Saiyans had to leave. I thought the best thing to do would be to introduce Tess and the demis, and to try and fill some of the gap that half a century apart had left in two father-son relationships.

So Kakarot teleported us to Capsule Corp. Tesserot was playing hide-and-seek with Goten – if their ki signals were any indication - while Gohan and Trunks were in a death-match of Uno in the kitchen. The card game was getting rather heated, especially since the cards kept getting singed and bent when the demis got frustrated, but I could tell they were enjoying themselves.

Once they realized we were there, however, the two demis set down the cards and came over to us.

"Hey Dad," Trunks greeted me, "How'd it go?"

I glanced over my shoulder at my father, then at my mate, "Just fine." Then to the king, "Father, this is Trunks; my eldest."

I'd already explained the whole father-to-one, mother-to-the-other issue to my sire, but he still hadn't met the demi yet.

"Pleasure to meet you, Trunks," King Vegeta said politely, "Tell me, how old are you?"

"Almost fourteen." Trunks lifted his chin to demonstrate how mature he was.

"You were a parent that long?" my father asked me.

"Sort of." I muttered, "I kind of missed out on most of Trunks's childhood. Bulma's his mother."

Said blue-haired woman mumbled something and bustled away; probably deeming the number of Saiyans in the area too high for her tolerance. I can't say I blamed her.

"So," Gohan asked Kakarot, "How does it feel to be legally mated?"

Kakarot smiled genuinely, "Amazing. I didn't think I'd feel any different, but _wow._"

I knew what he meant. I'd thought I'd felt connected to my mate before, but now it was official. We'd always be together, we'd always be one. It was hard to describe.

"Where did Tess and Goten run off to?" I asked Gohan.

"Upstairs," the demi replied, "playing a game. It was good for them to get some exercise."

"Tell them to come down here and meet their grandfathers," Kakarot said.

Gohan shrugged, "Alright," and with that he headed upstairs.

Tesserot and Goten came rocketing down the stairs, so quickly that their feet barely made contact with the ground. At the bottom stair, Tess launched into the air and took a much-too-long, much-too-high leap over to us. He landed unsteadily and wobbled for a second, but he stayed standing.

"Whoa," Kakarot breathed, "Tess did you _jump_ that far?"

The child shook his head, "Flew."

I automatically crossed my arms disapprovingly, though a rush of pride was filling my chest just the same.

"Who taught you that?" I asked slowly, giving Goten the death-glare.

"Don't look at me, I didn't do anything," Goten said quickly, "And I told him it was dangerous."

"It's not _dangerous,_" Kakarot reasoned, "Just… Tess, make sure one of us is around before you try it again, okay?"

"Okay." Tess nodded.

"Anyway," I flicked the nervous tension out of my tail as I spoke, "Tess, Goten, these are your grandfathers; King Vegeta and Bardock."

"Nice to meet you," Goten dipped his head respectfully, obviously still unnerved by my glare.

"And you," Bardock said smoothly.

King Vegeta was silent for a second.

"And I thought the Saiyan race was dying out," he muttered, "Seems I was wrong."

I had to agree with him there. There were a lot of _kids_ around these days; and there was still _another_ on the way.

X

By the time night fell, the awkward ice had mostly been broken; and conversations were had. Goten and Trunks alternated in telling their grandfathers stories, and the older Saiyans were unusually patient in listening to them. Tess just seemed happy to sit in between his two grandfathers and watch. No one really knew where Bulma had run off to; but she'd be back. Gohan chipped in the conversation now and again, and for the most part, Kakarot and I were quiet; just savoring the moment to have three or four generations of our family in one place. It had never happened before and probably would never happen again.

When the children went to bed reluctantly and said their goodbyes to the haloed Saiyans – who would have to leave in the morning – the air seemed to clear as they, Gohan, Kakarot and I talked about the past and mused about the future.

"It's a shame you have to leave," Gohan sighed.

"Yeah," Bardock nodded, "But we have to."

"We don't belong in this world anymore." King Vegeta added wistfully.

The silence lasted about two minutes, but it was a companionable one.

"I'm just glad everything worked out," Kakarot said, looping his tail around mine.

"Me too," I agreed, resting my head on his shoulder.

So went the evening, and I fell asleep on my mate's shoulder after a while; my shortened metabolism exhausted from the long day. And for once, no dreams disturbed me.

Kakarot and I woke at dawn; and teleported the deceased Saiyans to Yemma's check-in station when they were ready to go.

"You're early," Yemma yawned, "You've still got four hours."

"There's nothing more to be done," King Vegeta said, "Any more time would just be delaying."

"I see." The giant nodded, "Well, whenever you're ready."

I turned to my father to say farewell, and was completely unprepared for the embrace he wrapped around me.

"Wha-?" I began.

I was kind of used to people hugging me when I was pregnant; but I had a feeling that wasn't what this was about. It didn't seem like something a king would do, but I can't say it didn't feel good.

"I'm proud of you," he murmured, "Never forget that."

He released me after a moment and covered the potentially awkward moment with a cough.

"Goodbye, Father." I said shakily.

"And to you, my son."

And with that he turned and walked up to Yemma's desk, with Bardock trailing behind him.

The giant stamped a few papers and looked down at the two Saiyans, "One of the guides is waiting on Snake Way for you; the taxi will take you back to Hell, alright?"

"Very well," King Vegeta nodded; and the two Saiyans left from sight.

I watched them until I couldn't keep them in sight, and eventually my mate took my hand and teleported us home.

"It's for the best," he said upon reading my sorrow through our bond.

"Yeah," I conceded, wiping my eyes though they weren't wet.

"And now we can start a new future," he added, "Together."

I accepted the kiss he initiated, and the promise of a brighter future. And I had to admit he was right; if those two had stayed here, Earth would be a mess.

TBC


	47. Chapter 47

_((Sorry I haven't updated in a week, I was busy with school. So…. Now that the whole ritual thing is done, we can get back into the pregnancy fillers (YAY!) and of course my crazy sister requested this. So don't __**look**__at me like that; it wasn't all my idea, and it wasn't just an excuse to write this kind of thing…. though I have been waiting for such an excuse._

_-Shinsun))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 47

"Hey… Kakarot?" I prompted one day while we were getting dressed. I felt nervous and foolish for contemplating how to ask what I wanted to. It was not only awkward, but Kakarot might see it as wrong.

"Yeah?" he replied smoothly, throwing on a T-shirt and turning to glance at me.

"Can I… can I ask you something?" I stammered.

"Anything."

I expelled air slowly, "When was the last time…. you had a drink?"

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Well I had a glass of water just now…."

"You know that's not what I mean."

He tilted his head a little, more perplexed than offended, as I think he should have been.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because I was wondering… if you wanted to…" I faltered, unsure how to ask.

And…. there was the disapproval I'd been looking for.

"Vegeta, when you're pregnant you shouldn't consume alcohol, that's kind of a rule of thumb."

I averted my gaze slightly, "If I wasn't supposed to, why would my damn hormones make me want it?"

His eyes narrowed, "You're craving alcohol?"

I let out what remained of my breath in a rush, "I think so."

He was silent for a long time. I could sense the concern and confusion shifting back and forth in his mind, but not the blatant negative response that I'd expected. Last time it had been chocolate, and that was easy to handle. This time…. I wasn't sure what to make of it, but I knew I'd have a tough time refusing something that was designed to be addictive to begin with.

"I…. I think we should ask Bulma first. A Saiyan pregnancy is different than a human one in a lot of ways, and this could be one difference… or it might not be and we could get in a_ lot_ of trouble." He said eventually.

I felt an overwhelming urge to pout, but I resisted it. I was getting better control over mood swings and other things, and much of the morning sickness and nightmares had faded, but I'd always had a tough time with cravings because I couldn't see why _not._ Stubbornness at work.

"Alright fine." I muttered, "To be honest, I'm a little freaked out too."

My mate held up a hand to silence me, "It's not even that. It's just… we've come this far, and I don't want to mess it up now. Not when we're this close."

Six months. I hadn't even thought I'd make it this far. And he was right, it could be messed up _so_ easily.

X

At the very _mention_ of something possibly being wrong with the pregnancy – even if Kakarot hadn't necessarily suggested that – Bulma whipped out her medical equipment and made me sit through yet _another_ full-scale examination. I wondered if it was because she was concerned or just curious.

Eventually she just shrugged, "I don't see why not."

Kakarot and I both stared at her.

"What?" my mate asked.

She giggled a little bit, "While I find it kind of amusing thinking of two Saiyans getting drunk, right now I'd almost encourage it. You guys could use the relief from all the stress, and it might actually _help_ the baby rather than harm it." Kakarot started to protest and she cut him off, "I understand your concern Goku, but Saiyan DNA is very different from human DNA. Things like alcohol, caffeine, drugs, et cetera don't exactly have the same effect on you guys."

I raised an eyebrow, "How so?" I'd seen what humans were like when they got drunk, and I'd seen what Saiyans were like when _they_ got drunk… and there wasn't a lot of difference.

"Well, even as infants, your tolerance is a lot higher, and it's easier to keep a level head if you don't have a lot. But I guess I should warn you that with your metabolisms, once you get up you'll have a damn hard time getting back down. And when you _do_ get down, you'll go through the floor."

Kakarot blinked, and I knew she'd lost him, "What do you mean?"

I shot him a sideways glance, "She means once you get intoxicated, you stay that way for a long time. And when you crash, it's really something terrible. Saiyan hangovers were something of fame."

Gods, even _talking_ about alcohol was making me desire it again. And I made up my mind that if I was going down, I was taking Kakarot with me.

"I say you leave the kids with me and Gohan and go settle this on that sparring island of yours. You guys could use the time away."

She had a point. Directly following the ritual had been a month or two where my mate and I barely left the house, and that meant being in the almost continuous presence of kids.

Kakarot still looked nervous, "What if… what if something happens…?"

"Kakarot, wasn't it _you_ that said life's nothing without a little risk?"

He glanced at me once, "…..Maybe not in those exact words, but yeah…"

"Well… it's been a while since we took a risk, and I've got a good feeling about this one."

'_And I'm not just saying that because I can't think straight with all the crazy hormones in my body right now. I think it would be good for us, when was the last time you just let go?'_

'_I… I don't….'_ he faltered.

'_Trust me. Haven't I proven to you that I trust you with my life? Can you do the same for me?'_

He brushed his tail along mine gently, "Of course I trust you."

"Well then." Bulma said briskly, "Get your tails off my medical table and get out of here. And I don't want to see you back until you've done this at least once. I doubt either of you has ever gotten buzzed before, but I don't want you buzzed. I want you _wasted._ You can come back once you've recovered, and we won't speak of it again if you don't want to."

'_We're doomed.'_ Kakarot sent me.

'_Indeed,'_ I agreed with a short nod.

X

When Kakarot and I met up on the island that evening, I began having second thoughts. Bulma was right, I'd never done this before. I'd never _deliberately_ tried to get myself drunk. The only times I'd had alcohol before were at parties where it was only polite, and I'd been more worried about _not_ making an idiot of myself than anything else.

I had no idea where or how Kakarot had gotten enough sake and lager to fill a bathtub and drown someone, but he had.

He looked edgy as he opened two bottles of the latter and handed one to me, "You're sure about this?"

I swallowed my own inhibitions and put on a typical Saiyan "_fuck it"_ smirk, "C'mon Kakarot, it'll be fun."

He sighed, "I don't know if I like your definition of fun, Vegeta. It used to include blowing up planets, remember?"

A spike in the craving that had been nagging me all day pushed me over the boundary of security into recklessness, and I brought the bottle up to my lips and took an almost tentative sip.

Instantly, I felt relief from the want that had been gnawing at me, but it was almost just as immediately replaced with the want of _more._ And little did I know that that cycle would just keep repeating over the course of the night.

I noticed that Kakarot was watching me, and he hadn't touched the drink in his hand.

I let a reassuring smile flit across my mouth and sat down next to him in the sand, and took another swallow – this one longer – to silence the desire for a moment.

"I still think you're insane," he said carefully, studying the lip of his bottle, "….And I guess I am too."

And with that, he tipped his head back and took a gulp of the lager.

He blinked several times, likely adjusting himself to the taste; or readjusting…. I wasn't sure if Kakarot had even ever had this stuff before.

"I have," he answered my unspoken thought, "But… never just for fun. Never just because I _could."_

"Why not?" I asked, taking another sip.

His eyebrows lowered a little in pondering and he took a slow drink, as if organizing his thoughts.

"ChiChi didn't like it. I think Bulma was the only one who did, and everyone I knew said she was a bad influence. Maybe… maybe I shouldn't have listened when they said that," Another nerve-calming mouthful and he continued, "After all, they were wrong about you. Wrong about _most_ things."

Understanding rushed through me. _This_ was what Bulma wanted. Connection. It wasn't just a ploy to humiliate us; she actually wanted us to talk. "_You guys could use the time away."_

Clever Bulma.

"Like what?" I prompted, sating another increase of craving with a leisurely swallow, "What were they wrong about?"

"Let's see… they were wrong about me, for one thing," he began, "They thought I was an idiot. They thought I stayed with ChiChi because I _had_ to. They thought I d … didn't know what it meant to be in love. They thought I only spent so much time around you because I was a good sport and a happy-go-lucky moron."

He drained the last of the lager from his bottle and threw it, incinerating it in midair so that not even ash remained. He spoke calmly, but I could tell this subject really needled him.

"They were wrong about you, like I said." He went on, twisting the cap off his second bottle while I finished off my first.

"'_They'_ being who?" I interrupted, destroying my empty bottle the same fashion that he had.

"Everyone I hung out with," he said, taking a long drink of his second bottle of lager as I opened my own. I noticed he wasn't so tentative anymore, "Krillin, Yamcha, Roshi, hell, maybe even Bulma herself."

There was a pause in which we both drank in silence.

"No," he amended, "No, I think Bulma understood me pretty well. Understood _you_ pretty well. She just… acted different around other people, but she was good at reading them."

"And me?" I asked, struggling internally with the fact that no matter how many times I quieted the nattering craving in my chest by gulping this stuff, it only got that much worse, "Was I wrong about you?"

I knew I had been. Perhaps more so than I'd been about anything in my life. But I wanted to hear it from him.

He laughed shortly, "Gods, yes. No offense, Vegeta, but if I told you back in the day that you'd end up stuck as my mate for life, I think you'd blow up the Earth just to ensure that _didn't_ happen, _after_ giving me both a physical and verbal thrashing."

Eh. He was probably right.

After a few minutes, Kakarot finished his second drink and obliterated the bottle again, he looked almost bored, "I'm not sure how this is supposed to work, but I don't feel any different." He muttered.

"Bulma said Saiyans have a higher tolerance," I reminded him, "It might take a while."

I wasn't sure how much more _want, drink, want, repeat,_ I could handle; but I trusted Bulma, so I just went with it.

X

The sun was long down. I lost track of how many drinks we'd both had, but it was a lot. We were just starting on the sake when Kakarot stopped and looked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I… I'm not sure…" he said in a voice that almost sounded unnerved, "I just… got all jittery all of the sudden."

"That's what we're after, remember?"

"R-right." He muttered, tail lashing slightly.

Another lapse of wordless sipping followed, and I was relieved that as the amount of alcohol I took in increased, my internal demand for it decreased.

I glanced at my mate in time to see him drink an entire bottle in one long swallow.

"Kakarot isn't that a bit dangerous…?" I began.

He rolled the neck of the bottle between his hands, an almost feral glint in his eyes, "Nah. If you're gonna do something you should do it all the way."

Suddenly the idea of an intoxicated alpha male Super Saiyan three didn't seem like such a good idea. But I guess there was no backing out now.

And then I felt it too. A skittering tingle that ran all the way down my body, fogging my mind and making my very skin twitch. I'd experienced much stranger things though, so I didn't see what the big deal was.

Kakarot raised his bottle to his lips slowly, and then tensed. He set down the bottle without partaking its contents and closed his eyes, breathing heavily.

"W- what the hell….?" He murmured.

Curiosity overtook me and I asked, '_What does it feel like?'_

'_Gods… like being on the edge of a new power level; or the edge of a cliff...'_

'_You're still not there yet,'_ I said.

"How will I know when I am?" his voice was layered with a haze that made it sound rough and dark.

"You'll know." I assured him.

And the cycle resumed.

X

I soon realized what Kakarot meant when I too found myself on that precipice. From then on, we all but competed with each other, just trying to tip one or both of us over the edge.

We were nearly out of sake when Kakarot found the edge.

"It would just be so easy…" he muttered absently.

He was still so nervous; worried about what would or wouldn't happen. And I knew he wouldn't go on his own without a push.

I leaned over to him slowly and pressed my lips to his; the sharp taste of concentrated alcohol mingling between us. A shudder ran down his body from his fingertips to the end of his tail, and he pressed back, attacking my mouth and gripping my shoulders bruisingly. Not the response I expected, but who was I to complain?

"Almost…. there…." He grit out, his hair sparking gold for a second with the disorder inside him. Then, abruptly, he let me go.

I felt his ki disconnect. That's really the only way I can describe it is that his ki just… unplugged. It wasn't that it _stopped,_ because I could still feel him there, next to me, around me, in me like he had been since we mated; but there was something different about it, and it almost didn't feel like it was his. His power level fluctuated like its own rapid tide, and as he shot the Super Saiyan three I could almost hear his heart racing as he stood unsteadily and staggered backwards a few steps.

"W-whoa…" he said shakily.

Wanting to know what he felt, what it was like, I downed the last bottle of sake and braced myself.

Once it kicked in, I knew. This was what Bulma meant when she said "up". It wasn't like the mindless sluggishness that I always associated with everything I was told about being drunk. It was like a level of Super Saiyan where everything feels light and loose and hyper. Unstable? Yes. Insane? Yes. Could I think straight for two seconds? Not a chance.

I…. I have a hard time putting it into words. Yes, it was a pleasurable experience, but also a chaotic one. I don't think I could discern my own fingers from the very air around them. It was almost like I wasn't there. Or that I was there, and I was moving extremely fast. And I wasn't sure where Kakarot was, but I knew he was feeling the same things.

I felt something hot touching me. Something wet and moving. It took me a moment's blurred concentration to realize that my mate was kissing me; and having a hard time doing so. It was like he couldn't focus and kept missing his mark, and I think he bit my ear at some point, but it was hard to tell.

Reality flickered in and out of a dream I thought I knew. I saw things too quickly to comprehend them, and my heart was beating like it was trying to escape my chest. I remembered vaguely that alcohol was supposed to be a depressant, and therefore made things slower; but apparently alcohol and Saiyans mixed about as well as oil and water, and an opposite reaction was created.

The state of fast-forward lasted a small eternity, and the woman was right. It was damn hard to come back down again. I gradually started piecing things back together after a long time, and though Kakarot and I were literally within inches of each other throughout the whole thing, we were separated as if by a veil. I'd heard countless stories about people who fucked each other in a drunken state, but we did not. I thought we had at some point, but looking back, we did not.

After a long, _long_ time, we came back down. Okay, that was a bad description. We _crashed_ back down. And it _was _as abrupt and violent as a crash. Cold, hard reality just slammed down over us and pinned us down, and I found myself fighting for breath, trying to slow my skipping pulse. And then everything flickered and I closed my eyes.

X

The sun was high in the sky by the time I opened my eyes again. Too bright. I wanted to blast it out of the sky just for having the audacity to shine that bright. I heard a wave hit the shore, and it was like a thunderclap. I winced, my head throbbing like crazy.

I looked for Kakarot through squinted eyes – it was all I could manage – and was surprised to find him gone. Where….? I tried to stand, wobbling as my tail failed to give me balance, and promptly threw up. That had _nothing_ to do with morning sickness. That was a hangover puke.

On the plus side – if there _was_ one – the very thought of alcohol of any kind made me want to vomit right now, so I had finally trounced my craving…. was that what it had been? It seemed unlikely and even preposterous that I would even want to touch alcohol right now.

I glimpsed the blurry form of Kakarot walking towards me. He looked steadier than I felt, but when he approached me I could see he looked exhausted.

"You look terrible," he said to me.

"Yeah, I sure need to hear that first thing when I wake up." I muttered sarcastically.

He laughed, and I winced as the sound aggravated my eardrums, "Sorry. I got up an hour ago and tried to walk it off."

"And…?" I pressed a hand to my temple in an attempt to cease its throbbing.

"No such luck." He said, "I doubt I could even teleport us this way."

There was a moment of much-needed silence.

"So…?" Kakarot asked, "Did it work?"

"In a sense," I grumbled, "I got rid of the craving for sure, but now I have to deal with the Hangover from Hell."

"At least you don't have to deal with it alone," he pointed out.

"True enough."

"And the baby?" he went on, sitting back down in the sand, where I joined him after a moment's hesitation.

"Fine." I said honestly, "I think I knocked him out though, judging from the fact that he's _not_ trying to kick my ribs in right now."

My mate smiled tiredly. He always liked when I referred to the unborn child as male, as he'd predicted.

"Well I hope Bulma's happy." I muttered, "And I still think it was all a plot to make us look like idiots."

Kakarot looked at me like I was missing something in the second of silence that followed.

"I don't know _what_ lens you were looking through," Kakarot said, "But I think you being at Super Saiyan three is the opposite of looking like an idiot."

TBC

_((No I did not give Vegeta level three. He could only reach it when he was intoxicated, but still! Fine, if u guys give me enough demands ill change it so that he can be Super Saiyan three when he wants, okay? If not, ill leave it like this._

_-Shinsun))_


	48. Chapter 48

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 48

"_What?"_ I shouted, wincing as the sound of my own voice increased my headache.

"You heard me." Kakarot said simply, "Man, you should have seen it; it was…. you were so beautiful."

Past tense. I ran a hand absently through my hair and found it to be normal. I felt almost sad for some reason. Level three. I'd actually attained Super Saiyan three, and I hadn't even been aware enough to enjoy it.

"What did I…?" I began, and then I realized I wasn't sure what I wanted to ask.

"I can show you," my mate responded, "I can send you my memories of it, but they might be a little…. foggy…."

"That's okay, I…. I want to see it."

He nodded, '_I thought you might.'_

I closed my eyes and opened my mind to him, unsure of what to expect. I'd read his mind before and even walked in his dreams, but not usually when the subject was myself.

A blurry image started building behind my eyelids, and I marveled absently on how Kakarot could even concentrate hard enough to send his memories to me with the headache he must have had. At first the image just moved, as if searching for something, and then landed on me. I couldn't discern minute details, but I could see my own expression change from wariness to amazement and watched myself stand up.

The vision wavered, as if Kakarot were blinking or refocusing, and then suddenly it was in full clarity. I had no idea how it was so clear, but I could see the individual grains of sand and the light reflecting off the water. But what really drew my attention was myself. My eyes went wide rather suddenly and my dark hair turned to gold, lengthening and rippling into a gorgeous blonde mane that descended to my knees. It was paler than Kakarot's hair, but just as striking, as were my browless icy eyes. I could feel Kakarot's awe, and even as the image blurred again, his eyes followed me as I flew through a kata that I didn't remember doing. I was lithe and wild, despite the slight curve of my midsection hindering much of my movement. And I heard one of Kakarot's coherent thoughts as he'd witnessed this; '_This is you. You were _meant _for level three.'_

I wasn't entirely sure why he said – thought - that, but that was where the memory ended.

"What did you mean? When you said I was 'meant' for level three?" I asked once the vision dissipated.

He shrugged a little, seeming exhausted from putting up that much concentration, "It just… seemed so _you._ Like you were born for it. I thought level three was something special and somehow only I could do it. But seeing you… like that… it was like a personification of everything you are. It makes my idea of Super Saiyan three seem like… I don't know… an _imitation_ of how it's supposed to be. An imitation of you."

Wow. I really didn't know how to answer that. Not even close.

"Can I still do it?" I asked, "I mean… anytime I want?"

"I don't know." He said softly.

I searched myself, looking for that switch, for how to reach that level of energy again…. and I couldn't find it.

"I guess I can't." I sighed, "I guess it's not voluntary for me."

"Still," Kakarot said, getting to his feet unsteadily, "It's pretty amazing that you can. Voluntarily or otherwise."

"Yeah," I said quietly, standing up as well.

My head was still killing me and I ached everywhere, but I didn't want to stay on this island anymore. What I really needed was to sleep this off in a real bed.

"Come on, Kakarot. Let's go home."

X

A month passed. I'm not sure when Tess started asking me questions, but I remember answering as evasively as I could. I grant this importance because he was asking about me. About why I was tired all the time and why my belly was big. Tough to answer since he only a year and a half old.

I reached my limit of half-truths when he asked why Kakarot had brought his old crib back in his room.

"Do I have to sleep in there again?" he asked.

"No," I said carefully. He'd figure it out sooner or later; it would be best to hear it from me, I guess. "Listen, Tess. Uh… maybe you should sit down,"

He blinked and sat on the edge of his bed, his huge dark eyes expectant. I think he inherited those round, innocent eyes from his father, and I wondered when he would learn how to use them. Back in the day, Kakarot's puppy-dog eyes had quite a reputation. Not so much now, but I remember when they were one of his most effective weapons.

"Tesserot… you know that your father and I are different, right? I mean –"

"Yeah," he nodded, "He's my dad, and you're my _t__ӫ__tka_."

"Right," I conceded tactfully, "Well… before you were born, I… I carried you… what I mean is… you were in here," I laid a hand on my abdomen, unsure of whether I'd said too much.

His little eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion, "I was…. inside you?"

Just the fact that he could interpret that much was incredible. It wasn't just his body that developed ridiculously quickly, but his mind as well.

"Um… yes." I said nervously, "Well… now there's another baby inside… your brother."

"Really?" he asked, "What does he look like?"

Gods, that kid caught on fast.

"Well, we don't know that yet. He's not born yet."

"When will he be born?"

Tough question, I honestly didn't know that one myself.

"Not sure." I said, at least that was the truth, "It shouldn't be too long, though."

"So…. It'll be like Goten and Trunks… except smaller?"

"In a sense," I sighed, still unable to believe he even understood this. _I'd_ barely understood it until it was shoved in my face two years ago.

"And he's going to sleep in my room?"

"Yes, a little while after he's born, this will be his room too."

A thought occurred to me. What if Tess didn't want to share?

"Is that…. is that okay?" I asked uncertainly.

He thought about it.

"Yeah," he said simply, "He'll be _my_ little brother and I'll protect him."

I blinked twice rapidly. That statement was almost… possessive. Kind of like how Kakarot was around me. Maybe Tess would end up as the dominant male someday, or would at least possess some of Kakarot's jealous, overprotective traits. A strange thought.

X

Bulma gave me another examination the next day. This time inside, with her ultrasound thing. I tried to sit still for her, but I felt restless. Both she and Kakarot had to remind me more than once not to fidget.

"How do you feel right now?" she asked me as she hooked up cords and such, "I mean, physically?"

I shivered a little as she smeared the cold gel on my stomach, "Fine, I guess… a little sore here and there and tired, but that's normal for me."

"Alright," she nodded, "Now, just watch the screen."

"I know how it works, woman." I muttered.

She shrugged, and I turned my attention to the screen across from me.

I 'd seen an ultrasound of a baby at seven or so months before when I was pregnant with Tess, so I was pretty sure what I expected. But what I saw was just like an actual person, except smaller. Eyelashes, fingernails, tail fur. Despite the smudgy black and silver quality of the image, I could make out such miniscule details as these, and it was a little shocking.

"The final stages of development are very subtle," Bulma chattered; sometimes I think she just liked to hear herself talk, I swear, "Weight gain, stability, immune systems activating, et cetera; but other than that I'd say he's almost ready to be born."

"Really?" Kakarot asked from next to me.

"Well, just about. Give it a month or two, and he'll be fine." She said easily, then she gave me a sideways glance, "You know, we _could_ throw you a baby shower."

A scowl automatically snapped onto my face and I growled, "Absolutely not. I won't be humiliated by your stupid ritzy human customs."

"You don't have to be an antisocial ass _all _the time," the woman muttered, "Nothing fancy, we could just have everybody over to congratulate you and stuff."

"Yeah Vegeta," Kakarot said, "It could be fun."

I glared at him, "These days _you're_ even more antisocial than _me._"

He laughed, "Not possible."

"So…. should I ask them to come, or should I just not bother?" Bulma asked.

"Go ahead," Kakarot smiled, "If I have to drag my mate's royal ass into it, I will."

I flicked him with my tail, pulling on a shirt as the image on the screen blacked out, "And I hear you're a pretty big fan of my royal ass."

He took the end of said tail in his hand and gently nipped the tip of it, "Very true."

A sharp gasp hissed past my lips at the sensation, but I otherwise ignored him.

"Right," Bulma said awkwardly, "So… I'll send out the word…"

Again, I got dragged into something that I didn't want to do simply because I couldn't say no to my mate.

Well, at least he couldn't say no to me either.

X

"I thought you said you weren't doing anything fancy!" I hissed at Bulma as I stepped into Capsule Corp three days later. Seriously, it looked like a birthday party…and, I reminded myself, it kind of was, but that didn't mean the woman had to go _nuts_ with it.

"I'm not," Bulma objected, "I just… made the house look nice for today."

"Were the flowers necessary? You know I can't stand this froufrou crap, I've told you that enough times!"

"But I just –" she began.

"It's fine, Bulma." Kakarot soothed, "Vegeta, calm down. It's no big deal."

I couldn't very well just storm off and leave; I'd already entered and that would seem cowardly. All I could do was suffer through it.

"Fine." I growled, "Who did you invite?"

"Your friends and family, no one else," Bulma said.

"I don't have any fr –" I started to protest, but my mate stopped me.

'_Yes you do; look around. You're more popular than you think.'_

I glanced up at the group of people mingling nearby and shook my head.

'_They're only here because_ you_ are.'_ I muttered.

'_Not true. Is it _my_ baby shower?'_

I started to say something, but I had to admit he had a point.

"Well…. what exactly do I _do?"_ I asked, this time purely out of confusion.

"Nothing, really." Kakarot answered, "Just smile, laugh, let people talk to you, and have a good time."

"Kakarot, I am only capable of less than half of those things."

"Well then you'll have to learn, 'cause I'm not going to hold your hand through this. This is for you, and you're going to have to deal."

'_Isn't that a little cruel? You're supposed to be my mate.' _I reproached.

'_Yes, but everyone's got to stand on their own two feet at some point. Don't worry, I won't go far.'_

And with that he walked away, flicking his tail as a gesture of almost apology. I had a feeling that this was what people called "tough love".

As it turns out, it wasn't _that _hard at first to just be there. I kept to myself for as long as I could, but it was inevitable that sooner or later, someone would talk to me. And it took me two seconds to realize that the woman hadn't lied to me. I knew everyone here; mostly just Z fighters and demi Saiyans. Thank the gods.

Piccolo was there, and he was in fact the first to speak to me.

"Long time no see, Vegeta." He said from behind me, "Enjoying the festivities?"

I snorted grimly, "About as well as I enjoy being force-fed poison, Namek. Surely you're no better off."

"It is… entertaining." He said smoothly, "But at the same time, _interesting._ You've become likeable, Vegeta. People _want_ to be around you."

I shook my head slowly, "No, I'm just the shiny new toy that everyone's come to gawk at. Once things go back to normal, they'll all go back to not giving a damn about me, and that's the way I like it."

"Wow," Piccolo said with a short laugh, "That's three lies at once, I didn't think you were that shallow, Vegeta. First of all, people _have_ come to _like_ you, because you let them. You let go of the arrogance and evil and people warmed up to you; it's not hard to see why, especially now that you and Goku are so close."

"We're practically one person, Namek." I interrupted shortly.

"I know. I can tell. Anyway, second of all, things will never go back to normal. They never were normal to begin with, and it's just going to get_ less_ so from here. And thirdly, it's pretty obvious that you don't like people to not care about you. You've been trying to get the approval of others your whole life, you just didn't know how until now."

"That's ridiculous." I muttered.

"Is it really? Why did you destroy planets and murder people when you were under Frieza's rule?"

"So that damn tyrant wouldn't beat me within an inch of my life," I answered bluntly.

"Why didn't you want him to beat you?" he countered.

"Because I would seem weak."

"Why didn't you want to seem weak?"

"So that…" I paused and bit my lip, "So that people would respect me."

"Exactly."

Oh. How did the Namek _do_ that? How did he reduce all my defiance and tact to dust? He must have gotten it from that Kami.

"Much as I'd love to stay and chat and dissect your life story, I think other people would like to talk to you and I don't want to keep them waiting," Piccolo said eventually, and he smoothly distanced himself from me until he was out of sight.

And then I was forced to go through the handshakes and the congratulations and the awkward questions. At least I wasn't surrounded by total strangers, but that was a small comfort when people kept placing hands on my abdomen and saying the oddest things. My personal bubble had been popped more times than I could count, and I felt violated.

"Why does everyone keep doing that?" I asked, when the scarred idiot Yamcha did the same thing.

"It's kind of a tradition," he said, removing the offending hand and taking a step back, "Sending positive energy to a new life."

I raised an eyebrow, "They shoot ki at it?"

He laughed and shook his head, "No, it's just a metaphor or something. More of a gesture than an actual thing."

"Then why do they do it?" I was puzzled. When you _could_ actually send energy into something, why just pretend to?

He shrugged, "It's a custom. That's just what you're supposed to do."

"Oh." And then he walked away, just like that.

Strange creatures, these humans. I might never get used to them.

Tess and Goten bumped into me a few minutes later. Both had smudges of frosting on their faces and were chatting amongst themselves.

"Where did you get that?" I asked the older of the two.

"What?" Goten asked.

"That pink frosting on your face,"

"Oh yeah, Bulma's mom baked a bunch of cupcakes. Why, you want some?"

I blinked, "No, that's repulsive. I was just asking. I don't want either of you spoiling your appetites, alright?"

They glanced at each other.

"Okay." Tess nodded.

"Aw, but they're really good!" Goten protested.

I glared at him.

"Okay, sheesh." He muttered, leading his younger counterpart away and resuming whatever conversation they'd been having.

I stepped out on the balcony to get some air and escape the crowd. The early February air was crisp and cold, but it felt nice after being stuck inside with all those people.

"How're you holding up?"

I jumped. Kakarot was standing a few feet away. I could tell he'd been out here awhile, and I wondered if he'd known I'd follow him eventually.

"Fine. I could use your help fending off the idiots, though."

"And what makes you think I'm any good at fending off anyone?" he smirked, "I'd likely just attract _more_ idiots, since I used to _be_ one."

I noticed that he didn't deny his old friends being idiots, nor the fact that he was no longer one of them. Time makes everyone change, and it had really caused a spectacular change in Kakarot… and in me.

"Yeah well, I could just threaten to kiss them, and then you'd blow their heads off and we'd be all set."

He looked at me, "I cannot believe you just said that."

"Because I suggested you'd blow their heads off, or because I suggested we'd be better off if you did?"

"Neither," he chuckled, "Because you suggested you'd _actually_ threaten to _kiss_ them."

I laughed with him for a moment, glad for the solitude to be able to do so.

"And what have you been doing?" I asked, "Hanging out here and pretending to be invisible?"

"Well, I tried some of the food first," he muttered.

"Now _that_ sounds like the Kakarot I know."

He started to laugh, but then his expression grew serious, "You're right. And I haven't said anything like that in a long time, I guess."

There was a moment of silence.

"Come on," he said eventually, "I'll walk you back inside."

I took a few steps following him, and then stopped.

"Shit." I said in almost a whisper.

"What?" he turned and looked at me concernedly.

"I… I've felt this before…" I said shakily.

"Felt what?" I could see panic beginning to spark in his eyes.

"Dammit, Kakarot, the baby's coming!"

TBC


	49. Chapter 49

_((Y'all ready for this? No sleep tonight, apparently, it's midnight, but I can't just leave a cliffhanger like that. So here we go; exactly twenty chapters after the first time…and yes, I did that on purpose._

_-Shinsun))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 49

"_Dammit, Kakarot, the baby's coming!"_

"Wh-what?" Kakarot said unsteadily, "A-are you sure?"

"No, I'm making it up," I snapped sarcastically, "What do you think?"

And, right on cue, a wrenching slash of pain gripped me and I sank to one knee, shivering and steadying myself with one hand.

"But… it hasn't even been eight months!" Kakarot objected as he bolted to my side and supported me over one shoulder, blatant fear in his eyes.

"Never…mind…that." I forced out through gritted teeth, "Just get… get Bulma."

He nodded and teleported. Luckily, the woman was alone for the most part; just talking to her mother about something. A second wracking bolt of pain arrived the moment my mate and I rematerialized. I clenched my teeth to keep from making a sound, not wanting to alert the other guests and cause a panic.

Kakarot started to explain frantically, but Bulma shushed him, "I know, I'll get my things. Just get him down to the lab, I'll be right there."

How the hell did she sound so calm?

Kakarot still looked terrified, but managed to get both of us to the lab in a matter of seconds.

'_It's too early…it's much too early…'_ was the same loop of thought repeating in his mind over and over.

"K - Stop it!" I commanded after he lay me on the medical table, "I'm freaked out as it is without _that_ running through my head!"

"Sorry," he said quickly.

Another contraction hit, and I couldn't silence a low groan of pain. I knew the worst was yet to come though, and I hoped Bulma had prepared for this birth more than she had the first one.

"It'll be alright," Kakarot said quietly, seeming to be trying to convince himself more than me, "It has to be."

Bulma showed up a few minutes later, and started setting up IV lines and such, all the while pelting Kakarot with rapid questions that I didn't even really hear.

"Well at least now we know what _not_ to do," she said eventually, "Vegeta, can you sit up for me?"

No fucking way.

I tried, but I was interrupted by a vicious contraction and couldn't find the strength to try again.

"I've got you," Kakarot murmured soothingly, hooking one arm under my shoulder and helping me to sit up.

"W-why do you need me to -?" I began once I found my voice. I glanced over my shoulder in time to see the point of a huge needle enter my spine. I winced, but realized it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I noticed that Kakarot looked away the whole time; still unable to bear the sight of needles even after all these years. Once the giant syringe was removed I was laid back down, and I felt…numb.

"Spinal epidural," Bulma explained, "Best kind of painkiller for this kind of thing."

"I thought you were still going to –" I began, but I was cut off by another cramp; this one much less painful than the ones before. Whatever that epidural thing was, it sure did its job.

"I'll add the anesthetic too once you adjust, but I need you to not feel anything at all during this."

"Why? I thought –" I was interrupted _again,_ this time by my mate.

"The baby will still be delivered by C-section, but we need you conscious this time," he said, "Last time it was a last resort and it was dangerous. Your body took a lot of strain; and if you were put under this time, you might not wake back up."

I saw the intensity in his eyes as he said that, and realized just how dead-serious the situation was.

After a long moment, I noticed that I couldn't feel anything at all from the ribs down, and when I tried to move my leg or tail, they ignored the command.

'_What the-?'_

'_Just relax, Vegeta.'_ Kakarot soothed, '_Bulma and I planned for it this time, don't worry.'_

Well he was a fine one to talk. The worry was so evident in his face and ki signature that it was like a tangible presence.

The woman draped a heavy cloth across my chest, and I started to ask what for, but Kakarot explained mentally. He said it was to keep my upper body relatively immobile and to keep me from interfering with the procedure, whether voluntarily or not. So it was like handcuffs for my chest. Great.

There was a long period of time when nothing seemed to happen, but I noticed Kakarot kept wincing for some reason.

'_When is the woman going to start?'_ I asked.

'_She did. A couple minutes ago.'_ He replied.

I blinked. Lying flat on my back, I couldn't see anything beyond the cloth she'd put on me, and I couldn't feel anything in my lower region, so I guess I didn't notice.

'_Why don't all humans do it this way? It's much easier.'_

'_It's a lot less "magical",'_ he muttered grimly, '_Harder to form a family moment off of. This was really only an emergency option for most.'_

'_Oh.'_ Now that I was informed of what was going on, I could feel… something that the woman was doing to me. It was like being poked with a dull toothpick. It didn't necessarily hurt, but it was a bit unsettling. The more disconcerting sensation came when the woman made an incision. It felt like my skin was being split, but without the pain that usually accompanied it; like it was being undone by a zipper.

Kakarot kept his eyes on my face from then on, his breathing controlled and deliberate, as if he was holding back a panic attack.

'_What's the matter?' _I asked carefully, flinching slightly as the woman did something I couldn't see or quite explain.

'_Nothing,'_ he lied, I gave him a reproachful look and he sighed, '_Okay fine. I… the last time this happened I made myself watch for most of it, and I had nightmares for three straight months afterwards. Now… I just can't get it out of my head, like it's burned behind my eyes.'_

'_You didn't tell me.'_

'_No. I d.. I didn't want you to worry. You had enough to think about with Tess being born and all.'_

'… _I didn't sense them…the nightmares, I mean…'_

'_I blocked them off from you,'_ he averted his gaze slightly, and then seemed to remember why he was fixing his eyes on mine, '_I couldn't stop them either way, the least I could do was see that you weren't burdened too.'_

For a moment I was irritated that he'd managed to keep secrets like that when I couldn't hide anything to save my life. And then I thought about it. He'd done it to protect me, and maybe to protect himself… and the nights early on where he'd woken up and refused to go back to sleep made a lot more sense now.

I felt a sensation like something being tugged from my lower region, and winced until the unearthly feeling stopped. I was surprised to find that I was covered in sweat when I hadn't really done any work, but I supposed it was work just to keep my body functioning normally right now, so…

Bulma waved a hand at Kakarot and he handed her a clean white towel. I tried to see what was going on, but I couldn't. The woman then handed the towel back to Kakarot, and it was wrapped around something small.

"Hold him for a second, I need to close the cut." She commanded. Kakarot nodded, but didn't move from where he was as I expected him to.

It's a strange feeling, to have someone sew your skin back together. And it was a small eternity of ticking seconds before she stopped.

"That should hold," The woman handed me a senzu and started bustling again.

I sat up slowly, surprised at being able to do so. That was _so_ much less traumatic than it had been the first time.

"Kakarot, why -?" I began, but he cut me off.

"The baby has to be put on life support for now," he said nervously, "He was born too early for us to trust him to breathe on his own."

'_Can I at least look at him?'_ I pleaded, swallowing the senzu dutifully.

"Alright." He said carefully, lowering the edge of the towel so I could see the infant's face.

He looked just like me. It was a bit startling, in fact. The only differences were that his hair was jet black and he had two unruly bangs that hung in his face like Vejito's had. He wasn't crying. He didn't even seem to be awake. My mind shied away from the other possibility; that he hadn't made it.

So small, so fragile. Hell, Kakarot's hand seemed bigger than he was. A ridiculous notion, but there it stayed.

I stood once the senzu had worked its magic. I was exhausted to the point of almost falling over, but a sense of fierce protectiveness for this new child kept me where I was. The woman came back, took the baby from out of his father's arms and attached a kind of headpiece to the little one's face, laying him in an elevated bed that I suspected had its own type of medical use. Much of the equipment seemed centered around his nose and mouth to keep him breathing. At least he _was_ breathing.

It seemed a little unfair to me; that such a small, innocent being could be subjugated to such trauma when he hadn't even opened his eyes, but the baby didn't protest, or even seem to move.

Kakarot and I stood near the raised bed, and I could feel the stress emanating from my mate and amplifying my own.

Then Kakarot said something that surprised me, '_He's so beautiful… Just like you.'_

I was silent, unsure how to respond to this.

"Can we name him Veito?" he asked after a moment.

The name had the same meaning that mine did, just a different rearranging of letters. It was just a step short of naming him after me.

"Of course," I said, "If that's what you want to call him."

My mate purred in approval and took my hand in his.

'_He'll be alright. I know he will.'_ He said with conviction.

"You've got another scar," he muttered, running a hand gingerly over my abdomen. I flinched as the area ached suddenly. The pain medicine must have worn off. I had taken a senzu to heal the worst of it, but even a magic bean couldn't heal everything.

"Yes, Kakarot. I'm covered in scars, if you haven't noticed."

"I know," he sighed, kissing my cheek, "I like them; I think each one tells a story."

Bulma bustled back in and hooked up an IV line to little Veito's arm, just above the inside of the elbow. The needle seemed huge when his arm was so small, and my heart ached in pity. Hardly ten minutes old, and he was already getting pricked with needles. I was further proven right in this as the woman first injected the infant with something, and then used _another_ needle to take a small amount of blood. Kakarot looked like he wanted to hit something, but he remained still.

And then the woman bustled back out again.

"You should sit down, Vegeta, you look half-dead on your feet." Kakarot said to me, pulling up two chairs and making a gesture inviting me to sit. I did as he said, but only because my legs felt like they wouldn't support me.

We sat there for a long time, watching our little son's tiny chest rise and fall shallowly as he breathed. After what felt like an hour, the infant wriggled in discomfort and let out a piercing cry to prove his unhappiness. Despite the fact that he was so small, the sound nearly deafened me, and I felt relieved. If he had the strength to produce a cry like that; he had the strength to fight for life.

'_He's got a set of lungs on him,'_ Kakarot said after a moment.

I agreed quietly and placed a hand on the side of the bed. I felt a sense of primal frustration that I couldn't hold and comfort the child as he made such plaintive cries. An instinctive desire to protect and nurture that I'd grown accustomed to with Tesserot; but I'd never had to resist it before, like I did now. Veito quieted after a while and fell asleep, and I felt inclined to join him in that.

And I did actually fall asleep on my mate's shoulder at some point, but I didn't dream. I just lingered in the blackness that surrounded my subconscious and let all the worry and stress melt from my mind.

For now.

TBC


	50. Chapter 50

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 50

I woke up sometime in the middle of the night. Kakarot had fallen asleep and had his face nestled in between my neck and shoulder; as if searching for comfort, but he had his tail resting on his newest son's cheek, and I knew he would wake up instantly if something wasn't right.

It wasn't dark in the lab by any means. The constant blinking lights and glow of technology didn't allow for it. I watched Veito sleep for measureless time, giving myself a few minutes to think.

If I counted Kakarot's sons and mine, I had five children now. That seemed like a lot, and I began questioning whether it was a good idea to risk having more. I wasn't as young as I used to be, and though Saiyans lived for centuries at best, it might be more of a risk than I was willing to take.

My mate stirred against my neck and he sat up, blinking sleep from his eyes. He looked at me, then at Veito, then back; and then he hugged me gently.

"I… I don't think we should have any more," I said quietly, "This is enough."

He nodded into my shoulder, "You're right."

Neither of us said anything for a while. I let myself breathe in his scent and revel in his warmth, a sense of comfort descending on me. But I couldn't banish the worries jostling around in my head.

'_I'm scared,'_ I admitted in a mental whisper.

"Why?" he breathed into my neck.

'_Not for me. I'm scared for Veito.'_

Understanding made his ki sharpen a little, and he held me tighter, '…_He'll be okay. You'll see,"_

I could feel the fierce protectiveness flooding from him, both towards me and towards all of his children. '_I'm just glad both of you made it out alive.'_

X

Bulma came back eventually. In one hand she held a stack of papers; in the other she held a baby bottle. She handed the latter to me and sat down next to Kakarot, who turned his attention from stroking my hair soothingly to listen to whatever she'd come to say.

"See if you can wake him up," she said to me, "_gently."_

I nodded and stood up, leaning over the tiny, sleeping form of Veito. Slowly, I brushed my tail against his little cheek, faltering over the tubing taped under his nose to help him breathe, and moving his two little bangs away from his eyes. The baby squirmed with a discomforted whimper; his little black tail curling slightly, his eyes still squeezed shut. I held the nipple of the bottle up to his mouth, purring quietly for him and wrapping him in a serene aura of my ki.

"Come on, Veito," I whispered, "Eat your breakfast."

He turned away from the bottle's nipple pointedly, his eyes still stubbornly closed. He was so small that the pout was extremely adorable, but also frustrating. I had to get him to eat somehow.

I tried everything short of forcing him, and I wasn't about to do that. After a seeming eternity of attempting and failing, I sat down with a defeated sigh, glaring at the untouched bottle in my hand.

"He won't eat." I said tightly, more stating the fact to myself than to anyone in particular.

Bulma blinked at me, "I wasn't sure if he would," she muttered, stretching as she stood up, "No matter, I can just adjust the IV to give him nutrition by fluids."

"Is that… is that safe?" I asked uncertainly.

"Perfectly safe," she assured me, "Hospitals do it all the time; though I'll admit your concern is pretty touching."

I let her scientific positivity siphon off some of the stress weighing on me, but nowhere near all of it.

'_She doesn't understand Saiyan bonds,'_ my mate said once she left, '_And you can't ask her to do any such thing. She's only human.'_

"What did she say to you?"

He let me lean against his shoulder before he spoke, "She said she was running tests on the blood she took to make sure he's healthy and that nothing's wrong."

"And…?"

"Nothing so far; his immune system is really low, but that's to be expected since he was born so early."

I found myself praying to whatever gods would listen that she wouldn't find anything else… that the innocent little child would be okay.

"What about you?" Kakarot asked me, "How do you feel?"

"Physically? Like shit. I feel like someone flattened me with a steam roller. Mentally?... I'm not sure. I just want this all to be over so we can go home."

He looked at me with an expression that was very hard to describe.

"But I'll stay here," I conceded, "As long as it takes for Veito to be well enough to go home too."

X

Gohan, Goten, Trunks and Tess came to Capsule Corp the next day. Kakarot and I had stayed the night, both of us vehemently refusing to leave every time Bulma suggested it. So she stopped asking after a while and just let us be.

"Is that him?" Goten asked as he peered over the side of the newborn baby's bed.

I nodded but said nothing. I was a little nervous about other people seeing Veito right now, mostly because they could bring in a shitload of germs and other such evil things that could hurt his unstable immune system.

While the youngest three of the group watched the infant sleep, Gohan pulled his father aside, asking to talk to him. I sensed I wasn't welcome in the discussion, but kept one ear open anyway. I think they knew I'd eavesdrop either way, or they would have left the room.

"I got a call from Bulma," Gohan said to Kakarot in an undertone, "I assume she talked to you too?"

"Yeah," Kakarot replied, "About Veito's DNA, right?"

"That's right. She said she didn't even think it important enough to study at first, but something was… _is_ seriously messed up with his genetics."

I felt something constrict my heart. What had happened? What had the woman found?

"Didn't she say -?" Kakarot began, he swallowed and pressed on, "About his genetic code… she said somehow his chromosomes were YY right?"

"Yeah. Wow, I wasn't sure if you'd understand it." The demi said.

"I think I know why, too." Kakarot said carefully, "Because Vegeta is still male, whether he can conceive or not, his genetics are still XY, so it's possible for _both_ of us to give a Y chromosome, and I guess that's what happened here."

I could almost hear Gohan's brain catch up with reality in the second of silence that followed. Honestly, I was a little surprised myself that Kakarot possessed such intellect, but not as surprised as his son was.

"Gods, and I thought _I_ was smarter than _you."_ He said eventually.

"You are," Kakarot said modestly, "It's just a guess."

"A pretty damn accurate guess," Gohan pressed, "Think about it. Vegeta only has one heir that he hasn't borne himself, and that's Trunks. If we allow that he's had this hermaphrodite gene his entire life, he would have _had_ to have both an X and a Y or Trunks would ended up as female."

Okay, now _I_ was having a hard time keeping up with this; but I supposed I could understand what it meant.

_Oh, gods… I created a gender…_

"But what does it mean for Veito?" Kakarot asked, "Bulma didn't say how it would affect _him."_

"I'm not sure," Gohan admitted, "This is completely unheard of. Only time will tell… _if_ he doesn't –"

"Stop." Kakarot snapped, "Don't even finish that sentence, alright?"

"…Alright." The demi said apologetically.

And then Gohan walked away, probably to talk to Bulma about his new collection of theories.

'_You heard all of that, right?'_ my mate asked me.

'_Yes. But I'm not sure I believe it.'_

'_I didn't either until I saw it for myself. Bulma's data doesn't lie.'_

'_Gods, Kakarot, what have we done?'_ I breathed, '_We forced this__**… **__whatever it is… onto an innocent child! He didn't ask for this!'_

_'Well he hasn't got a lot of choice now, does he?'_ I didn't like the slightly bitter note in his words.

'_What…what might happen? What could result from this?" _I almost didn't want to know the answer to that.

'_I don't know. No one does.'_

_'A guess?'_

He turned and looked at me, and I was startled by the amount of guilt and turmoil in his eyes.

'_My guess is… with the instability resulting from something that should be universally impossible, his mind and body could come undone completely. Maybe years from now, if he… if he lives that long,'_ I could tell he hated to say that, but he continued anyway, '_Fuck, anything could happen. But half of the scenarios I've come up with would more than likely result in him self-destructing or something.'_

I winced, both at the bluntness of his tone, and what he was implying.

In being able to create life, I perhaps had the potential to also destroy it in the worst way. After all, it was me that influenced the change in Veito's DNA; if I were fully female, or fully male, it wouldn't have been possible.

Being born far ahead of his time was the least of Veito's problems now. And the uncertainty of whatever future lay ahead of him was enough to terrify me; mostly because it was entirely my fault.

TBC

((_Short chapter, sorry. And I'm a little… dramatic…. But I needed a new plot problem before I wrap this story up and start on the sequel – yes, you heard right. I'm not quite finished with this story yet though, don't worry; give it a few more chapters and I will be. Thanks for all the nice reviews, I love you guys!_

_-Shinsun))_


	51. Chapter 51

_((Sorry if my formatting is a little different. Im not using Word anymore because my trial expired – I didnt even know I had it on trial, new computer, dont ask – and I can't afford to buy the full version because – sadly – im still not free of the curse called high school and that means I have no money. So now ill be typing in OpenOffice, and I hope ffnet doesn't mess it up or anything._

_Thanks, as always, for reading_

_-Shinsun))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 51

A few days passed. I found myself just sitting there, next to Veito's bed, my tail ticking against the side of my chair. Several times, Kakarot asked if I wanted anything to eat, or if I needed to stretch my legs or get a drink of water. His concern was evident, and I knew he didn't believe me when I told him I was fine. Many hours went by where he would just sit next to me and watch me, his expression totally unreadable. Sometimes his tail would twine with mine or he'd hold my hand gently, but he didn't say anything usually. He knew I was worried beyond belief and wouldn't leave until Veito's fate was finalized, one way or the other.

Tess visited often, whenever Gohan could spare the time to bring him here. He was staying with the demis right now at Kakarot's house, but I also knew that he knew something was up. Usually he'd come sit in my lap and watch his little brother sleep, or he'd talk to his father in an undertone about the goings on outside the lab room. Kakarot was patient with him and nodded with interest and respond as necessary when the child told him about the games he'd played with Goten and Trunks, or about something cool he'd seen or done; but I could tell my mate was itching to be out there, in the outside world, and that he was slightly envious of his son's carefree liberation. A free spirit like Kakarot wasn't meant to be stuck in a confined little room like this, but he refused to leave until I did. More than once I asked if he wanted to leave and said I would be fine if he did, but he'd shake his head fervently and repeat the same thing every time.

"Not until you're ready, I won't go anywhere without you."

And that's pretty much how those days went by. Bulma flitted in and out occasionally, adjusting, conversing or observing. She didn't stay long, though, and I think she felt a little out of place here.

She was passing by the chair where I sat one day; Kakarot had fallen asleep with his head in my lap, and I was stroking his hair gently, and she paused slightly when I looked up at her.

"Woman..." I began slowly, "...Thanks."

She looked like she might faint from shock, but she just stared, her blue eyes wide.

"For what?"

I shrugged, "For everything I guess,"

She blinked a few times, "Uh... you're welcome... I just... I don't think you've _ever _thanked me for anything before."

I flushed slightly and dropped my gaze to my mate's sleeping face, "Well _someone_ had to."

She looked at me for a moment, probably debating whether to say something else, and then left, leaving the atmosphere just slightly awkward.

X

The next day was the same as all the rest. I stood next to Veito's bed for a long time, murmuring a Saiyan lullaby and brushing my tail across his little cheek. I wished I could hold him and protect him, but I also wished he'd get better, and I couldn't have both. Kakarot was in a chair a few feet away, his eyes downcast and shadowed by his bangs, muttering to himself. He did that a lot lately, and I wondered if he was organizing his thoughts or if he was praying. Maybe both.

Bulma bustled in and both of us looked up, expecting her to examine the little child and jot something down and leave. But she didn't.

"Everything's stabilized for the most part," she reported, "He can go home now. He's alright."

Kakarot reacted first. He stood up and hugged the woman, and my Saiyan hearing picked up his whispered "thank the gods".

"Just be careful," she said, extricating herself from her oldest friend's grip, "And if anything doesn't seem right, bring him here immediately. Don't try to fix it on your own or say it's nothing, okay?"

I nodded quickly, relief sweeping through me.

The woman carefully removed the IV line from Veito's arm and took him off of life support. There was a tense moment of silence, waiting for him to react and take a breath on his own. Saiyan development was rapid, but it was possible that it wouldn't be enough.

Veito curled up slightly, the look of discomfort that had been stuck on his face for days lifting just a little, and Bulma placed a gentle finger on the side of his little neck.

"His pulse is fine, and he's breathing normally." she announced, "Go ahead, Vegeta."

I think she could tell I was waiting to be able to hold him, but once I was given permission, I was unsure. What if my Saiyan strength got the better of me and I hurt him? What if something went wrong? And.. a slightly more naif thought perhaps, what if he didn't recognize me as his parent?

I tentatively touched his shoulder, his skin was still a little feverish like it had been since birth, but it was smooth as satin, unblemished and soft as only an infant's can be. As gently as I possibly could, I lifted him and brought him to my chest, cradling my little son for the first time. He moved a little with a faint whimpering sound, and then put his tiny fist in his mouth, his thin tail wrapping around my wrist in an instinctive gesture of complete trust. I felt an ache of intense affection in my throat and purred quietly, thanking the gods that he was alright. I looked up at Kakarot and saw him smiling in understanding. He knew exactly how I felt, because he felt the same.

Bulma handed me a blanket and stood away as my mate approached me, giving him space. I wrapped Veito in the blanket to keep him warm and leaned against Kakarot, echoing his deep purr with my own.

"Let's go home," he said, placing a hand on my shoulder and nodding to Bulma before teleporting.

X

Gohan greeted us and smiled at his little brother, explaining that Tess and the younger demis were asleep. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost five a.m. I hadn't really had a sense of time when in that lab, so I was a little surprised.

Kakarot mumbled something and flicked his tail alongside mine, "Come on, Vegeta, you need to sleep."

"I'm not -" I began, but he cut me off lightly.

"Yes you are. I can tell. Besides, Veito needs you and I don't think he's going to let go of your shirt anytime soon."

I looked down at the child in question. Indeed his little hand was gripping the front of my shirt and his face was nestled to my chest, as if my presence was comforting to him.

"I'll go with you," my mate offered, "I could use the rest too. Gohan, how long have you been up?"

The demi shrugged, "Ten minutes?"

His father nodded slightly, probably glad that _someone_ had gotten some sleep.

"Can you make the kids breakfast when they wake up and get Trunks and Goten ready for school?"

"Dad," Gohan smirked, "It's Saturday. But sure, I'll make them breakfast."

"Thanks," Kakarot muttered embarrassedly, steering me to the stairs.

He lay down next to me in our bed with Veito curled up between us.

"Wake me up if anything's wrong," my mate murmured, resting his forehead against mine gently. I nodded and held Veito close to me, purring softly. I heard a very soft, high flutter of an answering purr from the little child, and smiled to myself as I fell into a half-sleep, keeping half of my consciousness focused on monitoring the ki of the baby. I promised silently that I wouldn't let anything happen to him; not now, not ever.

X

I remembered when I used to wake up to Tess crying at the crack of dawn. But Veito was totally silent as I woke up the next day – having slept through the whole day and the whole night. At first I was worried that something had happened, but he was fine; just quiet.

"Do you think he's hungry?" I asked my mate who was still lying next to me, watching the infant as I was.

He shrugged, "Hard to tell when he's not screaming,"

I agreed silently and started to get up. I had hardly moved, but Veito tightened his grip on my shirt with both fists, making a very small whimper of protest.

"Clingy, isn't he?" Kakarot smiled, "Hang on, I'll make him a bottle and we'll see if he'll eat."

With that he got to his feet and left, stretching his arms over his head and flicking his tail. I lay back next to Veito, unwilling to move and make him unhappy. It was a nice feeling, for him to be so dependent on me, but I wondered if I'd ever be able to go anywhere if he wouldn't let me leave him at all. I supposed it wouldn't be so bad, at least for now. If he was happy, I was happy.

I often wondered if Veito was comatose or something... he never seemed to wake up fully and seemed almost unaware of the things around him. He hadn't even opened his eyes. And I wondered if that would affect him in the future; surely he couldn't stay like that?

I paid my worries little mind, though. I had to believe things would get better, or I wouldn't be able to live with myself. So much had gone wrong already, but there had also been good times, and I hoped there would be more.

Kakarot returned and handed me a warm bottle of the formula Bulma created. Much like what humans use as a milk supplement, except tailored to a Saiyan appetite and metabolism.

I trilled a light purr for Veito and sat up, encouraging him to drink from the bottle and mentally crossing my fingers for luck. If he still wouldn't eat, he'd have to go back to Capsule Corp and be put on an IV and I _really_ didn't think I could handle that.

Veito didn't seem to notice the bottle at all, and I felt my hopes sink slightly.

Kakarot's eyebrows furrowed in consternation, and then he sat up straight, "I have an idea."

He left again without explanation and returned with a jar of something in his hand. He took the bottle from me and unscrewed the lid of the jar.

"What are you doing?" I asked curiously.

"It's honey," he explained, dipping his finger in the jar and smearing some of the golden stuff on the nipple of the bottle, "I remember Bulma's mom saying that when she had to care for baby animals and they wouldn't eat, she'd put honey on the end of the bottle. That way, they learned to suckle on their own because they like the taste."

It made sense, and Bulma's mother did have like thirty different pets, so she would know.

"You think it'll work?" I asked.

He looked at me for a moment, "I don't know. Maybe."

He closed the jar and held the bottle close to Veito's mouth.

"Come on, son," he murmured, "Please?"

It might have been the honey, or it might have been his father's voice; hell it could have been pure, dumb luck, but Veito actually took the nipple of the bottle in his mouth and sucked on it, first tentatively, and then steadily once he figured out the process.

I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath until I let it out in a rush.

"It worked," I breathed, "That was genius, Kakarot. How did you remember something like that for so long?"

He shrugged slightly, "Dunno."

I laid an arm around his shoulders, watching our son eat his first real breakfast.

'_He's going to grow up strong,'_ Kakarot murmured, '_And unique and beautiful, like you.'_

I didn't have the heart to call him a sentimental sap; he seemed so sincere.

Eventually, Veito let go of the bottle and snuggled up next to my chest. He hadn't eaten a lot, but at least he had. Before long, he was asleep again.

"Must be exhausting," I muttered, "Being so young and small and going through what he's gone through."

"I can't wait until he opens his eyes," Kakarot said, "I want to know if they're like yours."

"Kakarot, both of us have black eyes, why would -?" I began.

"Yeah but yours are different," he insisted, feathering his tail over my eyelid, "Endless, sharp; like fire, except dark."

I couldn't think of a response to that, and once I did it sounded insufficient in my head.

"Get some rest, Vegeta." he said quietly, "You still look worn out. I won't go far, but someone has to help Gohan with the kids and Tess could use some attention."

I started to protest, but realized I couldn't very well leave either way. Veito would have none of it. So I just lay down as he said and tried to rest, shutting out my nattering thoughts and breathing in Veito's scent. While he looked almost exactly like me, his scent was like his father's, and it comforted me as I drifted to sleep, thinking of soothing things and keeping the baby warm against my chest.

TBC

_(( For those of you who are interested enough to care, I have a family portrait for this story up on my DA page. The link to my deviantart is in my profile and it should be right there in my gallery, ffnet wont let me put links in my documents, sorry. I'll color it eventually, though, so it should look better soon. Only a few more chapters until this story comes to an end, and I already know what the ending will be – but im not telling so dont ask. And I did promise to write a sequel, the title of which will be revealed in the last chapter of this._

_Thanks for all the reviews, guys, I love you all!_

_-Shinsun))_


	52. Chapter 52

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 52

Veito seemed to grow extremely slowly. A week went by before he opened his eyes, which – like Kakarot predicted – were just like mine. And even then, he didn't lose his clingy nature. He was reluctant to let me go even for a minute, but didn't demonstrate the same attachment to his father or anyone else, to Kakarot's slight disappointment. Don't get me wrong, he didn't protest when people held him and he treated most everyone the same. And I'd say he didn't pick favorites if he didn't obviously prefer me. I waited to feel the vain pride that I was by far his favorite, and was surprised when I didn't. I suppose what little I retained of my princely nature didn't extend as far as my children; and to be honest, I was glad it didn't.

Eventually Veito found a favorite spot to be. He really liked to loop his little arms around my neck and sit or lie on my shoulders. At first it was inconvenient and I had a hard time functioning my arms or anything, but as he gained balance and I gained creativity, I hardly noticed he was there anymore. Sometimes he fell asleep there, and I just let him be; careful not to bump or jostle him and wake him up. Goten called him a little parasite, but he said it with a smile, so I didn't reprimand it; and pretty soon Veito's nickname became "the leech."

I noticed that Tess was acting a little different. I guess that was to be expected; he had a new brother and was probably confused by that. He just got kind of... possessive. Really it was just over attention; he wanted people to notice him, and took to randomly disappearing and hiding or flying off – since he'd gotten better at it – knowing either Kakarot, Gohan or I would go after him and ask what was wrong or lightly punish him. Maybe neutral or negative attention was better than none in his eyes, and I had to remind him more than once that no matter how much Veito had become a part of our lives, he wasn't _replacing_ Tess.

Goten and Trunks seemed to notice Tess's behavior too, and both took it upon themselves to play with him and talk to him and even train with him when they could – though they were obviously gentle with him. I halfheartedly wished I could be there to teach my son to fight, but I couldn't do so with Veito stuck to me like a magnet. To my slight surprise, Trunks was actually a great teacher, and his demonstrations with Goten taught Tesserot a lot and made him feel special. Everybody wins.

I was slow to realize that that wasn't exactly true. There was one person who seemed to gain little or nothing from all this. And – you guessed it – it was Kakarot.

He'd tried to help me with Veito at first, but there wasn't a whole lot he could do, and while Veito liked his father a lot, he just didn't respond to him the way he did to me. So he tried to help Trunks and Goten give Tess attention; but they had it covered, and the one time he _did_ help train his son, he accidentally hit Trunks too hard in a demonstration; and while Trunks assured him it was fine, he didn't try again afterwards and seemed to beat himself up over it pretty badly.

Gohan spent most of his time with Videl, and said he was planning to ask her to marry him... so in short, Kakarot was alone. Not literally, but I could tell he felt that way. And with his youngest son still so small and spending so much of his time around me, he couldn't even confide in his mate anymore. I asked him about it more than once, and he just shook his head and said he'd get by, but I could sense how little he meant it in his energy.

Though he was obviously dejected, he didn't spend his time feeling sorry for himself, and shrugged it off whenever someone else tried to pity him. I knew he was frustrated, but he put it into his own training, and the people of West City must have been getting suspicious of the number of islands being destroyed for no reason.

When around his sons, Kakarot was the picture of a good father. He advised Gohan when he was around about how to proceed with his proposal to Videl. He listened to the troubles of the young teenage demis and was a sympathetic ear for their irritation with school, he was kind to Tess and gentle with Veito, but... there was just something missing about him. And I didn't put my finger on it until Veito was a month old.

"What's gotten into you?" I asked him one day when he was off by himself, training as usual. He paused in the middle of a kata and blinked at me.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie," I adjusted Veito's grip around my shoulders, glad it wasn't too cold today or I couldn't have taken him outside, "What's wrong?"

His gaze shot to the little one on my shoulder, but he said nothing.

"What? You're jealous of someone, that much I can tell. You think Veito's favoritism is unfair, or -?"

I sensed something in his energy and I understood.

"Wait," I said slowly, "You're not jealous of me... you're jealous of _Veito_."

He averted his gaze and shrugged irritably, "What of it?" I noted that he didn't even try to deny it.

"Why on Earth would you be jealous of an infant, Kakarot?"

He turned his back on me slightly, tail lashing.

"Kakarot, seriously, what's wrong?"

He whipped back around, opening his mouth to retort, and closed it again. I watched him struggle and eventually he just slumped unhappily.

"He gets _all_ of your attention," he muttered, almost too quietly to hear, "You're never away from him for a second, and I miss you. I miss _us."_

I just looked at him incredulously.

"You do realize how selfish that sounds, right? I've been around you all the time, and I'm always there in your mind. We haven't been apart at all."

He was silent for a moment, seeming to be debating whether to just walk away.

"You've been like this for a while," I pressed, "I wouldn't think you of all people would go for self-pity. What exactly do you want from me -?"

He cut me off, and I was surprised to hear him shouting, "I want half a second where it's just you and me! You don't know what it's like, you're not -!" he swallowed and went on, calming slightly, "Vegeta, I haven't been alone with you since Veito was born, I haven't kissed you in over two months, and I haven't..." he broke off, looking angry again.

I blinked, my mouth still slightly ajar. This was really important to him, I could tell. I hadn't even _thought_ about anything like that since... I couldn't remember when. I'd been too worried about Veito and whether he'd be okay than about _Kakarot's_ needs. And I guess he was right, I didn't know what it was like because I'd never be a dominant male, I'd never feel all the things he did, and going - gods, _how_ long? - without any physical contact at all must be... frustrating.

"I didn't know it would matter to you that much," I said carefully, "You weren't like this when Tess was little."

He fisted his hands in his hair and grit his teeth, "I know, I just... Remember what you said? About Saiyan male hormones going into overdrive when their pack gets bigger? I just can't -" he exhaled quickly and continued in his mind, '_I feel like... I need... I need to fuck you so bad right now...'_

I was a little startled by his language, but I also registered a rush of pity. Kakarot never asked for all these crazy urges, and while my hormones were only the worst when I was pregnant or in heat, he was stuck with them twenty-four-seven.

I glanced at Veito, asleep on my shoulder. He wouldn't be happy if I had to leave him, and I was reluctant to do that anyway, but I could also see the slight forlornness in my mate's gaze, as if he thought I'd choose the child over him – like I _always _had, I realized - and just leave him to suffer on his own. I couldn't do that to him.

"How bad is it?" I asked quietly, trying to read his expression.

A shiver ran visibly down his body, "Gods, I want you so much it hurts," he said shakily.

I looked from my mate, to my son, and back. I sighed softly.

"Then you can have me."

He blinked and looked up in disbelief, as if he'd been sure I'd refuse.

"I can leave Veito with Gohan for one night," I said, "He'll be fine."

"Y-you mean it?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Sure, why not? If it'll make you happy and you'll stop _glaring_ at everyone."

He laughed a little, "Yeah, I guess I have been a bit of a wet blanket lately... Sorry."

X

"Okay, where do we go?" I asked once I'd gotten Veito settled in Gohan's lap and rejoined my mate outside. Gohan hadn't been thrilled to be stuck as babysitter again, but he didn't complain either.

"Capsule Corp?" he suggested, "Bulma and her parents are gone for the weekend,"

"But the door would be locked," I pointed out.

"The door, maybe, but the upstairs windows don't have locks on them."

I raised an eyebrow, "You're suggesting we break into Bulma's house?"

"Not _'break in'_," he objected, "Just... _borrow."_

I crossed my arms disapprovingly.

"It's that or get pounded into a cliff wall," he said smoothly.

It would have been funny if he weren't actually serious.

"Alright, I'm in."

X

Turns out, Kakarot was right, and the upstairs bedroom window slid open without a problem. The lights were all off and there wasn't a ki signal to speak of. Everyone was gone like he said.

He slid the window closed behind us and leapt lightly from the windowsill, turning to face me.

I waited for some kind of signal, some kind of implication from him, but he just looked at me. I took a step towards him, trying to decipher his thoughts through his eyes.

He breathed one word, so dark and laced with need I almost didn't understand it.

"_Finally._"

His hands moved from where they were at his sides and landed on my shoulders, slowly trailing down my shoulder blades as if rediscovering them. Strong arms hugged my spine, pulling me almost desperately against my mate's body. He tipped my head up and engulfed my mouth with his own, shaking just slightly against me and crushing me to him.

I reached up and held the back of his neck, increasing the pressure as I pulled him down to my height. I invaded his pliant mouth with my tongue and he groaned softly.

'_Gods, Vegeta, if you knew what you do to me...'_ he panted in my mind.

I smirked against his mouth and coiled my tail around his, '_I do.'_

With that I extricated myself from his grasp and disconnected our mouths, ignoring his sound of protest.

I removed my shirt slowly and let it fall to the floor, then moved back in to kiss my mate again.

"Fucking tease," he muttered, shivering as my tail snaked along his own, fluffing the fur together.

"I've been a bad influence on your vocabulary," I smirked.

"You've been a bad influence overall," he answered, still shaking involuntarily.

I laughed shortly and let him pin me to the bed. He leaned down and nuzzled the side of my neck, purring darkly in the sexual way that he only ever used on me. His tail coiled around my thigh and one hand traced one of the two vertical scars down my stomach, making me shiver at the contact. He was already painfully aroused, but he took his time, making sure I was the same way before he went any further.

I tugged on his bangs, pulling him down to steal his mouth again roughly, and he complied with a jagged exhalation, still - frustratingly - fully clothed.

He must have sensed my almost frantic thoughts, because he chuckled low and kissed the end of my nose, "Patience, we've got all night."

'_I need you, yes, but I want to savor this,'_ he murmured mentally, cupping my cheek in his hand.

_'Why_?' I breathed, arching off the bed with a moan as he brushed a hand against the sensitive skin of my waistline.

He laughed again, but this time it had an almost esurient tone, '_You're just that good.'_

He licked along my jugular and buried a purr in the soft skin there, '_Your taste, your scent,'_ he nipped and a sharp gasp escaped me, '_your voice...'_

Then he stopped and looked at me for a moment before smirking and taking possession of my mouth again, '_I just can't get enough of you.'_

Gods, I could come right now, but I reminded myself that this was for Kakarot, and now was the time to think about _his _needs, not my own.

His scorching tongue slipped between my lips and delved into my mouth, his pulse racing under his shirt, against the hand I'd pressed to his chest. He slid my jeans down to the knee, kneeling between my thighs and peeling off his own tight leather pants. He lay over me, and my breath caught as his naked arousal kissed mine. Every time, every _single_ time, the contradiction of his calefacient body and subzero scent overwhelmed me. I thought I'd gotten ahold of myself, but then he moved his hips, his hardness rubbing agonizingly over my own, and a groan that tore from the center of my being left me.

Kakarot's whole body trembled and he choked a breath, tensing and relaxing by inch as he fought for control over himself. The hand I had touching his shirt fisted in the fabric, and with a hissing rip, the whole thing was rended in two.

'_Had enough yet?'_ I asked, waiting for him to get to the point.

He shook his head, '_More... I need more of you,'_

Thinking that the only way he could possibly get _more_ of me would be if he devoured me whole, I shrugged and leaned up to capture his lips again, trying to satiate the burning need pulsing from his very skin. How long he'd been waiting for this, I didn't know, but I knew he had been. Hell, I couldn't even _remember_ the last time we'd just done this. It had always been about the sex, but I guess that wasn't it now. Well then, what _did_ Kakarot want? He'd said he'd needed to fuck me, but there was a serious lack of fucking going on right now, and he sure as hell was taking his time getting there.

Kakarot's hand trailed from my hip to my leg, lightly teasing the sensitivity of the inside of my thigh, and his mouth traveled from mine to worship just about every inch of my chest. And I mean that literally, it was like he was trying to memorize me by taste alone. He even broke the skin a few times, only to sooth and lick away the blood with his fiery tongue.

And of course, once he'd gotten a taste of blood, he moved up and pressed his mouth to the mark on my shoulder, kissing it slowly before lightly scraping with his teeth. Blood was just beginning to leak through when I felt the pressure building in me reach a peak. I held my breath, trying to get back down again.

'_Go ahead, Vegeta,'_ Kakarot said sleekly, '_We've got all night, remember?'_

I exhaled explosively and let myself crest that peak; I came with a scream as Kakarot's teeth sank all the way into my mark. And I felt his pleasure. It paled next to the utter bliss I was experiencing, but it was more like a self-pleased emotion. He was proud that he could satisfy me so thoroughly, when no one else on Earth could. A protective pride, then.

"Catch your breath," he said softly, licking the red from his teeth and lips, "And then we'll get to the point."

I was breathing hard, still coming down from cloud nine, and I kissed his shoulder gently, '_Thank you for this.'_

How had he known? I hadn't even known myself that I needed this so much, this release, this togetherness and love that I could only find in my mate. This wasn't a selfish conquest, he was trying to help me too. Showing me I needed to take a break and just let go.

"Okay," I panted, "I'm ready."

Kakarot smiled and kissed me long and hard. I closed my eyes and just let myself drown in his fire, growing aroused again as his talented lips and tongue made short work of my mouth.

A rush of daring ran through me and I flipped our positions so that he was beneath me. Instantly, I felt his wariness and heard the beginning of a growl in his throat.

"What are you -?" he began.

"Trust me," I breathed, kissing his throat gently.

He melted for a moment, but then tensed again as I stroked a hand down his chest.

"You can't, I'm not -" he growled.

"You're not what?" I said easily. I knew his nature; I knew I wouldn't be able to tame him or anything, but I did like this change of perspective.

"It's not right," Kakarot muttered, "I can't be -"

"I know," I purred, swallowing his protests with a gentle kiss, "I know, and you'll still be the one on top; so to speak, don't worry."

He visibly relaxed, leaning up to cover my mouth with his. I wasn't trying to dominate, but I think the panic when he thought I was was a little surprising.

He flicked his tail across my chest and down, feathering along the inside of my hip and behind my knee.

'_Ready?'_ he asked, still seeming a little hesitant about this switch from our usual.

I nodded and braced my hands against his shoulders to keep my balance. He spat in his hand, slicking himself carefully and meeting my eye. I let my eyes slip closed again and slowly impaled myself on him; this time I could set the pace of entry. Once he was fully sheathed, he waited for me to adjust, and then began to move. Just a slow, rocking pace that lifted me from him a little each time. I could sense how inventive he had to be to keep up some kind of leverage, and before long, he let go and started voicing his own pleasure in short moans that mingled with mine. I cried out, throwing my head back as – with the angle he'd created – he struck _both_ of my pleasure centers at once, causing some kind of new brand of seventh heaven.

The vocalization seemed to break Kakarot's resolve, and he flipped me on my back, using the momentum to thrust in deep – eliciting a ragged groan from me - as he assumed his rightful place back on top. From there, he drove in harder, faster, having no need to hold back and taking advantage of that. His breathing was rough and fast, like his pace, and he shredded the sheets around him, gasping my name between hammering thrusts. He kissed me thrillingly, both of us powering to Super Saiyan with a dual scream that disconnected our lips as we came in unison, the vituperative aura of our twined ki ricocheting everywhere and lighting up the whole room.

Kakarot collapsed over me, stopping his fall to keep from crushing me, and rolling onto his back by my side. His chest was heaving, and sweat glistened on his skin like a sheen of jewels. I was gasping for breath unevenly, perspiring to the roots of my hair, my heart beating out of time at a rapid gallop.

I heard Kakarot laughing breathlessly, and looked at him again.

"What?" I panted.

He looked at me with amusement lighting his coal eyes.

"Man," he said, gesturing at the singed, soaked, shredded bedding around us, "Bulma is going to be _pissed._"

TBC


	53. Chapter 53

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 53

We lay there for a while. Capsule Corp was dark and quiet, and for once no one was asking anything from me. So I let myself relax and listen to the soft sound of Kakarot breathing beside me. Bulma was going to be a nightmare when she found out what we did to her bed – the sheets and blankets were totally ruined and more than half of the springs and support beams had been broken – but for the moment, I didn't really care.

Sleep was a novelty we didn't have the authority to indulge in, however, so after resting for a few minutes, we got up and peeled the brutalized bedding from the mattress, tossing it in the garbage and straightening the bed reasonably.

Kakarot glanced at himself and grimaced, "We should probably take a shower before we head back."

I nodded and followed him down the hall to Capsule Corp's huge bathroom. I kind of felt like an intruder here, which was strange because barely two years ago this had been the closest thing to a home that I'd ever had.

The hot water pouring down my shoulders and back did nothing to clear my mind, and I slipped into a kind of haze, where memory and reality mingled until I wasn't sure which one I belonged in. I felt Kakarot's gentle hands smoothing soap over my chest, but my skin also remembered the touch of lips and teeth, and I could blend the sensations together in my mind.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" my mate asked, slicking my tail with suds.

_...You're just that good... more... I need more of you..._ words from before echoed in my mind, and I shifted slightly, remembering.

"You," I muttered, skating a hand over his shoulder and coating it in lather.

A simple smile came to rest on his lips as he touched them to mine, and I had to remind myself as that moment stretched that it couldn't last forever.

X

We returned just before dawn, and everyone was sound asleep. The air was very peaceful, and I reveled in the silence. It was such a rarity nowadays. Goten and Trunks were sleeping in their room – which they shared now – but as I glanced into Gohan's room it was a different sight from his usual solitude.

Gohan, Tess and Veito were all curled up together, fast asleep. I assumed Veito had been unwilling to let go of Gohan and had been stuck to him since I left, but I did wonder about Tesserot. Maybe he'd gotten scared in the absence of his parents and crawled into bed with the older demi. Or maybe Gohan had invited him. Regardless, all was well here and the scene was pretty damn adorable, I'll admit.

Kakarot's tail twined with mine and he leaned against me, obviously seeing what I had.

'_We're all one big family now,'_ he murmured, '_It's really nice.'_

I agreed silently, and then joined him in our bed for some much-needed sleep.

X

The next day the weather was fair, and Bulma stopped by... not just to rant at Kakarot and me, I learned – though there was quite a lot of ranting – but to invite us to come to the beach with her and Yamcha. By us, she meant everyone, even Veito. Obviously it was too cold to swim or anything, it was still March, but she said it was just a chance to hang out and get some fresh air. While I didn't fancy spending the day with the idiot Yamcha and the irritating woman, apparently I got dragged into it by default since no one else was opposed.

Well, it wasn't that bad, actually. The breeze was nice and it was good to be out of the house. Gods know the younger demis needed an outlet for their energy, and apparently chasing each other in the grass and sand was a good way for them to let loose. Gohan read in the shade, and I joined him there with Veito on my lap as Bulma and Yamcha did... whatever it is they do when they're alone together, honestly I don't want to know. After a while I noticed that Kakarot and Tess were missing, but I relocated them quickly and found that Tess was receiving a flying lesson from his father, who was teaching him how to manipulate his ki to give proper propulsion and how to stop without crashing into something. I was glad Kakarot felt better and wasn't so tense and miserable now. Maybe one night of freedom was all he'd needed.

"A lot's changed, hasn't it?" Gohan asked from next to me, marking the page in his book and watching his younger brothers.

I nodded absently.

"I remember when you two wouldn't even speak to each other," the demi went on, obviously meaning Kakarot and me, "And now look."

I exhaled a short laugh, "Yeah, I used to want to crush him under my boot and force him to bow to me. You too. And everyone else."

"What happened?" he asked, "To make you different? To make Dad different?"

I shrugged, "Who can say? But we're here now and this is the way things are."

My fingers sifted gently through Veito's hair as he stirred slightly, but he didn't wake up.

I remembered back two years ago, when I'd felt so lost and confused. When I'd thought the world was completely against me and made some... pretty bad choices... purely because I didn't know what else to do. Gohan was right, it was so different now.

"Gohan..." I said after a moment, curiosity edging my voice, "Do you miss your mother?"

I'd had no fondness for the harpy of a woman to begin with, but since she'd kept butting in between Kakarot and me and saying some really terrible things, I'd labeled her an enemy. But I had to wonder about the kids, namely Gohan and Goten... did they think of her the same way? I knew I couldn't replace her position in their lives, but I just wanted to know...

He tilted his head slightly, a furrow of thought between his eyebrows, "Sort of. I remember the good times we had together, and she's my mom, so I guess it's an obligation to feel _something_ for her. But... I don't know... I know she made some bad choices and got some bad luck, but she could have gone about it better than she did. And she hit Goten, so I can't say I think she's responsible at all. Really, I just wish she'd let it go and move on."

I fell silent, thinking about what he said. It didn't really answer my question, but then, I hadn't voiced the whole thing. What I really wanted to ask was whether the demi even thought of me as a parent, or just... someone who showed up in his life and tried to synchronize with it.

"Why do you ask?" Gohan queried, seeming genuinely interested.

"Well..." I stammered, thinking of how to put it, "Since Kakarot and I... have you.. what did you...?"

He seemed to understand the fragments of questions better than I assumed he would, and he thought about it again. That was one thing I liked about Gohan; he never just blurted anything out or said whatever jumped to mind. He considered things and took people seriously.

Eventually he just smiled, "I'll admit I was a little weirded out at first. But remember there was a lot of drama beforehand about you and Dad even getting along, let alone... what I mean is, I had a lot of time to get used to the idea. And it wasn't like you were a stranger, anyway. You've kind of always been there, so it wasn't a huge adjustment to start thinking of you as family. Though I did wonder whether I should call you Dad or Mom at first."

I growled slightly before realizing he was kidding.

"And Tess and Veito have been worth it all, if you need any further reassurance that you're one of us now." the demi said with a grin.

_One of us._ I don't know why, but those simple words brought out a new kind of pride that I didn't know I had. A feeling of belonging. I wasn't tied to Gohan or his brother by blood or by bond, but I was still one of them... because I _chose_ to be, because they _let_ me be.

And I had to wonder as I looked out at my family in all its glory why I had ever thought I wanted anything more out of life than this.

TBC

_((Short chapter. Sappy chapter. Also the LAST real chapter in this story...Now all that's left is the epilogue and then on to the sequel. Geez, I just won't let anything end, will I?_

_Thank you all, as always, for your patience and support._

_-Shinsun))_


	54. Chapter 54

(("_You were never supposed to mean this much to me; I was never supposed to fall so hard. But you know what? I did and that's the truth, that's what keeps me holding on because it hurts like hell to let you go."_

_-Unknown))_

Not In A Million Years

Chapter 54 – _Epilogue_

_Ten years later..._

Now this is a scene I'm familiar with. The bustling crowds and people shouting and buying various merchandise, the colors and the chaos and announcements spoken over a megaphone that shrieks a little with the static. The smell of adrenaline and cooking food and excitement.

Yes, I've been to a Budokai Tournament before, more than once, but in the past I was here as I fighter. Now, I'm simply a spectator.

Even if I did want to fight these humans just for sport – which, I'll admit, I didn't really – my mate forbade me from entering anyway. Because I was pregnant. Again.

We both agreed this would be the last time. I know we'd sworn not to have any more, but with Goten and Trunks moving out and Gohan's new daughter Pan emerging a few years ago, we decided to give it one more go.

I had gone ten years without this. Bulma had tried to get me on birth control pills, but with a Saiyan metabolism, they weren't permanent. They did, however, cause me to be essentially sterile while in heat and diffused the scent that would otherwise drive Kakarot insane with unsated lust. I had to take these once every six months to ensure that no more unplanned pregnancies occurred. So a decade went by rather peacefully where Tesserot and Veito grew and already indestructible bonds kept strengthening.

I was three months into this fourth and final pregnancy, and Kakarot had already predicted the child to be a girl. I'd never had a daughter before, and full-blooded Saiyan females were rare, so I considered this a blessing.

Anyhow, the reason we were here today was actually for Tess and Veito, who were old enough now to fight in the junior division of this Tournament. Of course, they could probably enter in the adult division and still have their opponents running for the hills, but apparently that was against the rules.

If there was any comparison between my two full-blooded sons, Tesserot was born to be a fighter. He was two years old when he created his first Kamehameha wave, and four when he got into his first real fight. He was an aerial predator, attacking from the sky with amazing agility and strength; and nowadays he could beat both Goten and Trunks in a fight two-to-one. He wasn't a Super Saiyan yet – thank the gods, or he'd be a nightmare – but he was definitely a protégé.

In contrast, Veito got the brains. A strategist, but not one for brute force, he wasn't as enthusiastic about fighting as his brother, and he was very... quiet. Like he had been since birth, he barely made a sound and was reluctant to speak to people, especially people he didn't know. He was ten years old, but barely had any real friends outside his family circle, and while he got top marks in school, frankly, he seemed bored with it.

There was a darker side to Veito. It was almost definitely because of his genetics being as messed up as they were; but he got a little... _off_, sometimes. He'd say or do something inexplicable, or he'd get really unstable and freak out. And then there were... what Kakarot and I referred to in secret as his _attacks._ I don't know if I'd call them seizures, but he would either be completely paralyzed for anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes, or his energy level would go insane and he'd get a horrible headache and his pulse would fluctuate. One time when this happened his heart completely stopped for a second or two. And if his father hadn't been there to keep him alive with his ki, I dread to think what would have happened.

No one was sure what caused these attacks, and they didn't happen often, but whenever they _did_ occur; all I could think of was Kakarot's speculation ten years ago when he found out about Veito's genetics. '_with the instability resulting from something that should be universally impossible, his mind and body could come undone completely...the scenarios I've come up with would more than likely result in him self-destructing or something.'_

But on the average day, Veito was just a normal kid. Well... about as normal as a Saiyan can be. He was a little antisocial and was more withdrawn than most kids, but he had a fascination with living things that reassured me. He had the will to keep going even when it was hard, and he was strong.

A hand on my shoulder lifted me from my reverie and I looked up to see Kakarot watching me, tail flicking slowly. I realized he had asked me something, but I hadn't been paying attention.

"I'm sorry, Kakarot. What did you say?"

Amusement lit his eyes for a moment, "I was just asking you where you wanted to sit. The preliminaries won't start for a while yet, so we've got time."

I shrugged, "Wherever, just not too far from the action. I want to watch my sons fight."

He nodded in understanding, and I felt his pride in his youngest children radiating through him.

"How come you didn't enter?" I asked as we sat down in the second row of the stands, "Swaying from tradition, are we?"

He laughed a little, "Against these humans? Nah, I got bored of that a while ago. Besides, there's nothing to be gained from it. It won't make me stronger and it won't benefit them to get their asses handed to them when I'm not even trying."

"Heh. Where's your Saiyan bloodlust, Kakarot?" I smirked.

"The only person on this planet worth my time in battle is you," he said, "And maybe Tesserot when he's ready for it. I have no reason to fight either of you though, so unless we're sparring or the world is in danger, my fighting days are over."

Somehow that thought almost made me feel sad. Kakarot loved to fight, but there just wasn't anyone left who was at his level anymore. It had been a damn long time since either of us had gotten a real challenge, and we still had a veritable century or two ahead of us before we parted this life.

Gohan and his wife and daughter joined us after a while, and Kakarot joined them in a conversation while I scanned the gathering people below for my sons. I had given Tesserot very clear instructions as to what to do if his brother had an attack during the fight or before. Get the other contestants away from him, alert his father or me by raising his ki, and tell the announcer to call a time out. I knew the child's protectiveness for his younger brother, even if they argued sometimes, and I knew he'd do as I said if it came to that.

"So I hear I'm going to have a baby sister," Gohan said to me, smiling.

I nodded shortly, wincing as three-year-old Pan grabbed the end of my tail in her tiny fist. Curiously, she squeezed the furry appendage slightly and I couldn't silence a quiet sound of pain.

"Pan, let go," Gohan said gently, prying his daughter's grip from my tail.

I blinked my thanks and returned my attention to the contestants below, still searching for Tess and Veito. I remembered what they'd said before they left to follow the other youths entering in the Tournament.

I had knelt to their eye level and reminded them both to go easy on the humans, and not fight at full power, and Kakarot had added that they should still try their best and have a good time, and that it wasn't about winning if they didn't come by it honestly.

"Fight with honor," he said, "It's more gratifying that way."

Tess had stood tall and looked from his father to me, and back.

"I'll make you proud, Dad." he said boldly, "And you, _T__ӫtka."_

And Veito had hugged me around my shoulders and given his father a confident nod, "They won't know what hit 'em."

Then they were gone, and I'd stood next to my mate, wishing I could protect them but also remembering that this was supposed to be a sport. For fun.

'_Vegeta, stop worrying, they'll be fine.'_ Kakarot sent to me, sensing my thoughts of the recent past.

'_I know,'_ I said, '_I know.'_

He smiled and leaned across the space between us to put an arm around my shoulders.

'_When was the last time I told you how much I love you?'_ he asked.

'_Counting all the times you said it in your head? About 20 seconds ago.'_

He laughed and Gohan and Videl looked across at us first skeptically, and then compassionately.

I hadn't been sure how the latter would take the... _unusual_ state of her husband's family, but to my surprise she jumped right on it. In fact, she fit right in, and I suppose that was because she'd seen a _lot_ stranger things than a family where two – soon to be three- of the children were born from a male Saiyan. She had even asked my advice when she was pregnant with Pan, and while I was surprised, I also felt what could have been a surge of pride. I remembered Bulma advising me when I was new to this, and now I had knowledge to share and things to pass down to others. I'd probably have to teach my daughter about it too, but that was far in the future.

Goten and Trunks showed up then, waving to us and coming over to talk.

"I thought you were fighting in the adult division?" Gohan said.

"We are," Trunks said, "Just stopping by to say hey."

I raised an eyebrow, "You're allowed to do that?"

"No," Goten admitted, "But we don't have to fight for a while yet, so..."

"Have you seen Tess and Veito around?" Kakarot interrupted.

"Yeah," Goten nodded, "And then I remembered I haven't seen them in two years, Dad. Man, Tess grows like a weed."

"Soon will come the day when yet _another_ of my sons is taller than me," I muttered, "If he's anything like his father."

"Veito actually looked kind of bored," Trunks added, "I hope he livens up in the actual fight."

As long as he was bored and _alright_, I was fine with that.

Trunks glanced over his shoulder and tensed, "Shoot, the officials are gonna come after us. We gotta go."

"See you guys later," Goten grinned, following his adopted brother as they headed back.

"They really needed to get out and do something," Kakarot said absently, "Besides stalk every girl in creation, I mean."

I snickered, "At least they get rejected about eighty percent of the time."

"Shh," Gohan commanded, "It's starting."

With the usual idiotic fanfare, the announcer began to introduce the contestants of the youth division to the cheering crowd. Well, most of them cheering, anyway. Some of us had sensitive hearing, and some of us were royalty and didn't want to make fools of ourselves.

Human kids ranging from what I would call young children to near-adults filed in, some waving, some flexing muscles, things like that. My mate beside me aided my search for our sons, guiding my line of sight in the right direction. And I saw them. Tess stood just next to his brother, ignoring the crowd entirely and focusing his gaze stanchly on me. I could see the pride evident in his coal eyes and confident stance, and I returned his wave once he was sure I'd seen him. Veito's eyes flitted around the crowd, a spark of interest lighting them as he seemed to be counting in his head. Eventually his gaze found his father and me and he lifted his chin with a smirk that fit perfectly on a face near-identical to my own.

Kakarot leaned against me slightly, smiling genuinely and twining his tail with mine. This would be a day to remember, both for us and for our sons who awaited the assigning of their opponents below.

I mused wistfully about the events leading up to now. Everything I'd done, everything I'd said and every life mine had touched had added together to create this moment today. The future could always change, but at least one thing was certain.

No matter where it lead, I would face it with the ones I loved.

And _that_ was worth every moment of it.

END

X

_((Not quite! There is still a sequel coming up, and the title and teaser will be revealed..._

_NOW.))_

**As the clouds boiled above me I stand, drenched to the bone, insignificant beneath the endless gray sky that mocks me with its power.

It was never enough. All my efforts to go beyond and surpass my brother were for nothing. For how long had I tried and tried to ascend and become a Super Saiyan? Just to see the pride in the gaze of my parents that I might never achieve now? How long had I strove for that? For the gold that seemed like dirt to me now.

I remember why I stand here. I remember why I think these things, why I can never go back now.

And as the image of my little brother's broken, beaten body flashes in my mind, I throw back my head and scream at the heavens.

"Why did you take him away?! Why couldn't it have been _me?!_ Dammit, I'll do anything, just give me my brother back!" **

Going Gold

_((How's that for a teaser? Keep a lookout for the sequel, and yes it will be from both Tesserot and Vegeta's points of view. The title is Going Gold, and it'll be coming soon enough._

_EDIT* Going Gold is up RIGHT NOW, go check my profile, it should be right there._

_Thank you all for your help and praise for this story, all of you are amazing and I could never ask for better readers._

_-Shinsun))_


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